Stress or worse...

In a previous post, I talked about the fact that I have a bad case of anxiety and I was going to write a post about it... Well, there it is!

I'll try my best to describe it without being too boring as it is a subject that may be pretty depressing, especially if you know what it feels like... 

Anxiety is considered to be a disorder that controls your life in some ways. It's a feeling of constant worrying about everything and being nervous about every outcome.
I call it a living nightmare! After having anxiety for over 10 years, I can tell you a lot about it, about my experiences, the stories I hear around me. To be honest, I don't even know where to even start. It's such a broad subject that picking the first point to this post, seems like it's impossible!

I started having anxiety around the time my parents filed for divorce. One horrible time for everyone and I had to mature up at a young age. Took responsibilities that shouldn't have, and protected people a lot more than I should have. At the time, I wasn't sure what was happening to me, I would get panic attacks and not knowing what to do, so I was ignoring all the problems. Then I came to the U.S, learned a new language, made new friends, changed my routine, and started a new life. The anxiety was still around, less present since I was ignoring all the signs, I would always say, "Oh it's nothing, just stress...". During junior high school, I started learning more about psychology, body language, and communication. I might have known a lot already, but it taught me about anxiety, the how, the why and it helped me realize that I had the disorder myself. I was doing my own psychology, not telling anyone, keeping everything to myself. High School came quicker than expected, leaving me with much more anxiety. I had lost a couple friends, making new enemies, and more family issues. Too much for a troubled girl. I had too much going on, and I couldn't control anything anymore.
Now, after a couple years of psychology and dealing with the issue by myself, I can finally put into words what it feels. The stabbing feeling, the constant idea of worrying about every single thing, making me stop doing things that I want to. Making me have panic attacks where the only thing that calms me down is sitting down on a cold floor (my bathroom floor), and listening to the same song over and over again like it's completely normal. It sounds like I'm mentally incapable of living a normal life, yet I'm, at least trying. Sometimes, I wish it could disappear, so I can finally know what it feels not to care so much about everything. People actually take medication to control the anxiety, but not me, the choice was simple, no way! So while some people may end up controlling it, I can't, and don't feel sorry for me. I actually try to manage it the best I can, but sometimes it's beyond my control. That feeling where nothing is right, that you are holding the entire world on your shoulders, making you want to end your life because you can't take it anymore... It doesn't just affect your daily life, but it may also disturb your sleep. I've been dealing with sleep deprivation. Waking up around the same time, over thinking about everything, making me wonder if I did the right thing during that day or week. Waking up in the middle of the night, not able to breathe, feeling your heartbeat at the speed of light, feeling like you need to go to the hospital because you know you aren't fine and end up staying in bed, under the covers, thinking, and thinking. Trying to calm yourself down and failing at it. That feeling where all you can think the negative outcome of life because you know that you are not capable of living your life by yourself. That feeling of being never alone because you always have that little voice in your head telling you "You aren't fine, everyone is going to hurt you at the end, you can't have a normal life, you are destined to be miserable...", that anxiety that never leaves you and if you try to ignore it, it finds its way back and hurt you more than before. 

So for over 10 years, my list of phobia grew longer, making me look like a wimp. Look like a chicken who is afraid of everything and who has multiple traumas. I don't disagree, I do have a few traumas, but not every phobia came after a traumatic event, mostly came after a bad case of anxiety. The funny thing is I'm not alone in this case and yet it really does feel like I'm the only one. It's complicated to realize that people may end up understand what you are going through. 
At the end of the day, I'm still alive and the next day will be another day to survive. 
After talking to a few people about anxiety itself, a few tips came my way. 
Don't let anxiety rule your world! Sounds impossible, but if you really want it, you can achieve it, it takes a while, but I can tell you one thing doesn't be afraid of it. You can control the anxiety! Be the leader and not the follower. Anxiety is just a disorder, not a person, it's not the entire you, just a fragment of yourself. 
Find your happy place... This one might be in your head or just a place that you really enjoy going to when you are feeling sad or anxious. Mine is the train station, sounds odd, but seeing people and hearing the train come, sitting on a bench, observing the surroundings calms me down. My train station is an outside one, so when it's sunny and warm, it's quite pleasant.

To end this post, if you have anxiety yourself, don't beat yourself up. You aren't alone and if you need someone to talk to, or just a friend whenever you are feeling anxious, I'm here. I'm a great listener and I tend to know what to say in those situations, so don't be afraid. I'll be glad to help. After all, friendship is free, you don't have to pay for it like you would have to pay for a person who has a diplomat but never really felt anxiety themselves. I don't have a medical degree or anything fancy, just my experience and a lot of psychology behind me. It doesn't make me an expert but I know what it feels like. If you do not have anxiety, lucky you, I wish it on no one, but don't start judging anyone who has it, it's no one's fault! It's our fight, and even though it's a battlefield, we are the only one to fight it... I know I'm a bomb who will explode... So...

"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." -Albert Camus

~Bella  

Le petite bretonne aux Etat-Unis....

Brittany or commonly known as Bretagne in France is a region full of history.
I'm a fanatic of history, learning about it all! I think I take this trait from my grandfather, thank you :)

Let's start off with a little bit of a history lesson.

I'm far from being the greatest teacher but I'll try my best to keep you entertained!

First, Brittany is the north-west coast of France, it's considered one of the regions where it rains all the time. That is not entirely true so stop believing it and just go it's a beautiful region that has plenty charm.
The history is quite entertaining and there's always something new to learn about this region like the Celtic side of it. You may think of Ireland when you hear Celtic and it does have similar aspects like the stones... The enchanting tales...  To be honest, there's a plenty of legends like Lancelot or Merlin, druids. There's even a forest called Broceliande based on all these tales. It's a must go visit the place.
Besides, the Celtic side, there's a Roman side with Ceasar wanted to conquer the Gaul (France at the time), and you can still see the Roman remains in some cities like Dinan. The conquest that Ceasar tried to gain for his empire was an inspiration for the legendary Asterix and the magic potion that would be used to fight off the Romans. Sadly, it wasn't at all true, no one had potions, no one was invincible, history was a little different.
After the Roman fall, Irish people immigrated (it's what it's written in history, there might have been others before), the British/ Anglo-Saxon came to the land. They had a strong impact, building the first cathedrals. In many little Breton churches, you can see the tales of fighters, and Saints that came in the region.
To summarize a little the history of Brittany, after the Romans, Anglo-Saxon came and till this day, we can recognize that there's a lot more traces of Celts around the whole region. It's a little Britain but in France.

Brittany has traditions, it's own language that you may learn at school, grand-grandparents would still speak Breton which is similar to Welsh and Cornish. Castles are still standing looking more magnificent and full of mysteries. The rural part of the region still holds lots of the origins, and the rural part still manage to have a strong character, nothing like Los Angeles. It's a must-see region!
Part of traditions, there's festivals where people can dress up as their elders, the costumes they would wear in a daily life.
I love symbols and know a lot about them. They have quite a lot, but here's a few:
- The Gwenn ha du (black and white in Breton) is referring to the stripy Breton flag. It's everywhere!
- Towering lighthouses are everywhere as well. Brittany holds a lot more than any other regions. If you visit, you cannot leave the place without a postcard represent a lighthouse!

- Coiffes, or lace bonnets... Worn by women in France in the past, but in the southwest Brittany, the tradition of wearing them grew to exceptional proportions and sadly died after generations of wearing them. From experience, it hurts, you will get headaches after you take the coiffe down! You will see them during festivals, the most common one is in Quimper. Beautiful city and beautiful festivals!
- B is butter... The salted butter, Santa Cleopatra, it's the best in the world! But B can also be for Bécassine... She is a fictional character from books that I used to read when I was younger. It's a reflection of the peasant that lived in Brittany.                                      
- Hortensia or commonly known as Hydrangea,  you will find them everywhere!
- Megaliths, those stones like in Ireland, we have a few of them in circles...
- The Triskel! Very Celtic symbol that is beyond what you may imagine. People get them tattooed on them, especially on the ankle. It represents three major Celtic Gods (Lugh, Dagda, and Ogma), the three elements (Fire, Earth and Water), time (Past, Present and Future) and the three worlds (World of the Living, World of the Dead and the world of the Spirits).  It has been the emblem of the Breton National Party since 1940!

Since I was talking about tradition and symbols, I believe that I can also talk about the food!
Being close to the ocean, you cannot deny that obviously means seafood! I cannot begin to describe the food, it would take an entire post to detail you everything... So until next time... But... I can talk about crêpes (sweet featherlight) and galettes( savoury buckwheat) ! You call them pancakes, honestly, I don't see much resemblance! Crêpes are the sweet ones, the one you spread Nutella on, or jam, sugar, butter, lemon, fruits... I always tend to turn for the Nutella one, not surprising! :)
Then you have the more complex one where you may put cheese, eggs, and ham, it's called
 "La Complète". You may have anything you want in them from spinach to seafood. The choice is endless!

Many of you may have never tried any galettes nor crêpes, but let me tell you, it's the best dish ever! It may look different from what you may be used to see and eat, but honestly, you can't just not try them at least once. I have heard that the galette is the one that most people have a hard time eating, don't get me wrong, it's a very different taste, not in a bad way, on the contrary! You won't and can't not love it. I'm a huge fan! You'll definitely have to have it before you die!

Just a little note, I'm half Bretonne (Breton), so the Celtic and Roman side of me are present! I'm proud of whoI amm and being Bretonne. People say that we are cold people, but we ar the ones that once friends we are there for you through tough times. We are big travelers (that doesn't stop me from being sea sick), and we love our festivals and dances! Our drinks like Cider (no, not the sparkling apple cider, the real one with the alcohol in)! I have indeed learned the language at school, still sing happy birthday in the language, it's actually hilarious to hear, it sounds very Welsh. We are proud of our origins and our crêpes... Oh and we have our own Coca-Cola!

" A l'Aise Breizh..."

~Bella

 

At least you'll never be a vegetable- even artichokes have hearts....

Let me start off by saying that I love movies, but I've always had something special with Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain or commonly known as Amelie. A French romantic comedy that came out in 2001, more than 10 years ago about a young, innocent Parisian, Amelie (Audrey Tautou), who decides to help those around her while imagining a love story with the man she saw at the train station, Nino...

The first time I watched the movie it was in 2006 when my parents were getting a divorce. I was on the couch next to my mother in front of the TV, slowly falling in love with the movie! Since then I watch it at least three to four times a year, and I cry around the same scenes.

It's not just a movie to me, it's my story, obviously not the entire film but parts of it. Her personality reflects mine, innocent, sweet, caring, big dreamer who loves to help others but doesn't help herself. A guardian angel to some, and a matchmaker to others. 

I've made a short list of what she does in the movie, and what I do in my life.... 

- Young Amelie would eat her raspberries directly from each of her fingers. I've always done it, and I will continue because despite looking like a child playing around with food, it's amusing. 

- When Amelie goes to the movies, she looks behind her to see the reactions of other people. I tend to always be on the last row so I look at the people on the sides. It's funny to see all these different faces. 

- She manages to help those who surrounds her while I'm always present if you ever need something.

- Amelie has always lived in her own little world, asking herself questions about the world... I think I suffer from the same disease!


I'll stop here...
If you haven't seen the movie, it's a must watch! It's in French but some versions have English subtitles if you don't understand any French. The movie is well translated, so I really think you may learn something from this movie. I know I learned a lot especially about myself! It's not every day you can relate to a movie character! And I'm happy to say that people had confused me with the actress, Audrey Tautou while I was at the airport! :) It's still making me smile when I talk about it.

Amelie is a reflection of what an isolated young girl go through when she grows up. The idea behind the movie was to make people realize that changes are not always bad and that it is totally fine to ask questions! Being young and curious is considered normal while when grown-ups ask questions is it quite embarrassing... Amelie, on the other hand, doesn't fear the judgments of others and still ask questions just like a kid would do. The movie proves us that we can all help someone with a small gesture like crossing a blind man across the street!

" Luck is like the Tour de France. You wait, and it flashes past you. You have to catch it while you can."- Raymond Dufayel aka Glass Man. 

~Bella

Knowing a little more about me...

I thought I would write 10 facts about me. Don't worry, I won't be writing about my hopeless romantic side again, I think you've got the point in an earlier post.
Knowing people can be quite complex as some would prefer to keep everything to themselves while some others may be open books, which means you know them without really having a conversation.
Getting to know someone isn't just hearing or seeing what they say or do, it's about knowing how to talk to them, learn how they may react in a situation...

In my case, this post is just ten facts about me that may be interesting to know. No promises, though. I'm very ordinary.

1.  I have been living in the past.

I don't live in the present or the future, I always look back at my past, wondering tons of questions, making me wonder if I had made the right choice. It's rather annoying to be living in the past because you cannot be happy, well at least I can't. People that are living in the past hold on to memories, good and bad ones. In my case, it's not a fear of the present or the future, or having a case of nostalgia! It's only because I'm familiar with my past. Take it, however, you feel like... 

2. One of my biggest phobias is abandonment.


Not the type where my parents leave me on the side of the road, but leaving me as in emotionally. To be less complicated, let me give you an example... In a breakup, I cannot deal with it, I break down, become empty, sad, depressed because it's like a version of abandonment. I'm afraid to be alone, and everyone leaving me. I know where the phobia comes from so at least it's good news, maybe one day it'll be better.

3. Each month I receive a Rolling Stone magazine.

I never subscribed to any girly magazines like whatever girls usually read. I'm into music and stories, not fashion and makeup. This magazine saved me a lot when I was traveling back and forth to Europe! No, I don't subscribe online, I feel like the touch of the paper is a lot more interesting than looking at a screen, I think I have enough of that all day.

4. Despite my love for art in general, reading and writing, I love to play video games.

Actually, last time I was at my friend's house, I finished playing The Walking Dead. This game isn't new, but the ending got me really frustrated! I couldn't deal with the fact that all my choices were bad! Like really bad! Obviously, the ending had to be sad! I think I actually played for four hours straight...

5. I may not eat a lot, and I don't eat every meal, but trust me I love food!

I think everyone loves food in general, but I've been hearing that I don't eat enough. Sadly, my stomach isn't big, I can only hold so much. No worries, I do eat, and can actually eat a lot if I really want to. Especially if it's Italian cuisine, then... You can say goodbye to me sharing my food! I'll be just like Joey Tribbiani from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I don't share my food!




6. I'm neither an introvert nor an extrovert, I'm in between!

I can be really shy, and prefer to stay in my room, alone without no one to bother me. Sometimes I'm the complete opposite! I'm more an outgoing person, who loves to be around people, drink, and party, enjoying myself. I tend to stay in my bubble away from new things because I'm scared. Then sometimes I come out of my comfort zone...
A little note of advice: Don't be afraid to be who you are, be an introvert or extrovert or both... Be sure that everyone is either one of those three!

7. I have a bad case of anxiety!

I might write a whole post about the case... So I won't go into much, details, but I can tell you that it is keeping me from living a perfectly normal life. It keeps me from doing things I should be doing. It's a part of me that controls a part of my life.

8. I tend to take responsibilities for other's mistakes.

I apologize and see when I'm wrong. I have no problems stating I was wrong if I am indeed wrong. It might be hard to get it out of me, but you will get a meaningful apology. If something goes the opposite direction, and something bad happens, I will take the fall and take full on responsibility for everyone. Not a quality! I'm not entirely sure why I always take the blame for people, maybe I'm just too nice... If you have an idea please comment below, I would love some insight! 

9. I pick up on accents rather quickly.

I have to write a post about this as well... It's hilarious to some people like my friend Ryan and well, Tyler as well, think I sound like Hermione Granger from Harry Potter! If you are reading this,Ryan, thank you, now I got it stuck in my head and I try my best to keep the British accent under surveillance.  It's bugging me to not have a French accent anymore.

10. I don't throw anything away and if I do,  I've got reasons to support it. 

I'm the type of person that keeps everything close to me, like a box of souvenirs but a larger one. For example, I still have a friend's shirt. I haven't talked to him in a long time, but I'm keeping his shirt. Or random papers... I've moved houses quite often, and each time I was the one with the big mess. 

There you go, a few little facts about little me. I'm nothing special, just a writer who happens to be herself. No surprises... I wouldn't say I'm an open book, but I'm not going to fake a personality to please anyone. 

" Finding oneself was a misnomer; a self is not found but made." - Jacques Barzun

~Bella

Even from far there's always an European by my side...

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have a friend/twin back in Italy who is like two years older than me, but that doesn't stop us from being amazing... I know it is far, an entire ocean separating us, and yet we find a way to stay close to each other, kind of, in our own ways. Thank you mostly for Whatsapp and Skype!

Being two hopeless romantics, who happens to help one another, smile even when mad at each other is what one may call a strong bond.
Let me tell you all about our friendship because how far as being funny, it's also sweet!

We've known each other for quite some time now, more than a year for sure, and still laugh at our stupidity. We both love soccer and yet we managed to hate each other on the fact that we love two different teams, I'm a Juventus fan and he's more a Torino fan... We ALL know that Juventus is way better than Torino, I mean they are both from Torino (Turin), but my team is better! And I don't miss an opportunity to tease him about it, deep down he loves it ;). I must say I really enjoy showing him my Juventus scarf, it's amazing and warm... And hurtful to his eyes. Ha-ha
Our bond is usually really strong when it comes to EVERYTHING! The sweet messages, and the truth being said, I don't think you can ask anything else. I mean, who wouldn't want to receive a message saying "Sei la cosa più dolce che mi sia mai capitata." Which roughly means, " You are the sweetest thing that ever happened to me." How can you stop talking to someone who is sweet and there for you? It's impossible! 

A few weeks ago, I managed to get worried about him, to the point where I got really angry, and still to this day want to slap him for making me worried sick! When two people are far from each other, it's easy to get worried, so if you are reading this, don't be mad... I just care! We even disappointed each other... Hey, we all make mistakes, I'm still an angel with a little devil inside, it won't be coming out soon, no worries.

What's funny about our friendship is that even from a long distance we know exactly how the other person is feeling. I know it's sounds odd, but let me tell you, he knows when something is wrong with me, but he won't push me to tell him what's up. Which somehow makes me smile quite big, I don't need to tell him much, he knows...
Yesterday, Sunday 22nd of May, we skyped for about an hour, laughing and talking about pretty much everything. It was passed two in the morning for him, oh but let me share how energetic he was! After telling me how many coffees he had during the day, I understood why he couldn't stay put.  Behind the Italian accent and the way he talks with his hands... I couldn't stop laughing! I'm used to hearing his very cute accent, but I love how he makes tiny mistakes when he speaks English. No matter how hard I try not to laugh, sometimes I can't hold it in, he will look for certain words forever, and if I don't figure it out, he will just drop the subject or just say it in Italian. Lucky him, I'm not too horrible when it comes to understanding it, reading is easier, though!
So, usually I eat something during our video chats, I'm not sure why, but I always have something in my mouth, either candy or just cookies, but yesterday beside my very tired face and my messy hair, nothing much happened. I was not such a great mood, mostly depressed, and didn't really feel like talking about myself, so he ended up making me laugh without doing anything. By the way, have you ever had trouble zipping a jacket? Because he did! Me, being sarcastic, offered a hand, I couldn't stop laughing, he couldn't zip his jacket, and even took two minutes to finally zip it up. What a great look, though! I really liked that jacket!
Friendships are easy, and you know you can count on certain ones to make you smile. Fights end quickly, and you may end up laughing at nothing. Even yesterday, I'm not sure if I was making a face or not, as he often says that I have millions of facial expressions, he was laughing and trying to imitate me. Apparently he has a new favorite face, the one I look mad, but not like crazy mad, just slightly frowning and looking at him like "What is wrong with you"... Santa Cleopatra, it's hard to imitate my facial expressions and I end up laughing at him if he does try. The best part is that no matter how bad you may look, he always says "You're beautiful". Honestly, it's a boost of confidence that rush in, and I cannot complain! 

To end this post, I want to thank him for everything that he has been doing for me, from being serious to stupid. Yes, he is blond, dirty blond, but he is far from stupid. I just love to tease him... Just like I love to be myself in front of him. I love how I pick up on his accent and end up saying his sayings like " Don't say baloney". It's part of my daily speech. I have come up with the weirdest expressions ever and if I say it in front of an American, they look at me like I'm an alien. Like the one he said yesterday, it's not the first time I heard it because I know I've used it before but " I have a fresh brain." I'm sure Americans have a similar expression, but this one, come on, it must be Italian expressions. It's funny, but I have to thank him for that! If you are still reading this post, you have all the credits!

Little side note... There's so much to talk about, that I highly think I'm going to have to post quite a lot about our strong bonds, and there'll be other post about my friend and myself. So don't think it's the end because it's not :). 

" ... Strong bonds are forged in high emotional temperatures. " -Dervla Murphy
~Bella

Wait a minute...

Patience... What a word!

Patience is the ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay...
To be less dictionary specific, being patience is a quality that not everyone has! I would know a lot about! 

It never is easy being patient, especially under certain circumstances, but the happy news is that it's a virtue that you can work on! Isn't' it exciting? 

Before I talk about me here's some tips to help you get this virtue on and that helped me a lot become less impatient! 

Little one -  Take a deep breath or two, it will never hurt anyone to take a few seconds to breathe deeply! 
Little two- Write down everything that comes into your head. If you don't like writing, just videotape you or record yourself!  
Little three-  Let go of the problem, if you cannot be patient, just let go, it's that easy! 
Little four- Listen to your surroundings and to yourself. That little voice in your head telling you to take it slow, listen to it! 
Little five- If you are a perfectionist, just stop, it will get you nowhere! Things cannot be perfect, no one can be perfect, just learn to manage your emotions, and everything will be alright at the end. 

To talk about my experience of being an impatient person I'll just share with you the time when I had to learn how to be patient. 
To begin, if you don't know me, I have what you call anxiety, an overload of stress that rushes throughout your body causing, sometimes, panic attacks. Not to make up an excuse for me being impatient, it didn't help at all. I couldn't see the big picture, always looking for the tiniest issue possible, making me impatient. When I started looking after my mother's friend's boys, I had to learn how to be patient, quickly, as you may already know kids themselves are impatient.  So, after learning how to listen to them, closely, and trying to explain a lot more why they would be in trouble, I've learned that it doesn't just happen with kids, you also have to give all your intention to people in general. It takes a lot of time to accomplish the listen skill part, but when you have it, oh, life is more beautiful! You can actually take a deep breath, look at the big picture, listen to your surroundings, and as Californians knows best "Take it easy". 

Being patient is a virtue that not many people can actually get as I've said before it's not easy! For instance, in love, you need a great deal of patience, if you don't have it, you can say goodbye to the relationship. I'm still learning, I haven't fully got the chance to be the most patient person that is passed a certain age. See I can be very patient when it comes kids from the age of birth to 10 years old.  Now, I just have to be patient with some adults in some situations. I still learn every day, and I can tell you one thing is that it is the hardest thing you can accomplish, but when it's done, you'll be proud! 

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."- Aristotle 

~Bella

Croissant... Not the moon phase but the French pastry!

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I love Bree'Osh!

Croissants, we all know what they are, and everyone will say "Oh French pastries", but have you ever really enjoyed eating one?

Little French crescent-shaped buttery pastries have been in my life since day one. Came across so many of them that I can finally distinguish  the ones that are "perfect", obviously, it's just my opinion... 
Usually eaten for breakfast is also, in my opinion, a great little taste of happiness. Croissants are as simple as it gets without fillings, but you can also find them with either almond cream or if you are home, I would suggest hit it up just a little and spread some Nutella... But then again that's only my opinion, I'm just suggesting... 

So let's talk about how I concluded that I found the perfect croissants... Yes, it's at my favorite little place... Bree'Osh! They have captured me with a real taste of croissants. It brings back so many memories, walking to the kitchen in the morning to the pleasant smell of buttery croissants. Yummy! 

Their croissants aren't just good- looking, they are crispy, delicate and sensational! An orgasm in your mouth... It's that delicious! Pierre knows how to make croissants that aren't too buttery, let's be honest here, some croissants have too much butter, but not the ones at Bree'Osh, they have the perfect amount of butter, and that cannot be denied. You just have to go check it out for yourself! You'll see I'm far from lying! They have the most traditional croissants which are simple without any fillings (just because it's simple doesn't mean it's bad, it's actually the opposite, and you should not be afraid of simplicity), and they also make almond croissants! You should try both of them! These croissants are the best in town, but shhh let's not tell the competition about it, or else they will be jealous of how amazing Bree'Osh's croissants taste like! 

I have to accept the fact that yes I'm an addict of pastries in general, but when it comes to real homemade ones... I cannot resist! If you are in love with food in general, and you want to experience a warm pastry, you should definitely go to Bree'Osh and try these unbelievable croissants! Croissants are complex but simple as well with their angelic taste that can spin you around into a tornado of flavors... 

"Whoever said money can't buy you happiness has obviously not been in a bakery..." 

~ Bella

Paper... Snow...A ghost...

You've guessed it, it's Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S!!!! 

Besides movies, I love TV shows, especially F.R.I.E.N.D.S, it's an old tv show, yes, but one of the best ones out there! 
I've watched every single episode more than four times. It's a great way to escape reality, and it's an amazing, life lesson show! You learn how to grow up, learn about jobs, romance, depression, babies, families, friends... And a lot of heartbreaks! It got me through so many desperate times, it's always a good way to go if you want to laugh!

Here are 10 life lessons from F.R.I.E.N.D.S:

1. Good friends are priceless! 
Look at all six of them, always helping one another, and being there for each other...
2. Always eat the rest of the cheesecake!
Cheesecake is delicious, so don't try and finish it later, you'll regret it! 
3.Always think before you speak!
This one must be the most common life lesson out there, but I learned that lesson from FRIENDS. 

4.Dance like no one is looking!!! 
Don't ever let any judgments bother you from doing anything you want. Look at Ross and Monica, it was, let's be honest, embarrassing. 
5. When you go have a fake tan, don't bother counting MISSISSIPPI seconds!
Unless you want to go from paper white to dark chocolate, go ahead, feel free to count Mississippi seconds! It will be a good laugh to others for sure! 
6. Enjoy the little things in life.
Just because it's tiny, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy and be happy about it. Look at Joey and Chandler with their comfy chairs... 
7. Always stay young!
We all grow up at some point, but do we have to give up the bubble wrap? Come on, it's fun... :)

8. Breakups are hard and painful!
The pain is real and Rachel shows us exactly how it is... Just plain painful.
9. Never cheat!
Not even on a break! Like honestly? Really? Ross made a mistake and look what happened! Just because you are on a break doesn't mean you can go and play around. Be true to the one you love or else you can say goodbye to them! 
10. Last lesson for this post at least... Communicate! Please talk to one another! You might end up learning a lot from                                                         each other, and it fixes problems.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S had been on the air from 1994 to 2004, and even though I used to watch it in French, I've always loved it! This show helped me with my English, helped me throughout breakups, helped me understand how people may act, it such a great show to know what real life is like, that you just want to watch every episode multiple times! 
And the best part is the song! " I'll be there for you..." Santa Cleopatra... It gets stuck in your head but hey at least it's not that stupid potato flew around my room song...

If you don't like the show, don't bother being my friend, it won't work! I don't need extra negativity in my life... I'm sorry. 

"Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it!" - Monica Geller, F.R.I.E.N.D.S

~Bella

Not just a friend, a best friend!

I'm sure you know what a best friend is, right?


For as long as I could remember, we go through experiences, difficult times and there's always that one person that happens to be here for you no matter the cost. Even though I'm sure we all lost a few best friends throughout our lives, there will be that one person that comes into your life, and stays, obviously to bug you. Just kidding... 

When I was a child, I had the most amazing best friend ever, she was more like a sister than anything. We would do everything together from going to the same school to spending hours playing around her family farm and help out when we could. Sadly life has downs, changes that make you lose these types of friendships. Then I came to the US... For a European coming to the US, trust me it's difficult to make friends. You have different life views, different jokes, different everything. So, 6th grade... Made a few friends, and a French girl who lived in California longer than I had, became my friend and a really close friend, even became best friends. Life continued and I lost her as well...
I could go on forever.
When you think you have an incredible friend you can count on, something dramatic happens and you lose them...

People tend to take everyone for granted, especially the ones that are close to us. Yes, you aren't alone, I, myself sometimes take granted people that love me. It's not my intention, but I still do it, realizing it too late. Do not take anything in the wrong way, I'm blaming myself as well because we all make mistakes! Best friends are here for you no matter what the cost is, they may seem harsh when they want to be serious, but at the end of the day, even after a fight, they will come back to you like nothing ever happened! They look passed your flaws, your determination of being yourself, and they don't try to change who you are!  

My best friend... He might be the opposite sex, and he might live far, but trust me, I know I can count on him to tell me the truth! My best friend picks me up from the lowest possible point to a higher ground because he knows how to talk to me. I've had plenty ups and downs, couldn't really deal with anything by myself, went downhill in a matter of days, seconds, and now I own my best friend a lot! Being able to tell a person everything without being scared of judgements that will never come in between the friendship, that's just a real friendship!

This past month and a half have been a very difficult time for me, didn't know what to do, who to turn to, or even do with all these feelings that came rushing up to the surface. How many times I kept things for myself,bottling everything so I could just ignore it all, and how many times I had to call my best friend and cry over the phone asking for help because I wasn't capable of thinking straight... We think we are strong, but we always need someone close to keep your head up! I would have probably ended up doing something really stupid, something I wouldn't come back if my best friend wasn't here reassuring me everything will be ok, that I can't give up on hope. Even though I wasn't easy to talk to at the time, and might have argued many, many times, at the end, I was still listening to some advice he had given me over the phone. 

I've always heard " You know who your best friend is when you are at the lowest point of your life." They were right about that! While some just don't give a f***, some actually do and don't let you go ahead that easily! They might not message you every day or weeks, but they are still here for you! They don't hurt you! 

If you have a best friend, tell them how thankful you are to have them in your life. Best friends are precious and you don't want to lose them! Just know how to pick them and trust them before calling them your BFF! 

" Best friends are people you don't need to talk to every single day. You don't need to talk to each other for weeks, but when you do, it's as if you'd never stopped talking." 

~Bella

Is that one fake?

I never liked talking about types of people, but this one actually really gets me...

Types of friends!

First, let's take the definition of the dictionary...
" A person who you like and enjoy being with, a person who helps or supports someone or something (such as a cause or charity)"
I'm not disagreeing with the dictionary's definition, but I've got my own!
A friend is someone you can count on if you are in trouble, a person that has your back no matter what, who doesn't judge you, or talk behind your back!

Now I've realized throughout the years that friends come and goes. There're multiple types of friends as well... Good ones and bad ones...
Here are 8 types of friends I've seen throughout my life (I'm still young, but it doesn't mean much)


1.That friend who always happen to take photos of EVERYTHING!
Let's be honest we all have that one friend that takes everything on pictures or videos just to post it on social media. Those ones... They get on my nerves!

2. The party animal friend...
This is one of those friends that only wants to party, don't get me wrong, we should all have that one friend. But if you want to be serious, give up now, it's not that friend you want if you want to have a serious conversation.

3.The "I'm lost" friend!
I've had to deal with one in Vegas, last year, while at a conference. We were at a big hotel in Last Vegas, looking for the exit. We only had to retrieve our steps, not hard, but for yes, it was a nightmare! She was getting lost, if I wasn't there, she would have gotten stuck in the bloody hotel.

4.The never shut up friend!
I'm not complaining about you talking, but there's always that one person who never happens to know when to stop talking! You cannot place one single word into a conversation, that person does all the talking!

5.The phone call friend
I'm not much a talker, so when that one friend keeps calling you, but never text, Santa Cleopatra, let's have mercy! They are the most annoying people! A text can save a lot of time!

6.The one that always eat but never seem to get any fat on...
I'm far from jealous of you (I don't get fat easily),  but please don't brag about it, not everyone is like you. Have some compassion!

7. The friend that only talks to you whenever they need something!
Alright, this is one of those people that are friends with you because you have some interest that may be good for them! They only want you close to them so they can take advantage of you. I'm far from being a fan of those people! Please back off if you are one of those people! We don't need that negativity in our lives.

And finally 8... That one friend who always have those stupid jokes!
I don't mind jokes, but I take a lot of it seriously and personally. I cannot take a joke and laugh it, I don't know, maybe it's just me, I've got a different humour than Americans so it might be the "why". Then again, some people just take it to the next level...

There's obviously a lot more type of friends, but these are the ones I encountered a lot more! Trust me when I say that you cannot believe how many friends are actually fake. The only way you might figure out who is nice and who isn't is for you to be in huge trouble. Then you'll see who's there for you!

"The language of friendship is not words but meanings." - Henry David Thoreau

~Bella