Monday 27 February 2017

Middle of the Bed from Lucy Rose...




Middle of the Bed by Lucy Rose

I sleep in the middle of the bed
You don't know, is it fine to hold my hand?
I sleep in the middle of the bed
Sun slips through my cold hands

Do you really want me back?
Do you really want me back?

Cause I'm over it, over you
All over the town they say I love you
I'm over it, I'm over you
All over the town
They say I love you, yeah
They say I always will
They say I love you, yeah
These wounds, they won't heal

I talk to myself at night
Better still when the lights are turned out 
I talk inside my head
Better if nobody knows what I said

Do you really want me back?
Do you really want me back?

Cause I'm over it, over you
All over the town they say I love you
I'm over, I'm over you
All over the town
They say I love you, yeah
They say I always will
They say I love you, yeah
These wounds, they won't heal

It's all over the town
You're spreading the rumors
It's all over the town
You're spreading the rumors

If you knew me at all
You should all know my answers
(X4)

-Fin

~Bella

Friday 24 February 2017

More questions that got asked...

I thought it was time to respond to a few other questions that people have asked me before.
Never believed people would actually ask many questions, where do you get the answers, though?
I mean, I understand how you can ask questions, got plenty of them myself, but when it comes to answers, it becomes the tricky part... Very tough part!

Here are the questions and the answers...

What is the oddest thing you do or did?

Long answer! I hate odd numbers except 5, that one is fine, but somehow, I take number 3 in consideration. For example, if I really enjoy a novel from a writer, I have to buy at least three novels from the person. I need at least three cups of coffee a day, or more, but three is the least I'll go! Don't know exactly when I realized how odd and absurd it sounded, but I started looking at patterns. It became common to my knowledge that I was indeed getting along with the number three. Then I went back to my past, childhood, I was always with my mother and brother, so three of us. I had three best friends, not just one, and at night before bedtime, I would have to listen to the same song three times before closing my eyes. Three different bedsheets, three type of tea that I absolutely love, and other little things like that. I don't know if you have to have a certain number of certain things, but it seems like I do. Funny thing is that it doesn't happen with everything, good news for me or else I'll have three pairs of the same jacket but in three different colors. Lunatic much considering I don't have a preference with any number.  I have to say it's odd enough for me so it can be odd enough for everyone.


How come you help everyone but don't let anyone help you?

Umm, I think I've answered this question before... It's easier to help others, it makes me happy to see that I was able to help, give advice and succeeded in making someone smile. It proves I can do something nice for others instead of being brutally honest. Giving my compassion, leave in the middle of a movie to cheer a friend up, or just send a little short text message is all that may take for someone to feel better, happier. I, personally, don't like to have people feel alone in a time of crisis, it's quite horrible! 

Why do you cry so much in movies?

How many of you cry in movies? Come on... Many of us cry, I ain't the only one. It proves I care about people's emotions! It shows that I do get compassionate. Crying is part of life when something sad comes on, feelings rush in, you can't control it all the time. Like in Harry Potter, I mean it's not that sad and it's action like than a drama, it's fiction, yet I managed to cry in multiple scenes. Do I regret it, no, will I cry again, yes. I'm a human being, I let it run down my face sometimes, it's not a crime.    

Where would you love to live in the future? 

I've always loved Italy, it's in my blood, but when you talk about Italy it feels like "home" more than my birth country ever felt. Italy would be my first choice, but then again I still have Ireland in my heart as well. My Celtic blood comes around once a while and reminds me that Ireland would be the best place ever for a writer, for a lover of rain and cliffs. On one side, you've got the Italian food, the wine, the hand gestures, the history, the art, the movies, the romance... On the other side, the cliffs, the sea, the green grass, the beer, another history, the unexpected traditions, the rain and wind, the laughter, the little houses... If I could, I would live half of the time in both countries. Can't always decide these such amazing decisions. Ireland, Italy... Love and mysteries! I just love both countries mostly because I've got that home feeling attached to them both, and to add up to the fairytale, I can see myself in a little house, looking out the window, watching, and writing novels. 

Have you always wanted to be a writer?

Funny thing is I never thought I would be writing a novel in a million years. Back in second grade, the teacher asked us to draw a picture of our future job. As you may imagine, each child had firemen or police officers draw on their pieces of papers, while others had teachers, doctors... Except me. I drew a tall chair for the judge and a lawyer at the bottom, looking up. I wanted to be a judge, one to specialize in children issues. Sounds insane, completely nuts, but that's what I wanted, justice. I was obsessed with laws, but also history which also made me look deeper into other subjects. Yet, I was still hooked on the law, convinced I would be able to change someone's life. When I look back, the teacher must have thought I was crazy. That dream of mine was crushed violently when I had to deal with real lawyers, and when I arrived in California. Thank you to insane money maker school, you have to spend millions to get some type of good education to become a great lawyer, or drown yourself in debt for the good major part of your life. Law in America is different from the European one, and when you think of going back to your origins, international is the only option, yet, expensive, and forget about the years you have to spend in a school. Not for me. 

What's your point on the government at the moment?



I don't think you are ready to actually hear my opinion as it may be highly different from many of you! Like to me immigrants, refugees are human beings just like you and me but with a different lifestyle. You don't have bombs destroying your house, or getting killed because you are having a religion. They are usually running away from destroyed lives to better countries who will accept them because they are nice people. But no... Now it's only money, power, being "WHITE" and rich that counts. Let's go back to late 1930's, let's go back to WWII, let's go back to fascism, racism, and sexism. It seems like history is repeating itself, the only good thing that we didn't have back then was all the new technologies that we have now. And yes, technology is nice, but let's be honest, when were political people nice? It will be used for all the wrong reasons! The world is been destroying by our doing when we will stop?

Final question,  kisses or cuddles? 

What a silly question, I'm affectionate so kisses and cuddles. What type of person did you think I was, how can I choose? It's nearly impossible! Kisses are just as enjoyable as cuddles... It's physical touch! Come on! 


I don't think you'll learn much from these little questions, and I didn't want to write novels about them, tried to keep it simple. It makes me realize that I can write about love with more ease than my own self. 

It's Friday, I didn't want another love article to end the week, but something a little more personal. 

~Bella

Wednesday 22 February 2017

Comfort food alert!!!!

I know I added too many "!" but we just can't get enough of them! Please, don't judge.

COMFORT FOOD:
Food that provides consolation or a feeling of well-being, typically any with a high sugar or other carbohydrate content and associated with childhood or home cooking.

My definition: Typically unhealthy food that becomes healthy because it makes you happy!

Comfort food is usually something that brings back memories or some type of sentimental value to someone. It could be specific to one person or to a culture itself!

My comfort food has to be multiple different things and no it isn't just one but a few...


*Tiramisu being the first top choice if I can get it, I'll get it! It may be my favourite desert and the most Italian one you could get, but eating one brings me back home. Not physically home, but it's a homey feeling that I don't want to ever lose.

*Boxty which is an Irish dish happens to be one of the most perfect comfort food there is, for me obviously. It's a potato dish that looks like pancakes, so Irish Potato Pancakes)... If you aren't like me and loving potatoes, then sorry, this isn't for you! 

* Runny boiled eggs and toast soldiers. It brings back your childhood. I know Europeans are good friends with this sort of dish or whatever you want to call it, but Americans, I've never really met anyone that does it, so if you do, I'm proud. :) 

*Crepes, alright, mum's crepes. She always made them for us when we were kids and still today. It's from Brittany and you can't just despise the dish, I mean you could make salty ones as well as sweet ones. You can add Nutella as well. Can't go wrong with that, but be careful, don't eat five in just fifteen minutes like me, take your time cause you'll be sure that you'll gain a pound in a day or two. 

*Fish and chips! I know very British, but I love it! I've always lived by the sea, always had some type of preference on how you call "fries", I prefer chips! Plus, I can actually finish the entire dish in one course, so whatever type of comments you going to say, I don't care, to me fish and chip are comfort food. 
  *Shortbread with tea... I couldn't get more British than this except for crumpets, maybe... I've been eating shortbread whenever I could get my hands on them, usually, it happens when I'm feeling down. It doesn't sound like a comfort food, but it is to me. 

*Vanilla gelato with a side of a chocolate cake. Don't judge just appreciate the fact that I may have a sweet tooth as well! 


I'll stop with my comfort food as I do have two or three more, but I specifically wrote down the ones that bring me "home" in a way. Everyone has their own comfort food, the ones they instantly go to when they aren't feeling well. I've known many people that go and get bags of snacks, but the unhealthy kind that now that I've written down what I go to, it's more like home cook meals, parts of it. 

Comfort food is there whenever you are feeling nostalgic or lonely, but does it change your mood? No! It makes you feel better, yes, since you are eating something you highly enjoy, your mind is preoccupied to think. When the dish or snack is over, you've eaten it all, your mind goes back to whatever stressed you out in the first place. Typically, as my definition went to, it's unhealthy food that we choose to eat because we made the unconscious thought that chocolate was to be in our life when a breakup occurs. Let me laugh, your body isn't going to be great at the end of the day. When we feel sad, we eat (some do), and not just small portions, a lot, meaning there's danger ahead. Gaining weight, gaining health issues and so on. But comfort food is comfort food and we cannot let go. It's our best friend! 


Many experiments happened, each result were similar which means that food or no food, each person can get better. Food, comfort food, does not affect our moods, but we like to think so. I like the idea that after eating what I enjoy, my comfort food, I feel better, so let's not kill the dream, et's continue to eat whatever makes believe we are better! 

"Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power, has that ability to comfort." - Norman Kolpas

~Bella

Monday 20 February 2017

Blood Brotherhoods by John Dickie

Another book, another mafia related novel. Research, sure, but mostly because I'm interested in knowing more about the secrets behind the mafia. We all know bits of it, but sadly, a lot are just speculations or untold stories. 

I thought I'd share the Preface which is quite good! 

"Once upon a time, three Spanish knights landed on the island of Favignana, just off the westernmost tip of Sicily. They were called Osso, Mastrosso, and Carcagnosso and they were fugitives. One of their sisters had been raped by an arrogant nobleman, and the three knights had fled Spain after washing the crime in blood. 

Somewhere among Favignana's many caves and grottoes, Osso, Mastrosso, and Carcagnosso found sanctuary. But they also found a place where they could channel their sense of injustice into creating a new code of conduct, a new form of brotherhood. Over the next twenty-nine years, they dreamed up and refined the rules of the Honoured Society. Then, at last, they took their mission out into the world. 

Osso dedicated himself to Saint George and crossed into nearby Sicily where he founded the branch of the Honoured Society that would become known as the mafia. 

Mastrosso chose the Madona as his sponsor and sailed to Naples where he founded another branch: the camorra. 

Carcagnosso became a devotee of the Archangel Michael and crossed the straits between Sicily and the Italian mainland to reach Calabria. There, he founded the 'ndrangheta.

BLOOD BROTHERHOODS IS A HISTORY OF ITALY'S THREE MOST FEARED CRIMINAL organisations, or mafias, from their origins to the present day. But no historian can claim to be the first person drawn towards the mystery of how the Sicilian Mafia, the Neapolitan camorra, and the Calabrian 'ndrangheta began. Mafiosi got there first. Each of Italy's major underworld fraternities has its own foundation myth. For example, the story of Osso, Mastrosso, and Carcagnosso (names that mean something like 'Bone', 'Masterbone', and Heelbone') is the 'ndrangheta's official account of its own birth: it is a tale told to Calabrian recruits when they prepare to join the local clan and embark on a life of murder, extortion, and trafficking.
As history, the three Spanish knights have about as much substance as the three bears. Their story is hooey. But it is serious, sacramental hooey all the same. The study of nationalism has given us fair warning: any number of savage inequities can be committed in the name of fables about the past. Moreover, in the course of the last 150 years, Italy's criminal brotherhoods have frequently occluded the truth by imposing their one narrative on events: all too often the official version of history turns out to derive from the mafia's myths, which are a great deal more insidious than the hokum about Osso, Mastrosso, and Carcagnosso might initially suggest. No ordinary gang, however powerful, has lasted as long as the mafias, nor has it had the same drive to control how its own past is narrated. The very fact that the mafias value history so highly betrays the outrageous scale of their ambition. 

Mafia history is filled with many outrages much worse than this. Acts of appalling ferocity are the most obvious. The mafia's cruelty is essential to what they are and what they do: there is no such thing as a mafia without murder, nor has there ever been. Yet violence is only the beginning. Through violence, and through the many tactics that it makes possible, the mafias have corrupted Italy's institutions, drastically curtailed the life chances of its citizens, evaded justice, and set up their own self-interested meddling as an alternative to the courts. So the real outrage of Italy's mafias is not the countless lives that have been cruelly curtailed - including, very frequently, the lives of the Mafiosi themselves. Nor is it even the livelihoods stunted, the resources wasted, the priceless landscapes defiled. The real outrage is that these murderers constitute a parallel ruling class in southern Italy. They infiltrate the police, the judiciary, local councils, national ministries, and the economy. They also command a measure of public support. And they have done all this pretty much since the Italian state was founded in 1861. As Italy grew, so too did the mafias. Despite what Fascist propaganda has led many people to believe, the criminal fraternities survived under Mussolini's regime and even infiltrated it. They prospered as never before with the peace and democracy that have characterised the period since 1946. Indeed, when Italy transformed itself into one of the world's healthiest capitalist economies in the 1960s, the criminal organisations became stronger, more affluent and more violent than ever. They also multiply and spread, spawning new mafias and new infestations in parts of the national territory that had hitherto seemed immune. Italy is a young country, a modern creation, and the mafias are one of the symptoms of modernity, Italian style.
Today, in the areas of Italy where criminal power is strongest, it constitutes nothing short of a criminal regime. In a secret dispatch from 2008 that found its way onto theWikileaks site, the United States Consul General in Naples reported on Calabria. One might quibble with one or two of his statistics, but the core of the diagnosis is as true as it is dispiriting:

 The n'drangheta organized crime syndicate controls vast portions of [ Calabria's] territory and economy and accounts for at least three percent of Italy's GDP (probably much more) through drug trafficking, extortion, and usury... Much of the region's industry collapsed over a decade ago, leaving environmental and economic ruin. The region comes in last of the politicians we met on a recent visit were fatalistic, of the opinion that there was little that could be done to stop the region's download ingeniously suggested that organized crime is no longer a problem... No one believes the central government has much if any, control of Calabria, and local politicians are uniformly seen as ineffective and/or corrupt. If Calabria were not part of Italy, it would be a failed state."

"Secret societies have existed among all people, savage and civilized... It is beyond question that the secret societies of all ages have exercised a considerable degree of political influence..." - Manly Hall in "The Secret Destiny of America"

~Bella

Friday 17 February 2017

UPDATES: On These Two Adorable Little Ones

Sasha and Malia are finally getting used to the family and the place which is all new for them, still...

Yes, I know the names are like Obama's daughters, we didn't choose these names so no judgments. They are just names! It's actually cute, at least I find it adorable!

I thought I would share a little more photos than usual and less writing. There isn't much to explain except the fact that Sasha, the little gray one, happens to be the most annoying, scratchy little one, everyone in the family calls me the little Bella. We kind of are alike in similar ways, except that she is a kitten while I'm a human being. Strange enough, I don't find it insulting, after all, Sasha is my favorite! Malia on the other side is quieter, less active, more into hiding space like under beds or even couch. Smart and not as social as Sasha which is alright, I mean different personalities. Tougher to hold, and a little more bashful in a way. Amazingly pretty, even a friend of mine has been asking to give up her to him. Right, like it will happen.... Hahaha

So here are some photos of the little ones, trying to get Malia on pictures, but it's quite a task that I haven't perfected yet. It will happen, not now, though. Sorry...




"Behind every great person, there is a great cat."

~Bella








Wednesday 15 February 2017

Let's just laugh at this...

You know that moment when a young man hugs you whenever he sees you and throws some mixed messages, some vibes? You know that moment when you come into someone's life and it just had to be at the wrong time but get attached either way?

Funny thing is that these situations had happened to me during the same time, or around the same time. A couple of days difference. When I'm writing about it, all I want to do is throw up and forget about it all, but I can't! Humans can't forget that easily especially when love gets in the way. The more I see it, the more I'm growing up, the more I express myself, the more I get hurt, the more I see that humans aren't at all nice. Either we use people for interest or just because we are in need of just love itself. 
We accept the love we think we deserve but do we really end up being in a healthy relationship? Do we end up in love with the person? Are we actually always happy? Sometimes, we deserve a whole lot more than what we may believe. Love blinds us, literally, we can't see the flaws, the horrible facts that the other person is just dragging us down completely. We look for ways to believe in the relationship, we try to make excuses and try and try until we are too tired to even bother anymore. Yet, when will that tired day come? When will we realize that this isn't for us? It may take weeks, months, years. All the time you are spending trying to fix something that isn't capable of changing, you are missing out on the opportunity of real, deep love, the one that is innocent, sweet, caring, and beyond wonderful, all this because you believe you can fix what's unfixable. We look too much when really, it's right behind you, ready to catch you before you fall, but instead, we trust the girl instead of the woman! 

There's a quote that I came across earlier this year,  "The problem is women think he will change, he won't. And men make the mistake of thinking she will never leave, she will." I'm a young woman, I had been in relationships before, long lasting and not so long ones. The quote is true, as a woman, I've assumed that I could make the guy change his mind on a few things, it failed quickly, and the guy never changed. You can't change anyone even if you try your hardest, I wouldn't change for your pretty eyes (unless it's an amelioration of my personality for ex: less caring or less annoying)... It takes two to tango, in a relationship, there are two people. If one of you sacrifice your love for cats and the other doesn't sacrifice anything at all; if one listens to your issues and the other don't bother helping you out with anything, then why are you still trying to save something? Give me some explanation to this catastrophe! I want to understand why people keep fighting for a lost cause, keep fighting for someone who wants to play around while you want to be stable! Why? Why is this always the case? Why do we go for what we know instead of the unknown which will be better anyways...? We are afraid of repeating the past, it's not the future that is scary, it's the past, it's the mistakes, but you are in control of your own destiny so why not take the chance to have something real instead of fighting, constantly with someone who isn't worth your time, your love?! And for the man believing she won't leave, dude, give up on that! A woman can leave you! We are stronger than you think, there's plenty fish in the water, you aren't the only one, and if you are too arrogant to see it, you may end up losing her. I know I can leave a guy, so can my mother even for love. So watch out instead of being too confident, you may lose something worth your while by wasting your time on someone who doesn't deserve you or because you play around too much that she will get tired and leave you helpless! 

My last breakup was painful like most of them. I saw it coming and I kept telling myself 'It's going to be over, start getting rid of these feelings before it's too late before you will get hurt a little too much. Handle it before you lose your entire self.' I prepared myself because I saw it coming, it was too much to bare at first, and I cried a bit. No feelings came rushing in, it felt like I was empty, numb, like I was no one, anyone. Terrible way of dealing with this situation. When you breakup you are supposed to cry to let your frustration out, or drink away, party, but crying is part of the process. Yet, all I had was that emptiness that wouldn't leave. It took a good month to feel again, it's not like I was over the guy, tough when you've got his name on you, tattooed. I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't cry much, that I would be empty instead of experiencing every feeling. I'm over him now, I learned a lesson, and I'm better. At the time, I thought he was the one, that my feelings were real, but when I look back when I met this new guy, I realized that I was wrong all this time. I never knew what love felt like until that one person opened my eyes. It only took me one simple phrase for me to get attached. One simple thing. Yet, I'm still here writing about how painful love can be. The breakup did a lot more damage than I could ever think. My self-esteem when down hill quickly, faster than anything else. Today, I'm lucky enough to work in front of amazing guys that boost me up, hug me and let me annoy them. Seems like it's nothing but to me, it means the world. They may all be married or in a relationship, but they are still here trying to make me feel all good about myself, make me believe that I am worth a lot more than what I get. Deserve a lot more than I can think. 

 "When you love someone more than they deserve, you will always end up with more pain than you deserve."

Imagine you have met a great person with amazing qualities. Knows how to talk, and yet seems innocent as well. That person may or may not be taken, you are unsure of it, so you go along, and see what happens. This person, on the other hand, ends up hurting you anyways... They choose the wrong person to play around with, they choose you instead of someone else. 

Don't start blaming anyone in this situation, it's no one's fault. Love happens, feelings come around and don't leave this easily. This position that you put yourself into isn't one to be proud of, to be ashamed of either. It could be simple, yet it's complex! If you are a hopeless romantic like me, there is no way in hell that you will control these feelings that kept rushing in as soon as you heard that one phrase, the one you've been wishing someone has said for a long, long time! Mixed messages happened, affection happened, and you fell for it like always. I don't believe I've learned anything from my past relationship because I still hope, have faith in love when all it has done for me is putting me into this horrible situations. I shouldn't be all lovey anymore, yet here I am believing in love, the real love. Why? Well because this time it actually felt real instead of a crush. Somehow, I messed it all up once again and lost everything because that's me. I'm starting to really believe in this family curse on the women. None of the women in my family deserve any deep love with amazing guys except a few, but if you look at my mother or even my deceased grandmother (she didn't have much luck either). It looks like there is a circle between us three that keeps us from getting the one real love. Sounds nuts when I'm typing this all down, I sound pathetic, to be honest... Sorry! 

Love is something that no one will entirely comprehend. It's not something that can be touched, it can only be feel. We believe we know how it feels, but we aren't 100% sure until the day you actually feel it yourself. It's not something I can personally describe, I did feel something different from the others, I'm positive of it, a rush in my stomach, couldn't keep my anxiety in control, it was just perfect yet, here I am typing how destructive a hopeless romantic is. We make up scenarios in our heads, we believe it's the one, then get hurt! We put everything for that person, we could give up literally anything for that person, yet the pain comes around anyways because there are two people in a relationship, not just one! Instead of letting go, we are too busy holding on to the things we aren't supposed to hold on to, so we end up thinking that's what we deserve; when in reality what you deserve is right behind you or just in front of you just hiding behind the one that keeps you from looking straight ahead. 

Throughout the relationships I had, there's one thing that keeps popping up to me, almost every day. 
You could be with someone, sleep next to someone, but don't talk to each other anymore like the two of you are just strangers now. Sometimes, we are afraid of letting go, make the first move, to give up something familiar to get better, to be happy. You can be determined, stubborn like me. I'm a little too stubborn, determined, and I do not forgive people, yet I learned that without giving up, be flexible or open-minded, and forgive at times, the relationship is lost! Without you being in control of your own emotions or beliefs, the relationship is just a lost cause. Being a couple takes work, from both parties, not just one, and if you see that you've been trying but they don't, give up. You aren't going to be a loser, they aren't going be hurt that much, and you'll be much happier because then you'll be able to experience real love instead of fake love! 
There is a song that describes this in the most beautiful way possible, and somehow I always end up crying like a baby on it. I would recommend you watch it, listen to the lyrics and try to understand because you'll see that without communication, trust, or anything, the relationship becomes a living nightmare! 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUWrcFpmI5U

If you see that the relationship won't go anywhere, break up, move on to better. What's a couple of days of crying when you can have years of full on happiness with someone else? 

"Often it is the most deserving people who cannot help loving those who destroy them."- Hermann Hesse

~Bella

Tuesday 14 February 2017

Red Face by Lucy Rose...


Red Face from Lucy Rose

I don't care
What the people may say
Cause it's just the sun
Rising again

So I'll take a trip
To the back of my mind
See what is there
What will I find

Cause you've got trouble searching for you
And you said: "Everything will be the same."
Look here, everything is gonna change
And you said: "It's what I needed."
I don't believe it 

I don't care
What the people may say
Cause it's just the sun
Rising again

So I'll take a trip 
To the back of my mind
See what is there
What will I find

Cause you've got trouble searching for you
And you said: "Everything will be the same."
Look here, everything is gonna change
And you said: "It's what I needed."
I don't believe it

Take what you wanted
Leave what you didn't need

-Fin

~Bella

Friday 10 February 2017

The Book Of Symbol 9...

Shape-Shifting

In the very earliest time, when both people and animals lived on earth, 
a person could become an animal if he wanted to and an animal 
could become a human being.
Sometimes they were people and sometimes animals and sometimes animals and there was no difference.
All spoke the same language. That was the time when words were like magic.
The human mind had mysterious powers.
...
Nobody could explain this: That's the way it was. 
- Translated from Inuit by Edward Field

Encompassing both dangerous borderline confusion, and the transcendent experience of the essential unity of being, shape-shifting symbolizes psyche in flux and the coincident psychology of altered states of consciousness. The world is interconnected and always changing; that is their magic. Shamans, tricksters, witches, jinns, druids, gods and heroes with an affinity for "deconstruction and reconstruction" share the ability to separate and regroup elements of a psychological process, ultimately in service of renewal.
This human-animal composite may depict the
supernatural kinship of human and animal
that is experienced in the ecstatic trance of shamanism. Rock
painting by the Sun Bushmen, South Africa.

This is expressed in the ancient and ubiquitous belief in humanity's power to change into animals at will or at junctures in the cycles of nature. This can be actual bodily change or passage of the soul into an animal, while the human body remains in an altered state of awareness, asleep or in dream time. Werewolves and witches' familiars exemplify this ritual assumption of animal instinct, as do shamans and practitioners of altered trance-states. In one image were-jaguar rises in the ecstatic trance of shamanism, partaking in the unity of human and beast (Furst, 68ff). Herein, one can accomplish the seemingly impossible: stalk lovers as did Zeus in swan or bull form (EoR, 13:225), or escape enemies by transforming into magical salmon or selkies of Celtic myth. One might become invisible, or create strategic confusion or deception like Native American trickster Coyote, or experience elements hostile to humans: air, fire, and water. The Norse Odin obtained unusual information from the Otherworld as a bird. The Celtic hero Cuchulainn transformed himself into a raging beast to fight more effectively for his countrymen. A less threatening and more usual shift is into the West African "bush-soul," one's animal spirit. Although part of the amoral, nonrational psyche, which escapes the ethics of relatedness, shape-shifting carries responsibility and consequences. Wounds suffered in the animal body are thought to be reproduced correspondingly in the restored human body.
Drawn during his confinement in the psychiatric
clinic of Heidelberg, the art metalworker Franz Karl
Buhler may have depicted the permeability of identity and the shape-shifting 
of the inner world, most pronounced during mental illness. The Prinzhorn Collection, 1900-16, Germany.

Unlike metamorphosis, in shape-shifting, there is no progressive development, but a fluid slide into one or another aspect of the psyche; temporary, protean and intended to hide as much as to reveal. Unlike complete transformation, shape-shifting doesn't alter essentials but portrays the pluralistic, polymorphic, "alternative reality" of what exists. In fact, shape-shifters have an antipathy to the "truth" of a static form, preferring dark, mercurial permanence and object constancy. "Catch me if you can," says the shape-shifters and the hero's task are often just that; wresting meaning and consciousness from the flux of psychic process. Proteus, the "Old Man of the Sea,"  was sought by heroes because of his gift for prophecy. He assumed every conceivable form in order to elude their grasp until caught and held fast assumes multiple forms to avoid marriage to a mortal. But King Peleus manages to secure her, symbolizing an exchange and binding of power. 
The jaguar, lord of the forest, and Olmec ruler or 
priest rise to reveal their supernatural kinship in the sacred
turmoil of ecstatic shamanism, Olmec, 900-300 B.C.E., Mexico.

Shape-shifting has a transcendent dimension as well, both dark and light. A deceptive union was central to the birth of King Arthur of Britain, when Merlin gave Uther Pendragon the form of Ygranne's husband, tricking her and conceiving the beloved Once and Future King. Many creatures from the "dark side"- ghosts, demons, comic-book heroes like Spiderman, even Satan himself- are shape-shifters, symbolizing depth experience, compensating the rational psychological attitude. In the supremely popular Harry Potter series young wizards-in-training learn shape-shifting spells in their quest for knowledge rather than for propitiation of the nonrational psyche. The Hindu gods Vishnu/Krishna were prodigious shape-shifters assuming numerous avatars in their battle with evil. And the Greek Tiresias and Dionysus shape-shift into female form, knowing the mystery of love and eros as the Other (EoR, 13:226-8).
"In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God... and the word was made flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld his glory," begins the Gospel of John. In the sacred tradition of Taoism, the path to liberation is also a form of eternal shape -shifting, following a path of endless change, at one with the flux of existence (EoR, 13:227).
Affronted at being ordered to marry a mortal, the sea-goddess 
Thetic attempts to escape by turning successively into fire, water,
lion, and serpent. King Peleus wrestling Thetis, by Peithinos, painting at the bottom
of a cup, 6th century B.C.E., Greece.


The image of shape-shifting suggests that life always eludes stasis; the more alteration and myriad forms of life are revealed. A mythopoetic acknowledgment of experience with no boundaries, distinctions or forms, the image expresses possibilities, potentials, demons and shadows, the protean aspect of the psychological process. Those who retain this underworld initiation-mystics, shamans, healers, sorcerers, devils and the mentally ill- inspire both awe and fright as shape-shifting both expresses and threatens the very nature of our being.

-Bella


Wednesday 8 February 2017

Pinches, Yells, Hits, Cuddles, Little I Love You...

Happy Birthday To My Little Brother
Who Turned 17 Years Old!

One of my brothers is now 17 years old. Almost considered an adult, and yet I still see him as a baby... I know parents have the feeling, but I'm close to my brother and I can't see him as an adult yet! I'm not ready for it! Seventeen years of age isn't a big deal, I've gone through it a couple years ago, it didn't change who I was, stayed the same!

Emi, little Emi... He is taller, stronger and amazing, but before I'm telling you all about how wonderful he is... Let's talk about how he was as a kid, because, if you have siblings yourself, you'll know that it's a love/hate relationship that goes on and on.

We grew up together, raised by my mum, and the friends we had were siblings themselves. So my best friend had a sister who happened to be my brother's age and his best friend. Cute, right?
Emilian was a silent little-introverted person who loved to play around with his friends, make up songs, pretend to eat spiders so they would end up being Spider-man. He wanted to work with cows when an adult even invented a name for his future job. Thanks to the countryside, we didn't have much to do than being at my friend's house which had a farm with animals. I don't know how much time we spent there between helping with the animals, looking for hiding spots, and run around with the dogs at their grandparents' house.

My brother and I had to go through a lot together, he mostly saw the good, thanks to his optimistic side. I may have to protect him a lot more than I should have, but that's how we became stronger. We are a team with a bunch of fights, an incredible amount of insults thrown out just because we are pissed at each other... But at the end of the day, when my dear brother has to go back in Europe, I can't stop worry, text him even if he barely reads any of them.

Siblings have an odd relationship where each one of them has a certain role, a certain task around the house. I'm the oldest, more responsibilities than everyone, and Emilian happens to be the "middle" child. There's a big gap between the youngest one so he is pretty much a youngster.
Without saying anything, you have to realize that my brother happens to be very closed to communication, he barely talks and would prefer to talk to people he feels comfortable with.

All I know is that without my brother to bug around, yell out, I would be quite lonely! I'm proud of having a little genius like him as my brother, I wouldn't exchange him in millions of years. 

I love you

~Bella

Monday 6 February 2017

Valentine's... Love is coming soon enough...

Happy early Valentine's Day to all of you, couples, the ones who are in serious relationships! 

The day is coming soon, people are trying to get gifts, little notes, letters ready for their loved ones. I've already seen many of you stress out on the streets, rushing to get the next little present before the 14th. 
What should I buy? Will they like it? Is it enough or should I get something else as well? Bigger or smaller present? Which bra should I get her? 

Questions like this come up often, a little too often as we are approaching the date. 

Valentine's Day is the lovers day. A day where people get each other presents, letters, flowers, chocolates... To me, it's just a day where every store is on sale, where everyone show how much they care about the other person. A beneficial day for every retailers out there as everyone or almost everyone is buying something. Small or big, it doesn't matter much! 
But...
Let's take a moment to realize something important, small to many of you, but very important! 

Do we really need this 14th of February to show the person you care about how much you love them? Do we need this date to give them a little gift, flowers, a little love letter, a poem? 

Why waiting for the 14th to make the relationship special when you've got the rest of the time to prove them how much you love them every single day?
You are in a relationship with the one you care about, deeply care, and you wait for the 14th to make something special? In order to grow into a special, unique, wonderful, strong relationship with your loved one, little everyday things are important! Surprised dinner, warming a bath up for the both of you, flowers just because you thought they were beautiful for them, a mixtape of all the songs you danced to throughout the times you were together on her/his birthday... 

Sometimes,  I think I'm a little too romantic....
If you are in a relationship and you want to build, create memories, being strong, powerful to overcome anything that is thrown down your path, trying to destroy everything you created together, you need more than wait for the 14th of February. Communicate, throw a little text message "I love you" at lunchtime for them to read on their break. Cook dinner, take your time to make something special for the person you love every once in a while. Don't overdue it as it may get boring and not as special overtime. Show that you care about their opinion as much as you care about your own. Relationships takes time, but it's possible and to me, you don't need the 14th of February to show it! 

Ask questions when you aren't sure about something, it's normal not to always understand, you're human! 
Stop with the "I", start the "we". A relationship means two people, you aren't alone anymore, think for two instead of just yourself. Selfishness can happen, sometimes we just a night out with friends, alone, but remember, being selfish all the time won't help the relationship grow! 
Don't judge, try to understand, be compassionate and look at your partner for support! Vice Versa!
Being in touch with yourself like asking yourself if you really love your partner before going into a serious relationship!
Talk about EVERYTHING, the worse, the things you don't want to talk about! Don't shut yourself out just because ignore the facts make you feel better! Being in touch with everything, emotions, feelings are important!

Now, Valentine's Day is coming up, and no matter what my opinion is, I will see a lot of couples giving presents to each other. I will see a lot more teddy bears than expected, and hopefully, everyone will have a bright smile on their faces. Being sad on the 14th isn't such a pleasure to see... If you are
one to not really know what to get your partner, remember that no matter what they should like it, sometimes the smallest of things are the special ones. Then again, I've seen how difficult some women or girls can be.. GOOD LUCK GUYS! 



"When you are in love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams." 

~Bella