Harbour Street - Ann Cleeves

This Award-Winning Author of Raven Black has a new book, Harbour Street, and I couldn't be happier.

Finished it in two weeks, and the saddest part of the book was when I had to set it down.

I first learned about Ann Cleeves when I started watching "Shetland" a Scottish TV show. Based on her book series, I fell in love with the plots, the intrigued behind every mystery, and the unexpected criminals. So I looked into her biography, the books she wrote, and the Vera Stanhope mystery show which I started to watch.

So when I went to my bookstore, I looked around the Thriller, Crime area when I came upon her book, the only one on the shelf. You cannot image how excited I was when I took over the novel of the shelf, started reading the back and the last phrase of the story... " Vera got into Hector's Land Rover and set off alone for the hills." 

Seems like a normal phrase to half of you but to me, it's the last thing of the story, the mystery, and since it's my first book of hers, I wanted to check it out fast, read it quickly to check out the what she was all about. 

"The shouts and laughter of Christmas revelers follow detective Joe Ashworth and his daughter Jessie as they board the crowded Metro. But when the train stops, Jessie notices that one lady hasn't gotten off: Margaret Krukowski has been fatally stabbed. Retracing Margaret's final steps, Detective Inspector Vera Stanhope keeps asking herself one big question: Why are the residents of Harbour Street so reluctant to speak? What secret do they keep that leads to murder? "
Harbour Street, number six of the series followed by The Moth Catcher and preceded by The Glass Room. Ann truly made the whole mystery a real one. Between the lies, the secrets, the families living in a small fishermen's town, and the backstory of the victim's past been unbelievably well structured. It definitely makes me wonder how did this author manage to get every detail so intriguing to readers.

The victim has been an elderly woman who finds herself stabbed on a packed train before Christmas time. Why would anyone want to kill an elderly woman who works for a family, spends her free time in a shelter for troubled women? Famous detective Vera Stanhope comes in town, searching for answers, talking everyone who could be related to the victim, but she stumbles against many issues. Doesn't take lots for a little village to talk, to hide the past and keep quiet, lie. Many questions come to life as Vera tries to find relatives of the victim, not finding any, but finding out a lot more than just a sad past relationship.

Little villages always find a way for rumours, little secrets, and if something has to disappear, oh, you know it will because despite having rumours, people won't talk to police officers. So when I started reading the story, I pictured old lasses getting a bit too chatty and the outcast who barely speaks to anyone. Now, picturing every bit of each character, the places,  the smell of snow and rain, hearing the sound of snowflakes and boots trying to get around town. Cleeves did manage to get every detail in order for you to have a clear image of everything that is going on in the novel. 

If you are into crime, mystery and a bit of a fan of secrets, please read her books, even if I only read one, I know deep down, she has an amazing potential and not enough credit! 

"We don't often notice the people who look after us, do we? Though we'd miss them if they weren't there." -Ann Cleeves, Harbour Street

~Bella

Women... What We Think and What We Have to Admit...

Us, women, have issues with the why and how a man just cannot be into us. We make up excuses to defend a person that shows no interest in us, whatever the case may be.

Men know how to use a phone, cell phone, no worries on that. A simple text message, a call doesn't take the entire day. Sure, they can be busy, but come on now, drop the bullshit, the bloody idiotic excuse that you keep on telling yourself. They can find some time for you in their crazy day. Cell phones is a genius invention, saves us lots of precious time, and yet we still manage to keep excusing people for not calling. If we can butt dial a person, we can take two minutes of our day to message. The worst part is when they promise or tell you that they will call later, but doesn't call or message whatsoever. Please give yourself credit, you deserve a lot more than this piece of garbage that doesn't bother talking to you at all. Forgetting to call you excuse... Give me a break, he hasn't because he is not into you. The only way someone could deserve such an excuse is somehow that person had an emergency, someone close died, or car accident and they are in the hospital, or natural disaster suddenly broke out and managed to mess up the internet/connection. Usually, if someone is interested in you, they will contact you a way or another... Forgetting isn't a good excuse, forget that and not the person!

Men know how to be sober around their family members, their bosses, their friends, so they can be sober around you! Indeed, drinking and eating are fun... I mean who doesn't like to party, sometimes, a drink is just for the fun of it, but it's not a necessity. Yes, at times, we need to unwind from a long, hard day of work, but if it's the only moment they reach out to you, compliments you or give you affection, then that's the wrong guy, he doesn't care much. He is just not that into you. Anyone can drink just like anyone can be sober. Don't let your desire to be loved and feel affection cloud your judgment. Alcohol doesn't make a person, just because they act normally after taking five shots of tequila or smoked weed before going to bed, doesn't mean a thing! The substance is still there! A bad boy is a bad boy, they aren't serious and you deserve better!

Men know how to touch you, quite easy if you ask me! They are great at using certain parts of their bodies while that brain of theirs, not so much! If a man likes you, he will kiss you! Then he will most likely imagine what you look like in your undies. That's how men work... No logic into that but that's how it is and there's nothing to do about it! You had sex, plenty times but he had stopped. You have been seeing each other for about two months now and he stopped... It doesn't happen unless it's not working out for him. Too many excuses are given to people who fear intimacy, commitment. There are many people reading about the specific subject, others got to therapy to understand themselves. Fear happen, but if yu truly like someone, the fears should disappear, eventually... Then there are the men who don't have sex with you at all, preferring to eat ice cream, popcorn and watch movies all night long, each time you see each other. I mean sure once in a while, but if it's all the bloody time, he is either homosexual or just not into you. Being happy without doing anything is alright as long as it is not each time. Even as a long-term relationship, things do slow down, but it never stops! It's considered a gift, a joy, and everyone should enjoy it, have the right to have a fantastic sex life.

Women have a hard time seeing what's obvious, they hope for the best when clearly, the man doesn't care as much as the woman wanted him to. No interest in them whatsoever. He is just not into you! It doesn't matter if the person might seem interested, if he is, everything will be about you, messages would come along more often than expected, and they would ask you out for dinners, cinemas...They will bring you closer towards them instead of letting you go off in your own ways. Women keep hoping for things that will never come around; when a man isn't interested it's obvious, but we are blinded by the faith that he might, just slightly, might like us, be interested in us...

There's a movie which came out a few years back about how men were not into women and vice versa. Chick flick for sure, no doubt about that, but it was a good slap because even though I might see the obvious thing, know how men may act most of the time, it's still complicated to know when it's concerning me. I still keep a little place in my heart for some hope which may never come.
Women are quite different from men, Mars vs. Venus! We've always been interested in knowing how we both think, but both genders have their faults and truths. Are we suppose to change who we are? No! It's who we are, how our hormones work, and sadly, all we can do is understand one another in order to make it work!

" Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember."- Albert Einstein

~Bella

Top 20 questions for dates...

Dating is tough, but getting to know someone at a deeper level is even more difficult! Sometimes, we don't always know what to ask the other person who may be staring right at us, making us speechless...
As nuts as it sounds, some people just don't know what to ask in order to know more about a person... On dates, or even if it's just to know a friend, questions may not come up to you all the sudden. I know I've gone through it before, even got blocked by the person who kept watching me. Feeling uncomfortable enough to lose my thoughts.

I thought I would make a list of twenty questions you may ask your date.

• What is the one thing you would change about yourself?
• What would you do if your parents didn't like your partner?
• Have you ever lost someone close to you before?
• What's your ideal weekend?
• Would you follow your partner if they had to move away?
• Do you believe in second chances?
• What's your idea of a perfect vacation?
• Do you have a bucket list? Did you already cross a few things out?
• What is the craziest thing you ever done and would you do it again?
• If a genie granted you three wishes, what would you wish for?
• What's your biggest regret in life?
• If you could go back in time, would you ever go back and change the past?
• Are you close to your family? If not, why?
• Would you still be friend with an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife?
•  Do you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl?
• What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
• What is a family tradition that you will give to your kids if you ever have some?
• What do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn?
• If you won $1 million, what would you do with it?
• What is your greatest achievement so far?

Questions come up easily if the conversation with the other person is nice enough for you to continue talking to one another. Now, I know how it can be at times, blanks, silence come up. Then, we don't always find the right question to ask to someone in order to know more about them, sometimes the words don't show up. You freeze in place, a lack of communication overcome you, and you don't talk, you don't ask. Finally, fears occurs, making it difficult for everyone to simply talk, ask, afraid to figure something you don't like, afraid of the answer..."Dating" isn't something I'm used to, can't tell you how difficult it can be in front of someone new, and ask questions, getting to know someone, one by one. Easier to hangout with the person, act completely friendly... To me, dating isn't my cup of tea, going on dates seem like a waste of time, you can't ask everything in a date and then judge a person based on what they answered. Then again, you may learn a lot if you take the courage between your hands and ask. It won't kill you! 

"There is no stupid question; stupid people don't ask questions."- Olivia

~Bella

What a week...

Little post, little announcement...

As it is quite the busy day for me, I've decided to just give you an update on what will be happening in the next couple of weeks. 

First, let's start by saying I've come up with a new idea, new series that may be posted each Wednesday. I was working, and the idea came up when I realized that I may have had a few questions such as, "Does size should matter?"

Don't start imagining scenarios where I begin talking about real people! Questions like the one I stated above, do come up often, especially when it comes to LOVE! Many of us deal with the age difference, the size, the religion, political views and so on, but does it matter, should it matter... When love is around, these questions shouldn't be a bother yet if you have them, well I'll make sure to write an article with my point of view as well as others.

The series may start in April, hopefully, every Wednesday will be free for the series unless it's a special day!

Second, I'm not changing my blog anytime soon, but I will try to talk more about my novel as it is starting to come to an end. I really wanted to give a little article from now and there about the writing, the editing that I will start doing soon, the names that I had to change... I believe talking about a project, a current one may help others want to start a project of their own...

Finally, I will have a very busy Friday, I won't be to post anything unless I find the time to do so during noon, no promises, check up on Friday around mid-day. Again, family issues take a lot of time, a lot of energy, my writing may seem a little off lately, can't seem to catch my breath! Sorry again!

If you have questions, please let me know... 

~Bella

More questions that got asked...

I thought it was time to respond to a few other questions that people have asked me before.
Never believed people would actually ask many questions, where do you get the answers, though?
I mean, I understand how you can ask questions, got plenty of them myself, but when it comes to answers, it becomes the tricky part... Very tough part!

Here are the questions and the answers...

What is the oddest thing you do or did?

Long answer! I hate odd numbers except 5, that one is fine, but somehow, I take number 3 in consideration. For example, if I really enjoy a novel from a writer, I have to buy at least three novels from the person. I need at least three cups of coffee a day, or more, but three is the least I'll go! Don't know exactly when I realized how odd and absurd it sounded, but I started looking at patterns. It became common to my knowledge that I was indeed getting along with the number three. Then I went back to my past, childhood, I was always with my mother and brother, so three of us. I had three best friends, not just one, and at night before bedtime, I would have to listen to the same song three times before closing my eyes. Three different bedsheets, three type of tea that I absolutely love, and other little things like that. I don't know if you have to have a certain number of certain things, but it seems like I do. Funny thing is that it doesn't happen with everything, good news for me or else I'll have three pairs of the same jacket but in three different colors. Lunatic much considering I don't have a preference with any number.  I have to say it's odd enough for me so it can be odd enough for everyone.


How come you help everyone but don't let anyone help you?

Umm, I think I've answered this question before... It's easier to help others, it makes me happy to see that I was able to help, give advice and succeeded in making someone smile. It proves I can do something nice for others instead of being brutally honest. Giving my compassion, leave in the middle of a movie to cheer a friend up, or just send a little short text message is all that may take for someone to feel better, happier. I, personally, don't like to have people feel alone in a time of crisis, it's quite horrible! 

Why do you cry so much in movies?

How many of you cry in movies? Come on... Many of us cry, I ain't the only one. It proves I care about people's emotions! It shows that I do get compassionate. Crying is part of life when something sad comes on, feelings rush in, you can't control it all the time. Like in Harry Potter, I mean it's not that sad and it's action like than a drama, it's fiction, yet I managed to cry in multiple scenes. Do I regret it, no, will I cry again, yes. I'm a human being, I let it run down my face sometimes, it's not a crime.    

Where would you love to live in the future? 

I've always loved Italy, it's in my blood, but when you talk about Italy it feels like "home" more than my birth country ever felt. Italy would be my first choice, but then again I still have Ireland in my heart as well. My Celtic blood comes around once a while and reminds me that Ireland would be the best place ever for a writer, for a lover of rain and cliffs. On one side, you've got the Italian food, the wine, the hand gestures, the history, the art, the movies, the romance... On the other side, the cliffs, the sea, the green grass, the beer, another history, the unexpected traditions, the rain and wind, the laughter, the little houses... If I could, I would live half of the time in both countries. Can't always decide these such amazing decisions. Ireland, Italy... Love and mysteries! I just love both countries mostly because I've got that home feeling attached to them both, and to add up to the fairytale, I can see myself in a little house, looking out the window, watching, and writing novels. 

Have you always wanted to be a writer?

Funny thing is I never thought I would be writing a novel in a million years. Back in second grade, the teacher asked us to draw a picture of our future job. As you may imagine, each child had firemen or police officers draw on their pieces of papers, while others had teachers, doctors... Except me. I drew a tall chair for the judge and a lawyer at the bottom, looking up. I wanted to be a judge, one to specialize in children issues. Sounds insane, completely nuts, but that's what I wanted, justice. I was obsessed with laws, but also history which also made me look deeper into other subjects. Yet, I was still hooked on the law, convinced I would be able to change someone's life. When I look back, the teacher must have thought I was crazy. That dream of mine was crushed violently when I had to deal with real lawyers, and when I arrived in California. Thank you to insane money maker school, you have to spend millions to get some type of good education to become a great lawyer, or drown yourself in debt for the good major part of your life. Law in America is different from the European one, and when you think of going back to your origins, international is the only option, yet, expensive, and forget about the years you have to spend in a school. Not for me. 

What's your point on the government at the moment?

I don't think you are ready to actually hear my opinion as it may be highly different from many of you! Like to me immigrants, refugees are human beings just like you and me but with a different lifestyle. You don't have bombs destroying your house, or getting killed because you are having a religion. They are usually running away from destroyed lives to better countries who will accept them because they are nice people. But no... Now it's only money, power, being "WHITE" and rich that counts. Let's go back to late 1930's, let's go back to WWII, let's go back to fascism, racism, and sexism. It seems like history is repeating itself, the only good thing that we didn't have back then was all the new technologies that we have now. And yes, technology is nice, but let's be honest, when were political people nice? It will be used for all the wrong reasons! The world is been destroying by our doing when we will stop?

Final question,  kisses or cuddles? 

What a silly question, I'm affectionate so kisses and cuddles. What type of person did you think I was, how can I choose? It's nearly impossible! Kisses are just as enjoyable as cuddles... It's physical touch! Come on! 


I don't think you'll learn much from these little questions, and I didn't want to write novels about them, tried to keep it simple. It makes me realize that I can write about love with more ease than my own self. 

It's Friday, I didn't want another love article to end the week, but something a little more personal. 

~Bella

Adopted new kittens... Additions to the family!

We adopted two kittens!!!!

We've been talking about getting a kitten for quite a while now, and two days ago, we decided to go to a shelter! I've tried to get a kitten another way, but the safest and more efficient way is going to adopt a kitten in a shelter!

So we went there after my brother's school.

First, we went, we looked around, asked questions and there they were... Kittens! Now, don't think I didn't look in another direction because I did. My eyes went straight to a kitten which looked like the last one I had back in Europe! I couldn't move my eyes away from the little one. He was such a cutie, and he had been adopted! How sweet! Sad feelings came rushing in, I was beyond sad about the news!
Then, we saw these two little ones, Sasha and Malia. The one I fell in love with is gray with a little white spot, while my mum went up to the one who was sleeping, Malia. Sasha is about 7 weeks old, Malia is 2 and a half months old. Cuties if you ask me!

We had to filled documents, pay the fees, gotten lecture on how to take care of the newcomers, and so on. It's not like we were new to cats or kittens, I've grown up around a dog, cats, and chickens, around farms. I know how to deal with kittens, they aren't as difficult as children! I would know, I got to deal with the youngest of my brothers!

Anyways, Sasha and Malia are arriving, later on, today, exciting news for me as I'm working, so I'll see the little addition to the family when I get back home, later on, the evening. The excitement is beyond imaginable. I've been begging to have a kitten for so long, and instead of getting one, we ended getting two. Lucky us!

I'll make sure to post a few articles about cats, pets in general, and the experience we have with the kittens. I just wanted to share the good news, because I can't believe that I'm going to be able to give all this affection to little kittens. Yes, I know, I'm too affectionate, so I'll be able to hug less now. Good news for Pickles and Swiss guys. They should be tired of me by now but doesn't seem like it.

Keep checking up on the updates I'll make sure to post, share with you all. Having other members of the family is always a joy so... Let's hope for the best!

"Without my cat, my house would probably be cleaner and I'd probably have more money but my heart... My heart would be empty."

~Bella

Q&A time!!!!

After having, the same questions asked plenty times to me... I wanted to write the answers down and share a few of them with you! I know YouTubers do them, and I also know that you learn a lot with Q&A. 

First and the most popular question I've gotten so far: Why do you write? 

I write because it makes me feel alive. If I stop writing, I feel like I'm losing myself to reality, and that my friend is boring, too normal for me. I write because it gives me something to live for... (That has to be talked about in person...) But I've written a post about writing so if you are interested in reading more... Go ahead! 

http://onemorecupidtothelist.blogspot.com/2016/04/as-real-first-one.html

Second and far the most popular question out there, even though I've written so much about it... It still comes up : Why do you love soccer/ football so much, what is it about the game?

As I've said before, I call it football, and it's part of my culture. I was born and raised around it. The game itself is, to me at least, a sport that is about the team, about the position and how each player has a talent. I love the players, how they control the ball, how they can make the team the best. Soccer is a part of me, I used to play it with my brother all the time, my cousins, friends at school. We didn't care how bad or good we were, we were still playing. I was always a center midfielder. I ain't sure why, but it worked! So at the end of the day, it's a passion, it's a sport that makes me feel better, that makes me who I am. It's like writing, it's a part of me. Without writing or football, I would be a tiny part of me. 

Here are two posts about football that I've written before: 

http://onemorecupidtothelist.blogspot.com/2016/06/why-not-going-for-your-birth-country.html

http://onemorecupidtothelist.blogspot.com/2016/07/what-squad.html

Third question and by far the most personal one: What was your most embarrassing moment? 

It used to be very difficult to answer it as I never really been in an embarrassing moment in my life. Then, I thought about it more and more to the point of a headache. My most embarrassing moment has to be when I was at school in California for the first time! I came to America without knowing much English, I mean I had the basic down like the animals, the food, the numbers, letters... But I couldn't understand much and the speaking part was beyond explanation. I felt ashamed for speaking another language and not understanding what other kids my age would say. Only words without full sentences, I felt like a baby... Embarrassing for sure! But I grew out of it, and in high school, I was one of the students who happen to have good marks on essays! Which I'm proud of, it made me feel more confident about my writing! 

The fourth question that comes up either often is : How come you aren't in a long lasting relationship?

This one, I mean, why would you even ask, what's on your mind when you ask such a question!  I can't even answer straight away without really thinking about it. I don't want to blame everything on the guy, but I have bad luck when it comes to relationships! It's a family curse, my grandmother had a hard time with men, while my mum had terrible husbands who treated her like she was nothing. It seems like I'm following a path. Plus I've got terrible flaws, I'm complicated, and if you aren't patient or stubborn enough to make me open up, it's a lost cause. Cherry on top, being a hopeless romantic doesn't help much, I expect things to go a certain way and it fails completely, making me look like a fool in love with love itself. So to answer, a long lasting relationship will happen when I find the right person to be with and build, a person who will make me feel like I deserve a lot more than I have. I will be in a long lasting relationship when I know I'm comfortable enough to trust a man who will be a supportive and understanding person with tons of flaws that will make me love him more and more each single day! 

Fifth... Odd and personal question: How come you don't have that many friends? 

I don't know how to properly answer this question either. It's out of my control, with complete honesty, I don't know how to explain how I don't have "that" many friends. Do we need many friends? I believe that we need close friends, the ones that won't leave at important times, the ones that will be there at the toughest times. Being European in America is one of the most difficult thing ever. Foreigners in a country that is completely different from their own is difficult! I'm sure it happened to many people before me. Having a different culture, different view about love and life, being the opposite of them can be challenging. I had a tough time at school, I wouldn't want to be in just one group of people, I wanted to be friends with everyone meaning guys as well... I've always played or talked to girls and boys, so I did what I always did, talk to both genders, but it wasn't appreciated, especially with the girls. I got bullied for that. So now, friends, I can obviously count them on one hand! Real friends will always be there for you, I guess I don't have those real friends!  I don't want fake friends that will talk behind my back... 

Sixth and old question..: Why don't you come or go to parties?

Somehow this question came up a lot when I was younger when people would invite and I would cancel. I don't do well in a group of people, my anxiety doesn't allow me to be around too many people, it's scary! I feel uncomfortable, it's not pleasant, and I have to watch my back all the time just in case of something happening. I'm not a party person, I would prefer a nice quiet evening, I don't mind parties, but if I can cancel, I will. Younger, the issue of alcohol and drugs would be related to my lack of wanting to go. I've been drinking for a long time now, but I ain't like the others, I don't go and try to be as drunk as possible to the point of blacking out. It happened to me once and it was this year at a close friend's house. I knew I would be taken care of if I had too much to drink. I'm more the mother around the group of friends, who knows what to do in certain cases, who cares too much, protective and taking care of people that need it. I don't do drugs, so seeing all that, it ain't my thing! Parties in Europe are different, from what I've seen. People here will invite their friends who invite their own friends, it's nonending situation, while in Europe we kind of do that, but we ask permission before inviting others, so the parties usually end up in a small group of friends who know each other well. And we don't really need a backup person who will take care of everyone! I love parties, I will go to parties, but I'm afraid of something bad happening. I don't trust American parties, especially at my age of younger. They have no self-control whatsoever! 

Final question for the day: What made you decide to write a novel? And when it's done are you planning on writing more?

Not asked many times, but enough to make me realize that I need to share the answer with all of you! I decided to start writing a novel when I was younger! When I was six years old, I started writing my own journal, then I've never really stopped, it's when I started to write! After my parents' divorce, I was going through a really tough time, I wasn't myself, I had issues, and things happened that I ain't proud of! I begin writing about my life. The novel never had an ending or a first chapter, it was too hard to write about. I'm not ready to write my past experience. The memories and scars aren't healed yet! Then I've got my mum who also happens to write! She wrote a series of children's books, The Adventures of Enzo (that's my youngest half brother). She was my inspiration... Two years ago, I decided to write a novel about the mafia. Now don't think it's all about it, it's mostly about a family secret that reveals itself during the novel... (I'll write a post about my novel later)... My mum helped me with the construction, and I started the novel. The first year was tons of research, between phone calls, movies, TV series, newspaper articles, books. Then, this year, I really started writing a lot more! It got me through a lot of hard times. My life made me decide to write and hide away from life itself, reality. Whenever I write, I 'm part of my novel, I'm a character in the story. Now, when I finish this novel, I am planning on writing another one! I actually started writing another one, only the basics like the characters, the story itself. I want to continue writing even if I don't get published, I want to write down what's on my mind. I'm not doing it to be famous or to gain money, even though it would be great to live out of my novels, I want my writing to be out there for people. I'm going to keep on writing no matter what life throws at me! 

Hope this few questions and answers will provide you with a bit of myself. I know it's a long post, but writing about yourself isn't a paragraph! If you have any other questions, feel free to ask in the comments or message on Instagram, Facebook or whatever. I'm very open to any questions, sometimes I don't have the answer right away, but I usually do! 

"Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you." 

~Bella

Is it true or just a crush?

It's been a while since my last love advice post, I know I haven't been giving much advice, too preoccupied with other "things". So... Today, I decided to write and express my feelings towards a question that popped up really often, and it happened to me as well...

How do you know if you are in love with someone? 

Sounds difficult to know, but trust me, there're a few ways you can tell that it isn't just a crush!
Falling in love is one of the greatest, exciting but also scary thing out there. 
Loving someone is different for everybody. We love a certain way like for your family members you may love them a different way then you may love your best friend.We love

people in different ways at different times!  

So here is some ways that helped me and a few of my friends to really know if we loved or just had a simple crush on the person. 

When you wake up, it's the first person you think about! It's the first person that pops into your head when something good happens to you; you have to go tell them the news. When something terrible has happened, you seek support and comfort from that same person! 

These quotes about love being selfless and putting the love of your life above yourself?! Well, it's true, look at what Olaf from Frozen said, "Some people are worth melting for." Take this example into consideration: you are both sick in bed, but instead of leaving her/him do everything, you take charge into helping or doing everything for her/ him. Their needs become a priority, take a more important place than your own needs. 

Human beings are far from perfect, we all have flaws, look in the mirror! I, myself, have tons of flaws, being over caring is one of them! When you are in love, your lover's imperfections become qualities. You look above these little flaws, but when you are in love you accept the person's flaws and qualities. Love is the ability to accept and learn how to love imperfections (unique flaws). 

The best part of your day is when you hear from them (your special someone), and you look forward to that part of the day! They bring a smile on your face! Seeing them is better than being alone, and you prefer being with them than anyone else. 

You stay closer to the person you love when around others. You don't back away from cuddles or kisses, public affection. When in a group of people, you may go ahead and talk to someone across the room, far from your partner, but you check up on them in the corner of your eye and go back directly to them as soon. 

And finally imagine a future where the person you "love" isn't around! How will you react? Will you cry yourself to sleep at night, and dream of having them around, or will you just say, "Wasn't meant to be, there's plenty fish in the water." ? 
That simple question may answer a lot! Ask yourself questions like: 
- If something happens to them, they are at the hospital, will you rush out there or wait the next or couple days to go see how things are going?
- Do you see yourself with that person for the next year or so?
- Can you be yourself around them? (If you are yourself it means you aren't afraid to show your true self, and it means a lot more than just a crush).
- Can you go on days without talking to them or can't at all?

Don't assume these are just the ways to know, I'm sure there are other ways, don't jump to any conclusion! I'm interested in knowing what are your ways, I'm always open to opinions! 

Loving someone isn't a game, it's your feelings, emotions that are attached to that one single person! You can just not talk to them, can't just ignore them and pretend they don't exist! When you love, you do everything in your power to be there for them, to love them unconditionally, to protect them from the bad things. Now, we are humans and humans are rather stupid and blind when in love... If I were you, I would be careful on who you say I love you to...

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

~Bella

That one question that pops up every time...

So far everyone asked me if I miss my home country, Europe... All I could respond was " Sure, sometimes I do miss it."
Despite family issues, terrorist attacks, and maybe the weather that may be terrible at times, I miss a lot of things. 

Being away from what you are used to can be challenging. The funny thing is that whenever I used to go back, I didn't feel home, just like I don't feel at home in California. Almost everything is different, and it took a while to get used to everything. I don't think I'm entirely acclimated to every single difference. 
Back home, kids are allowed in bars, can't drink until the appropriate age, but they are allowed in the bar. Orange juice or hot cocoa doesn't break any rules. While here you have to wait until you are 21 years of age to enter a bar, I understand that it's the drinking age but it's exaggerating! Since I have to wait another year to go drink in a bar, I can only drink at home or with people that don't care about me drinking. That my friend is very irritating! 
The portions, food wise and the large cups? In America, the large cups are large, while back in Europe the large cup would be called a small or medium for Americans... And food portions, back home, we have smaller portions, here, the plate could be for two or three people. I'm still aren't used to it yet, maybe one day...
The humor, Santa Cleopatra, this one gets on my nerves! See I can understand and laugh at the British humor all right, but the American one, still don't quite get it. For example, I went to the movies with a friend to watch Spy with Melissa McCarthy. It was funny, no doubt about that, but while the parts that everyone laughed at, I didn't, and I laughed when no one was laughing. Pretty embarrassing if I say the least. If I drink there'll be no problem laughing at your jokes, but other than that, I either don't get them or don't find them funny. Then people think I'm weird and have no sense of humor, b****, please. 
I like eating burgers, good ones, I don't mind them at all, but I can't eat multiple ones in a month. I'm more the European type of food, you know the ones that don't really get you fat much. I prefer cooking at home anyways, but the food is rather different. Like here, I can't eat red meat, or too much of it or else I have lower back pain. The first time that happened, I didn't think of the meat, and then I saw a pattern later on, plus my dear mother has the same issue so, not fun. 
Sports as you can already tell with my past posts, FOOTBALL is soccer, but we don't call it soccer, that's weird for us! Plus we have rugby to replace American football... Which in my opinion is probably worse cause there is no helmets or real protection so you see more blood, broken nose and pass on the rest. On the positive side, while Americans love your football, we love ours. I still need a partner that knows about football or at least played or something related because, to be honest, I can't stand watching baseball, American football or even basketball. I do ice hockey pretty well, but then again the best teams are Canadian teams hahaha. 
You know the sweet that you chew on for hours, the one you call "GUM", well Europeans even BRITISH people call it "chewing gum". No, you guys had to cut the word in half to be different! I was born in a country where chewing gum would be used, so I have a hard time just not say chewing gum. 
My point of view when it comes to love and life can be quite different, and misunderstood by many people. If I want to be friends or being in a relationship with someone, I need to either find someone open minded who traveled around, or a European so I can talk about everything without fighting or being judged. This one has some exceptions! I've got out with Americans before and it usually goes fine, but it's true, I have a harder time with them. Don't ask why, it's just a different culture, values, and point of views. 
Since I was on the topic of friends, let's talk about that for a little... I can count the real ones on my hand. Very few will be Americans... :( When you first come into a foreign country, you tend to shy away from everyone since you don't know how to act around them. That's what happened to me the first two years, first the language barrier, then I was "different". I would hang out with guys without any problems, then would come back to the girls, but it wasn't liked. They disagree on the fact that I could be friend with everyone and made me choose... That is not cool! Then you meet new people, nice and warm is the first impression you get. Most the time! Americans are quite warm people at the beginning, it's rather welcoming, I love it, it was the opposite back in my home country. In Europe, some countries, people are more on their guard, less warm or welcoming, they don't trust easily. Could be seen rude, I think French people hold that title... Anyways, Europeans tend to take their time in making friends because they want real friendships, the one that you can count on in any situation, while here, from what I've seen... They want friends, tons of them, they want to be acknowledged, will say 'Let's go out again soon' but then nothing, they disappear on you. That's just very odd for me, and that I ain't used to. Don't think I'm against Americans, far from it! My best friend is an American and I have an amazing friend who is also American!

The others are either European or have some European origins. 
The last point I want to make is me being brutally honest. I keep a lot to myself nowadays, though, it is sometimes hard to keep it in! I've always been honest, it started back when I was 3 or so years old. I had a grand-grandfather who smoked a lot and had tubes in his throat, he couldn't talk much, and for me, it was just disturbing. Whenever I would see someone with a cigarette in their hand or be smoking it, I would come up to them, stand tall (ok laugh, I wasn't tall, but I felt tall), and would finally tell them, "You are going to have a hole in your throat like my grand-grandfather." Imagine a little 3 years old going up to you, telling you that you will end up with a hole in your throat? Sounds funny, but people would look at me like  "What the ..." Pretty embarrassing time for my mother. I'm sorry she had to deal with me and still dealing with me. I feel bad for them, but hey, I was young and told the truth! When I came here, I realized that people would prefer to keep their mouth shut instead of saying what they have in their mind, they prefer to be hypocrites. They don't like to hear the truth! For some odd reason, I find it easier, to be honest in front of someone European. I ain't complaining and I comprehend why Americans are like that, but I wasn't raised around that. I'm getting used to it, though, keep things to myself, but if I don't like, you will either see it on my face or I'll just tell you directly... And I still don't care if you like it or not! Seems easier to make enemies here. It's like when we talk about politics, they want to hear my point of view, but they won't like it and tell me I'm wrong and that I shouldn't answer. First of all, I hate politics, the government sucks almost everywhere, it's corrupted. A bunch of lies is made up to make the citizens go vote for you, and I prefer to not even talk or mention it. Sometimes, people are curious, so I tag along, but I fail each time, being honest isn't appreciated, especially in politics. Well, at least I know I'll never make it as a president or senator hahaha... 

To conclude this answer, I do miss Europe in certain cases, but sometimes I don't. It's a love/hate relationship. In the future, if Europe is still standing, I'm planning on going back, but for now, I'm good where I am, unless something like Trump comes along and destroy my "ok second home", then I'm screwed! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, I'll be happy to answer, but don't expect my answers to be exactly what you are hoping for. 
On the bright side, America has lots to give, it's a pretty generous country that is open minded and "new" compare to Europe. Now I won't talk about that yet since it wasn't the question of the day, but I wanted to clear things up before I pack this post! America is great, no doubts, it's welcoming and amazingly nice. There will always be some pros and cons in each country so ... 

"Being a foreigner is not a disease." -Alden Nowlan
~Bella

Let's be honest!

We, women, give excuses to so many guys on why they aren't calling back or anything that surrounds them!
Here is the truth about him not being into you at all...

He isn't into you if he only calls or wants to see you when he is drunk!
It can be fun to be drunk, but at parties or at a date, sure but if he only calls you or ask to see you when he is drunk, give up now! Don't let him hurt your feelings.

He isn't into you if he isn't calling or texting you!
We all know how to use a cell phone nowadays. Please stop with the excuse of him being busy or he lost his phone. He has it with him! (There's always an exception, but to be honest, it doesn't happen much!)

He isn't into you if doesn't answer the phone,  or completely disappear on you!
It's painful, and you are hurt, making up excuses, but STOP! There's no need, just move on to the next one, this one isn't coming back and he is clearly not into you whatsoever.

He isn't into you if doesn't ask questions about your life, your passion, about you!
A man who is interested will be asking questions about your hobbies, your work, your favorite type of food... They know how to ask questions!

He isn't into you if you always text or call him first!
Give up, see if he calls first, then we can talk...

He isn't into you if he only talks about himself, his issues and not yours!
A man who is interested will ask about your health, your problems...

He isn't into you if while you are together it ends up in sex!
Sex is amazing, but if there's not one day without it, not one night, it always has to be about sex... Please run away now before it's too late!

He isn't into you if he tries to change who you are!
Someone who is interested in you (this could go with everyone) will accept your flaws! They won't try to change who you are.

He isn't into you if you are always in a doubt!
If you can't stop thinking he is with someone else, or playing around, texting a girl... No, it's a NO! Don't get into anything.

Being interested in someone is asking questions about them, is taking them out, show them to people, call them or text them! Just be honest, don't let anyone on, don't play games, don't hurt anyone because you want to have fun!
I've seen it so many times before, experienced it, today I can tell if someone isn't interested in the other person. I'm not that good when it comes to my own situation, but when it comes to others, I'm usually on the spot! Don't trap yourself in giving the guy plenty excuses, it's not worth it! Not at all!

"A gentleman never give false hope."

~Bella