I'm Golden...

It's officially Autumn! Summer has finally died to leave me in a better mood. 

Alright, that's not all true, I can't say summer hasn't gone just yet since the weather isn't rainy, windy or cold enough for big sweaters and scarves. No beanies yet... Even though it is Autumn, it does not feel like it in California... How could it be this perfect season when all you have is the constant sun, bright blue sky, and the unbearable frustrating warm temperature... How? 

So much anger towards Summer, the hot sun burning our skin, the humidity making us sweat... I cannot stand Summer except, for one simple tiny thing... Autumn is here now... 

Favourite season...

I know I've been obsessing with the season but when you don't have the chance of living in a city where my sweater weather comes every year, you start missing it a lot. I have been having a long love story with sweaters, and despite the terrible fact that I cannot always wear them makes me depressed.

What makes this beautiful season so fabulous in many ways is simple. Really simple.

Autumn has gorgeous colours. Come on, the golden red leaves on the trees, falling on your head as you walk on the sidewalk to your work.
The smell of pumpkin spices, the firewood, the smell of rain in the air... Can't get better than this.

For me, the season has always brought something good in my life, and I'm beyond excited for the little boots, the scarves and sweaters to be back. The rain, first tattoo, traveling by myself, falling in love, making new friends... I could go on with the list, but it would be too much to write about and too many details I won't be able to remember. So it would end up being a boring reading for you!

This year, this season isn't going as plan, single, 21 so bars, working, and trying to get everything in my life organized. I'm still planning on getting that tattoo before the season end, planning on seeing a friend but never get it done. My life is a little bit more of a mess than ever before which makes me a little frustrated, but it is also why I started watching films, lots of films.

Let's starts off 'with Harry Potter, yes, I have to watch them every year, no matter what, I will find the time to watch them! They are too good to miss out on.

Now, it's Indiana Jones... I know the soundtrack, but when it comes to what it is about, I have no clue what is going on with anything. 

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels... Recommended to me by British friends, I can't wait to spend two hours in bed with chocolate and hot tea. There is always something interesting about crime, gang-related films. 

Hocus Pocus
One of the best movies to watch in Autumn and no one can argue this! It's a classic that everyone wants to watch and yet... I still haven't watched it. I'm a real winner here. 

The Nightmare Before Christmas! One of the best Tim Burton's films after a few others... This movie may seem childish and yet it is such a good one, the songs, the parody, the whole script. Autumn means Halloween to many of us, and despite the fact that it is not yet Halloween, it's a preparation for both this coming day and Christmas which I cannot wait for any longer. 

Sleepy Hollow, another Burton's movie. I had to watch it for a class back at school, but this time, I want to watch it with another eye, not so critical and judgmental. It has some special actors such as Deep. The costumes, the way they talk, the jump scares will keep me up for an entire night. 

This year's Autumn isn't full of movies as I work two jobs, and trying to keep track of my blog, my novel, and my new draft that is coming slowly into life, at least the whole idea is. 
Autumn isn't all about scary movies, romantic walks in the park, or waking up to the sound of rain. It's about the hot drinks that you get to finally drink such as Pumpkin spice latte (not my thing), hot chocolate,  extra coffee for the frisky mornings. The cuddles are back on especially on dates, and that I cannot resist! 

"Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile." - Wiliam Cullen Bryant.

~Bella

Helping Others Help Themselves... Psych 101...

Carl  Rogers was born on January 8th, 1902, in Oak Park, Illinois, to a strict Protestant family. As a teenager, he and his family moved to Glen Ellen, Illinois, where Rogers took an interest in agriculture. In 1919, Rogers started attending the University of Wisconsin, where he decided to major in agriculture. He would later change his major to history, and then once again to religion. 
During his junior year at the University of Wisconsin, Rogers and ten others were chosen to participate in an international Christian youth conference in China for six months. From this trip, Rogers began to question his choice of career. Following graduation in 1924, he attended the Union Theological Seminary, but transferred 1924, he attended the Union Theological Seminary but transferred to Teachers College, Columbia University, 1926. It was while at Teachers College, Columbia University, that Rogers took his first psychology courses. 

After earning his Ph.D. in psychology, Rogers worked at Ohio State University, the University of Chicago, and the University of Wisconsin. While working at the University of Wisconsin, Rogers developed one of his most significant contributions to the world of psychology: client-centered therapy. Believing that a client or patient was ultimately in charge of their happiness, Rogers changed the role of the therapist from a mere technician into someone that would be able to guide a client towards happiness. The therapist was to embody empathy, congruence, and positive regard. In addition to this, Rogers created his "self-theory," which provided a description of how a client viewed him or herself, and how therapy would be able to change this view. 
Today, the work of Carl Rogers would be considered "humanistic psychology." His ideas of how psychology should work focused less on diagnosing and more on how a person could help him or herself, with the ultimate goal to become what Rogers referred to as a "fully-functioning person." Carl Rogers died on February 4th, 1987. 

SELF- ACTUALIZATION

Clar Rogers rejected the claims of both behaviorism (which claimed behavior was the result of conditioning) and psychoanalysis (which focused on the unconscious and biological factors), instead theorizing that a person behaves in certain ways because of how he or she perceives a situation and that only people themselves can know how they perceive things. Rogers believed that people have one basic motive, the propensity to self-actualize. 

In its most basic form, self-actualization can be understood by using the metaphor of a flower. A flower is constrained to its environment, and only under the right conditions will it be able to grow to its full potential. 

Of course, humans are much more complex than flowers. We develop according to our personalities. Carl Rogers posited that people were inherently good and creative, and only became destructive when external constraints or a poor self-concept superseded the valuing process. Rogers claimed that a person with high self-worth, who has come close to attaining their ideal self, would be able to face the challenges they encountered in life, accept unhappiness and failure, feel confident and positive about his or herself, and be open with others. In order to achieve high self-worth and a degree of self-actualization, Rogers felt one must be in a state of congruence. 

CONGRUENCE

If someone's ideal self is similar to or consistent with their actual experience, then they are experiencing a state of congruence. When there is a difference between someone's ideal and their actual experience, this is known as incongruence. 

It is very rare for a person to experience a complete state of congruence; but, Rogers states, a person has a higher sense of worth and is more congruent when the self-image (how one sees oneself) approaches the ideal self that a person is striving for. Because people want to view themselves in ways that are compatible with their self-image, they may begin to use defense mechanisms like repression or denial to feel less threatened by feelings that might be considered undesirable.

Rogers also emphasized the importance of other people in our lives, believing that people need to feel that they are regarded positively by others because everyone possesses an inherent wish to be respected, valued, loved, and treated with affection. Rogers broke his idea of positive regard into two types: 

1. Unconditional positive regard: When people are loved and respected for who they are, especially by their parents, significant others, and therapists. This leaves a person unafraid to try new things and to make mistakes, even if the consequences of these mistakes are not good. When a person can self-actualize, he or she usually receives unconditional positive regard.

2. Conditional positive regard: When people receive positive regard not because they are loved and respected for who they are, but because they behave in ways others think are correct. For example, when children get approval from their parents because they behave the way their parents want them to act. Someone who always seeks approval from others most likely experienced conditional positive regard when he or she was growing up. 

~Bella

Left and Right Brain... Psych 101

LEFT AND RIGHT BRAIN
Thinking from your side

The left and right sides of the brain have specific functions and are responsible for different types of thinking. Most interestingly, these two sides of the brain have the ability to operate practically independently of each other. In psychology, this is referred to as the lateralization of brain function. 

In the early 1960s, psychologist Roger Sperry began conducting experiments on epileptic patients. Sperry discovered that by cutting the structure responsible for connecting and communicating between the left and right hemispheres of the brain, known as the corpus callosum, seizures could be reduced and even eliminated.

Once the corpus callosum was cut, the patients- who originally appeared normal- began experiencing other strange symptoms. Many patients found that they could name objects that had been processed by the left hemisphere of the brain but could no longer name objects that were processed by the right hemisphere. From this, Sperry deduced that the left hemisphere of the brain was responsible for controlling language. Other patients struggled with the ability to put blocks together in the prearranged way. 

Sperry was able to successfully show that left and right hemispheres of the brain were responsible for different functions and that each hemisphere also had the ability to learn. In 1981, Roger Sperry was awarded the Nobel Prize for his work in brain lateralization. 

RIGHT BRAIN DOMINANCE
The right hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for the left side of the body, is more capable in tasks that are expressive and creative-- also known as visual construction tasks. These include tasks such as expressing and reading emotions, understanding metaphors, discriminating shapes (like picking out an object that is camouflaged), copying designs, and making music. 

LEFT BRAIN DOMINANCE
The left hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for the right side of the body, is more capable at tasks such as languages, critical thinking, logic, reasoning, and use of numbers.

THE SPIT-BRAIN EXPERIMENTS
In Roger Sperry's split-brain experiments, Sperry had a split-brain patient (someone with a cut corpus callosum) sit in front of a screen that would hide his or her hands. Behind the screen, Sperry placed objects that the split-brain patient could not see.

The patient would then focus their eyes to the center of the screen and a word would appear on the screen in the patient's left visual field. This information was then received by the right hemisphere of the brain (the nonverbal part). The result was that the patient was actually unable to tell Sperry the word that he or she had seen. 

Sperry would then ask the patient to use their left hand to reach behind the screen and choose the object that corresponded with the word. Even though the patient was not aware of even seeing a word, the patient was able to choose the correct object. This is because the right hemisphere controls the movement of the left side of the body. 

Through this experiment, Roger Serry was able to successfully show that the left hemisphere of the brain is responsible for controlling reading and speech and that the right hemisphere of the brain does not have the ability to process verbal stimuli. 

So I Know My Dominant Side... Now What?
Understand which hemisphere you are more dominant in can actually be incredibly useful when it comes to thinking of better ways to approach studying or learning. For example, if you are more dominant with your right hemisphere, you may have a harder time following verbal instructions, and might benefit from improving your organizational skills or writing directions down. 

"My brain has two sides, the right side and the left side. The right side has nothing left and the left has nothing right." 

~Bella

Let's be honest!

We, women, give excuses to so many guys on why they aren't calling back or anything that surrounds them!
Here is the truth about him not being into you at all...

He isn't into you if he only calls or wants to see you when he is drunk!
It can be fun to be drunk, but at parties or at a date, sure but if he only calls you or ask to see you when he is drunk, give up now! Don't let him hurt your feelings.

He isn't into you if he isn't calling or texting you!
We all know how to use a cell phone nowadays. Please stop with the excuse of him being busy or he lost his phone. He has it with him! (There's always an exception, but to be honest, it doesn't happen much!)

He isn't into you if doesn't answer the phone,  or completely disappear on you!
It's painful, and you are hurt, making up excuses, but STOP! There's no need, just move on to the next one, this one isn't coming back and he is clearly not into you whatsoever.

He isn't into you if doesn't ask questions about your life, your passion, about you!
A man who is interested will be asking questions about your hobbies, your work, your favorite type of food... They know how to ask questions!

He isn't into you if you always text or call him first!
Give up, see if he calls first, then we can talk...

He isn't into you if he only talks about himself, his issues and not yours!
A man who is interested will ask about your health, your problems...

He isn't into you if while you are together it ends up in sex!
Sex is amazing, but if there's not one day without it, not one night, it always has to be about sex... Please run away now before it's too late!

He isn't into you if he tries to change who you are!
Someone who is interested in you (this could go with everyone) will accept your flaws! They won't try to change who you are.

He isn't into you if you are always in a doubt!
If you can't stop thinking he is with someone else, or playing around, texting a girl... No, it's a NO! Don't get into anything.

Being interested in someone is asking questions about them, is taking them out, show them to people, call them or text them! Just be honest, don't let anyone on, don't play games, don't hurt anyone because you want to have fun!
I've seen it so many times before, experienced it, today I can tell if someone isn't interested in the other person. I'm not that good when it comes to my own situation, but when it comes to others, I'm usually on the spot! Don't trap yourself in giving the guy plenty excuses, it's not worth it! Not at all!

"A gentleman never give false hope."

~Bella