February...
Short month but full of excitement!
One, my brother's birthday, 19th birthday, still cannot believe it!
Second, Valentine's Day which will be not sure how... Single squad!
Third, still, apartment hunting, send help!
Despite all the good energy that I've been trying to send my ways, it's hard to keep a clear mind, a positive attitude when you miss home (Ireland), when you miss friends ( I won't say names but I do miss the "Peanut" calling), when there are family issues, and when no one is helpful in the apartment hunting.
The one thing that has been bothering me is how one of my friends left home for the air force. That one piece of news hit hard. Not sure how to view such an action especially coming from such a brilliant person. I ain't against military actions and such but when it comes to having a good friend leave... There's something that triggers a part of you to hate the military.
How many families have been broken by their loved ones going?
How many of them didn't return?
How many of them did return but still struggle with PTSD?
How many families are waiting for news?
So many questions and the only person that has left for the military is a friend, I don't know how the family can cope because I miss having my friend around.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all the way in Europe, it was already difficult to keep in touch every day, but we tried to keep in touch whenever between text messages, emails, phone calls... I could go on...
I'm sure he is proud to serve the country any possible way, but I'm not entirely sure how to take that news myself. How to take the fact that he is gone...
When he broke the news to me, I cried myself that night, not thinking positively at all. All I could do is just watch "Dear John". Talk about romance and broken heart and military life... Go figure, when you are sad, you watch more sad films...
Serving your country is amazing, you should be proud if you have served or if you know someone who does. What I don't like is you see your loved ones leave... The long waiting periods for them to call, message, or come home to you. I know I would be able to endure it for love, but I hate not knowing if they are coming back or not.
Love/ Hate relationship if you say the least.
I guess you could say I'm starting to worry despite my own self being in a different country than him.
People who are dealing with this type of situation should be proud of themselves and the ones who have left...
~Bella
