"I'll give you that..."

February...

Short month but full of excitement! 

One, my brother's birthday, 19th birthday, still cannot believe it! 
Second, Valentine's Day which will be not sure how... Single squad!
Third, still, apartment hunting, send help!

Despite all the good energy that I've been trying to send my ways, it's hard to keep a clear mind, a positive attitude when you miss home (Ireland), when you miss friends ( I won't say names but I do miss the "Peanut" calling), when there are family issues, and when no one is helpful in the apartment hunting. 
The one thing that has been bothering me is how one of my friends left home for the air force. That one piece of news hit hard. Not sure how to view such an action especially coming from such a brilliant person. I ain't against military actions and such but when it comes to having a good friend leave... There's something that triggers a part of you to hate the military. 
How many families have been broken by their loved ones going? 
How many of them didn't return? 
How many of them did return but still struggle with PTSD? 
How many families are waiting for news?
So many questions and the only person that has left for the military is a friend, I don't know how the family can cope because I miss having my friend around. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm all the way in Europe, it was already difficult to keep in touch every day, but we tried to keep in touch whenever between text messages, emails, phone calls... I could go on... 

I'm sure he is proud to serve the country any possible way, but I'm not entirely sure how to take that news myself. How to take the fact that he is gone... 

When he broke the news to me, I cried myself that night, not thinking positively at all. All I could do is just watch "Dear John". Talk about romance and broken heart and military life... Go figure, when you are sad, you watch more sad films... 

Serving your country is amazing, you should be proud if you have served or if you know someone who does. What I don't like is you see your loved ones leave... The long waiting periods for them to call, message, or come home to you. I know I would be able to endure it for love, but I hate not knowing if they are coming back or not. 
Love/ Hate relationship if you say the least. 

I guess you could say I'm starting to worry despite my own self being in a different country than him. 

People who are dealing with this type of situation should be proud of themselves and the ones who have left...

~Bella

February's list...

February started last week and believe it or not, I bought multiple books since 2018 has started... I have started a few and just bought the others just because I wanted! Not sure how I am going to make it to Ireland with the cases of books, between the weight and the amount I currently have and the ones I'm planning on getting... Anyways, it's not, for now, I have time to figure it out!

February, the shortest month of the year, also means my brother's birthday which is coming tomorrow! Come back the 8th for a special quick post on him!

The list isn't going to be long, only five good books, I had to buy just because I didn't feel like I could walk away from them!

Little one... At Swim-Two-Birds from Flann O'Brien (Brian O'Nolan)
"A wildly comic send-up of Irish literature and culture, At Swim-Two-Birds, is the story of a young, lazy, and frequently drunk Irish college student who lives with his curmudgeonly uncle in Dublin. When not in bed (where he seems to spend most of his time) or reading, he is composing a mischief-filled novel about Dermot Trellis, a second-rate author whose characters ultimately rebel against him and seek vengeance. From drugging him as he sleeps to dropping the ceiling on his head, these figures of Irish myth makes Trellis pay dearly for his bad writing."

Everyone has either read or heard about the story, the novel, and the author... If you haven't, I would tell you to go check it out because this is a great book no matter how famous or unfamous it may be!

The next three novels were written by Anne Enright, I got into her writing, giving me the urge to read more from her.

Little two... The Gathering
"A dazzling writer of international stature, Anne Enright is one of Ireland's most singular voices. Now she delivers The Gathering, a moving, evocative portrait of a large Irish family haunted by the past.
The nine surviving children of the Hegarty clan are gathering in Dublin for the wake of their wayward brother, Liam, drowned in the sea. His sister, Veronica, collects the body and keeps the dead man company, guarding the secret she shares with him- something that happened in their grandmother's house in the winter of 1968. As Enright traces the line of betrayal and redemption through three generations, she shows how memories warp and secrets fester. As in all Enright's work, her distinctive intelligence twists the world a fraction, and gives it back to us in a new and unforgettable light."

I read the first page and it captured me fast... Quickly fell in love with the way she writes!

Little three... Yesterday's Weather
"Enright's characters are haunted by the ghosts of the lives they might have led- lit by new flames, old flames, and flames that are guttering out. A woman's one-night stand is illuminated by dreams of a young boy on a cliff road, another's is thwarted by a swarm of somnolent bees. A pregnant woman is stuck in a slow lift with a tactile American stranger, a naked mother changes a nappy in a hotel bedroom, and waits for her husband to come back from the bar. This collection includes some of Enright's best love stories as well as her latest works."

It's something different, something dark and yet brilliant. It's something you rather not get into, but still, do cause you are drawn to every story.

Little four... The Green Road
"The children of Rosaleen Madigan leave the west of Ireland for lives they ever could have imagined, in Dublin. New York and various third-world towns. In her early old age their difficult, wonderful mother announces that she's decided to sell the house and divide the proceeds. Her adult children come back for a last Christmas, with the feeling that their childhoods are being erased, their personal history bought and sold."

It says that Anne Enright is addicted to the truth and it shows in every sentence. And that makes every detail more important than anything!

Little five... Ghosting from Jennie Erdal
"Ghosting moves from startlingly vivid evocations of an austere Scottish upbringing in Fife to superbly rendered portraits of the people- the young and beautiful, the titled, and the eccentric- with whom Erdal worked at a London- based publishing house. None is more affectionately or intriguingly drawn than that of Tiger himself. In temperament, Tiger and Erdal couldn't have been more different. Yet their relationship weathered storms of all kinds, from temper tantrums to serious financial reversals, with a tenacious bond that is both a wonder and an enigma."

Despite the fact that I love reading, and despite the fact that I don't set myself a specific schedule when it comes to reading, I read whenever I can, which is not too much lately... But hopefully, 2018 will be your year. The year where you will be escaping real life...

"Fairy Tales are more than true not because they tell us that dragons exist but because they tell us that dragon can be beaten." - Neil Gaiman

~Bella