That crossing line...

When people come in the store, I say "Hello" out of courtesy. Expecting a "hello" back, but most of the time I have to wait until the father, husband or another male person to come in and say "Hello" back. For some odd reason, women got a hard time being polite.
On a Saturday morning, early, a father and little girl came in the shop. Discussing the raspberry macaron, but no "Hello" back, no observation, no nothing.  What a great way to come in a shop! The mother came in five minutes after with a large smile on her face and a very sweet "Hello". I responded and followed her to what macaron she wanted. Getting 8 macarons, I was almost sure they would leave without any tip, seeing how the father was reacting.  When they left I look down at the receipt, by a miracle, a tip was on. The mother had given me her credit card and paid herself. No surprise there, but something was definitely wrong in their relationship.
It's my first time a mother actually give me a tip and says "Hello" instead of the husband. It's either both, who are very polite or just the male model.
Made me happy to see that the mother was in a happy mood and generous to top it all off. I don't know how it is for you if you work around people, do they say "Hello" out of courtesy or not?
I don't understand why so many people aren't polite, it doesn't kill anyone to say "Hello", "Please", or "Thank you". It makes our day so much better, us as employees behind the counter. Everyone has bad days, where we don't want to talk to anyone, but it's still pleasant to hear a little "Hello".
I don't always say it, but I try my best to almost always stay polite by smiling.

The funniest part of all the customers I met are the kids with their parents. Some will look over to the chocolates, ask me if they are eatable, and I'll look at them with a weird look. It happened to me, last time, a young around 15 years of age girl, came in with her father and older sister. She asked about the chocolates, and I couldn't help keep the sarcasm away.
"It's just for decoration," I replied with a stupid smile.
Her father stared her down, laughing, telling her, "Did you hear what you just asked? You couldn't ask a stupider question than this."
He looked back at me and apologized for his daughter's idiotic question that made all of us laugh.
I managed to get a tip, but bloody hell, these stupid questions will get very exhausting to hear.

The next family that came later in the week, was both parents and a daughter, around 17 years of age. I could tell she was getting everything she desired. Her mother politely asked for a box of 6, which I made after waiting 10 minutes or a bit more with the daughter's choice of macarons. Indeed, there are quite a lot of choices, but when you see that behind you there are more customers, you try to go a little faster! No smile, nothing came out of that girl's facial expressions. The plain expression she gave me like it was normal that her parents were spending money on her. I felt horrible serving the young lady that it was written all over my face. Her father felt horrible as were behavior. I thanked him, but I told myself that they would have to pay for their daughter's things until they cannot anymore. I didn't even hear any "Thank you" when I gave them the box, only from the parents who looked quite embarrassed.
I can't to this day believe parents have no respect from their children. I would understand not thanking me, but her parents paid a box of macarons to please her. The "Thank you" should be automatic, but no! So the parents apologize but don't do anything with their children. They will have it worse later on, and we can't say anything to them, just watch the situation play its course. When I have these people come in with ungrateful children, I just feel terrible for the parents.
Luckily, they are exceptions... Some kids are so polite and determined to stick with one or two macarons that I get these samples out for them to try. It's quite adorable to see a little kid come in the store, walk up to you and ask you, "Can I, please get a green cookie?" How can you not melt away?
I'm actually surprised to see and hear a little kid being polite instead of their parents. Yes, this situation, this amazing case does happen. Sometimes, the kids are more polite than the parents, sad, but true!
Then, you've got the very sweet guy that come in, alone, each time, to get one macaron,  smile big, pays and leaves, but to always come back to get another one. Honestly, that guy must be in love with macarons. Sadly, he is around just to visit his parents...Won't see this one very often.

It's just hilarious to see so many different faces come and go. You've got all types of people... The elderly who happen to always have a hard time hearing. Sorry, my voice isn't as loud as others, it's more quiet, softer to be fairly honest.
Then, I've got the impossible teenagers who think they are better than everyone else. These ones are just painful to work with! Can't get enough of their unpleasant behaviors. They come in, keep talking about their exes or gossip around. What a perk!

Now, we have amazing customers, who are always in a positive mood, great vibes, always smiling, polite and always for the most time give tips! It's pleasant to be able to communicate and rely on these valuable customers! 
I remember when a woman, one morning, came in with a little shy smile. She had lost her voice maybe after been sick, she asked in a very low voice if she could get a box of 6. A couple and their daughter came in seconds after. They heard how difficult it was for the woman to talk, so respectfully talked quietly enough so I could hear what the woman was saying. It was pleasant to see how respectful they were to the poor woman who made me sad. I ended up giving her an advice on trying to get her voice back. Usually, hot milk with honey helps! 
Not being the best social person out there, I can tell you that being communicative isn't always easy! The struggle of listening to people who come in, reply when needed, it takes a lot! But this job is helping me realize that they are amazing people out there, and sadly, some people who are less amazing! 

"Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing." - Rollo May.

~Bella

Little once, little forever...

I didn't know how to start this post, it is quite personal but people don't know half of what makes me, me... Not many will know what I had to go through at a young age and what I still have to deal with at my age. Yes, I'll be talking about ten year or more ago. Yes, it's going to be about me, but also how it may affect others as well. I know there's worse people than me who have to go through a lot more at a younger age. Everyone deals with situations differently, and this is how I've dealt with a few things. 

To make you understand a few things, I never really lived with my father as he worked the entire week, and would come back only on weekends. I never had a father at home like most of my peers from school, and I was alright with that. I still had my mother and brother with me! Second, my parents divorced when I was about ten years of age, leaving my brother being six. 
Children don't comprehend why their parents separate until the day one or both parents talk about the subject, calmly with plenty of explanation that the child will understand. It will be a stressful time for everyone, and many children react badly, abandonment, violence will be present, verbally or physically. Other kids will just be shut off, introverted, depressed, will ignore everyone and everything. And some will just live their life, leaving their parents to deal with the problem themselves. 

Now, most parents will talk in front of the children, and this will be the end of the beautiful, innocence that children have as they mature up quicker. It's a fault, but not talking, telling the truth doesn't help either. Kids need some reassurance, confidence, as well as space to process what's going on, and the parents need to be open minded to the possibility of responding to questions, without being evil about the other parent. 

My parents had violent fights as well as dishes being thrown, hits from my father to my mother, bloody hands, and yelling, lots of yelling especially from my father. Treats and revengeful words were thrown as well as death treats from my father to my mother. 
When you hear about guns and killing your mother, trust me, you will start being afraid of the consequence, the future, what your father is capable of doing. 
People don't understand why I don't trust men, why I have such a hard time being able to act "normally" around them and why I'm so distant at times. It's not a hatred against men, it's more a cautious side that shows up more often than what I anticipate. Imagine this...

You are about ten, you had your first kiss, you have a younger brother, you are finishing elementary school (In France, 6th grade is in junior high and not elementary). You play piano and teach your cat an easy song. You are a bookworm with earplugs almost all the time... Have amazing grades in literature and history, bad grades in math. You spend hours trying to fix issues with friends, listening to their problems as well as ignoring your own. Then one day, your mother decides to leave your father. That one doesn't take it slightly, making treats, being even more violent than he usually is, hits more than before, and yells all the time. You see, your mother sleep upstairs in the spare bed while your father is downstairs in the bedroom which happen to be below yours. You wake up suddenly in the middle of the night just to hear him cry or yell or making noises as he search wardrobes for whatever. 
This is just a passage as you leave a few months later to live in another city, another school, and you go see your father one or two weekends each month. You feel a little better, your mother explains why she left, but  you are living in fear that your father comes around to kill you and your mother, brother. Whenever you go back to his place, all he does is complain, breaks photo frame, shows you the blood that runs down his hand, even if he knows you can't see it because you either faint or throw up. He barely makes dinner so you are stuck doing it yourself, makes grocery shopping lists for the next day, you are stuck with telling your brother to go shower before dinner time. Putting your brother to bed and play with him. Stuck with the responsibility of dealing with a father that only cries, complains and pretends to be the good guy when it's the opposite. Stuck with the responsibility of protecting your brother by getting the hits yourself, by telling him to go back upstairs and lock the door in case something goes wrong...

How would you deal with all that? 
How would you feel about all this? 
How would you behave in this situation?
Would you still trust a man? Talk to your father? 

My mother helped me a lot, supported me, but I still felt alone, and I had to mature up quicker than everyone my age. None of my friends would understand and I barely talked because, let's be honest, it's embarrassing. It's like a woman who is dealing with domestic violence, will she speak up? Will she leave? Most the time, they are too scared to do that. So a ten years old girl isn't capable of much. 
I'm turning twenty-one in a couple months from now, and no, I've never really talked about it all to someone except a few things to some people who I thought would understand and listen. Sadly, people still manage to tell me that I have a problem, that I don't trust enough people, that I'm too honest, that I shut down quickly, I judge people too fast. After my teenage years, I had to deal with liars, manipulators, a father that rejected me, and you expect me to be all trusting? I don't think so.  You can't expect me to not trust my gusts when I'm usually right about someone. Over the years, I learned that not every man is the same, that some are actually lovable and sweet, the opposite of my father. But, still, do not expect me to trust you, to not be cold at first, and behave differently than I am. 

Traumas don't go away, they stay, heal over time, but they stay. Just like you forgive, but never forget! In my case, I won't be able to forgive a man that insulting me, hit me, proved that I was nothing to him for years, that doesn't try to explain or apologize for his action! Before you judge the way I am, try and comprehend why I became the way I am today. Instead of putting me down by insulting me, my behavior, or telling me to change, try and listen to my story. 
Everyone doesn't get the chance to have a happy childhood, joyful teenage years, being the little princess or prince. Some have to deal with screams, violence, and others. We may be strong, we may strive and let the past be the past, move on, but the trauma is still here, it may affect us in a way that we cannot always control!

"It's not the future that you're afraid of. It's repeating the past that makes you anxious. "

~Bella

Let's get together...

Inauguration day... Donald Trump Jr. became president of the USA. The entire world watched from Great Britain to Australia. People from everywhere either crying, trying to realize what's going on, or some are just beyond joyful about the news. Everyone has their opinion on the subject. I know I do, and as an European, it's not that great of a news. It's actually a complete nightmare. The past is the past, we cannot change it but we can learn, sadly, humans tend to not learn much throughout the years, let's be honest, we see it with the last election!

The day after Tump's inauguration, people across the world started marching. Marching you ask, yes marching as in walking throughout streets to protest against what Trump have been saying against women. The mass majority is the women walking for their rights, but also men who happen to agree. Women have fought for their rights, so why is Trump going to just disregard that? The question struck me! No idea, if you have a clue, please tell me! 

When you hear women, you think of a mature girl who is independent, strong, and determined to succeed in whatever she wishes. For me, a woman is a mature person who can be a mother as well as a wife and a business woman. It's a human being who is capable of being kind but stubborn when needed, understandable, compassionate, respectful but not too much that she is overly arrogant! A woman is capable of being herself, disregarding comments that may be thrown her way! 
So when women are once again treated as garbage by men who have women around them, it makes me a little upset, more than usual. I can understand why men would be slightly underestimating women, but having a president who doesn't comprehend the fact that women have fought for centuries about their rights, about EVERYTHING, it makes the country go very low. 

Trump may have qualities, he may be an amazing, but I wouldn't think so at all, not after hearing his speeches, or the way he acts around his beloved wife. Let's look how Obama treated his wife with much more respect than most men would with their wives. He proved us that behind a man there is a woman! Besides the husband there's a wife, supporting him, loving him, being proud of who they became. It doesn't matter if you are married to another man, being homosexual, there's a woman behind them as well, mothers. 
Who had to go throw labor to give you life? Who had to give up hours of beauty sleep to breast feed you? Who had to spend hours cleaning you, change your diapers, change the bedsheets because you had accidents? Who had to deal with sticky underwears? Who taught you how to talk, read, eat properly? Who took the time to listen to you when you were not happy or having issues? Who spent hours in the kitchen, making you healthy food to eat so you do not starve? 
I can go on, I see it every day with my mum, I had to deal with it when I was with my father when they divorced. I had to deal woman chores at a young age, and being a mother is a job, underrated job which isn't recognized by anyone. 
When you hear Trump talk about women in such a manner, it proves that he doesn't care, appreciate his own mother, so how could he appreciate any woman? 

Make America great again? It had to be in a horrible position in order to make it great again. It's being beyond great since Obama took office since he tried to repair the mistake that was done before. Now Trump will just destroy everything that Obama have done for this country. Instead of having his own people under health insurance so they don't die because there's no money to get help, HE WILL LET THEM DIE WITH NO MONEY! Yet, let's make America great again... 

Marching may seem like nothing to a lot, but it shows that we are alive, we are here and we are strong enough to stay where we belong or not more... Many women have fought for countries, for equal rights, and now they want to take them away like they never happened? I don't think so. Women may not be as physically strong than men, but women are determined, stubborn and mentally strong to take down anyone who may treat them like garbage. If we fight together (peaceful, mental fight), we are capable of succeeded! Achieve what we want! 

Let's not forget the strong women who fought for our rights, for us! 

"We have talked long enough in this country about equal rights. We have talked for one hundred years or more. It is time now to write the next chapter, and to write it in the books of law." - Lyndon B. Johnson

~Bella

The Book of Symbols 8...

Star

It does not prevent me from having a terrible need of, shall I say the word- of religion- then I go outside in the night to paint the stars... Vincent van Gogh, in a letter to his brother Theo, Arles, September 1888.

Twinkling in the more than 100 billion galaxies in the universe, the sheer numbers of stars are almost unimaginable. The stars of deep space that we see through telescopes on a clear, dark night are so ancient and so far away that their light has taken millions, even billions of years to travel to us. There are no people in the world who have not projected into the starry heavens the preeminent forces and myths of their cosmos. The great goddess- Inanna, Ishtar, Aphrodite- was everywhere the radiant evening- and- morning star, the arc of the mysteries of sleep, dream, death, and regeneration. We watch and wish on stars, pray to stars and see in them the phosphors of our psychic firmament. For thousands of years, stars have oriented the wanderer, sailor, and pilgrim just as consciousness navigating its unknown darkness takes its bearings from the scintillations of psyche's imaginal forms. Stars tell us of the infinite, the visionary, of something in ourselves that is starlike, star stuff. In the loss, we look up and find in the beckoning incandescence of a single star the longed- for soul of the departed.

Starry Night, Arsles, by Vincent van Gogh,

oil on canvas, 1888, France.

Out of galactic clouds of gas and dust, a star forms over millions of years into an immense ball, self-luminous with radiation from trillions of nuclear reactions at its core, and is held intact and bound to other stars and planets within its galaxy by the gravitational pull of dark matter (Greene, 295). Though Plato described it as " the moving likeness of eternity,"  a star eventually implodes under its own weight when its nuclear fuel is exhausted. If it is a massive star, its death can create a supernova, a series of explosions that blow off the star's outer layers in a radioactive cloud that causes a brilliance equal to a billion suns and finally ends as a black hole where the gravity is so strong that even light cannot escape it. 

Long before we knew the phenomenal nature of a star, it suggested a nuclear, enigmatic "point" or " monad" whose source of gravity was mysterious and abysmal. Egyptian Nut, the lovely goddess of the night sky, was depicted as giving birth to the stars and talking them up against her dark belly (Clark, 50), the way unconscious gives birth to consciousness and darkly encompasses the luster of its individual spark. In the Pyramid Texts, the deceased was directed to become an "imperishable star" and so live forever (Quirke,50). Alchemy adopted the theme in its goal of bringing the conflicting "many" of the self into a luminous and unified "one." Evocative of the magnetic "center" and its capacity to order and synthesize, the pole star, in Egypt known as "that place" or "the great city," was perceived as the node of the universe, the center of its regulation and the seat of the high god who presides over the cosmic circuit of stars (Clark, 58). In unmoving solitude in the midst of the heavens as at the center of a mandala, the pole star appeared to the Chinese as the stillness of an emperor surrounded by his glittering court, and alchemy described it as the fiery heart of its spirit Mercurius.

Five-pointed stars as emblem of gods and immortal souls.

Painting from the tomb of Iry-nufer, 1305-1200 B.C.E.

Theban Necropolis, Egypt.

Stars are also felt as ambivalent; we speak of our good stars and evil stars. The ancients discovered in the "wheel of the stars" a divinatory map, or zodiac, based on the orbits of the sun, moon, and planets in relation to the fixed star constellations. Astrology brought the outer heavens into correspondence with the inner by calculating the position of the heavenly bodies at the moment of an individual's birth. The "writing in the heavens" could seem fated, however. Heimarmene, the " compulsion of the stars," referred to unconscious patterns of behavior that felt unalterable and determinative; it was a goal of religious rites and of healing process even in their oldest forms to bring these patterns under a conscious agency, thereby breaking their compulsive power.

Stars continue to stir us at the deepest levels. the black hole has been compared to alchemy's "black blacker than black" of psychic fragmentation and absolute despair. M.L. von Franz thought of it as an image of the soul outside the "event horizon" of space and time- existing beyond death in a state of unextended intensity, or "specifications" (p.139). Alchemists called the imagination a celestial or super-celestial star because of its ability to shed light on, transform and transcend the fetters of existence ( CW 12:394). Paracelsus used the term for the numinous "light of nature," which he believed was innate uniquely in each individual and also in animals an inborn spirit. Only self-knowledge, he believed, can teach us of this "quintessence," and the learning is unconventional, engaging intuition, feeling, fantasy and dreams: "As the light of nature cannot speak, it buildeth shapes in sleep" (CW 8:90-391). These, too, are like stars, reflections of eternity in the dark pool of our being.

~Bella

Let's take some responsibilities...

Next stop... 

RESPONSIBILITY

Helping our children take ownership of their lives

WHAT IS IT?

Responsibility is the ability to take ownership of both accomplishments and mistakes. 

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?

"The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life." - Hal Elrod

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

*Follows through on promises and commitments

* Is dependable

* Does what needs to be done without being asked

* Accepts blame (does not make excuses or blame others  for mistakes)

*Does the right thing, even when no one is watching

How you can help your child

1. Model it

The most powerful way to teach responsibility is to model responsibility for your child. If you make a promise to someone, keep it. If you make a commitment, stick to it until the end (even if you don't feel like it). Verbalize these situations for your child. You could say, "I'd really like to stay home today, but I promised our neighbors I would help them with their garden."

2. Let them help you

Young children often want nothing more than to help you (cook, clean, fold laundry). Even though it may take 3 times longer to get something done, let them help you. Letting them help you builds your child's confidence and self-worth and teaches them how to do chores. Be careful not to be overly critical they do the job-- this can undo the positive experience.

3. Chores, chores, chores
Age-appropriate chores are an important part of building responsibility. Before assigning chores, be sure to model each task for your child. Start small, and gradually add tasks as they get older. Make a visual list or chart so your child can see what needs to be done each day. 

4. Help them understand consequences
Each choice we make has a consequence- positive or negative. Being responsible means that we try to make choices that are going to give us the best consequences. Use examples from your life to help reinforce this. You could say, "I chose to pack my lunch last night, and now I don't feel rushed this morning." Give your child opportunities to make good choices, but don't rescue them when they forget their responsibilities. If they are responsible for bringing their band instrument to school and they forget, don't bring it to them. Let them pay the consequence this time and chances are, they will be more responsible the next time. 

We all have to deal with responsibilities, but how many of us take them seriously?
Children may have a difficult time taking them seriously, but adults have to deal with these important ones. Most of us don't even take them seriously, prefer to have others deal with their responsibilities. But at some point we are all responsible for someone or something!
Don't try and run away from them! 

"Responsibility is the price of freedom."- Elbert Hubbard.

~Bella 

Psych 101... PERSONALITY... What makes you... You?

When discussing personality, psychologists look at the thoughts, behaviors, and emotions that an individual has that make him or her unique- also known as a "mental system." Personality is individualized, and, for the most part, it will remain consistent throughout an individual's life. While there are many interpretations as to what constitutes personality, several key characteristics are

generally accepted in the field of study:

• In general, there is a consistency and noticeable order to behavior. People behave in the same or similar ways in different types of situations.
• Personality influences how a person behaves and responds to their environment, and is also the cause of behaving in particular ways.
• While personality is a psychological concept, biological processes have a large influence and impact on it.
• Behavior is not the only thing that displays personality. Personality can be seen in interactions with other people, relationships thoughts, and emotions.

TRAIT THEORIES

There are several theories and schools of thought that try to understand how personality develops, and many have already been discussed in depth. These include humanist theories (such as Maslow's hierarchy of needs), which emphasize the role of free will and the experience of the individual; psychoanalytic theories (like the work of Sigmund Freud) that emphasize early experiences and the unconscious); behavioral theories (like classical and operant conditioning), which suggest that the individual and his or her interaction with the environment lead to the development of personality; and trait theories, which are particularly noteworthy because of their emphasis on the difference between people. Trait theories, then, focus on finding and measuring the personality traits that comprise each individual. Throughout the history of psychology, there have been several trait theories. Among the most important are:

Allport's Trait Theory

In 1936, Harvard psychologist Gordon Allport, who also taught the very first personality psychology class in the United States, developed his trait theory of personality. Allport went through the dictionary and searched for every term he felt described a personality trait. With a list of over 4,500 words, Allport organized these traits into three categories:

1. Cardinal Traits: Traits that control and define the entire personality of an individual. As a result, these types of traits are often synonymous with the individual and are very rare. These traits include Christ-like, Narcissistic, and Machiavellian. 

2. Central Traits: Traits that are common. These include traits like friendliness, kindness, honesty, etc.

3. Secondary Traits: Traits that appear under particular conditions and circumstances. For example, becoming nervous prior to giving a speech in public. 

Cattell's Sixteen Personality Factors

Working off of Gordon Allport's theory, psychologist Raymond Cattell tookAllport's list of more than 4,200 personality traits and dwindled it down to 171 traits, by combining those that were similar to one another and removing traits that were uncommon. Cattell then created questionnaires that used these traits and tested a large population sample. Once Cattell had the results from the questionnaires, he identified any terms that were closely related and used a statistical process known as factor analysis to decrease the number of main personality traits even further. He concluded that a total of sixteen personality traits were the source of all personalities and that every single person had these traits to some degree. The sixteen personality factors Cattell identified are:

• Abstractedness: Being imaginative and abstract versus being grounded and practical.
• Apprehension: Being worried and insecure versus being confident and secure.
• Dominance: Being forceful and assertive versus being submissive and secure.
• Emotional stability: Being calm versus being emotionally unstable and high-strung.
• Liveliness: Being enthusiastic and spontaneous versus being restrained and serious.
• Openness to change: Being flexible and open versus being traditional and attached to the familiar. 
• Perfectionism: Being self-disciplined and controlling versus being undisciplined and flexible.
• Privateness: Being discreet and shrewd versus being open and unpretentious. 
• Reasoning: Thinking abstractly and being more intelligent versus thinking concretely and being less intelligent.
• Rule consciousness: Being conscientious and conforming versus being nonconforming and disregarding rules.
• Self-reliance: Being self-sufficient and individualistic versus being dependent.
• Sensitivity: Being sentimental and tender-hearted versus being unsentimental and tough-minded.
• Social boldness: Being uninhibited and venturesome versus being shy and timid.
• Vigilance: Being suspicious and skeptical versus being trusting and accepting.
• Warmth: Being outgoing and attentive to people versus being distant and reserved.

"If positive psychology teaches us anything, it is that all of us are a mixture of strengths and weaknesses. No one has it all, and no one lacks it all." - Christopher Peterson

~Bella

What Would Jane Do? (5)

Do we, women, really know our man, our gentlemen? I don't think so! Jane Austen put a lot of little comments in each book! 

Chapter V. Get to know your gentleman

What strange creatures brothers are! - Mansfield Park (1814)
The ladies here probably exchanged looks which meant, " men never know when things are dirty or not;" and the gentlemen perhaps thought each to himself, "women will have their little nonsense and needless cares." - Emma (1815)
A man does not recover from such devotion of the heart to such a woman! He ought not; he does not. - Persuasion (1817)
General benevolence, but not general friendship, made a man what he ought to be. - Emma (1815)
If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are always sure to get out of it. - Persuasion (1817)
With men he can be rational and unaffected,but when he has ladies to please, every feature works. - Emma (1815)
[He] is just the type of man... Whom everybody speaks well of, and nobody cares about; whom all are delighted to see, and nobody remembers to talk to. - Sense and Sensibility (1811)
Men of sense, whatever you may choose to say, do not want silly wives.- Emma (1815)
He thoroughly knows his own mind and acts up to his resolutions: an inestimable quality. - Mansfield Park (1814)
It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies, could they be made to understand how little the heart of man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire. _ Northanger Abbey (1917)
There certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world, as there are pretty women to deserve them. - Mansfield park (1814)
One man's ways may be as good as another's by we all like our own best. - Persuasion (1817)
We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of a man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
I could easily forgive his pride if he had not mortified mine.- Sense and Sensibility (1811)
You are mistaken, Mr.Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner.- Pride and Prejudice (1813)
Dare does not say that man forgets sooner than a woman, that his love has an earlier death.- Persuasion (1817)
From the first moment, I may almost say... I had not known you a month before I felt that  you were the last man in the world whom I could ever prevail on to marry.- Pride and Prejudice (1813)
That would be the greatest misfortune of all! To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate! Do not wish me such an evil. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
She did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition. - Sense and Sensibility (1811)
His cold politeness, his ceremonious grace, were worse than anything. - Persuasion (1817)
I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own.- Sense and Sensibility (1811)
Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing, after all.- Pride and Prejudice (1813)
Now they were as strangers; nay worse than strangers, for they could never become acquainted. - Persuasion (1817)

Next chapter will be more about loving him... Excited to read what Jane Austen thought of that subject....

"Pictures of perfection make me sick and wicked." - 

~Bella

It had to happen again!

Happy Friday the 13th... 

As many of you know, it's today, and for a lot of you, it is considered an unlucky day! Some developed a phobia out of it, paraskevidekatriaphobia or fear of Friday the 13th. If you are indeed one to worry about this unlucky day, I suggest you stay in bed all day to escape any bad luck that may come your way. Even though in 1976, New Yorker Daz Baxter was apparently so afraid of Friday the 13th decided the safest place to stay was his bed. However, Mr. Baxter was killed when the floor of his apartment block collapsed that day. Be careful, your bed may not just be the greatest idea!
If you do not care whatsoever, please do embrace your Friday as it is, indeed, just another Friday. 

I don't personally take pride in worrying about that day, but I still try to stay away from any "bad luck" situation. Sadly, a lot happens on Friday the 13th, for instance, in November 2015, in Paris, a series of terrorist attacks happened. In 2010, lightning struck 13 years of age boy from Suffolk on Friday the 13th at 13:13 or 1:30 P.M. That's called horrible luck! To go back to History, WWII, one of the most destructive of Nazi Germany bombing campaign occurred on the 13th, Queen Elizabeth, and King George VI were at tea. Five bombs struck the palace, on of which destroyed the interior of the Royal Chapel. Another ruptured a water main and three people were injured, one fatally. 

For music lovers, Friday, September 13th, 1996... I was just a few months old, the rapper Tupac dies from gunshot injuries in a Las Vegas hospital. That obviously made a lot of people think it was fake and some will say that he is still alive, hiding away. I don't know about this theory... And finally, to sum up, the tragedies... In 2012, cruising off the Tuscan coast turned chaotic as the Costa Concordia cruise ship struck a reef and began to tilt. It starts out by passengers evacuating by lifeboats, but let's just say that the ship ended up sinking and survivor had to be airlifted to shore by helicopter. A massive salvage operation took 19 hours to raise the ship from the reef where it came to rest. The captain was arrested for manslaughter and for abandoning the ship instead of directing the evacuation.  

Friday the 13th has some crazy stories, some believable, others not so much. Yet, many of us believe in the theory of having bad luck on the 13th... Some hotel such as the Carlton hotel in London misses out on the thirteenth floor.  Many don't want to travel that day leaving the flying company a bit "stuck".  The number of property transaction decline on Friday 13, don't sell or buy a house that day unless you want bad luck. 

But it also has some perks... It isn't all that bad... Some good things happened as well like: 
1. Hollywood arrived! The sign was unveiled on the 13th. At the time it was to advertise a housing development, now it's just one of the biggest tourist attraction!
2. Amazing day for the Friday the 13th film franchise! A lot of money was made! GOOD JOB! 

3. Athens took back from fascist powers in WWII! Amazing for history! Italy invaded Greece but they were pushed back by Greek forces! Then came the German who helped out and occupied Greece until help from the American, Russian, and British moved in driving the Germans north. That was in October 1944, on Friday the 13th, Athens was back to Greece and not fascism allowed! 
4.First equal opportunity employment act for government workers!!!!! President Johnson signed an executive order meant to rid the U.S government of discrimination on account of gender!

Anyways, Friday the 13th is a myth, nothing has proved it was an unlucky day. You believe it or you don't, it's up to you! Frankly, I don't care much, but I still manage to worry a little... 
This "unlucky day" originated by different ideas like:
Apparently, Friday is an unlucky day and 13 an unlucky number, you add them up and here you got Friday the 13th! 
In numerology 13 is considered to be an irregular number and is also the number of witches you need to form a coven (if you believe in that stuff).   

Obviously, everyone has a different story to back it up! Nothing dramatic happened that day for me, so I can't judge or take it into consideration. All I know is that I ain't working today and I believe I'll be safer home than at work with some terrible customers. Maybe I would have been mean to one of them.

Let's play the safe card! 

"On Friday the 13th, weird things are supposed to happen... Maybe I'll get in a relationship..."

~Bella

Another fight, another country...

If you are French, DO NOT TAKE THIS ARTICLE FOR YOU! Not everyone is the same! Please DO NOT judge MY opinion!  


Flash news,  I was born in France, spent about 10 years of my life in this country, and moved to the States right after! 

No, I won't be talking about how important the change was or how it proved me that living in another country might be beneficial! This article is about my birth country because let's be honest it's only my birth country! It's about being ashamed of being born in France! Not patriotic of me, I apologize in advance!

France is quite an old country with plenty of history, lots of corruption, and amazing food (can't deny that). People are on strike, often, or complain on other days.
I complain all the time, it's quite disturbing, to say the least, and I blame my culture behind this flaw. Might be my birth country, but I try to keep the French side of me away from everyone, even at work. 

I live in the US who happens to be the "terrible two", they act like 2 years old toddlers who think they can do anything they wish. They proved it with Trump's election. I won't go back to the story, what's done is done, can't change the past. But we can change some people's view about it! 

Last night, on a French press article about Obama leaving office and his last speech on Facebook, a woman (my dear mother) commented, quite simple, nothing mean for that matter. My mother isn't the politic type of person (I think I take from her), but she was right, we are sad to see such a president leave office. No one is perfect, humans make mistakes, but Obama did a lot of good, especially after a terrible, horrifying president like the one we had before, our famous Bush. Now, it's a French article, lots of blah blah to make people sleepy, but French people don't think so. 
Last night (for us), many commented back on my mother's post with amazing comments and so not nice comments as well. We can't be all on the same page... Life would be boring! I read a few comments this morning, saw a lot of displeased sayings, and I came to the conclusion that people, in general, are quite ignorant! 
We all say Americans are ignorant, which is part true, but we forget to mention how French people can also be ignorant, especially when it comes to politics, Germany, food, military, football (soccer) and I pass on the other subjects. 

I've been ashamed of being French for a while now, I've got reasons, but this little Facebook comment just went up the roof! People will deliberately be offended by truthful comments because they think they know more... Flash news, the news on TV, newspapers, or online news don't always tell you the truth or tell half of it just for the sake of it. Don't believe it all, please, it will save us from ignorant comments such as the ones I saw on Facebook. We are free to say what we think, free to tell our opinions, to argue, but when it comes to being ignorant and mean, keep it to yourself. What's the point of it? You will only be seen as an ignorant person that never left their country, a close minded person who got nothing to do all day except proving to the world how rude you can be. Comments such as " Le prix nobel de la paix qui a continué le boulot de Bush en tuant des civils innocents en Irak, Afghanistant, Libye, Syrie, Yemen, Pakistant....! Sans parler bien sure tous les afro-americains qui lui ont fait confiance!"
Roughly translates as," The Nobel peace price who continue Bush's work by killing innocent civilians in Irak, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria, Yemen, Pakistan...Without obviously talking about all the African- Americans who believed him." 

When people talk like this without being ashamed of themselves, should really start reading books and move out of their country to realize that a lot of facts aren't at all true, these facts are just opinions! French people should start looking at their own country that seems to deteriorate at the speed of light! In a couple of years, France will only be another poor country just like in  Russia. 

When we hear France, we think food, wine, and how terrible they are at war. Military part, no one goes to the military anymore that's why we are so terrible at it, that's why they always will need some other country to save their poor asses! I don't want to be mean, but when you get put down by another French person, you only want to put them down as well and in the most civil way possible. I don't think I'm going to be polite or be open minded to arguments coming from any of them. This little Facebook comment was another drop, another mistake from them. It made me remember how I got the French community against me because I simply put out that the German team had played extremely well in a soccer game. It was like I was a traitor to my country. Just because I don't support France doesn't mean I'm a traitor, I won't support a country that is proving to the world how idiotic they are! And yes, in my opinion, they deserve Marine Le Pen as their new president! French people have everything, financial support, health support, yet they complain, yet they let strikes go on and on and on forever! With complete honesty, they should come to the US, see how it is to live in a different country where the financial support isn't available as much as France. But then again, French people like their little boring lives where half of their time is spent on Facebook playing games and insult, other people. 


I'm ashamed, I'm discouraged about France. After all the history, fighting and getting free from Kings and Queens... The country should be ashamed for electing a disastrous government, for believing the media, for being ignorant! Read, talk to older people to know what went on before they were born, and don't start arguments when you obviously don't know what you are talking about! There is no need to talk when you don't have enough arguments to back your story up! 

When I see France, my birth country, all I see is a country that lives in the past, that never move forward. When I see France, I see the hate against Germany, yes they have done a lot of horrifying things in the past, but it's in the past, don't blame the entire German community for Hitler's actions. By the way, he is dead, so no need to be bitter anymore, what's done is done. It's a lesson that shouldn't have been acted on, but it did happen. Don't you think Germans don't have to deal with their own history as well, that they didn't pay enough? It's easy to manipulate people, we see it every day, so start moving on and let your country be at their best instead of destroying it each day!

The level of ignorance is high, and it's only the start! I'm afraid of saying I'm French now, lucky, no one really thinks I look French anyways. Deep down, I'm suffering from French people's actions and saying. Every day I think to myself how lucky I am to be far from France because I wouldn't want to be there anymore. 

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."- Martin Luther King Jr.

~Bella

Some YouTubers meals...

As you may know already, I'm quite the fan of the SIDEMEN which are a group of YouTubers from Britain. They wrote a book about their past, games, routines, and even recipes. 

I thought I would share Simon (Miniminter) who happens to be my favorite YouTuber and Josh (Zerkaa)'s recipes.They cook for one another which I find sweet!

Simon's Meal for Simon and Josh

"As Josh and me are usually up and about at the same time we sometimes take turns to cook for each other. Sweet, I know, but it's not like we have a candlelit dinner or anything like that. Honest! Anyway, if you fancy a Josh and Simon special here you go:"


Ingredients:
Beef and red wine ravioli
Cheese and tomato tortellini
Tomato mascarpone sauce
Parmesan cheese
Cathedral City pre-grated cheddar cheese
Salt 
Italian herbs

Method:
1. Put the ravioli and tortellini into boiling water.
2. Add salt and Italian herbs.
3. Cook tomato mascarpone sauce.
4.Remove the water when the pasta is cooked and add the tomato mascarpone sauce.
5. Chuck a load of Parmesan cheese and pre-grated cheddar on top/
6. Keep adding cheese until there is a mini mountain.
7. Eat!

Josh's Meal for Josh and Simon

"Come to think of it, my meal for Simon is actually pretty similar to his meal for me. Maybe that's why we only like cooking for each other?"

Ingredients:
500g minced beef
Dolmio Bolognese sauce
Farfalle pasta 
Cheddar cheese
Parmesan Cheese

Method:
1. Cook the mince in a pan until it's brown.
2. Turn down the hob.
3. Add Dolmio sauce.
4. Boil water in a saucepan and add pasta.
5. Grate the cheese.
6. When the pasta is cooked remove the water from the saucepan with a colander.
7. Put the pasta and mince onto a plate.
8. Liberally sprinkle the Parmesan grated cheddar. 
9. Serve to a very happy Simon.

Both recipes are amazing, especially if you enjoy pasta as much as I do! They are both delicious, both slightly different which makes both recipes quite special! 

You should definitely try them if you are interested in having two dinners with two pasta recipes! 

"Life is a combination of magic and pasta." - Federico Fellini

~Bella