Time Apart...

Little side note to my dear mother who's birthday was yesterday, Happy Birthday!

Can spending time away from your partner help your relationship, save it from destroying itself?

A question which doesn't have a concrete answer, nothing to prove it will fix a relationship, everyone deals with important situations differently. 
Throughout the little experience I had and seeing lots of relationships fail, I can consider myself lucky enough to have seen how taking time for ourselves may help fix a few issues that you may have in your relationship. 

Taking a break doesn't mean go back on a hunting ground, sleep with others. If you want to look for someone else, it will be a breakup and not a break. Wanting to sleep somewhere else, not wanting to take some time off to gather around your mind just means you want to break away from the relationship, so now it's up to you either you want to end the relationship or take some time off. 

I would personally take some time off the relationship when the apologies, sweet words, compliments don't work anymore. We all make mistakes and apologizing is a big deal, not many of us can take responsibility for their actions. If my partner wouldn't take it in consideration then, it's time for a break. 
Next, the "miss" emotion that you once had is gone. The things you used to do, cute messages before bedtime, the few moments spent together before going back home to deal with other things. When you live with your partner, the "miss" feeling fades away, and sometimes we need to miss the other person to understand how much they mean to you!
Obviously, there is that moment when arguments are louder than your apologies. Fights take over your life, and you two no longer hear each other talk. Arguments happen, we can't always be on the same page, but when the only thing you do is fight, constantly point the finger on the other, making them feel horrible, take a break. No need for a breakup, but let some time to pass by, get your calm back, focus on what really matters may help. Not hearing your partner is a sign of a bigger issue. 

Taking some time off is helpful! Having some alone time is appreciated, but we forget how much we need this special time because we have been with our partner for so long. In order to gather around our train of thoughts, our feelings back together can only be done when you are far from your relationship. Being away from your partner could end up being beneficial. I ain't telling you to move on and sleep around, party all night long! I'm telling you to go out, take some time off, be with yourself, ask yourself questions such as "Do I miss him/her?", see your flaws, your wrongs, and what you can do to make the relationship better. 
It sounds simple when I put it down on a blank page, but on the contrary. 
Taking time off from a relationship, from your loved one is harder than it seems. It takes courage to tell them that you need to gather yourself for a bit, away from the relationship. 

Have you ever looked at your partner and felt tired, bored? It does happen after a long time, especially if you let the routine run your life. It will most likely ruin the fun you once had. Boredom is a sign of getting tired of either your partner's behaviors or the situation which keeps happening. So when I think about a break, I think about the set of new fresh eyes, the new perspective to give to the relationship. 

Now, the issue about taking breaks is being on the same page, being understandable, and making sure that a break doesn't mean a breakup. Establishing some ground rules, making sure that's what you really want and not just a way to escape the reality. And you have to accept the fact that taking a break may take you a step closer to an actual breakup. It may seem like it could help bring a couple closer, but in fact, it can do the opposite especially now with our society and the temptations which keep coming at us. 
Make sure you communicate the boundaries, what the next step will be, and be determined to stay together. 

If you are both on the same page, communication happen, there is a pretty good chance that the break will do a lot more good than bad. 

"Let there be spaces in your togetherness." - Khalil Gibran

~Bella

Does Religion Should Matter? (3)

Debates... Agree to disagree once again...

The should it matter is another way to start giving our opinions, and this one isn't easy!

As you may alright know, some subjects are far from easy-going nor pleasant to converse such as politics but as well as religion!

When I think about religion I think about my own, I was born Catholic even though I do not practice or have a difficult time believe in it all, it's still part of who I am. Now, it never came as an issue to anyone nor my ex-boyfriends. None of them asked or been bothered by what I believe in, which is technically not a specific religion.

Being in love with someone who read a different religious book than you, may affect the way you may want to raise your children in, later in life. But, if you both know how to manage both religions, I believe there is a great future for you and the family.
Now, before jumping into the future conclusion of the difficulties of what should your children believe in, let's start at the beginning of the story!

Falling in love is easy! Falling in love with someone who's religion is the opposite of yours is possible! A happy relationship will happen, religion doesn't make you sadder or happier, it's what you believe in. It could lead to lots of arguments especially if you are not open-minded and accept your partner's religion. It takes a lot to accept someone's flaws so religion wise, it could be difficult especially when you practice your religion to the letter.
Members of one religion could value the same things, so how could partners get along when they have different morals, believes... Arguing, being closed-minded, stubborn enough to not let go of your determination of what people should believe in. It's similar to a couple who are fighting on either they will go out for dinner or stay home to dine. Fixing issues or disagreements is easy when you both talk,  so why should it be otherwise with religion? Why can't we talk and see what's best to do instead of raising our voices? Why should we get into violent arguments over the subject?

Religions have been, in fact, one of the reasons for wars. Wars need reasons to happen, money and religion are usually the cause of it. Today, we see it with Muslims. Because of a few of the religion (so they say they believe in), we have to think they are all bad. Should we start defining who a person is by what they believe in? If that's the case then Christianity has done a lot more, how many did we kill for the Christ? How many people fought for what they believed in? Plenty, but is there any writing saying you should kill for what you believe in? Is there any Bible, Quran or any other religious books that state you should kill another human being? People who use their religion to explain their behaviors, saying or actions are not everybody. These people are in fact not religious or else they wouldn't do what they do. 
Faith isn't murder, it might be a difficult subject to talk about, but that's only human beings aren't open-minded. People are now determined to stick with their own story, not wanting to hear anyone's opinion, and then you complain about wars, well maybe if we listened more, things would differ! 
Relationships are exactly the same. If two people don't communicate, don't listen to one another, how will the relationship grow, how will you be happy? Without communicating no one can understand what the other person think. If you live with each other, discussing religions, carefully, is one way to avoid arguments. Surely, being open-minded to another alternative would make a relationship grown instead of letting if fall apart. 

As Orin, a YouTuber said: 

It doesn't matter what you believe in, it's about the person you are. 

In a relationship, the only way to figure it all out, you both have to talk to find the right way to let the relation grow. Religion isn't politic, isn't a crime, and it's only the faith you put into someone or something, it's what makes you, you. No one should judge you for what you believe in if they do... Maybe you should revise the situation.... No one wants to have an unhappy relationship where both people have to hide who they are, what they believe in. 

"In every religion, there is love, yet love has no religion."

~Bella

Another fight, another country...

If you are French, DO NOT TAKE THIS ARTICLE FOR YOU! Not everyone is the same! Please DO NOT judge MY opinion!  


Flash news,  I was born in France, spent about 10 years of my life in this country, and moved to the States right after! 

No, I won't be talking about how important the change was or how it proved me that living in another country might be beneficial! This article is about my birth country because let's be honest it's only my birth country! It's about being ashamed of being born in France! Not patriotic of me, I apologize in advance!

France is quite an old country with plenty of history, lots of corruption, and amazing food (can't deny that). People are on strike, often, or complain on other days.
I complain all the time, it's quite disturbing, to say the least, and I blame my culture behind this flaw. Might be my birth country, but I try to keep the French side of me away from everyone, even at work. 

I live in the US who happens to be the "terrible two", they act like 2 years old toddlers who think they can do anything they wish. They proved it with Trump's election. I won't go back to the story, what's done is done, can't change the past. But we can change some people's view about it! 

Last night, on a French press article about Obama leaving office and his last speech on Facebook, a woman (my dear mother) commented, quite simple, nothing mean for that matter. My mother isn't the politic type of person (I think I take from her), but she was right, we are sad to see such a president leave office. No one is perfect, humans make mistakes, but Obama did a lot of good, especially after a terrible, horrifying president like the one we had before, our famous Bush. Now, it's a French article, lots of blah blah to make people sleepy, but French people don't think so. 
Last night (for us), many commented back on my mother's post with amazing comments and so not nice comments as well. We can't be all on the same page... Life would be boring! I read a few comments this morning, saw a lot of displeased sayings, and I came to the conclusion that people, in general, are quite ignorant! 
We all say Americans are ignorant, which is part true, but we forget to mention how French people can also be ignorant, especially when it comes to politics, Germany, food, military, football (soccer) and I pass on the other subjects. 

I've been ashamed of being French for a while now, I've got reasons, but this little Facebook comment just went up the roof! People will deliberately be offended by truthful comments because they think they know more... Flash news, the news on TV, newspapers, or online news don't always tell you the truth or tell half of it just for the sake of it. Don't believe it all, please, it will save us from ignorant comments such as the ones I saw on Facebook. We are free to say what we think, free to tell our opinions, to argue, but when it comes to being ignorant and mean, keep it to yourself. What's the point of it? You will only be seen as an ignorant person that never left their country, a close minded person who got nothing to do all day except proving to the world how rude you can be. Comments such as " Le prix nobel de la paix qui a continué le boulot de Bush en tuant des civils innocents en Irak, Afghanistant, Libye, Syrie, Yemen, Pakistant....! Sans parler bien sure tous les afro-americains qui lui ont fait confiance!"
Roughly translates as," The Nobel peace price who continue Bush's work by killing innocent civilians in Irak, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria, Yemen, Pakistan...Without obviously talking about all the African- Americans who believed him." 

When people talk like this without being ashamed of themselves, should really start reading books and move out of their country to realize that a lot of facts aren't at all true, these facts are just opinions! French people should start looking at their own country that seems to deteriorate at the speed of light! In a couple of years, France will only be another poor country just like in  Russia. 

When we hear France, we think food, wine, and how terrible they are at war. Military part, no one goes to the military anymore that's why we are so terrible at it, that's why they always will need some other country to save their poor asses! I don't want to be mean, but when you get put down by another French person, you only want to put them down as well and in the most civil way possible. I don't think I'm going to be polite or be open minded to arguments coming from any of them. This little Facebook comment was another drop, another mistake from them. It made me remember how I got the French community against me because I simply put out that the German team had played extremely well in a soccer game. It was like I was a traitor to my country. Just because I don't support France doesn't mean I'm a traitor, I won't support a country that is proving to the world how idiotic they are! And yes, in my opinion, they deserve Marine Le Pen as their new president! French people have everything, financial support, health support, yet they complain, yet they let strikes go on and on and on forever! With complete honesty, they should come to the US, see how it is to live in a different country where the financial support isn't available as much as France. But then again, French people like their little boring lives where half of their time is spent on Facebook playing games and insult, other people. 


I'm ashamed, I'm discouraged about France. After all the history, fighting and getting free from Kings and Queens... The country should be ashamed for electing a disastrous government, for believing the media, for being ignorant! Read, talk to older people to know what went on before they were born, and don't start arguments when you obviously don't know what you are talking about! There is no need to talk when you don't have enough arguments to back your story up! 

When I see France, my birth country, all I see is a country that lives in the past, that never move forward. When I see France, I see the hate against Germany, yes they have done a lot of horrifying things in the past, but it's in the past, don't blame the entire German community for Hitler's actions. By the way, he is dead, so no need to be bitter anymore, what's done is done. It's a lesson that shouldn't have been acted on, but it did happen. Don't you think Germans don't have to deal with their own history as well, that they didn't pay enough? It's easy to manipulate people, we see it every day, so start moving on and let your country be at their best instead of destroying it each day!

The level of ignorance is high, and it's only the start! I'm afraid of saying I'm French now, lucky, no one really thinks I look French anyways. Deep down, I'm suffering from French people's actions and saying. Every day I think to myself how lucky I am to be far from France because I wouldn't want to be there anymore. 

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."- Martin Luther King Jr.

~Bella