Time Apart...

Little side note to my dear mother who's birthday was yesterday, Happy Birthday!

Can spending time away from your partner help your relationship, save it from destroying itself?

A question which doesn't have a concrete answer, nothing to prove it will fix a relationship, everyone deals with important situations differently. 
Throughout the little experience I had and seeing lots of relationships fail, I can consider myself lucky enough to have seen how taking time for ourselves may help fix a few issues that you may have in your relationship. 

Taking a break doesn't mean go back on a hunting ground, sleep with others. If you want to look for someone else, it will be a breakup and not a break. Wanting to sleep somewhere else, not wanting to take some time off to gather around your mind just means you want to break away from the relationship, so now it's up to you either you want to end the relationship or take some time off. 

I would personally take some time off the relationship when the apologies, sweet words, compliments don't work anymore. We all make mistakes and apologizing is a big deal, not many of us can take responsibility for their actions. If my partner wouldn't take it in consideration then, it's time for a break. 
Next, the "miss" emotion that you once had is gone. The things you used to do, cute messages before bedtime, the few moments spent together before going back home to deal with other things. When you live with your partner, the "miss" feeling fades away, and sometimes we need to miss the other person to understand how much they mean to you!
Obviously, there is that moment when arguments are louder than your apologies. Fights take over your life, and you two no longer hear each other talk. Arguments happen, we can't always be on the same page, but when the only thing you do is fight, constantly point the finger on the other, making them feel horrible, take a break. No need for a breakup, but let some time to pass by, get your calm back, focus on what really matters may help. Not hearing your partner is a sign of a bigger issue. 

Taking some time off is helpful! Having some alone time is appreciated, but we forget how much we need this special time because we have been with our partner for so long. In order to gather around our train of thoughts, our feelings back together can only be done when you are far from your relationship. Being away from your partner could end up being beneficial. I ain't telling you to move on and sleep around, party all night long! I'm telling you to go out, take some time off, be with yourself, ask yourself questions such as "Do I miss him/her?", see your flaws, your wrongs, and what you can do to make the relationship better. 
It sounds simple when I put it down on a blank page, but on the contrary. 
Taking time off from a relationship, from your loved one is harder than it seems. It takes courage to tell them that you need to gather yourself for a bit, away from the relationship. 

Have you ever looked at your partner and felt tired, bored? It does happen after a long time, especially if you let the routine run your life. It will most likely ruin the fun you once had. Boredom is a sign of getting tired of either your partner's behaviors or the situation which keeps happening. So when I think about a break, I think about the set of new fresh eyes, the new perspective to give to the relationship. 

Now, the issue about taking breaks is being on the same page, being understandable, and making sure that a break doesn't mean a breakup. Establishing some ground rules, making sure that's what you really want and not just a way to escape the reality. And you have to accept the fact that taking a break may take you a step closer to an actual breakup. It may seem like it could help bring a couple closer, but in fact, it can do the opposite especially now with our society and the temptations which keep coming at us. 
Make sure you communicate the boundaries, what the next step will be, and be determined to stay together. 

If you are both on the same page, communication happen, there is a pretty good chance that the break will do a lot more good than bad. 

"Let there be spaces in your togetherness." - Khalil Gibran

~Bella

Insanity over love...

Have you ever felt like you were doing something insane because of someone? Or did something completely ridiculous to impress them?

Sometimes, it happens, you end up doing something completely crazy, odd. They are signs that mean you may have fallen in love! We all feel it, understand whenever we have fallen in love, but somehow at times, we are afraid of what the reality might be.

Being in love with someone means you have to take full on responsibility on the terrifying situations that may come along with it like jealousy. There are many things people may be afraid of, commitment, falling in love with the wrong person, not sure if you know if the other person likes you back...

So many questions may pop up, get you stressed... Even if you don't say "I love you" or tell them how you feel, there are pretty good chances that you fell in love unconsciously which sometimes isn't such a bad thing!

After seeing my friends, people back when I was still at school, or even my experiences, I picked up on little actions that we end up doing when we like someone.

- You have to check your phone every couple of minutes or even seconds in some cases. Not like you are whenever you are playing a game, it's more like a check up on knowing if you still have service, or if you haven't missed a call or text from the other person... Don't lie to yourself, you've done it!

- You can't stop thinking about them, everything reminds you of them! You went to see a movie at a certain place so now you've been seeing memories of it! Can't stop wishing they were there with you, sharing a moment!

- Can't seem to talk about anything else. Everything has to have their names in each phrase you say!

- Take everything wrong if your best friend says something negative about your crush! You will become upset!

- You have definitely turned the page on your ex-boyfriend.

- Boring stuff may not seem so boring anymore! You may be at CVS picking some medication and somehow it's nice!

- ADD becomes real! You can't seem to concentrate at work, school, interview!


All you have to know is that no matter what you may say, do or think. The biggest issue about not seeing that you may be in love is DENIAL! Not seeing the truth isn't what will get you somewhere!

"Denial is the beginning of the end."

~Bella

That many friends? Are you sure?

Do you believe you need a thousand friends?

 We as human, need friends, people to converse with because we are social creatures! Can't change that, sorry! We need others to survive, without anyone around, we may lose our mind, and that my friend isn't good news!
Studies have shown that we are at our best when we have friends. True friends!

There is a dark side of having these so-called friends, though it's typically the opposite! As you know, we don't exactly really know someone by heart, we would like to think so, but let's be real, we don't! Humans are capable of a lot of different things, murdering someone, rape, stabbing someone close in the back with words, rat you out to a teacher because you cheated on a test... We don't know people! Anything can happen, our brain is a powerful tool, it controls your moves, it will go from happy you, to jealous and destructive you in a matter of seconds. A situation can change someone's perspective on an issue or life decisions. One day, you'll be the happiest person alive with amazing friends who got your back and the next day nobody is behind you because of something you said or did. Life has obstacles, life is difficult, life is challenging! We, humans, don't fully understand how we work, but I can say that no matter what having friends has its advantages if we are careful enough about the people we let in our lives. 

Real friends will try their best to make you smile over the phone, will try to ease your hard day with a good movie and pizza, they will spend five minutes to take their phones and text you just to see if you are doing okay! Real friends are the ones that will be honest, won't be scared to tell you the horrible truth about you to your face. They won't care if you are sick at home, they will call you or come to you directly. Real friends don't forget you, no matter what, they will always have your back! 

A friend of mine went through a rough path, I couldn't get a hold of him for about a month, I texted him, called him, left voicemails... I went crazy on him! Told him that I was worried, no news means bad news, so I thought he only disappeared on me as what guys tend to do (at least in my case). My experience with guys disappearing on me is getting old, and to be fair, I'm sure not every guy is like that, but somehow I attract these guys! Why would it have been different for my friend? To be exact, he didn't disappear, he was at the hospital with no access to his cell phone. The anger was enormous, I couldn't believe it! He texted a few weeks ago, telling me what was going on, and I felt terrible for being so mad at him. The first thing he said was that he was happy to know that I was still caring even without receiving any messages back. I was still trying to get a hold of him, and it did kind of make him cry. 
It's called friendship even from far, you can always show your support and how much you care about them! My friend was at the hospital, I didn't know anything about it, I was angry at him for not replying, I told him, felt bad afterwards, but I continued to show that I was still there on the phone trying to care and support him. If I can do that, so can you! 
This works for relationships as well... Two people in love with one another, they will do anything for the person, wait patiently, start over to redo something wrong, they will listen to each other's issues, they will be there to support! That again if you are careful enough to know who to trust and not to trust! Some people show a mask, a double personality to hide who they truly are for different reasons like they are afraid the other won't like them for who they are so they pretend to like the same thing, play the same sport, go to the same library... 

Being real in this time period is quite difficult, challenging if I may say! We believe what we see on social media, rumors, what the press say about the pop star who had a diet so you do the same... Society, today, is becoming a complete nightmare! We see all these beautiful people on magazines and try to be like them, to act like them for what exactly? So we can be liked by other people? 
Friends don't care how you dress, how you comb your hair, what type of perfume or makeup you wear. They are your friends because of what you do, say, give, and project. It's about what's in your brain and heart, not what you pretend to be. 

Do we need that many friends to survive? 
In my opinion, I don't think so! Real friends aren't discovered in every household! You can have friends that are more acquaintance than your best friend. You can have hundreds of friends, sure, but how many of them can you count on if you are in big trouble? Who will come to rescue you from danger, who would take a bullet for you?  I always believed that your boyfriend or girlfriend should be a best friend as well... Don't ask me why I'm sure you get the point! 

Choose your friend carefully, your partner carefully! If you find and believe in one person even if it's the wrong time to become friends or lovers, don't give up on them, no matter what happens! These people deserve you, deserve your care and support as well as your love! Don't let the people that check up on you to see if you are holding up slip away from you! Start becoming determined, real friends, real partners are rare nowadays! Don't miss out on anything, we don't know what may happen tomorrow!

"My life is good because I am not passive about it. I invest in what is real. Like real people, to do real things, for the real me." - Gwyneth Paltrow.

~Bella