Friday 7 October 2016

That many friends? Are you sure?

Do you believe you need a thousand friends?
 We as human, need friends, people to converse with because we are social creatures! Can't change that, sorry! We need others to survive, without anyone around, we may lose our mind, and that my friend isn't good news!
Studies have shown that we are at our best when we have friends. True friends!

There is a dark side of having these so-called friends, though it's typically the opposite! As you know, we don't exactly really know someone by heart, we would like to think so, but let's be real, we don't! Humans are capable of a lot of different things, murdering someone, rape, stabbing someone close in the back with words, rat you out to a teacher because you cheated on a test... We don't know people! Anything can happen, our brain is a powerful tool, it controls your moves, it will go from happy you, to jealous and destructive you in a matter of seconds. A situation can change someone's perspective on an issue or life decisions. One day, you'll be the happiest person alive with amazing friends who got your back and the next day nobody is behind you because of something you said or did. Life has obstacles, life is difficult, life is challenging! We, humans, don't fully understand how we work, but I can say that no matter what having friends has its advantages if we are careful enough about the people we let in our lives. 


Real friends will try their best to make you smile over the phone, will try to ease your hard day with a good movie and pizza, they will spend five minutes to take their phones and text you just to see if you are doing okay! Real friends are the ones that will be honest, won't be scared to tell you the horrible truth about you to your face. They won't care if you are sick at home, they will call you or come to you directly. Real friends don't forget you, no matter what, they will always have your back! 

A friend of mine went through a rough path, I couldn't get a hold of him for about a month, I texted him, called him, left voicemails... I went crazy on him! Told him that I was worried, no news means bad news, so I thought he only disappeared on me as what guys tend to do (at least in my case). My experience with guys disappearing on me is getting old, and to be fair, I'm sure not every guy is like that, but somehow I attract these guys! Why would it have been different for my friend? To be exact, he didn't disappear, he was at the hospital with no access to his cell phone. The anger was enormous, I couldn't believe it! He texted a few weeks ago, telling me what was going on, and I felt terrible for being so mad at him. The first thing he said was that he was happy to know that I was still caring even without receiving any messages back. I was still trying to get a hold of him, and it did kind of make him cry. 
It's called friendship even from far, you can always show your support and how much you care about them! My friend was at the hospital, I didn't know anything about it, I was angry at him for not replying, I told him, felt bad afterwards, but I continued to show that I was still there on the phone trying to care and support him. If I can do that, so can you! 
This works for relationships as well... Two people in love with one another, they will do anything for the person, wait patiently, start over to redo something wrong, they will listen to each other's issues, they will be there to support! That again if you are careful enough to know who to trust and not to trust! Some people show a mask, a double personality to hide who they truly are for different reasons like they are afraid the other won't like them for who they are so they pretend to like the same thing, play the same sport, go to the same library... 

Being real in this time period is quite difficult, challenging if I may say! We believe what we see on social media, rumors, what the press say about the pop star who had a diet so you do the same... Society, today, is becoming a complete nightmare! We see all these beautiful people on magazines and try to be like them, to act like them for what exactly? So we can be liked by other people? 
Friends don't care how you dress, how you comb your hair, what type of perfume or makeup you wear. They are your friends because of what you do, say, give, and project. It's about what's in your brain and heart, not what you pretend to be. 

Do we need that many friends to survive? 
In my opinion, I don't think so! Real friends aren't discovered in every household! You can have friends that are more acquaintance than your best friend. You can have hundreds of friends, sure, but how many of them can you count on if you are in big trouble? Who will come to rescue you from danger, who would take a bullet for you?  I always believed that your boyfriend or girlfriend should be a best friend as well... Don't ask me why I'm sure you get the point! 

Choose your friend carefully, your partner carefully! If you find and believe in one person even if it's the wrong time to become friends or lovers, don't give up on them, no matter what happens! These people deserve you, deserve your care and support as well as your love! Don't let the people that check up on you to see if you are holding up slip away from you! Start becoming determined, real friends, real partners are rare nowadays! Don't miss out on anything, we don't know what may happen tomorrow!

"My life is good because I am not passive about it. I invest in what is real. Like real people, to do real things, for the real me." - Gwyneth Paltrow.

~Bella



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