The Book Of Symbol 12...

IRIS

A low bridge zigzags through a stand of blue irises with fresh green stalks. On a golden Japanese screen, the irises are are perpetually alive, a vivid reminder of both springtime's renewal and absent love. In the painting, the artist alludes to an episode in the tenth-century litterary classics, the Tales of Ise. After a failed love affair, the story's hero, accompanied by a group of friends, leaves the capital for the east in order to start life anew. At a bridge that passes through blooming irises, they compose a poem about nostalgia, love and loss (ARAS, 1:367).

Irises and Zigzag Bridges, by Ogata Korin, painted 

screen, ca. 18th century, Japan.

The iris is a genus of about 300 species of flowering plants that for millennia have been prized for their daxxling colors. The number of the iris' stunning natural varieties has been augmented by the extensive use of selective breeding. The flower ranges in color from near black to blue and violet through vermilion, orange, yellow and white, and is often variegated with strongly contrasting hues (Westrich,17). It is this multicolor display of the iris that is responsible for its appellation. Iris, meaning "reainbow" in classical Greek, was the messenger of the Olympian gods. Her emblem was the rainbow of many colors, the bridge by which she traveled between heaven and earth with her divine messages. Analogously, the "iris" is what gives the eye its color.

Lusty mysterious, this iris reflects the deep 

reproductive patterns underlying romance and life.

Black Iris, by Georgia O'Keeffe, oil on canvas, 1926.

United States.

Striking not only for its colors, however, but also for its sensual nature, the iris has phallic, sword-shaped leaves surrounding distinctive blossoms consisting of three erect petals and three larger outer petallike sepals. The latter suggest, as in Georgia O'Keeffe's Black Iris, the form and enticement of the feminine genitalia, even if the artist denied that she had such imagery in mind (Wright, 65). While the flower of the iris is not noted for its scent, "essence of violet" perfume is made from orrisroot, derived from the varieties of iris that grow, not from a bulb, but a rhizome, a creeping underground stem (Enc.Brit. 6:384).

Medicinal properties accompany the sensual pleasures of iris. On an Egyptian hieroglyph of an iris carved in stone 3,500 years ago was a list of medicinal plants. The ancient Greeks documented the flower's internal and external uses (Westrich, 9, 12). Traditionally, Japancelebrates an Iris Festival in May, when the flower is publicly displayed and men and women wear bulbs and take baths in which irises have been floating, in order to insure good health and virility (ARAS, 1:367). The iris is also believed to protect against disease and evil spirits (Baird, 85).

The goddess Iris was a messenger of the gods, and 

traveled on a rainbow between Olympus and the earth.

Iris was honored by the planting of her flower on the 

gravees of women, since it was she who led their souls to 

the Elysian Fields (Lehner, 64). The Niobides Painter,

5th century B.C.E., Greece.

The diverse, exquisite hues of "iris," reflected in flower, rainbow and eye, correspond, in the alchemical fantasy, to the "peacock's tail," the brilliant omnes colores that represent the integration of all qualities in the Stone. Just as Iris heralded the approach of the gods, so, psychologically, the show of "many colors" heralds the transcendent self in which the many facets of the personality, once opposing each other, are brought into a unity (CW 14:388ff).

Baird, Merrily C. Symbols of Japan. NY, 2001.

Lehner, Ernst and Johanna Lehner. Folklore and 

Symbolism of Flowers, Plants and Trees. NY, 1960.

Westrich, Josh and Ben R. Hager. The Iris:

The Rainbow Flower. NY, 1989.

Wright, Susan. Georgia O'Keeffe: An Eternal Spirit.

NY, 2009.

~Bella

The bloody question that never get answered!

WARNING: I won't say real names because I don't think it's necessary... I don't want you to continue reading if you don't want to know about narcissism! It's only my experience, what I saw and had to endure. I don't need you to lecture me about not having a psychology degree, I don't think I need one to know exactly what I saw. I did on the other side took classes, and read many textbooks, learned from experiences as well as others. Please, don't think you are living under the same roof as a person who may seem like a narcissist, just because you act a bit like one doesn't make you one! It's like you can be distracted, compulsive and not have a disorder.

Narcissism is a personality disorder which may impact those surrounding the affected person as much as themselves just like anxiety may does. Quite difficult to notice at first, but as the disorder progresses, the symptoms and associates traits/ behaviors become more pronounced. A personality disorder is simply a pattern of thoughts or behaviors that are significantly different from those expected in a specific culture or society. Just because you may have a set of pattern doesn't mean you have a disorder!

I have lived under the same roof of a narcissistic person, and to be honest, it wasn't a piece of pie, a joyful moment. Narcissists do not do well under overwhelming emotions, or feelings, when someone tells them their issues, the words come through, but the lack of concern about their emotion isn't present. Out of these emotions, anger and fear come along, fright the narcissistic person, who will find a way to transfer or assign blame to someone or something if these emotions rush in. Somehow, if the person breaks something, they will try and blame the person who gave them the object, not taking responsibility for their action. 
There are times when we have an angry reaction, throw plates onto the wall, or punching a chair, after all, if there is some type of stress in your life, it is understandable to be angry. Now, if it becomes a normal behavior, then you may consider it a sign of "something is wrong". 
I personally had to deal with grandiosity! This is overlooked by many of us; it could seem like it's bragging, but it's more than this! 
Grandiosity is being unrealistic! It's when an individual has a very inflated view of him or herself that they then portray to the outside world. They become louder than everyone else around only to show they are, the bigger person in the room. Tendencies of dressing well, showing off to the world in case someone important comes along... Feeling superior to others, even his wife or her husband becomes real. No matter what, they will say or do, nothing is good enough for the person who suffers from narcissism. The person uses his contacts for his own deal, nothing more, nothing less. 
Humans take advantage of people in general, but somehow we also manage to give something back, in return, but narcissistic people won't do anything for anyone, yet, they will continue to take advantage, use everyone, freely. The word, "sorry" doesn't go through, it never comes up, the responsibility of their actions are denied, and apologies are forgotten! Never will they apologize.

When you live under the same roof as a person who shows a narcissist side, you begin to see everything wrong with the person, nothing goes right. It's almost as you feel insecure around them, unaware of what the person may do next. Since, most of them are unpredictable when it comes to their emotions, and how manipulative they can be if something doesn't go their way, this may result in you being afraid, frightened. Again, seeing and accepting the traits that they are showing can be complex, not always easy to recognize the behaviors. After all, narcissists are generous with their advice, time, and often even their money. If they do give you their time, advice, it's not for you, it's for themselves! It's to show how intelligent they are to you, show how good they can manage situations, time, money. They know you are going to listen to them, confident enough in their own skin to think they are unpredictable. 
Don't think they can't love or form a bond, they can indeed do, just differently from us, they form bonds based on utility. They won't call you, check up on how you are doing, they only need to converse with you to get something... Narcissism isn't an easy disorder, it may be hard to recognize mostly because each trait that make up a narcissistic person could be given to everyone else. We all feel anger, fear, use people for our own good, like to be right, feel confident enough that we feel superior to others... But if this type of behavior is becoming "normal", you may consider it narcissism. 

Living with a person who only think about themselves, only listen what they want, understand what they want, and making everyone feel horrible for mistake they did. Some questions may help you recognize if you are one or they are...

1. Do you consider yourself smarter than most, if not, all of the people around you? If so, do you also tend to change the path of conversations to the things you know, think and have?

2. DO you consider yourself above reproach? Many times, a narcissist will think - the rules don't apply to me. They are in place to keep other people in line, but I can break a rule here and there, because I understand how rules work and should be applied. 

3. Do you get angry when someone offers your constructive criticism, or do you sometimes mistake other people's words as direct criticism of your personally? 

4. Do you apologize? Many narcissists refuse to ever apologize, even when they are entirely at fault. For example, if you unknowingly hurt someone's feelings, do you offer words of apology?

5. Do you blame your emotions on others? A narcissist is often unable to cope with or accept his or her own emotions. Do you attribute your anger to the actions of others? Do you rely on others to supply your happiness, leaving them open to blame should something go wrong?

6. Do you feel that your life and well being is more important than anyone else's? A narcissist will have very little genuine interest in other people. 

Now, if you are concerned about narcissism after considering your answers to these questions, then there is probably only a 50% chance that you, personally, are a narcissist. Don't get overwhelmed by it all though... If you are concerned that you are offending others with the behaviors mentioned above, you are taking the time to consider the impact of your actions and reactions to others. 

"When a narcissist can no longer control you, they will instead try to control how others see you."

~Bella

Beautiful names and their meanings...

We all have a name, some love it, others would have preferred to be named something else... My name, as many have told me is either Germanic or Italian, it means beautiful but also a beautiful serpent. Sadly, names originate from a certain place, but over time, other meanings take place, other countries to it for their own, and well, nowaday, it is difficult to know where our name come from and what it means. Names are given to us by our parents, grandparents, family members, another person. We don't choose it, and curiosity may happen, completely normal if you are quite the curious one as myself. You may dislike your name, dislike the fact that you have been given a family name, generation after generation, but a name is personal, it's us, it has a meaning. Our name comes from somewhere, the person that named you had reasons to name you the way they did. Sadly,

they don't always make the best choice, sometimes names just happen to be given because of a popular celebrity, a professional athlete, a song, a movie character... I, personally, rarely use my name, usually, my nickname comes up more often, Bella is just a nickname that I got when I was at the airport by two Italians who called me, Bella. Since that day at the airport, I used it, simple enough for people to say and remember. I like it better than my name but I ain't going to change it even if I had the chance to do so.
Since I've been writing my novel, I've been into names, looking to get the best names for novel characters.
I went through many lists, many books, went back in past family names. Took a while to go through them all, but I fell in love with a few names. I thought I would share the list in case you need name ideas for future kids or if you need to write an essay and cannot write the personal name.

Let's start with the boy names...

Owen-  Irish
Young, warrior, well-born, noble... This wonderful, intriguing name is becoming very popular... One of my favourite names, actually...
Matteo- Italian 
A variation of Matthew which means Gift of God. My mother's friend actually named her son, Matteo, written differently, but it really got me interested in seeing the name spelled in different countries. Matteo is a common name back in Italy, which also happens to be one of my favourite countries! 
Mattia- Italian 
Another variation of Matteo... Italians love their "A". Also, means Gift of God. 
Shawn-Irish
Derived from Sean, an Irish cognate of John, the name means God is gracious. 
Luca- Italian
I know another Italian names but can't get enough of them. Many forms of Luca came up, but this one seems to catch my eye a bit more. It means Light. 
Alexander- Swedish/ Greek
This name as many origins making it difficult to choose one country, the name means, "Defender of Man", "Tough". I'm in love with the name, got it from a Swedish actor who plays in True Blood. 
Damon-Greek
According to Greek legend, Damon and Pythias were friends who lived in Syracuse in the 4th century B.C.
The story goes on about Pythias being sentenced to death, but he was allowed to temporarily go free if Damon took his place in prison. Damon means "To Tame". 
Espen- Norwegian (Scandinavian)
God Bear... Strong and unusual name that many of us misspell... No, it has nothing to do with the sports network, ESPN. 
Mark- English/ British with Latin roots
"Consecrated to the God Mars" or "God of War".
Common derived name from Marcus which was one of the three most common given name in Ancient Rome. 
Conor- Irish
Anglicized form of the Gaelic name Conchobhar which means "dog lover" or "wolf lover". Use in Ireland for centuries, kings got the privilege to be called that way. Many legends have the Gaelic name in, but when Conor came into the place, Ireland adopted it. 

Girls names...

Valentina- Italian
Feminine form of Valentine, a saint's name. The meaning of this name is, "strength", "health". The Latin root Valentinus which is derived from Valens (strong, vigorous, powerful). 
Gwendolyn- Celtic/Welsh/ Breton
A variation of Gwendolen. A quite popular name in the United Sates even though it is pretty Celtic. 
Elowen- Irish/Cornish
Meaning "ELM"
The name is pronounced ehl-OWWaaN or EHL-owWehN. Can be used for girls and boys, but I prefer it for a girl. It wasn't given much before the twentieth century, and I still haven't met anyone with this name...
Rose- Norman/ Germanic
Latin roots "rosa", the original form of a German name, "Hrodheid", composed of the words Hrod (fame) and Heid (kind). When I think of this name I go straight to the movie Titanic, bad idea, but yet I still do it. But many will go for the flower. 
Elaina-Greek
Elaine which is the Old French form of Helen, the name of the famous beauty of the Trojan War story in Greek mythology. There are many forms of Elaina throughout the world, but this one stands out most. 
Thyra-Norwegian (Scandinavian)
Feminine name in honor of the Norse god of War, Tyr. Pretty uncommon name, but it's original, unique and you fall for it...
Davina-Scottish
Beloved or friend, it is the feminine name of David, adopted from the Hebrew. It has some kind of love into the name... 
Klara- Czech
Clear, bright, famous... Many derived names, many forms, and I opted for this one, thought about my favourite Disney movie... 
Alena-Celtic
The name of Alena is, Fair, good-looking. Feminine of Allen or variant of Helen.
Colleen-Irish
From the Irish Cailin meaning "girl" and used by the Irish in the USA and Australia as a way of connecting to their Irish roots. 

Every name is special in their own ways, it may not be original, but it's yours and you make it special, unique! Don't be like me and disliking your name, always going for the nickname, make your name stand out! 

"Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any languages."- Dale Carnegie

~Bella
Ps: I won't stop myself from writing the British way, I have a few things that I like to spell that way, so please do not judge! 

Netflix addict...

As many of you know, I watch plenty of series, TV shows... Mostly American ones, but also British ones. Recently I came across BROADCHURCH which is a British series about a murder scene of a young boy and a detective who comes to the small town to get the killer. 
I first heard about this show via a YouTuber who was watching the new season, she mentioned how amazing the show was, and as you may already guessed, my curiosity ran up. 

Two seasons down in only a day, it couldn't be faster than this. I didn't expect to continue watching episode after episode, but it's exactly what I did without interruption. Spent my entire day on a murder case, a show where the killer would eventually get caught. 
Let's start by saying that it was not your typical show, crime drama. This is beyond anything I ever watched. 
First, the way they planned everything out, laid the entire plot out was near perfection. You never expected what was coming next, always a shocking event, always a surprise which would be unrevealed throughout each episode. The element of surprise was well kept until the right moment. 
Second, each actor made sure they went into the character's personality, their skins. Every single one of them seemed genuine which made the show even better. 
Finally, you don't get bored out of watching it. Can't at all! It makes you want to keep watching it, want you to know more about the events, situation. IT doesn't just make your curiosity come out, but also tears. I don't remember crying this much on a show. I was a baby, emotional, I could put myself in the parent's shoes as well as the detectives who were trying, desperately to find the killer of the eleven years old. 

Boradchurch got my British back on track, quickly. The show reminded me of where I grew up, the scenery looked familiar... The way each little town folks say about each other, how their mentality can affect difficult situations. So when I started watching Broadchurch, the way they all made it seem like it was going to be solved fast, but then as you go on, you realize that there is always something new, something unexpected. 

Growing up in a small town, I can tell you how talkative people are when there's gossip to be made, but when something dramatic, shocking happens, no one comes forward if they got any information. The first season reminded me of where I used to live back in Europe, and it also reminded me of what I wanted to be later on in life. No, not the lawyer but a detective, most likely. The show made me think a lot, analyze each character, made me cry like a baby, and above all, made me realize that sometimes the people closest to you, aren't always the best people.

In order to understand what I'm trying to explain to you, you just have to comprehend by watching the show yourself. I know there is two season on Netflix, the third is coming back as we speak on British televisions, I don't know about the American ones. 

"I do marathons (on Netflix)" 

~Bella

Top 20 questions for dates...

Dating is tough, but getting to know someone at a deeper level is even more difficult! Sometimes, we don't always know what to ask the other person who may be staring right at us, making us speechless...
As nuts as it sounds, some people just don't know what to ask in order to know more about a person... On dates, or even if it's just to know a friend, questions may not come up to you all the sudden. I know I've gone through it before, even got blocked by the person who kept watching me. Feeling uncomfortable enough to lose my thoughts.

I thought I would make a list of twenty questions you may ask your date.

• What is the one thing you would change about yourself?
• What would you do if your parents didn't like your partner?
• Have you ever lost someone close to you before?
• What's your ideal weekend?
• Would you follow your partner if they had to move away?
• Do you believe in second chances?
• What's your idea of a perfect vacation?
• Do you have a bucket list? Did you already cross a few things out?
• What is the craziest thing you ever done and would you do it again?
• If a genie granted you three wishes, what would you wish for?
• What's your biggest regret in life?
• If you could go back in time, would you ever go back and change the past?
• Are you close to your family? If not, why?
• Would you still be friend with an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife?
•  Do you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl?
• What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
• What is a family tradition that you will give to your kids if you ever have some?
• What do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn?
• If you won $1 million, what would you do with it?
• What is your greatest achievement so far?

Questions come up easily if the conversation with the other person is nice enough for you to continue talking to one another. Now, I know how it can be at times, blanks, silence come up. Then, we don't always find the right question to ask to someone in order to know more about them, sometimes the words don't show up. You freeze in place, a lack of communication overcome you, and you don't talk, you don't ask. Finally, fears occurs, making it difficult for everyone to simply talk, ask, afraid to figure something you don't like, afraid of the answer..."Dating" isn't something I'm used to, can't tell you how difficult it can be in front of someone new, and ask questions, getting to know someone, one by one. Easier to hangout with the person, act completely friendly... To me, dating isn't my cup of tea, going on dates seem like a waste of time, you can't ask everything in a date and then judge a person based on what they answered. Then again, you may learn a lot if you take the courage between your hands and ask. It won't kill you! 

"There is no stupid question; stupid people don't ask questions."- Olivia

~Bella

Welcome back Spring...

Let's take these little dresses, shorts back out of the closet! Spring is here! 

As many of you have been waiting for this day to come, well I'm glad to announce you it has finally arrived! Winter is over, the snow, the rain is slowly starting to go away for better days. 

Spring is the best time to achieve a new goal, start new beginnings, it's the season for fresh new opportunities, for me it just means, new reading, new cooking recipes. 

I went through a few British recipes and came across a quite easy salad which made me feel hungry right away. 

Fiery Broccoli and Chestnut Mushroom Salad

Ingredients and Method

* 1 head of broccoli (about 300g total weight)

*2 tablespoons olive oil

*3 shallots, sliced

* 1 large fresh mild red chili, deseeded and cut into julienne (matchstick) strips

*2 tablespoons caster sugar

*2 tablespoons white wine vinegar

*finely grated zest and juice of 1 lemon

*15 fresh chestnut mushrooms, quartered

*sea salt and freshly cracked black pepper (black pepper)

*poppy seeds to garnish

Remove the broccoli florets from the stalk and cut them all to the same size. Cook the florets in a saucepan of boiling salted water for 4-5 minutes or until tender. Drain, refresh in ice water, then drain again and set aside. 

Peel off the outer layer from the broccoli stalk, then use a mandolin to finely slice the stalk into wafer-thin discs. Set aside.

Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a large, non-stick frying pan over a high heat and sauté the shallots for about 5 minutes or until golden. Add the chili, then reduce the heat and sauté for a further 3 minutes. Add the sugar, white wine vinegar, and lemon zest, stir to dissolve the sugar, then bring to the boil. Once the mixture starts to boil, remove the pan from the heat, add the broccoli stalk discs, stir and then transfer to a bowl. Set aside to cool and infuse. 

To cook the mushrooms, wipe the frying pan clean, then heat the remaining oil in the same frying pan over a high heat, add the mushroom quarters, salt and pepper and sauté for about 8 minutes or until golden brown. Stir in the lemon juice. 

Mix the sauté mushrooms, broccoli florets and pickled stalk discs together. Arrange the salad in your chosen bowl or an individual serving plate and garnish with a sprinkling of poppy seeds. The salad is now ready to be served slightly warm or it can be cooled and chilled before serving if you like. 

I personally don't put any chili in the salad even if it doesn't make it that spicy, I prefer not to put it just in case something gets a bit too much for me. For the mushrooms, we can't always get some chestnut mushrooms, sadly, so any mushrooms you may like, please go ahead and use them. 

"No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow."

~Bella

What Would Jane Do? (6)

Do you know how you are when you really like someone? Well, Jane Austen surely did know how to make her characters seem like they really like the man!

Chapter IV. If you really like him

~I suppose there may be a hundred different ways of being in love. - Emma (1815)
~The very first moment I beheld him, my heart was irrevocably gone. - Love and Friendship (1790)
~The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much! - Sense and Sensibility (1811)
~In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
~There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. - Northanger Abbey (1817)
~He is a gentleman, and I am a gentleman's daughter so far we are equal. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
~To her own heart is was a delightful affair, to her imagination, it was even a ridiculous one, but to her reason, her judgment, it was completely a puzzle. - Sense and Sensibility (1811)
~There are such beings in the world... As the creature, you and I should think perfection... But such a person may not come in your way. - Letters 
~If I could but know his heart, everything would become easy.- Sense and Sensibility (1811)
~To flatter and follow others, without being flattered and followed in turn, is but a state of half enjoyment. - Persuasion (1817)
~No man is offended by another man's admiration of the woman only who can make it a torment. -Northanger Abbey (1817)
~How little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together because their passions were stronger than their virtue. -Pride and Prejudice (1813)
~There could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison. -Persuasion (1817)
~She was convinced that she could have been happy with him when it was no longer likely they should meet. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
~You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope... I have loved none but you. - Persuasion (1817)
~Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing, but I have never been in love; it is not my way or my nature, and I do not think I ever shall. - Emma (1815)
~It is my unhappy fate seldom treat people as well as they deserve. - Letters
~This sensation of listlessness, weariness, stupidity, this disinclination to sit down and employ me, this feeling of every. Thing's being dull and insipid about the house! I must be in love; I should be the oddest creature in the world if I were not. - Emma (1815)
~Had I not been bound to silence I could have provided proof enough of a broken heart, even for you. -Sense and Sensibility (1811)
~They parted at last with mutual civility and possibly a mutual desire of never meeting again. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
~It would be difficult to say which had seen highest perfection in the other. Or which happiest: she, in receiving his declarations and proposals, or he in having them accepted. - Persuasion (1817)
~I lay it down as a general rule... That if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. - Emma (1815)
~When I fall in love, it will be forever. - Sense and Sensibility (1811)
~To love is to burn, to be on fire.- Sense and Sensibility (1811)
~If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it. - Emma (1815)
~Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with is the one person you can't be without. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
~Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
~Marriage is indeed a maneuvering business. - Mansfield Park (1814)
~You mistake me, my dear. I have the utmost respect for your nerves. They've been my constant companion these twenty years. -Pride and Prejudice (1813)
~Husbands and wives generally understand when opposition will be vain.-Persuasion (1817)
~I pay very little regard... To what any young person says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they have not yet seen the right person.- Mansfield Park (1814)

See you next chapter...

"We are all fools in love."- 

~Bella

Circa Waves...

Everyone who wants to know me wants to know what I listen to, which one is my favorite song...

Please stop asking! I don't know my favorite song, all I know is I'm addicted to a few singers and bands. One of them happens to be indie and British... It happens to also be one of my favorite bands, one I can listen whenever I want to dance around in my undies and want to listen when I'm sad...

Circa Waves is a British Indie Rock band formed in Liverpool back in 2013.  The band consists of frontman Kieran Shudall who is the singer as well as a guitarist, Sam Rourke, bassist, Colin Jones, drummer and Joe Falconer, who is also a guitarist. 
I heard about the band when I was looking through similar bands to the Artic Monkeys. I've always loved British bands, British singers, their songs, lyrics are usually more profound than anyone else's. Their music is more appealing to me than anything else, and when I first listened to Circa Waves, I fell in love, completely in love. The way their songs move me, I couldn't just leave it be. Quite unbelievable if I may say, the first song that caught my ears was, "Young Chasers", amazing song! 

Then, I went through a lot more than the song and fell instantly in love with this song....

And then... This year, 2017, as I was looking through the last songs they recorded, both songs, "Fire That Burns" and " Wake Up"... 

The band made a successful appearance after the determination of the lead singer, who almost gave up on the career. The music business isn't an easy one, and the competition is beyond unimaginable. But they are quite the band with their new album, Different Creatures. 

The songs:

1. 'Wake Up'

2. 'Fire That Burns'

3. 'Goodbye'

4. 'Out On My Own'

5. 'Different Creatures'

6. 'Crying Shame'

7. ' Love's Run Out'

8. 'Stuck'

9. 'A Night Out On the Broken Tiles'

10. ' Without You'

11. 'Old Friends'

I'm beyond excited to listen to each one of these songs and love each one of them just like the others... 

"I'm a little too young with not enough time."- Circa Waves

~Bella

Having a difficult time resolve a conflict?

Last time we talked about flexibility for children and I thought it was a good reminder for adults... Today, we are talking about...

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Teaching kids to solve their problems. 

WHAT IS IT?

" Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it." - Dorothy Thomas

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?

Conflict is part of life. No matter what line of work your child eventually chooses, he will need to be able to wirk with others and deal with the inevitable conflicts that go along with that. Conflict is also a natural part of friendships. Your child will need the skills to deal with conflict in a safe and reasonable way. 

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

* Uses techniques to "cool off" before speaking

* Listens when others are speaking

* Is able to express themselves clearly and calmly

* Gives reasonable solutions to the problem

How you can help your child

1. Coach them through it

Each conflict your child encounters with another child can be a learning experience. Each of these experiences, if handled well, will add up to a child who is able to resolve their own conflicts peacefully. Instead of "rescuing" or solving your child's problems, coach them through it. Support them when needed, but ultimately leave it up to them to find a reasonable solution to their problem.

2. Teach I message

When frustrated, it's easy to place blame on others. Teach your child how to give an "I" message. The format looks like this: "I feel_____, when you _____" For example, your child could say, "I feel upset when you call me by my nickname, please stop." This format places emphasis on how the child is feeling, and not on who is to blame. "I" messages may feel unnatural to your child at first, but eventually they will become second nature.

3. Show them how to apologize

There will be many times when your child will be on the offending side of a conflict. It's important that your child knows how to give a meaningful apology. Hero's a helpful format: "You felt ____, when I _____, next time I will ____" For example, your child could say, "You felt angry when I took your toy, next time I will ask before I borrow it."

4. Practice, practice, practice

Use any opportunity to discuss conflict resolution with your child. TV shows, movies, and books all open up the opportunity to talk about what each character could do to resolve their conflicts. If your child is struggling with conflict resolution, it may be helpful to "role play" how they could appropriately react to situations that they may face at school. 

Conflicts are one issue that everyone have to handle, daily. Some of us will get our anger out by shouting, others will ignore the problem and move on. We act differently when overcoming our fears, regrets and conflicts. Children are taught how to deal with them a certain way, instead of pushing or pulling another's hair, they have to communicate. Adults are the same! In my opinion, adults are pretty much like children. We never fully "grow up", there are always little things that makes us kids, inside. Look how we handle economic crisis, or disagreement on religion or oil land, we go to war, we use violence to deal with conflicts instead of talking to one another. I'm talking about big crisis, but let's see how we deal with small ones. For instance, imagine you are a calm driver, stuck in traffic to go to the LAX airport. You are peacefully listening to your music when the car behind you bump into your car. What will you do? Some will get out and start shouting, "Where is your insurance, it's your fault..." Does this sound very sweet and peaceful? No! Others will pull over on the side of the road, ask if everyone is alright, ask about what happened, the insurance, make sure that everyone is doing alright, and calmly take each other's information. Does this sound more nice? I believe so. Sadly, our society isn't all this peaceful. Some people never learned how to manage conflicts, and as adults, they still don't know.

Why wait to teach your children how to 

manager their anger, to manage situation, resolve conflicts? Why? It's never too early! Children are like sponges, they will absorb informations without difficulties, it may take practice, but at the end, you'll be proud of the work you put into teaching them such an amazing life lesson! Instead of killing someone over a slight arguement, they will be communicating and fixing the problem without shouting and making no sense of what they are saying! 

"We must teach our children to resolve their conflict with words, not weapons." - William J. Clinton

~Bella

What a week...

Little post, little announcement...

As it is quite the busy day for me, I've decided to just give you an update on what will be happening in the next couple of weeks. 

First, let's start by saying I've come up with a new idea, new series that may be posted each Wednesday. I was working, and the idea came up when I realized that I may have had a few questions such as, "Does size should matter?"

Don't start imagining scenarios where I begin talking about real people! Questions like the one I stated above, do come up often, especially when it comes to LOVE! Many of us deal with the age difference, the size, the religion, political views and so on, but does it matter, should it matter... When love is around, these questions shouldn't be a bother yet if you have them, well I'll make sure to write an article with my point of view as well as others.

The series may start in April, hopefully, every Wednesday will be free for the series unless it's a special day!

Second, I'm not changing my blog anytime soon, but I will try to talk more about my novel as it is starting to come to an end. I really wanted to give a little article from now and there about the writing, the editing that I will start doing soon, the names that I had to change... I believe talking about a project, a current one may help others want to start a project of their own...

Finally, I will have a very busy Friday, I won't be to post anything unless I find the time to do so during noon, no promises, check up on Friday around mid-day. Again, family issues take a lot of time, a lot of energy, my writing may seem a little off lately, can't seem to catch my breath! Sorry again!

If you have questions, please let me know... 

~Bella

Darker or lighter...

Fifty Shades Darker

A two-hour long movie, the second after the phenomenal one, Fifty Shades of Grey...

Who remembers watching the first one? I don't mostly cause I didn't want to go see it as I have read all three books.

Comments from my dear mother, " I laughed at the entire movie, no erotic scenes except for one or two and again not erotic."
"The discussions between both parties were unsuccessful and boring."
"The blond wasn't around much, barely showed any presence or personality, nothing about the past."
" No foreplay, compare to the first which was the discovery, you could expect more in the second, but no..."
"Tons of questions, accidents? I believe it's plain idiotic."
" The trailer made us wait a year, saying that it was going to be fantastic, more sex, more than the first one... And no, just plain deception!"

My mother could go and on about the comments, the complaints, and sadly, she hasn't found anything good to say about the movie.

To me... I laughed at a few scenes, left at the end of the movie for personal issues, but still didn't miss the last scenes because I thought the actors were doing poorly. There was no chemistry, no feeling, no discussions. No real speeches, no talk, the whole movie was boring. Usually, when I go to the movies, I laugh at different times than Americans, while this time, we laughed at the same time. It was idiotic, nothing erotic, no sex scenes whatsoever. We both got disappointed, even my mother's friend, laughed out loud.

When books are made into movies, some will love it, others will just be disappointed. It's different for everyone, and this time, I preferred the novel instead of the movie. I've always tried to comprehend the way movie directors work, tried to think that movies cannot be the exact same as novels. You can't recreate each single phrase of a novel into a movie. It's nearly impossible to make it the same. When you read, it's one person reading not many, and the way you may read the story is our you are feeling throughout the words, the phrases, each expression, and emotion are created by yourself. A movie, on the contrary, has already some type of emotion, feelings. You cannot create your own as you watch the film, so I always try to watch it with an open mind, leaving the book on the side. Easy, you think, but no, it's harder than anything else. When you have read the books, watching it may be harder because you already know what will happen and then sometimes movies just don't get the same emotions as the novel. It's different... Then again, usually, they try to make the movie as perfect as possible. Sadly, this time, the movie was beyond idiotic leaving me speechless about how awful the movie was made. Nudity isn't something Americans let out too often in films, you won't see much in any films while in Europe having some nudity is part of the deal... So when I went to see Fifty Shades Darker, I expected not much nudity but enough to make a woman aroused, but no... Nothing, no nudity except a few little things, again barely anything... 
It's ironic to see that the movie is categorized in the Erotic category when there was barely any nudity or sex scenes, whatsoever. It's quite painful to watch, nothing pleasurable about it. 

I went online to read articles about the film, and at my biggest surprised many articles talked about the idea and the idiocy of how the movie turned out.  Some articles just said, "It's not terrible, just timid..."
Other articles like this one:  https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/02/fifty-shades-darker-a-spoilereview/516204/

Again, everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, leaving me to have my own as well... 
Fifty Shades Darker isn't a movie to go watch in the movie theater. It is disappointing and a waste of money. Wait until it's on a streaming website because you'll want to just get refunded for such an idiotic movie. 

"The result was a very bad movie, but one considerably less bad than the book it was based on." - Christopher Orr 

~Bella