WARNING: I won't say real names because I don't think it's necessary... I don't want you to continue reading if you don't want to know about narcissism! It's only my experience, what I saw and had to endure. I don't need you to lecture me about not having a psychology degree, I don't think I need one to know exactly what I saw. I did on the other side took classes, and read many textbooks, learned from experiences as well as others. Please, don't think you are living under the same roof as a person who may seem like a narcissist, just because you act a bit like one doesn't make you one! It's like you can be distracted, compulsive and not have a disorder.
Narcissism is a personality disorder which may impact those surrounding the affected person as much as themselves just like anxiety may does. Quite difficult to notice at first, but as the disorder progresses, the symptoms and associates traits/ behaviors become more pronounced. A personality disorder is simply a pattern of thoughts or behaviors that are significantly different from those expected in a specific culture or society. Just because you may have a set of pattern doesn't mean you have a disorder!
I have lived under the same roof of a narcissistic person, and to be honest, it wasn't a piece of pie, a joyful moment. Narcissists do not do well under overwhelming emotions, or feelings, when someone tells them their issues, the words come through, but the lack of concern about their emotion isn't present. Out of these emotions, anger and fear come along, fright the narcissistic person, who will find a way to transfer or assign blame to someone or something if these emotions rush in. Somehow, if the person breaks something, they will try and blame the person who gave them the object, not taking responsibility for their action.
There are times when we have an angry reaction, throw plates onto the wall, or punching a chair, after all, if there is some type of stress in your life, it is understandable to be angry. Now, if it becomes a normal behavior, then you may consider it a sign of "something is wrong".
I personally had to deal with grandiosity! This is overlooked by many of us; it could seem like it's bragging, but it's more than this!
Grandiosity is being unrealistic! It's when an individual has a very inflated view of him or herself that they then portray to the outside world. They become louder than everyone else around only to show they are, the bigger person in the room. Tendencies of dressing well, showing off to the world in case someone important comes along... Feeling superior to others, even his wife or her husband becomes real. No matter what, they will say or do, nothing is good enough for the person who suffers from narcissism. The person uses his contacts for his own deal, nothing more, nothing less.
Humans take advantage of people in general, but somehow we also manage to give something back, in return, but narcissistic people won't do anything for anyone, yet, they will continue to take advantage, use everyone, freely. The word, "sorry" doesn't go through, it never comes up, the responsibility of their actions are denied, and apologies are forgotten! Never will they apologize.
When you live under the same roof as a person who shows a narcissist side, you begin to see everything wrong with the person, nothing goes right. It's almost as you feel insecure around them, unaware of what the person may do next. Since, most of them are unpredictable when it comes to their emotions, and how manipulative they can be if something doesn't go their way, this may result in you being afraid, frightened. Again, seeing and accepting the traits that they are showing can be complex, not always easy to recognize the behaviors. After all, narcissists are generous with their advice, time, and often even their money. If they do give you their time, advice, it's not for you, it's for themselves! It's to show how intelligent they are to you, show how good they can manage situations, time, money. They know you are going to listen to them, confident enough in their own skin to think they are unpredictable.
Don't think they can't love or form a bond, they can indeed do, just differently from us, they form bonds based on utility. They won't call you, check up on how you are doing, they only need to converse with you to get something... Narcissism isn't an easy disorder, it may be hard to recognize mostly because each trait that make up a narcissistic person could be given to everyone else. We all feel anger, fear, use people for our own good, like to be right, feel confident enough that we feel superior to others... But if this type of behavior is becoming "normal", you may consider it narcissism.
Living with a person who only think about themselves, only listen what they want, understand what they want, and making everyone feel horrible for mistake they did. Some questions may help you recognize if you are one or they are...
1. Do you consider yourself smarter than most, if not, all of the people around you? If so, do you also tend to change the path of conversations to the things you know, think and have?
2. DO you consider yourself above reproach? Many times, a narcissist will think - the rules don't apply to me. They are in place to keep other people in line, but I can break a rule here and there, because I understand how rules work and should be applied.
3. Do you get angry when someone offers your constructive criticism, or do you sometimes mistake other people's words as direct criticism of your personally?
4. Do you apologize? Many narcissists refuse to ever apologize, even when they are entirely at fault. For example, if you unknowingly hurt someone's feelings, do you offer words of apology?
5. Do you blame your emotions on others? A narcissist is often unable to cope with or accept his or her own emotions. Do you attribute your anger to the actions of others? Do you rely on others to supply your happiness, leaving them open to blame should something go wrong?
6. Do you feel that your life and well being is more important than anyone else's? A narcissist will have very little genuine interest in other people.
Now, if you are concerned about narcissism after considering your answers to these questions, then there is probably only a 50% chance that you, personally, are a narcissist. Don't get overwhelmed by it all though... If you are concerned that you are offending others with the behaviors mentioned above, you are taking the time to consider the impact of your actions and reactions to others.
"When a narcissist can no longer control you, they will instead try to control how others see you."
~Bella
We all have a name, some love it, others would have preferred to be named something else... My name, as many have told me is either Germanic or Italian, it means beautiful but also a beautiful serpent. Sadly, names originate from a certain place, but over time, other meanings take place, other countries to it for their own, and well, nowaday, it is difficult to know where our name come from and what it means. Names are given to us by our parents, grandparents, family members, another person. We don't choose it, and curiosity may happen, completely normal if you are quite the curious one as myself. You may dislike your name, dislike the fact that you have been given a family name, generation after generation, but a name is personal, it's us, it has a meaning. Our name comes from somewhere, the person that named you had reasons to name you the way they did. Sadly,
they don't always make the best choice, sometimes names just happen to be given because of a popular celebrity, a professional athlete, a song, a movie character... I, personally, rarely use my name, usually, my nickname comes up more often, Bella is just a nickname that I got when I was at the airport by two Italians who called me, Bella. Since that day at the airport, I used it, simple enough for people to say and remember. I like it better than my name but I ain't going to change it even if I had the chance to do so.
Since I've been writing my novel, I've been into names, looking to get the best names for novel characters.
I went through many lists, many books, went back in past family names. Took a while to go through them all, but I fell in love with a few names. I thought I would share the list in case you need name ideas for future kids or if you need to write an essay and cannot write the personal name.
Let's start with the boy names...
Owen- Irish
Young, warrior, well-born, noble... This wonderful, intriguing name is becoming very popular... One of my favourite names, actually...
Matteo- Italian
A variation of Matthew which means Gift of God. My mother's friend actually named her son, Matteo, written differently, but it really got me interested in seeing the name spelled in different countries. Matteo is a common name back in Italy, which also happens to be one of my favourite countries!
Mattia- Italian
Another variation of Matteo... Italians love their "A". Also, means Gift of God.
Shawn-Irish
Derived from Sean, an Irish cognate of John, the name means God is gracious.
Luca- Italian
I know another Italian names but can't get enough of them. Many forms of Luca came up, but this one seems to catch my eye a bit more. It means Light.
Alexander- Swedish/ Greek
This name as many origins making it difficult to choose one country, the name means, "Defender of Man", "Tough". I'm in love with the name, got it from a Swedish actor who plays in True Blood.
Damon-Greek
According to Greek legend, Damon and Pythias were friends who lived in Syracuse in the 4th century B.C.
The story goes on about Pythias being sentenced to death, but he was allowed to temporarily go free if Damon took his place in prison. Damon means "To Tame".
Espen- Norwegian (Scandinavian)
God Bear... Strong and unusual name that many of us misspell... No, it has nothing to do with the sports network, ESPN.
Mark- English/ British with Latin roots
"Consecrated to the God Mars" or "God of War".
Common derived name from Marcus which was one of the three most common given name in Ancient Rome.
Conor- Irish
Anglicized form of the Gaelic name Conchobhar which means "dog lover" or "wolf lover". Use in Ireland for centuries, kings got the privilege to be called that way. Many legends have the Gaelic name in, but when Conor came into the place, Ireland adopted it.
Girls names...
Valentina- Italian
Feminine form of Valentine, a saint's name. The meaning of this name is, "strength", "health". The Latin root Valentinus which is derived from Valens (strong, vigorous, powerful).
Gwendolyn- Celtic/Welsh/ Breton
A variation of Gwendolen. A quite popular name in the United Sates even though it is pretty Celtic.
Elowen- Irish/Cornish
Meaning "ELM"
The name is pronounced ehl-OWWaaN or EHL-owWehN. Can be used for girls and boys, but I prefer it for a girl. It wasn't given much before the twentieth century, and I still haven't met anyone with this name...
Rose- Norman/ Germanic
Latin roots "rosa", the original form of a German name, "Hrodheid", composed of the words Hrod (fame) and Heid (kind). When I think of this name I go straight to the movie Titanic, bad idea, but yet I still do it. But many will go for the flower.
Elaina-Greek
Elaine which is the Old French form of Helen, the name of the famous beauty of the Trojan War story in Greek mythology. There are many forms of Elaina throughout the world, but this one stands out most.
Thyra-Norwegian (Scandinavian)
Feminine name in honor of the Norse god of War, Tyr. Pretty uncommon name, but it's original, unique and you fall for it...
Davina-Scottish
Beloved or friend, it is the feminine name of David, adopted from the Hebrew. It has some kind of love into the name...
Klara- Czech
Clear, bright, famous... Many derived names, many forms, and I opted for this one, thought about my favourite Disney movie...
Alena-Celtic
The name of Alena is, Fair, good-looking. Feminine of Allen or variant of Helen.
Colleen-Irish
From the Irish Cailin meaning "girl" and used by the Irish in the USA and Australia as a way of connecting to their Irish roots.
Every name is special in their own ways, it may not be original, but it's yours and you make it special, unique! Don't be like me and disliking your name, always going for the nickname, make your name stand out!
"Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any languages."- Dale Carnegie
~Bella
Ps: I won't stop myself from writing the British way, I have a few things that I like to spell that way, so please do not judge!
When you live under the same roof as a person who shows a narcissist side, you begin to see everything wrong with the person, nothing goes right. It's almost as you feel insecure around them, unaware of what the person may do next. Since, most of them are unpredictable when it comes to their emotions, and how manipulative they can be if something doesn't go their way, this may result in you being afraid, frightened. Again, seeing and accepting the traits that they are showing can be complex, not always easy to recognize the behaviors. After all, narcissists are generous with their advice, time, and often even their money. If they do give you their time, advice, it's not for you, it's for themselves! It's to show how intelligent they are to you, show how good they can manage situations, time, money. They know you are going to listen to them, confident enough in their own skin to think they are unpredictable. 
