Time Apart...

Little side note to my dear mother who's birthday was yesterday, Happy Birthday!

Can spending time away from your partner help your relationship, save it from destroying itself?

A question which doesn't have a concrete answer, nothing to prove it will fix a relationship, everyone deals with important situations differently. 
Throughout the little experience I had and seeing lots of relationships fail, I can consider myself lucky enough to have seen how taking time for ourselves may help fix a few issues that you may have in your relationship. 

Taking a break doesn't mean go back on a hunting ground, sleep with others. If you want to look for someone else, it will be a breakup and not a break. Wanting to sleep somewhere else, not wanting to take some time off to gather around your mind just means you want to break away from the relationship, so now it's up to you either you want to end the relationship or take some time off. 

I would personally take some time off the relationship when the apologies, sweet words, compliments don't work anymore. We all make mistakes and apologizing is a big deal, not many of us can take responsibility for their actions. If my partner wouldn't take it in consideration then, it's time for a break. 
Next, the "miss" emotion that you once had is gone. The things you used to do, cute messages before bedtime, the few moments spent together before going back home to deal with other things. When you live with your partner, the "miss" feeling fades away, and sometimes we need to miss the other person to understand how much they mean to you!
Obviously, there is that moment when arguments are louder than your apologies. Fights take over your life, and you two no longer hear each other talk. Arguments happen, we can't always be on the same page, but when the only thing you do is fight, constantly point the finger on the other, making them feel horrible, take a break. No need for a breakup, but let some time to pass by, get your calm back, focus on what really matters may help. Not hearing your partner is a sign of a bigger issue. 

Taking some time off is helpful! Having some alone time is appreciated, but we forget how much we need this special time because we have been with our partner for so long. In order to gather around our train of thoughts, our feelings back together can only be done when you are far from your relationship. Being away from your partner could end up being beneficial. I ain't telling you to move on and sleep around, party all night long! I'm telling you to go out, take some time off, be with yourself, ask yourself questions such as "Do I miss him/her?", see your flaws, your wrongs, and what you can do to make the relationship better. 
It sounds simple when I put it down on a blank page, but on the contrary. 
Taking time off from a relationship, from your loved one is harder than it seems. It takes courage to tell them that you need to gather yourself for a bit, away from the relationship. 

Have you ever looked at your partner and felt tired, bored? It does happen after a long time, especially if you let the routine run your life. It will most likely ruin the fun you once had. Boredom is a sign of getting tired of either your partner's behaviors or the situation which keeps happening. So when I think about a break, I think about the set of new fresh eyes, the new perspective to give to the relationship. 

Now, the issue about taking breaks is being on the same page, being understandable, and making sure that a break doesn't mean a breakup. Establishing some ground rules, making sure that's what you really want and not just a way to escape the reality. And you have to accept the fact that taking a break may take you a step closer to an actual breakup. It may seem like it could help bring a couple closer, but in fact, it can do the opposite especially now with our society and the temptations which keep coming at us. 
Make sure you communicate the boundaries, what the next step will be, and be determined to stay together. 

If you are both on the same page, communication happen, there is a pretty good chance that the break will do a lot more good than bad. 

"Let there be spaces in your togetherness." - Khalil Gibran

~Bella

What Would Jane Do? (4)

Did you look yourself in the mirror this morning? Did you take a good look? This coming chapter is for everyone! Don't always look at the word "women", if you are a guy and reading this, please take it for yourself as well!

Chapter IV. Check Yourself, Dear

It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us. Women fancy admiration means more than it does. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
I make no apologies for my heroine's vanity. If there are young ladies in the world at her time of life more dull of fancy and more careless of pleasing, I know them not. - Sanditon (1817)
Such squeamish youths as cannot bear to be connected with a little absurdity are not worth a regret. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
Where youth and diffidence are united, it requires uncommon steadiness of reason to resist the attraction of being called the most charming girl in the world. - Northanger Abbey (1817)
But that is one great difference between us. Compliments always take you by surprise, and me never. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
One is apt, I believe, to connect assurance of manner with coquetry, and to expect that an impudent address will naturally attend an impudent mind.- Lady Susan (1794)
Vanity working on a weak head produces every sort of mischief. - Emma (1815)
Pictures of perfection as you know, make me sick and wicked. - Letters
Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken. - Emma (1815)
Sense will always have attractions for me. - Sense and Sensibility (1811)
I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.- Northanger Abbey (1817)
Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. - Emma (1815)
Wisdom is better than wit, and in the long run, will certainly have the laugh on her side.- Letters
[She] is one of those young ladies who seek to recommend themselves to the other sex by undervaluing their own... But, in my opinion, it is a paltry device, a very mean art. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then. It is something to think of, and give her a sort of distinction among her companions. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
All the privilege I claim for my own sex... Is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone. - Persuasion (1817)
Her character depends on upon those she is with, but in good hands, she will turn out a valuable woman. - Emma (1815)
In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
She denied none of it aloud and agreed to none of it in private. - Emma (1815)

I hate to hear you talking... As if women were all fine ladies instead of rational creatures. We none of us expect to be in smooth water all our days. - Persuasion (1817)
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
A lady, without a family, was the very best preserver of furniture in the world.- Persuasion (1817)
It sometimes happens that a woman is more handsome at twenty-nine than she was ten years before. - Persuasion (1817)
The woman is fine for her own satisfaction alone. No man will admire her the more, no woman will like her the better for it. - Northanger Abbey (1817)
Give a girl an education and introduction her properly into the world, and ten to one but she has the means of settling well, without further expense to anybody. - Mansfield Park (1814)
She was sensible and clever but eager in everything; her sorrow, her joys, could have no moderation. - Sense and Sensibility (1811)
She was determined, as she felt it be her duty, to try to overcome all that was excessive. -Mansfield Park (1814)
She felt that she could so much more depend on upon the sincerity of those who sometimes looked or said a careless or a hasty thing, than of those whose presence of mind never varied, whose tongue never slipped. - Persuasion (1817)
Do not consider me now as an elegant female intending to plague you but as a rational creature speaking the truth from her heart. -Pride and Prejudice (1813)
The enthusiasm of a woman's love is even beyond the biographer's. - Mansfield Park (1814)

See you next chapter... Which seems to be more for women, sorry, but please come and read! 


"Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings." - 

~Bella

Want to go at the party?

If you don't know me or want to learn a little about me this might just do the trick!

You know what an introvert is? Right? Well if you aren't sure here is the definition (in my own words and what I think it is, based on myself)...
A shy person who prefers to spend time alone away from the crowd doing their own thing.

The online definition, in my opinion, wasn't right! My only concern isn't my own thoughts or feelings, it's actually the opposite! I don't care much about myself, I'm more the over caring about others type of person! So the definition is wrong for my part! It will teach me to always look up definitions online...


I'm an introvert! Alright, to be more precise I'm in between the introvert and extrovert... I'm mostly made up of introvert "genes".

Let's say that instead of going to parties or go drink at a local bar (I ain't 21 yet so I can't do that in the US), I will just stay cozy at home or with a person or two having fun outside or something. The idea of being around more than five people is considered a crowd to me and anxiety builds up quickly, I feel uncomfortable... But then again, I can totally make it work. I went to Las Vegas last summer for a convention with my "big sister" and I was alone with a bunch of strangers for the most part of the day and I felt completely fine! So I guess it depends on my mood as well... If I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, don't blame me just blame the bed...

Being an introvert has its perks, though, we will make fewer insults, make less social gaffes... Obviously, if you are with someone that doesn't know you, you will be judged and they won't try to understand you. That's far from being a perk, but they can't read your mind so just tell them that you don't feel comfortable around too many people. 

The first time I realized that I was more the introvert type of girl is when back in high school I decided to leave and do homeschooling. I would do better by myself than listening to people teach me and work with others. It was an eye-opening, and then I saw that there was plenty more situation that could have led me to realize it sooner. I would always or most the time, decline a party invite when I knew there was going to be lots of people. Or when I would lock myself in my room without the outside world, I was more on my computer (I still kind of do that at times, I miss being by myself and prefer to lock myself in). My experience of growing up wasn't at all like most kids, I had to grow up faster, mature quicker than most people my age. I didn't do crazy things, rebel on my parents, or anything a young teenager would do. In my opinion, I became introvert when I came in California, not speaking the language, feeling alone not understood by anyone. It made my teenage years quite different... I had family issues to deal with and I couldn't concentrate on friends. It's not like I was a loner, far from it, but I wasn't spending as much time as I should have. Now I regret it a little. Sometimes,  I want to do it all over again and mature up just like the others... But time traveling hasn't been a success to anyone yet, so I'm quite glad I mature up it makes me talk to older people more. That's pretty nice :)
The funny thing is I still have my extrovert side that shows up once in a while. I talk to people more, and I can meet new acquaintance easily. That side isn't really put in front, though, you may get lucky if I choose to talk to you. I tend to be careful on who I talk to in general.

Just because I can be unsocial doesn't mean I can't party and talk to people normally. It doesn't mean I never go outside, I actually try my best to get out (even though right now it's more the hiding from the sun part that keeps me inside, ha-ha), and it certainly not mean I can't live a normal life. It's not a disease or disorder! So stop judging! There's plenty of us on this planet, and even though not everyone understands us, we make the best out of it.

"Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe." -Susan Cain

~Bella