21st birthday, done!

You've guessed it, I'm finally 21! 

Not a huge deal on my part as in Europe the drinking age is younger, but since I'm currently in California, I went to a few bars. 

Being 21 years of age hasn't changed much for the few days I've been 21, but I can say that I did have a pleasant time, enjoying the night with one of my roommates. Drinks and fries, a few exchange with some people, and the night came to an end. 



Someone who is 21 years of age is excited about finally drinking in bars, clubbing but half of these people didn't have any advice from their close friends or family members. I was part of the lucky ones, my dear friends as my close family has been telling me a few bits of advice over the years making it easier for me when I finally entered adulthood (in America). 

I thought I would share a few of them with you especially if you are going to be 21 years old soon. 

I. "Don't waste your precious time trying to get someone to like you! You can't be liked by everyone." 



II. "Do yourself a favour and be yourself- forget about other's opinion."



III. "Have a passion, go find something free to do, especially if you live in a big city like Los Angeles or New York."



IV. "Take your time on your education, why rushing into the adult world."



V. "Go find yourself a real, nice man instead of chasing immature, bad boys."



VI. " Don't worry too much about money just yet, you have some time to get your saving up and running."



VII. "No future plans? Please. Live a little." 

VIII. "Stop judging your life, compare it to other's and make yourself feel horrible for not having the same progress. It's your own journey!"



IX. "You are still young, stop pretending like you've got it all under control." 



X." Bars are nice but don't think you have to go spend money every night. You have your entire life to do so." 



Being 21 years of age didn't make much change on my part, but it does to a lot of people. For many it means you are entering adulthood, you finally able to run around town at whatever hour of the night, you are allowed in clubs, bars, get drinks without worrying about being caught.  Sure, it does has its perks, but don't over exaggerate; you have your entire life ahead of you to get crazy being an adult! Enjoy the last couple of years you have to be a grown person with tons of responsibilities. 

Here comes the next chapter of my life... The one I will write about... Stay alert, more to come next week... 





"When you turn 21. You legally do all the things you've been doing since you were 15." 



~Bella

Let's take some responsibilities...

Next stop... 

RESPONSIBILITY

Helping our children take ownership of their lives

WHAT IS IT?

Responsibility is the ability to take ownership of both accomplishments and mistakes. 

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?

"The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life." - Hal Elrod

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

*Follows through on promises and commitments

* Is dependable

* Does what needs to be done without being asked

* Accepts blame (does not make excuses or blame others  for mistakes)

*Does the right thing, even when no one is watching

How you can help your child

1. Model it

The most powerful way to teach responsibility is to model responsibility for your child. If you make a promise to someone, keep it. If you make a commitment, stick to it until the end (even if you don't feel like it). Verbalize these situations for your child. You could say, "I'd really like to stay home today, but I promised our neighbors I would help them with their garden."

2. Let them help you

Young children often want nothing more than to help you (cook, clean, fold laundry). Even though it may take 3 times longer to get something done, let them help you. Letting them help you builds your child's confidence and self-worth and teaches them how to do chores. Be careful not to be overly critical they do the job-- this can undo the positive experience.

3. Chores, chores, chores
Age-appropriate chores are an important part of building responsibility. Before assigning chores, be sure to model each task for your child. Start small, and gradually add tasks as they get older. Make a visual list or chart so your child can see what needs to be done each day. 

4. Help them understand consequences
Each choice we make has a consequence- positive or negative. Being responsible means that we try to make choices that are going to give us the best consequences. Use examples from your life to help reinforce this. You could say, "I chose to pack my lunch last night, and now I don't feel rushed this morning." Give your child opportunities to make good choices, but don't rescue them when they forget their responsibilities. If they are responsible for bringing their band instrument to school and they forget, don't bring it to them. Let them pay the consequence this time and chances are, they will be more responsible the next time. 

We all have to deal with responsibilities, but how many of us take them seriously?
Children may have a difficult time taking them seriously, but adults have to deal with these important ones. Most of us don't even take them seriously, prefer to have others deal with their responsibilities. But at some point we are all responsible for someone or something!
Don't try and run away from them! 

"Responsibility is the price of freedom."- Elbert Hubbard.

~Bella 

Insanity over love...

Have you ever felt like you were doing something insane because of someone? Or did something completely ridiculous to impress them?

Sometimes, it happens, you end up doing something completely crazy, odd. They are signs that mean you may have fallen in love! We all feel it, understand whenever we have fallen in love, but somehow at times, we are afraid of what the reality might be.

Being in love with someone means you have to take full on responsibility on the terrifying situations that may come along with it like jealousy. There are many things people may be afraid of, commitment, falling in love with the wrong person, not sure if you know if the other person likes you back...

So many questions may pop up, get you stressed... Even if you don't say "I love you" or tell them how you feel, there are pretty good chances that you fell in love unconsciously which sometimes isn't such a bad thing!

After seeing my friends, people back when I was still at school, or even my experiences, I picked up on little actions that we end up doing when we like someone.

- You have to check your phone every couple of minutes or even seconds in some cases. Not like you are whenever you are playing a game, it's more like a check up on knowing if you still have service, or if you haven't missed a call or text from the other person... Don't lie to yourself, you've done it!

- You can't stop thinking about them, everything reminds you of them! You went to see a movie at a certain place so now you've been seeing memories of it! Can't stop wishing they were there with you, sharing a moment!

- Can't seem to talk about anything else. Everything has to have their names in each phrase you say!

- Take everything wrong if your best friend says something negative about your crush! You will become upset!

- You have definitely turned the page on your ex-boyfriend.

- Boring stuff may not seem so boring anymore! You may be at CVS picking some medication and somehow it's nice!

- ADD becomes real! You can't seem to concentrate at work, school, interview!


All you have to know is that no matter what you may say, do or think. The biggest issue about not seeing that you may be in love is DENIAL! Not seeing the truth isn't what will get you somewhere!

"Denial is the beginning of the end."

~Bella

That's shameful ...

WHAT A SHAME! 

A couple weeks ago, I was on my Facebook, looking at the feed when I came across a video. I watched it out of curiosity and then learned something incredibly shameful! Ok, I'm sure you want to see it, yet I spent a good hour looking for it. Dumb little me didn't save the video, so I'm apologizing because you might have enjoyed it if you like to learn information like this! 

The video started saying that a certain percentage of students didn't know how to boil an egg or do their own laundry. 
I don't know if it's just Americans, but in the video, they made the study in America so Americans had to be targeted... Saved me from looking stupid... Just kidding!  Thanks for being European! 

So first, apparently, students cannot cook at all, not even boil an egg, or make pasta (I mean come on, that's so easy), and they can't do laundry as well... What the hell! Don't parents teach their kids to do their laundry or help in the kitchen so later on, when the kids live on their own they know what to do? If I was a parent, I would teach my children to do the basic like cooking, cleaning, laundry... 
After watching the video, I was ashamed of our society. It's gone sideways, downhill! I don't expect kids my age or around my age to perfectly cook, but at least know how to use water

correctly and the time management. With today's technology, I'm sure you can find a simple recipe online. Just use the internet wisely! I'm young, turning 20 soon, and when I look at people my age or slightly younger or older, all I see is immaturity! The mature people are rare, and that's sad, it shows how society has not involved well. Don't take it personally, I'm generalizing people. It's not you personally, it's the majority of people that just take things for granted and honestly, they should really take a good look at life itself. 
I have my own share of bad things, I ain't perfect, but I've got the basics. I know how to live on my own! I know how to manage laundry, cook, clean (I hate cleaning though), going grocery! Now, I recently learned a great lesson, and I'm trying to change a few things. It's difficult  to change for the better, ameliorate your views of life... So, if you are just like me trying to be better, I believe in you! 

Being adult can be challenging, frightful, and irritating! 
After turning 18, I was feeling sick, I had to act like an adult in some points and still act like a child in others. That age is annoying, especially for me! I didn't spend my teenage years like the others, I had too many responsibilities, so now it seems like I just want to be back again and act like a teenager who can be mean and do dumb things! I'm realizing that I did indeed miss out on my teenage years, growing up faster and mature up quicker than people my age. 
Turning 20 and I'm still at that age when I'm not really considered an adult and not a child anymore. It's in between, some actually still look at me like a child and others expect me to be an adult who does adult things! People make up your mind! 

The things I'm realizing, slowly but still I am... 

Say goodbye to the fact that being invincible is over! That time is gone forever! We all did some crazy things growing up, I know I did (just a few things), but when you grow up, you have to see the outcome... While when you are a kid, you go for it and don't care about the result. 

You have to take more responsibilities, start caring for yourself! That can be quite challenging! I don't want to talk about my experience as it is quite awful, too young and now it's like I'm on a strike! But I love being independent, it's nice! 

Where did everyone go? You lose touch with people so easily. The only people that will stay in your life is your real friends, the others will eventually leave and do their own things. It's sad but true, just like junior high going to high school, but this is college to life. 

Oh, new things will interest you! Maybe you'll stop listening to Blink-182 or stop going on hikes... You will end up liking new things! It's like you'll be the person you laughed at during your high school years. That boring person you thought you'll never be... It will happen!  

Free time will be precious! Between the job, maybe the family you created, and friends that want to make plans because they barely see you... Some free alone time will be appreciated because it will be rare! 

At the end of the day, you should know the basic to become an adult. Even if it means asking for help at first! Seize the day... Being an adult will eventually have to come, so make the best out of it. Don't worry too much and live day by day. Be spontaneous, and believe in yourself! I know you will be able to boil an egg, I BELIEVE IN YOU!

"Now you know why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up."

~Bella