Oh, genius...

I turned 21 years of age in July of 2017, this year, not long ago and yet, it feels like it was an eternity ago. Since July, either I've been going to both my favourite bars or recently one more, the one I disliked on my birthday. It ain't that bad when you know people who work there. 

Each bar I go to is quite unique, different from one another which makes it difficult to only choose one. Everyone knows each other, and you become familiar to people who work at each place. Even become friend with a few. Get phone numbers and an amazing time cause despite what people say, some people are actually quite interesting.  
What I do best is people watch, analyze whoever I fancy, who attracts my eyes. 
As a writer, I take my ideas from daily life, from people I watch at bars, from work ( thank you to a number of stupid customers I have to deal with). And most of the time, I get disappointed by how idiotic people can act.  It's just painful to see how people react and when they open their mouths, what comes out is the trash... 

What I found amusing is the fact that people don't know how to drink and be themselves. It's one of the differences I have with many of them. I'm not going to pretend anything, say what the other person wants to hear, and usually, I make more enemies than friends. It doesn't stop me from being myself though... And it seems like I'm appreciated for it. 
For example, I was sitting at the bar eating some fries and talking to my friend who was working in front of me.  A young woman in her late twenties was standing beside me with a tall guy in his mid-thirties on the other side. They were conversing quite loud so I couldn't help but hear the conversation even though it was rather boring in my opinion. I kept wondering what these two had in common... So I kept listening, wondering, analyzing the best I could. He was barely paying attention to her as his eyes wandered around the room a little too much, staring at women across the room. She kept continuing with her speech which wasn't interesting at all. 
When someone doesn't seem interested you either stop talking or change the subject. It wasn't the case in this situation. 

Then I looked again at both of them, he was tall, fit, well dressed while she looked basic, a lot of makeup, mini dress where we could have seen everything if she bent down. Either she is the easy girl who wants to marry a rich husband, or she is the opposite, a little too serious and thought she would have an enjoyable time by dressing so poorly. Either way, it was funny to watch. 
Another example which I see quite often between one person to the next is the " same thing" type of person. This time, a guy was sitting behind me with a young woman, both drinking vodka mules, probably on a date, and both seem like they were enjoying themselves. Throughout the hour they were sitting at the table, their conversation was more than ordinary, nothing alarming except one slight detail... Everything they had to say to each other was " same with me" or " I can't believe you listen to them as well". 

Don't get me wrong, many of us have similarities but to have everything in common is quite rare. Don't you want to be unique? Be liked for who you are and not because you have common grounds with the other person? Neither of them showed their real personalities which made me wonder if a relationship which starts like this one ever go far. 
I might not show much enthusiasm when sitting at the bar, drinking, but I'm far from being fake. I don't hide who I am, why would I? Where will it lead me? So at the end, not many will talk to me, not many will show their interest in me, but I will have shown what a genuine person looks like.

"It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone." -Hans F Hansen

~Bella

Bar to Bar...

As you know I recently turned 21 years old. Even though I've been drinking for a long time now, Americans made it a bigger deal than me, getting even more excited about it than me. I ended up confused as who's birthday it was, theirs or mine?

If someone turns 21 that means more money in your pocket, we get it, but when you are European like me, being 21 means nothing much. It's just another age, getting older. But no, I was in California when I turned 21, the drinking age. Even after two weeks in, people kept wishing my birthday. 

Little story, I was grocery shopping with my roommate. A little shop where I had found my bottle of alcohol, Vermouth. Nothing special, right? Well, at the cashier's, the woman asked for my ID, politely enough, smiled, looked at it closely, and told me "Happy Birthday". I thanked her, telling her it wasn't a big deal. Her face turned white as snow, I didn't say anything much just a simple thanks, yet it was the end of the world. 

America, I understand you are a new world, your laws are a little messed up especially when it comes to drinking, but do you have to act like complete fools when someone turns 21 years old? Do you have to pound alcohol in your system to get drunk fast enough to work your magic?

Let's get back to our topic, bars. 

When you hear bars, you automatically think drinks, getting hit on... While I'm just thinking soccer or pleasant time. Can't deny my culture and where I'm from as it shows it my drinking. 

Americans, in general, have perfected the art of pounding several drinks in a matter of just an hour or so. Europeans maintain a buzz the entire evening, many don't even get drunk. 

Another difference which keeps shocking me is the way people approach you. It seems like in Europe you won't be approached the same way. First, if they aren't part of the group or your circle or know someone from your circle, they don't usually go talk to you. Strangers stay at their place, generally. Introduction first then they talk. It's not being rude, it's just that we are distrustful. 

When I think of bars I think about the good time spent in good company, friends for instance. Here, all I've been seeing is strangers talking, girls (I won't describe them as women) expecting free drinks, and obviously both waiting to catch someone easy to bring home. Not surprising since the average duration of a relationship in Europe is counted by years and not months like most Americans. 

Now, Europe is a big continent with many different countries, languages and cultures/traditions. I ain't complaining about America, I ain't saying you don't know what bars are for, but you have to realize that coming from Europe, I can't find the whole bar experience great. 

I don't know how many times I've been looked at for being a young woman who drinks beer after work! Too many to keep track of! Not only you are looked for drinking beer and not tequila or vodka like most girls around here, but you are looked because you are alone and you make it clear that you don't want to be bugged. Why would it be alright for guys to hangout at bars, watch sports and enjoy a drink but not women? How is that fair? You tell me! 

My American bar experience is limited though, I'm in a town where people are too fake to look at what's real, so I can't just criticize every bar in the U.S.  

Sadly, I'm still in shock by my experience around here, California. How the girls dress without many clothes on to just complain about how guys grabbed their bottoms or tried to get with them later on. If you don't want a guy to look at you like an easy girl dress a bit more casual or classic instead of trashy! Trashy girls means easy girls! To me, it sounds more like a complete joke more than anything else. 

Santa Barbara may not be the best example when it comes to bars or much stuff in general! And it does not generalize the entire U.S., but a country has its culture and people are usually the same, almost. 

Despite the things I still don't fully understand, I made friends with the bartender, the security guys, and a few who works in the kitchen and bar. Just because they work in a bar doesn't make them fools or perverts which I adore! And I've got my little reputation, " the mum" reputation which I gladly take. I prefer to be responsible anyways so... Instead of throwing myself to guys, and act idiotic, I'm responsible enough to throw the truth at random strangers who will approach me like fools. I mean after my last encounter ( a guy came towards me and my roommate at the time, and the first thing he said was that he was a stoner, great way to make a girl fall for you...), sticking to good old tricks is highly recommended. 

Then again, I'm a bit cold and chase off guys but I'm still emotional and sensitive. I thought I wasn't attractive enough. But then my friend made a point, " Guys who go to bars don't want cute, sweet, smart opinionated girls like you. They want the loose (not sexually) bubbly party girls who look easy even if they aren't... No guy is calling a girl beautiful at the bar for anything other than sex..." 

And then he came up with the fact that my type of guys is hiding in coffee shops and libraries. Sorry to disappoint my friend but I live in these places, and yet, I haven't met Prince Charming! 

"Life is just a cocktail party on the street." -Mick Jagger. 

~Bella

21st birthday, done!

You've guessed it, I'm finally 21! 

Not a huge deal on my part as in Europe the drinking age is younger, but since I'm currently in California, I went to a few bars. 

Being 21 years of age hasn't changed much for the few days I've been 21, but I can say that I did have a pleasant time, enjoying the night with one of my roommates. Drinks and fries, a few exchange with some people, and the night came to an end. 



Someone who is 21 years of age is excited about finally drinking in bars, clubbing but half of these people didn't have any advice from their close friends or family members. I was part of the lucky ones, my dear friends as my close family has been telling me a few bits of advice over the years making it easier for me when I finally entered adulthood (in America). 

I thought I would share a few of them with you especially if you are going to be 21 years old soon. 

I. "Don't waste your precious time trying to get someone to like you! You can't be liked by everyone." 



II. "Do yourself a favour and be yourself- forget about other's opinion."



III. "Have a passion, go find something free to do, especially if you live in a big city like Los Angeles or New York."



IV. "Take your time on your education, why rushing into the adult world."



V. "Go find yourself a real, nice man instead of chasing immature, bad boys."



VI. " Don't worry too much about money just yet, you have some time to get your saving up and running."



VII. "No future plans? Please. Live a little." 

VIII. "Stop judging your life, compare it to other's and make yourself feel horrible for not having the same progress. It's your own journey!"



IX. "You are still young, stop pretending like you've got it all under control." 



X." Bars are nice but don't think you have to go spend money every night. You have your entire life to do so." 



Being 21 years of age didn't make much change on my part, but it does to a lot of people. For many it means you are entering adulthood, you finally able to run around town at whatever hour of the night, you are allowed in clubs, bars, get drinks without worrying about being caught.  Sure, it does has its perks, but don't over exaggerate; you have your entire life ahead of you to get crazy being an adult! Enjoy the last couple of years you have to be a grown person with tons of responsibilities. 

Here comes the next chapter of my life... The one I will write about... Stay alert, more to come next week... 





"When you turn 21. You legally do all the things you've been doing since you were 15." 



~Bella