Showing posts with label personalities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personalities. Show all posts

Monday, 19 June 2017

Labels, Obligations, and the Obvious...

How would you describe a relationship?

Simple yet complex question to answer. There's no right or wrong response as we are all free to think whatever we wish. A relationship may have similarities as well as differences. Each person is different making each relationship different! 
To conclude this short paragraph, there isn't a right answer to such question, and I certainly won't be the most experienced on the subject. Yet... With my own poor experiences, seeing my mother's relationships, her friends as well as mine, I can tell you a lot about it! 

Relationships may have a frightening side which may affect many of us and resulting in people not wanted to go forth with relationships.
It means commitment towards another human being and sadly, some of us aren't ready for such a situation. Thinking about two people instead of yourself, telling them whenever you have a meeting or trip, making sacrifices in order to make sure the other's happiness is on track... I mean I could go on like this, listing everything that a relationship needs, but I won't for everyone's sake.

Even though there are multiple factors against relationships, I still believe, hope (mostly), those relationships are more than obligations towards the partner/ lover. Yes, it may seem like you are obligated towards them, to hang out, to listen to them complain about their day, or obligated to tell them about your coming business trip. But when you have feelings when you let them approach you, fill you with warm loving sentiments, these so-called obligations pass as completely normal behaviors.
When you let feelings come along, respect comes along as well. Being respectful towards another human being is what society expects, so relationships expect some manners. Telling your loved one, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your wife/husband, or your partner is simply a respectful act. We are all entitled to know what's going on in our partner's life. Imagine if nothing was said to one another, catastrophic relationships would be ending every single day. Its simple communication and not obligations.
Now, hanging out or spending time with the loved one may be demanding, again, sounds like you could be obligated to see the person that you are in a relationship with. To my knowledge, when you catch feelings for someone, you do want to spend some times with the person so you don't feel like it's an obligation towards the partner, it's more normal than anything else. You feel content whenever you see the person so why not hanging out with them, make the best out of it. It can't always whenever you feel like, it's more about the two of you.
I mean, let's jump ten years from now, you are married, you have to live with another person, someone you love, do you still think it's an obligation? Does any married couple look like they are obligated? Yes, they do sacrifice quite plenty, but again, they do it out of love, pure love, nothing talks about obligations.

Then, there is the label situation, the issue that many of us, human being fear the most. Labels tend to show and tell someone else about the relationship to one another. For example, a mother and her son, they are labels and use labels. Imagine you are having breakfast and you see a woman, looking young enough, and a young male, they could be on a date for all you know, but having labels help understand who they are to one another, acquaintances or family. In this case, it's obvious that they are family, but some people either look rather young while others look quite older. We can't always establish a connection towards people, so being in a relationship means labels. In my opinion, they are just words to identify a situation that you are both ultimately in. You can't run away from labels all your life. We all have one, being the son or daughter to someone is one common label, is it obligated? No, it's just how it comes out!
We all have labels, throughout our lives, we encounter many titles that describe us. We are the child of two parents, we are students to a school, an employee, a husband or wife, a mother or a father, grandparents... Labels are just a word that describes our relationship towards another human being or a way to know what we are in the job life. It's only a word, yes, a word that we most of the time fear when it comes to love because that will mean that it is a commitment towards someone else... But I don't believe labels, obligations or anything of the sort are what we don't like, what we fear most.

Relationships aren't based on obligations, sacrifices, but on love. Either you do something out of love and respect or for obligations but if it happens, no feelings are involved!
Commitment is important, serious, and it does mark an end to the player that you may be. You can't run around, fool around, do whatever you want whenever you want so commitment can be quite difficult for some people. It's frightening to be a serious relationship, pay taxes, bills, groceries, no parents around, being an adult as well as being responsible for someone else, even if they are independent. Even with all these factors, it shouldn't be a bother to anyone because when you let your feelings carry you into a loving state of mind, nothing should bother you to the point of not committed yourself to someone else. 


Let your feelings out, it won't be killing you! Obligations are there, but the way you see it is rather different, you do it because it is respectful and "normal". They aren't there to annoy you, they're there to keep things in order. 

"You can't just give up on someone because the situation's not ideal. Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems. They're great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work." 

~Bella

Monday, 8 May 2017

Does Your Type of Coffee Should Matter? (4)

Coffee, coffee, coffee...
What a story! Especially if you are like me, addict!
Coffee is the hot caffeine beverage which wakes you up and gets your energy boost. Not the beverage to go to if you have anxiety!
Now, I know that coffee may be important to lots of people, me for example.

When I think of coffee, I think about the personality of the person who is drinking it. Throughout many psychologists examinations of each personality, I came up with a few different ones. 

* The Black Coffe Drinker
- Straightforward 
- Likes to keep things simple
- Quiet, but moody
-All about minimalism 

*The Espresso Drinker
- Takes on leadership
- Hard-working, but moody
- Knows how to get what they want 

* The Latte Drinker
- Tends to be neurotic
- Likes to please people
- Often indecisive when it comes to making decisions 

* The Cappuccino Drinker
- Obsessive and controlling
- Creative, honest, and motivated
- Makes excellent friends, but gets bored with unimaginative people. 

* The Frappuccino Drinker
- Will try anything once
- Adventurous and courageous
-Does not make healthy choices

* The Instant Coffee Drinker
- Cheerful and optimistic
- Laid back
- Tends to put things off

* The Soymilk Drinker 
- High-Maintenance
- Detail-Oriented
- Self-Righteous and Self-Centered

So when you enter a relationship, you are most likely to try and understand the person's personality. 
I know I observe quite plenty, realize what each coffee drinker take their coffees, and it helped me through difficult times where I couldn't figure a person out. 
My coffee preference would definitely be a cappuccino but since I can't find any place which knows how to make the perfect one, I usually go for straight black coffee or a double espresso. I ain't the latte or iced nor a frappuccino type of person. Keeping it simple is easier.  Now, since I can drink three different coffee a day, my personality isn't based on just one type of coffee. 

When you drink coffee, remember that no matter what, your personality may not just be determined by one coffee, and it shouldn't affect any relationship you may want to create.

"I'm not addicted to coffee, we are just in a committed relationship."

~Bella

Wednesday, 18 January 2017

Psych 101... PERSONALITY... What makes you... You?

When discussing personality, psychologists look at the thoughts, behaviors, and emotions that an individual has that make him or her unique- also known as a "mental system." Personality is individualized, and, for the most part, it will remain consistent throughout an individual's life. While there are many interpretations as to what constitutes personality, several key characteristics are
generally accepted in the field of study:
  • In general, there is a consistency and noticeable order to behavior. People behave in the same or similar ways in different types of situations.
  • Personality influences how a person behaves and responds to their environment, and is also the cause of behaving in particular ways.
  • While personality is a psychological concept, biological processes have a large influence and impact on it.
  • Behavior is not the only thing that displays personality. Personality can be seen in interactions with other people, relationships thoughts, and emotions.
TRAIT THEORIES

There are several theories and schools of thought that try to understand how personality develops, and many have already been discussed in depth. These include humanist theories (such as Maslow's hierarchy of needs), which emphasize the role of free will and the experience of the individual; psychoanalytic theories (like the work of Sigmund Freud) that emphasize early experiences and the unconscious); behavioral theories (like classical and operant conditioning), which suggest that the individual and his or her interaction with the environment lead to the development of personality; and trait theories, which are particularly noteworthy because of their emphasis on the difference between people. Trait theories, then, focus on finding and measuring the personality traits that comprise each individual. Throughout the history of psychology, there have been several trait theories. Among the most important are:

Allport's Trait Theory
In 1936, Harvard psychologist Gordon Allport, who also taught the very first personality psychology class in the United States, developed his trait theory of personality. Allport went through the dictionary and searched for every term he felt described a personality trait. With a list of over 4,500 words, Allport organized these traits into three categories:

1. Cardinal Traits: Traits that control and define the entire personality of an individual. As a result, these types of traits are often synonymous with the individual and are very rare. These traits include Christ-like, Narcissistic, and Machiavellian. 
2. Central Traits: Traits that are common. These include traits like friendliness, kindness, honesty, etc.
3. Secondary Traits: Traits that appear under particular conditions and circumstances. For example, becoming nervous prior to giving a speech in public. 


Cattell's Sixteen Personality Factors
Working off of Gordon Allport's theory, psychologist Raymond Cattell tookAllport's list of more than 4,200 personality traits and dwindled it down to 171 traits, by combining those that were similar to one another and removing traits that were uncommon. Cattell then created questionnaires that used these traits and tested a large population sample. Once Cattell had the results from the questionnaires, he identified any terms that were closely related and used a statistical process known as factor analysis to decrease the number of main personality traits even further. He concluded that a total of sixteen personality traits were the source of all personalities and that every single person had these traits to some degree. The sixteen personality factors Cattell identified are:
  • Abstractedness: Being imaginative and abstract versus being grounded and practical.
  • Apprehension: Being worried and insecure versus being confident and secure.
  • Dominance: Being forceful and assertive versus being submissive and secure.
  • Emotional stability: Being calm versus being emotionally unstable and high-strung.
  • Liveliness: Being enthusiastic and spontaneous versus being restrained and serious.
  • Openness to change: Being flexible and open versus being traditional and attached to the familiar. 
  • Perfectionism: Being self-disciplined and controlling versus being undisciplined and flexible.
  • Privateness: Being discreet and shrewd versus being open and unpretentious. 
  • Reasoning: Thinking abstractly and being more intelligent versus thinking concretely and being less intelligent.
  • Rule consciousness: Being conscientious and conforming versus being nonconforming and disregarding rules.
  • Self-reliance: Being self-sufficient and individualistic versus being dependent.
  • Sensitivity: Being sentimental and tender-hearted versus being unsentimental and tough-minded.
  • Social boldness: Being uninhibited and venturesome versus being shy and timid.
  • Vigilance: Being suspicious and skeptical versus being trusting and accepting.
  • Warmth: Being outgoing and attentive to people versus being distant and reserved.
"If positive psychology teaches us anything, it is that all of us are a mixture of strengths and weaknesses. No one has it all, and no one lacks it all." - Christopher Peterson

~Bella