New schedule

I know I changed my schedule around, but since two jobs and having a social life is quite difficult to balance, writing blog posts are becoming harder.

You can comprehend how difficult it is to be a responsible adult who balances social life, work life, and some alone time until you live it yourself. I never understood until I started doing it myself.

Since I'm struggling to write, to keep up with my writing, and my ideas for a second novel, I decided that only one day a week would be best, each Wednesday. It sounds pathetic, and I apologize in advance, but like I said, balancing life itself is tough so don't blame me for wanting to write less on the blog. I'll post each week, try to make better content and hopefully, I'll be able to get back to my normal schedule, two days a week.

So I'll see you all next Wednesday for a new post!

~Bella

Taking a few steps back.

A week or so ago, I wrote about my own ways of dealing with a broken heart and how I'm very unsocial. Now, these things may help me at the moment, but I know that everything I do doesn't work for everybody, and it won't help me forever. It won't work eternally, sadly. I know I will explode, one day, destroy my own self and people who I love at the same time. 

So after talking to friends I came up with a few things that work best for people, and no, I'm just talking to girls but guys as well. I don't believe heartaches only affect women. 

Big one~ Be social! No matter what you may feel, or look like, go out and enjoy the world. When you have a broken heart, being social will keep you from drowning yourself in sad movies, music. Dress up a little even if it's to get groceries, you never know if someone may catch your eyes... Be pretty or handsome for yourself! Even if it sounds stupid, you will feel better. Small gestures count. 

Big two~ Take the time to review yourself! What I mean by that is simply, take some time for yourself, treat yourself right! I do NOT mean shopping! I'm talking to most girls out there or guys who love to go shopping, getting that wallet empty. I don't mean go shopping and spend every penny on stuff you won't even use, wear or even need. Treating yourself with a massage, a road trip somewhere nice with a friend or two, going to concerts may help you a lot more than spending money in shops. 

Big three~  Don't be afraid of others approaching you. Sounds odd when you read it like this, but usually, after a breakup or a simple heartache, you tend to avoid any contact with people, and you don't believe any compliments as you are still hurting from a previous person. Letting others compliment you, approach you, talk to you and flirt with you gives you a boost of self-esteem that you need, especially during that time. After a breakup, the best you could possibly do is let people treat you well. 

Big four~ Cry away every bad feeling because it's healthy! Do not believe it's a sign of weakness, on the contrary, be proud it makes you human! Crying will help you take away the negativity that has been storing in you. 

Big five~ Catch up on things you have been postponing. You remember the projects, the passions you couldn't do during your time with your ex... Well, I've got great news for you, you can finally do them! Not the things you have been procrastinating, but the ones you couldn't do because your ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend wasn't into it. The good thing about doing these things is that it keeps your mind busy, busy from thinking about what had happened. 

Big six~ Drink! Alright, do not drink like a maniac, but responsibly! What will a glass of red wine do to you? Maybe get you tipsy for a bit but that will be it. Drinking responsibly will make you tipsy enough to be in a happy mood. I'm just pointing out how I am on this one... Don't go out, get wasted, jump on whoever is moving. That walk of shame will give you a headache the next morning. I wouldn't know much about that but from what I've heard, it's not pretty. 

Big seven~ Give love to people who deserve it. Despite the fact that you are hurt and don't want to give anything to anyone, giving out some of your love is something that will make you think twice about being sad! Instead of desperately searching for someone else, give some love. Instead of spreading some hate, spread some love.

Big eight~ Live in the present and future instead of the past. Being nostalgic is a thing that everyone has to live through at least once either via listening to a song or eating something your deceased grandmother used to cook, but do you have to live every day in the past? It's already written and cannot be re-written. The best you can do in this situation is to think about the present and the future as it is happening and you have the power to change the future as it hasn't happened yet. Why bother going back to the past, knowing it was awful? 

Being heartbroken isn't something fun to deal with, easy to manage and despite how much stuff you will do to keep that mind of yours busy, only time can repair a broken heart. There are ways to help such as the ones I listed above but it won't cure a broken heart. The only thing that has worked is when I fell in love with someone else. I had completely forgotten my ex but this time... I'm still in the process of repairing my broken heart! 

Having your heart broken isn't something meant to be pleasant, and it hurts. Now, the way you deal with it is up to you! Either stay in bed, depressed, listening to sad music, watching romantic movies, and crying an ocean or you pick yourself up. Get that ass out of bed, drag yourself outside if necessary but do not sob yourself away because you are better than the person who hurt you! 

Hopefully, you have better luck than me!

"If it's real, it'll hurt like hell."

~Bella

Does your anxiety should matter? (16)

Anxiety...

It should matter in a relationship, not the way you may think though! It shouldn't matter when you fall for the person but later on, when you are serious, trust me, anxiety is serious and it should be taken into consideration... Once again... Later on!

When you are entering a relationship with someone who suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, you have to know a few things first. Can't throw yourself in the hole without knowing much about anxiety itself and what you will be getting into as the relationship progress...

Primo ~ Always remember that anxiety is a real battle between you and your mind. The battle may end up being heinous especially when it leaves your mind to go straight to your body becoming a panic attack. As time pass by, the anxiety gets better (most of the time), you are more prone to control it but it is a condition that your partner has to live with as well. You don't just get into a relationship with the person but with their anxiety as well.

Secondo ~ You have to remember that you being around is the only thing you can do. Panic attacks are tricky little things. Your partner may not always know how to make it disappear, make an anxiety go away. And you cannot do anything about it, you can only wait, give them your support, be there for them.

Terzo ~ Instead of shaming your partner's condition try to be supportive! Saying things such as "get over it" or "just relax" will not help us in any way. If it was this simple, everyone would have gotten over the anxiety, but it isn't, trust me, I tried multiple times before, it failed. We know our anxiety doesn't just affect us but the people we love as well, and we know how it came you feel. Would you tell a depressed person to stop being sad all the time?

Quarto ~ Don't go tell everyone about your partner's anxiety. Mental illness isn't something to take lightly.  We are seen as insane people. Some people think that since we have a roof over our heads, clothes to wear and food to keep us alive should leave us with no worries. What is there to worry about? People judge and when you are in a relationship with someone you are supposed to have their backs not to stab them when you have the chance. If you want to express something about their anxiety to someone, ask for their permission.

Quinto ~ Anxiety has triggers and you may eventually be one. Being in a relationship with you adds up to our anxiety. Just because we love you and we are ready to do whatever we need to make you happy doesn't mean our anxiety will magically skip over you. Anxiety will always make us question everything, how to respond to your text message, what happen if we upset you in any way?

Even though it may seem like a lot to take in (there's more to all of this, but these are the important ones, in my opinion. You also need to never forget that we still love you no matter how our anxiety destroys us.
Should it matter?
I think you can answer the question yourself!

"I over analyze situations because I'm scared of what will happen if I'm not prepared for it."

~Bella
Ps: This is the last post on the Should It Matter little serie.

Does your feelings should matter? (8)

"Feelings? "You ask?

Feelings are these emotional states which make you react a certain way. We all experience feelings at some point, every day we feel emotions, so why should feelings matter? Well here is my opinion on the subject! 

To me, when you are in a serious relationship, showing feelings, talking about them is as important as sex can be. Yes, many of you think that sex is the most important thing about relationships, as far as I see it, sex is just another reason to make a relationship grow. To my own belief, talking about what's going on with you is another important part which somehow falls off the grid half of the time.
When was the last time you talked to your partner about your feelings?
When was the last time you had a decent conversation about the feelings you are experiencing?

It is quite difficult to be open minded, to be comfortable enough with the other person, talk about sensitive subjects...

Talking about feelings is not a sign of weakness and it surely shouldn't give you a reason to be afraid of rejection! You are terrified of rejection, living alone, swallowing all these feelings because of phobias. Come on now, feelings aren't going to kill you, open up to the person you love and don't be afraid of talking. If they judge you, don't try to understand your feelings, they are most likely not the right person for you! Remember feelings do matter, anything could happen, but don't be fooled by your fears. 

While all relationships must be built around positivity, love, respect, and kindness, these emotions can go sideways quickly enough if both person doesn't let the other talk, listen, help. Anger, sadness, frustration and other emotions may give the chance for your partner to talk about the feelings, approach them, try to understand your concerns. It's intimacy and it's important in every relationship. If you let your fears, phobias take over, intimacy is nearly impossible and the chance of you opening up, letting your love go wild is thrown out the door. 

Holding up some feelings such as anger may result in a vicious cycle which could potentially lead to a possible breakup. 

As far as I'm concerned, you should be talking to your partner, talk about your feelings!

"I'm a simple person who hides a thousand feelings behind the happiest smile." 

~Bella

Does Your Type of Coffee Should Matter? (4)

Coffee, coffee, coffee...
What a story! Especially if you are like me, addict!
Coffee is the hot caffeine beverage which wakes you up and gets your energy boost. Not the beverage to go to if you have anxiety!

Now, I know that coffee may be important to lots of people, me for example.

When I think of coffee, I think about the personality of the person who is drinking it. Throughout many psychologists examinations of each personality, I came up with a few different ones. 

* The Black Coffe Drinker
- Straightforward 
- Likes to keep things simple
- Quiet, but moody
-All about minimalism 

*The Espresso Drinker
- Takes on leadership
- Hard-working, but moody
- Knows how to get what they want 

* The Latte Drinker
- Tends to be neurotic
- Likes to please people
- Often indecisive when it comes to making decisions 

* The Cappuccino Drinker
- Obsessive and controlling
- Creative, honest, and motivated
- Makes excellent friends, but gets bored with unimaginative people. 

* The Frappuccino Drinker
- Will try anything once
- Adventurous and courageous
-Does not make healthy choices

* The Instant Coffee Drinker
- Cheerful and optimistic
- Laid back
- Tends to put things off

* The Soymilk Drinker 
- High-Maintenance
- Detail-Oriented
- Self-Righteous and Self-Centered

So when you enter a relationship, you are most likely to try and understand the person's personality. 
I know I observe quite plenty, realize what each coffee drinker take their coffees, and it helped me through difficult times where I couldn't figure a person out. 

My coffee preference would definitely be a cappuccino but since I can't find any place which knows how to make the perfect one, I usually go for straight black coffee or a double espresso. I ain't the latte or iced nor a frappuccino type of person. Keeping it simple is easier.  Now, since I can drink three different coffee a day, my personality isn't based on just one type of coffee. 

When you drink coffee, remember that no matter what, your personality may not just be determined by one coffee, and it shouldn't affect any relationship you may want to create.

"I'm not addicted to coffee, we are just in a committed relationship."

~Bella