A week or so ago, I wrote about my own ways of dealing with a broken heart and how I'm very unsocial. Now, these things may help me at the moment, but I know that everything I do doesn't work for everybody, and it won't help me forever. It won't work eternally, sadly. I know I will explode, one day, destroy my own self and people who I love at the same time.
So after talking to friends I came up with a few things that work best for people, and no, I'm just talking to girls but guys as well. I don't believe heartaches only affect women.
Big one~ Be social! No matter what you may feel, or look like, go out and enjoy the world. When you have a broken heart, being social will keep you from drowning yourself in sad movies, music. Dress up a little even if it's to get groceries, you never know if someone may catch your eyes... Be pretty or handsome for yourself! Even if it sounds stupid, you will feel better. Small gestures count.
Big two~ Take the time to review yourself! What I mean by that is simply, take some time for yourself, treat yourself right! I do NOT mean shopping! I'm talking to most girls out there or guys who love to go shopping, getting that wallet empty. I don't mean go shopping and spend every penny on stuff you won't even use, wear or even need. Treating yourself with a massage, a road trip somewhere nice with a friend or two, going to concerts may help you a lot more than spending money in shops.
Big three~ Don't be afraid of others approaching you. Sounds odd when you read it like this, but usually, after a breakup or a simple heartache, you tend to avoid any contact with people, and you don't believe any compliments as you are still hurting from a previous person. Letting others compliment you, approach you, talk to you and flirt with you gives you a boost of self-esteem that you need, especially during that time. After a breakup, the best you could possibly do is let people treat you well.
Big four~ Cry away every bad feeling because it's healthy! Do not believe it's a sign of weakness, on the contrary, be proud it makes you human! Crying will help you take away the negativity that has been storing in you.
Big five~ Catch up on things you have been postponing. You remember the projects, the passions you couldn't do during your time with your ex... Well, I've got great news for you, you can finally do them! Not the things you have been procrastinating, but the ones you couldn't do because your ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend wasn't into it. The good thing about doing these things is that it keeps your mind busy, busy from thinking about what had happened.
Big six~ Drink! Alright, do not drink like a maniac, but responsibly! What will a glass of red wine do to you? Maybe get you tipsy for a bit but that will be it. Drinking responsibly will make you tipsy enough to be in a happy mood. I'm just pointing out how I am on this one... Don't go out, get wasted, jump on whoever is moving. That walk of shame will give you a headache the next morning. I wouldn't know much about that but from what I've heard, it's not pretty.
Big seven~ Give love to people who deserve it. Despite the fact that you are hurt and don't want to give anything to anyone, giving out some of your love is something that will make you think twice about being sad! Instead of desperately searching for someone else, give some love. Instead of spreading some hate, spread some love.
Big eight~ Live in the present and future instead of the past. Being nostalgic is a thing that everyone has to live through at least once either via listening to a song or eating something your deceased grandmother used to cook, but do you have to live every day in the past? It's already written and cannot be re-written. The best you can do in this situation is to think about the present and the future as it is happening and you have the power to change the future as it hasn't happened yet. Why bother going back to the past, knowing it was awful?
Being heartbroken isn't something fun to deal with, easy to manage and despite how much stuff you will do to keep that mind of yours busy, only time can repair a broken heart. There are ways to help such as the ones I listed above but it won't cure a broken heart. The only thing that has worked is when I fell in love with someone else. I had completely forgotten my ex but this time... I'm still in the process of repairing my broken heart!
Having your heart broken isn't something meant to be pleasant, and it hurts. Now, the way you deal with it is up to you! Either stay in bed, depressed, listening to sad music, watching romantic movies, and crying an ocean or you pick yourself up. Get that ass out of bed, drag yourself outside if necessary but do not sob yourself away because you are better than the person who hurt you!
Hopefully, you have better luck than me!
"If it's real, it'll hurt like hell."
~Bella
Every morning, the sun rises, or rain crash on your window. We hear kids going to school, laughing one another...
Waking up happy isn't what we do.
We are allowing anxiety, fears, regrets and resentments take over our actions. Even though coffee or showers may help, but it doesn't solve everything.
The good news is that there are many things we can do to help us grow stronger, move away from pain and get the negativity and mental habits that clutter our minds leave us.
How to let go of the past... Not an easy question to answer, but I had the experience to actually use a few ways to let it all go and start being happy. It's difficult, I'm still learning, but I promise if you try to really do it and take it seriously, you will make it out alright!
Little one:
Your childhood dreams back to childhood! We all dream of becoming a knight, a princess, a cowboy, a teacher... But we most likely won't make these dreams come true, we grow up from these.Until you let go and let them be just a souvenir, they will tug at you! Some dreams are possible, wanting to go watch your favorite sports team play or hike in the mountains. It doesn't cost too much time nor money, so go for it! Take chances, releasing the charge will be a happier experience than the experience itself. Otherwise, write down your childhood dream on paper, let it flow down the stream or burn it, free yourself from your past!
Little two:
Kick perfectionism out the door! Perfect is the enemy of pretty good. And good is what gets up forward. Perfection doesn't exist, you make it happen by accepting flaws. Move forward, don't try to search for perfection!
Little three:
Stop trying to impress everyone! What's the catch? It's not you, it's a mask that covers your true self. Some people are either going to be too hard to impress, or they will be too easy to do so, but they aren't worth your efforts. So you want to impress someone, impress yourself.
Little four:
Get your buttom working out! Go run, speed walk, jump up and down, go dance, or the gym. Release anger, stress, to increase happy hormones (endorphins). It's legal, free, and healthy! Go ahead!
Little five:
Speak your own truth! You can speak up and speak your mind, indeed, but don't push it! Find a safer way to express what you are feeling, write it down or truth a friend, someone you can really talk to about everything without worrying about judgments. Blow off all that roiling angry energy and clear your mind so you can make positive, helpful choices in your life. You don't need any poison in your life!
Little six:
Stop putting yourself down! As a wise man said, "Do not complain about the things you cannot change. And the things you can change? Do not complain about them either". To make it clear, if there are aspects of your personality or life you'd like to change, release condemning yourself and simply take steps to start changing it. Action inspires self-love, motivation, and joy.
Little seven:
Put yourself in other's shoes! Your perspective is highly different than others as we commonly think differently. Try to imagine yourself in someone's life! You'll grow wiser as well as more compassionate! You'll feel so much better about yourself, your life, and you will appreciate what is around you.
Little eight:
Get serious, real when it comes to love! It's only an idea that you have one "soul mate". Even if you went through a really tough breakup or lost someone, there's no reason not to believe you are capable of loving another. G.S Saw said about marriage, that it's "based on the exaggeration of one woman's value about all others."
"One of the most courageous decisions you'll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul." -Brigitte Nicole
~Bella
