"What should I do?"

Take it slow, or just go for it...

I recently crossed a small issue... A small unexpected heartache, nothing special, but special for me to make it a big deal out of it. When am I not making a big deal out of a love story or love issue?  It might actually be my hopeless romantic side of me kicking in each time something is happening, each time I get attention from a guy, a sweet guy.

To get back on track of the post, it's about this person who doesn't have the best reputation around town, not the best past when it comes to relationships, nor have the best current health. Sadly, when you hear things from friends, you tend to back off a little which doesn't give a good impression to the other person. Listening to everyone doesn't give you everything on the person you are interested in, and even if you know it yourself, your friends' judgments are important as well as your own because you want to trust them.
In my case, I'm still trying to make my own judgment, my own thoughts, and even if I see good in him, I have my friends around with their own sayings. Despite the fact that I adore learning more about someone by myself, I like to have some background on the person, knowing some dirt, and this time the dirt isn't that bad. And yet...

Should I listen to everyone? Should I listen to every bad comment? Every little thing everyone has to say about the person when I know my own reputation isn't the best either?
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Everyone is entitled to share them with you, but the good news is that it is up to you if you want to take everything or not. Opinions are based on interpretations, people's interpretations. So why do we listen to them, why do we take them into consideration? Why do we care this much? Because humans care, humans need other's approbation and even if you try to ignore it, deep down you know you want to please others as well.
I personally try not to please everyone as I know I won't be able to do so, can't be liked by every single person on the planet, but what my friends say have to affect me in some ways. I get affected because I put some kind of trust in them, trust that wasn't easy to gain in the first place as I don't trust anyone. If you are one who takes it personally, please don't, it's unnecessary as I don't even trust my own mother, well, not entirely. 

Hard to make your own opinion when you hear, listen to people, when you are living in a small town where everyone, almost everyone knows each other. When half of the population love to gossip around. My little issue is knowing that the guy who I appreciate and trust enough, isn't liked by my friends, isn't understood and somehow, despite the fact that everything is against him, my mother nor one of my bartender don't seem to have something against him at all. Well, to be fairly honest, it's my bartender who introduced me to him. Yes, my bartender, the one who doesn't want to see me leave the country, doesn't want me to go back home. The same bartender who is looking for my future husband, the same one who is always asking "When are you getting married?"
It is his fault if this guy and myself are always trying to see each other when we are at certain bars. It's the same bartender who has to tease me and the guy when we are sitting next to each other, telling us how a perfect couple we are in front of other customers. Talk about intimacy and friendship... That's nearly impossible when your bartender has to come in the way, teasing us nonstop about our relationship, the one which isn't there yet!

Indeed, my mother met the guy, (let's call him Connor even though it's completely different). My mother never saw anything bad about Connor, thought a good shave and a good haircut would make him look more handsome, his posture needs some improvement, but other than that, she saw something else... Something much deeper than appearance. My mother always needs to see what's behind the appearance. See what's makes the person themselves. The sweetness, the gentle way he had to look at me and her, the charming little smile he gave her as he shook her hand, shy and a bit sad. All she saw was the pain he had to endure. Not sure how she got that from seeing him for thirty minutes. I guess body language is more powerful than words. The entire time, my mother was sitting across from me, next to my friend, observing Connor, observing his every move, seeing how he was, how he observed back at us at certain moments. My mother doesn't come off as easy, just nice, too nice and trustworthy. She trusts too easily as well that's why I tend to not show her anyone, never make her meet that many people especially around my group of friends. But this time, she took all her energy not to trust Connor, to have a harder opinion of him, harder first impression.

Now, my opinion, my thoughts are in between two chairs. On one side, my friends who are harder to impress, harder on Connor, and then, the others who try to see the 'why' behind his actions, the more understandable ones. I'm between two different opinions, different views, and mine just happen to be blurry. Completely blurry. Making it difficult to see the right and the wrong. 

Then again, you can't rely on anyone's judgements except yours as you will have to live with your own choice, not anyone else. 

"A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follow the public opinion." 

~Bella

Now she's gone... So is he...

A few weeks later, the post is back... Sorry for not posting for a while, busy life has being in the way making it difficult to write, especially when the inspiration isn't around. Can't force it... So welcome back! 


Have you ever dreamed of becoming famous? Be a wealthy lawyer? Have a pool in your home? Own a Ferrari? Dreamed of becoming the next best world dancer? Have a family with a dog? Own your own company? 

A dream? A simple dream?
I sure had lots of them as a kid, and despite obstacles that life threw at me, I still have them to this day. My mother always told me to believe in them, to do whatever it takes to make them a reality, to believe in myself, but sadly, I never truly thought I was capable of much. Even my teachers, on my school year report card, "B... needs to believe in herself a bit more. She is capable of a lot, but lack of self-confidence is making her be in the back more often than the front..." And I will pass on the details of what they all thought of me. Apparently, I was doing acceptable work, but since I was lacking such self-esteem, my teachers always had something to say on the subject. It never helped me, I always took it as a bad comment for myself. The more they said it, the more they had to comment on the view I had on myself, the more they made it seem like something was wrong with me, the less I was going to think good things about myself... I never grew out of this insane loop, the twist is the more they would talk about my low-self-esteem, the more I was going to have it. It never helped.
Not only I had to read comments from teachers, but my father never truly supported my decisions, supported my dreams... Supported me in general. One could say "He did, what are you talking about? When you were playing piano, he was forcing you, putting you down as soon as you made a slight mistake, he was pushing you to do better." Not sure if that would be supporting me. To me, it felt more like a "need to be better" than " if you want to be better". 

I can't argue with this, but you have to be in my shoes for just a second, and for that to happen, let me tell you a short story.
Once upon a time... 
Just kidding, I won't start with the most common beginning.
"I can hear the mistake you just made, start from the beginning!" My father would tell me when my finger slipped on the wrong note. Yes, it would happen, a slight slide towards another note would be fatal, but I was careful, and still learning so I had excuses. For my father, it was a whole different story! I started piano when I was young, feeling the keys under my fingertips, being in control of what I was playing was quite a nice feeling altogether. I was a fast learning, and my piano teacher saw the opportunity to write new piano sheets for me, between the pop rock and the unbearable indie, alternative songs that I would love to listen to, he had work to do. My piano teacher was an amazing pianist, and he always managed to write music sheets according to my level. I think he was one of those people who sent me higher, telling me I was talented and if I continued I would do much more. But life got in the way, and once again a dream was cut short. Today, I don't own a piano, but still play around on hard surfaces, having melodies playing in my head, melodies which I haven't played in years, but only with my fingers playing around. The ones I would enjoy singing along to as they were famous pop-rock songs from an old French band. Yes, even at a young age, I was fascinated with oldies. I was never one for lessons, but if I had the chance to play something I loved, I would go right ahead. Going to school for piano wasn't a desire, but I could have got the chance to go if I desired, but that again, is one more lost cause. The day I change my mind on something set, it will be snowing in Santa Barbara, and let's be honest, I don't see that coming soon.

To get back to the short story, my father made my life a living nightmare when it came to practising. He would force me, put me down whenever he had the chance to, and even if I was performing well, no applause,  no reactions just, "Continue" or "Start again". Talk about dictatorship... Playing piano was never a dream but it slowly became one. I dreamed of playing and owning my own grand piano, the long black ones. To play for hours even if I was awful at it, I would keep going. I lost a lot of my capacity over the years of non-playing. Each time I touch a piano, my mind goes directly to the bad comments that my father would say on each occasion.
Owning my own black long piano is a dream, and it could potentially happen, I'm not on my deathbed yet, I've got time, I hope I do, so I can make this dream come true..."

Dreams may sound like the wishes that are nearly impossible to do, to have, that's why they are called dreams. The things you wish you had, the things you could do, could say. The things that are in the back of your head, waiting for you to fall asleep to surface and send you to dreamland, the land of every possibility.

Tonight, my mother decided to message me, to tell me how she wants to see me happy even if that means not seeing me as much. As for the past few months now, I want to go to back to Europe, live there and not come back to the States. To finalise my stay back in Ireland where I belong. It's difficult when you don't belong in a country you don't understand others' life views. A country where half of the population is ignorant enough to make you think twice about why you started talking to them in the first place. Tough times, tough life, tough situations, it's only getting worse... The more I see and talk to people in Santa Barbara, the more I miss home, I miss Europe in general. 
Even though I live in California, my mind is elsewhere, somewhere where I feel like home, feel like I belong there without asking myself questions. And with this, I started developing a dream, a goal of a sort. Own my little pub where there'll be books to read in the back of the little pub, sort of like a tea shop/ library. Combining three of my favourites, tea, pub, and books. 

What my mother hasn't realised is my mind has set, and I won't change it, I will leave this country, this state and even if it doesn't make her happy, I know deep down, she'll understand. Not sure how I'll break the news to her, but I will... Somehow...

To conclude this post, if you have a dream, don't let anyone make you think twice about it. Just go for it, fight for it, believe in it and never give up because everything is possible if you set your mind to it. 
Dreams are here for reasons, to give you hope, faith in yourself. Just don't let yourself down, don't cut yourself short because an obstacle is in the way. You never know what may come around, because if you haven't succeeded it just means it's still on its way to you. A little more time is required, that's all. 

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Roosevelt

~Bella

Taking a few steps back.

A week or so ago, I wrote about my own ways of dealing with a broken heart and how I'm very unsocial. Now, these things may help me at the moment, but I know that everything I do doesn't work for everybody, and it won't help me forever. It won't work eternally, sadly. I know I will explode, one day, destroy my own self and people who I love at the same time. 

So after talking to friends I came up with a few things that work best for people, and no, I'm just talking to girls but guys as well. I don't believe heartaches only affect women. 

Big one~ Be social! No matter what you may feel, or look like, go out and enjoy the world. When you have a broken heart, being social will keep you from drowning yourself in sad movies, music. Dress up a little even if it's to get groceries, you never know if someone may catch your eyes... Be pretty or handsome for yourself! Even if it sounds stupid, you will feel better. Small gestures count. 

Big two~ Take the time to review yourself! What I mean by that is simply, take some time for yourself, treat yourself right! I do NOT mean shopping! I'm talking to most girls out there or guys who love to go shopping, getting that wallet empty. I don't mean go shopping and spend every penny on stuff you won't even use, wear or even need. Treating yourself with a massage, a road trip somewhere nice with a friend or two, going to concerts may help you a lot more than spending money in shops. 

Big three~  Don't be afraid of others approaching you. Sounds odd when you read it like this, but usually, after a breakup or a simple heartache, you tend to avoid any contact with people, and you don't believe any compliments as you are still hurting from a previous person. Letting others compliment you, approach you, talk to you and flirt with you gives you a boost of self-esteem that you need, especially during that time. After a breakup, the best you could possibly do is let people treat you well. 

Big four~ Cry away every bad feeling because it's healthy! Do not believe it's a sign of weakness, on the contrary, be proud it makes you human! Crying will help you take away the negativity that has been storing in you. 

Big five~ Catch up on things you have been postponing. You remember the projects, the passions you couldn't do during your time with your ex... Well, I've got great news for you, you can finally do them! Not the things you have been procrastinating, but the ones you couldn't do because your ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend wasn't into it. The good thing about doing these things is that it keeps your mind busy, busy from thinking about what had happened. 

Big six~ Drink! Alright, do not drink like a maniac, but responsibly! What will a glass of red wine do to you? Maybe get you tipsy for a bit but that will be it. Drinking responsibly will make you tipsy enough to be in a happy mood. I'm just pointing out how I am on this one... Don't go out, get wasted, jump on whoever is moving. That walk of shame will give you a headache the next morning. I wouldn't know much about that but from what I've heard, it's not pretty. 

Big seven~ Give love to people who deserve it. Despite the fact that you are hurt and don't want to give anything to anyone, giving out some of your love is something that will make you think twice about being sad! Instead of desperately searching for someone else, give some love. Instead of spreading some hate, spread some love.

Big eight~ Live in the present and future instead of the past. Being nostalgic is a thing that everyone has to live through at least once either via listening to a song or eating something your deceased grandmother used to cook, but do you have to live every day in the past? It's already written and cannot be re-written. The best you can do in this situation is to think about the present and the future as it is happening and you have the power to change the future as it hasn't happened yet. Why bother going back to the past, knowing it was awful? 

Being heartbroken isn't something fun to deal with, easy to manage and despite how much stuff you will do to keep that mind of yours busy, only time can repair a broken heart. There are ways to help such as the ones I listed above but it won't cure a broken heart. The only thing that has worked is when I fell in love with someone else. I had completely forgotten my ex but this time... I'm still in the process of repairing my broken heart! 

Having your heart broken isn't something meant to be pleasant, and it hurts. Now, the way you deal with it is up to you! Either stay in bed, depressed, listening to sad music, watching romantic movies, and crying an ocean or you pick yourself up. Get that ass out of bed, drag yourself outside if necessary but do not sob yourself away because you are better than the person who hurt you! 

Hopefully, you have better luck than me!

"If it's real, it'll hurt like hell."

~Bella

Does your clothing style should matter? (14)

I think it's safe to say that no matter what our point of view on clothes is, we have a sense of style, particular one, sure, but one indeed. 

This sense of style may change over time as you mature up, or have a serious relationship. Getting involved with someone means you have to say goodbye to a few piece of clothing. 

For about two weeks now, I've been into this TV show, How I Met Your Mother.

Quite the show if I may say! During a couple of episodes, we can tell that no matter how much you love someone, one piece of clothing may seem to annoy you. In the show, Lily and Marshall, a loving married couple, have gone through a similar path where Lily didn't like the overall that Marshall loved. Now, when you grow up when you enter an important job like Marshall did, you have to suit up. 

The show is quite right on a lot, and it does remind me of FRIENDS a little. Both shows make us realize what life is all about, give life tips, love lessons, friendship perspective. You name it, both shows make us see the reality of this world. And... Sadly, the style of clothing we choose to wear at some point may not be the same in a year. 

When it comes to relationships, we have this happy stage, many of us go through.... Look at the same carefully next time... 

When that happy stage hits us, we are most likely to wear our favourite dress or favourite shirt. Depending on who we are, what we like. 

Next step is how confident we are about the relationship! Feeling confident about the relationship may be shown by how we want to impress the other person. It helps you sail across tougher times by being optimistic and somehow your choice of clothing comes along as well. 

Not always sunny in the relationship world, depression may come along in every way, your style of clothing will scream "DEPRESSION". 

Darker colours will show up more often than expected, and no, you will continue wearing darker colours until your mood switch back into the happy place. 

Now, when you are in a relationship, a real commitment, you will most likely deal with the obvious change in your closet. Either you will look more adult like, or professional, laid back (not a care in the world about your other half's opinion), more colour, less colours. Don't get me wrong, when you enter a committed relationship, you aren't looking at his sense of style (slightly will), you will not base your judgments on his clothes, but in the long run, some clothes will have to say goodbye to the dear closet. These red cowboy boots, the too-short of a dress, the kid tee-shirt that you wear on your lazy day, your wedges... When in a relationship, you have to sacrifice a bit of you, and clothing items are a part of it. 

So to conclude this little post, your fashion style shouldn't matter when you start loving someone, but it will be later on in life. Be careful how you choose your clothes, every situation is different. I'm not saying you should change your style because of someone else, do it for yourself first. Dress however you like, but still be careful! 

" Fashion is about suspense and surprise and fantasy. It's not about rules." - Wolfgang Joop

~Bella

It's never too late to realize...

A couple of years ago, my whole perspective of life was different from now. You may think to yourself, "Well people mature up, develop, think differently over the years."
Not everyone will agree with this, but I do because my views on life have changed. I grew up in a couple of years...
Experiences, life events, issues that I had to cope with... They may change your mind on a few things, I know they did for me. 

Here's a little story, without too many details! 

Since I could remember, my relationship with my father hasn't been the best. He was always away at work and would come home during the weekend just to work in the garden or on the house. To be fairly honest, he wouldn't spend much time with me, a little more with my brother, though! Not something I minded since I had my mother, brother, and friends around. But then things started to become horrific, out of control after my mother talked about divorce. I don't think anyone will jump up and down, joyful nor excited about such a news. Yet, 'some respect is supposed to be socially acceptable. It didn't happen though. My father took it awfully badly which led to many terrible events and non-acceptable comments. To this day, my father hates my mother, despise to the point of making her sick, emotionally sick. Hating her with a passion even after rebuilding a new life with a new woman and a new child. 
I haven't talked or seen him for over 4 years now, quite a while to be fairly honest. Didn't occur to me to forgive him for what he had done, until just a couple of weeks ago. No, I'm still not ready to forgive him, I'm just ready to move on from him, from my own father. 
I'm finally accepting the fact that my dear father doesn't want anything to do with me. Accepting the fact that my father will never want to apologize for his past and recent actions, or will let see my half sister. Hopefully not never...
This said, even if I'm ready to move on, I'm far from believing I will ever be able to forgive my father's actions, sayings, behaviors. 
How can you forgive someone when that same person doesn't give you any explanations, no reasons behind their actions? 
I don't think anyone would be able to forgive my father, even if he was apologizing because saying, "sorry" hurts him too much. 
My father has a big mouth,  but when it comes to saying the right thing, he shut his mouth. No actions, nothing. It's sad but true! 

Moving forward means saying goodbye to the past and saying hello to the now. It's a new adventure that awaits you! Indeed it is scary as we do not know what the future holds, but remember that without today and a tomorrow, you get stuck in the past, the already written past, the one who is supposed to teach you a valuable lesson. 
My childhood isn't the greatest one, and I had to mature up faster than most kids, but at the end of the day, I'm still here, growing up every day. So you may feel like you are alone, but you aren't, many of us are just like you with difficult childhoods. My story may not have had such a happy beginning, but I will make sure to have a happy ending! Just like in Disney movies... 

"Confine yourself to the present." - Marcus Aurelius

~Bella

Chemistry... Explain Yourself!

Have you ever felt a magnetic pull towards certain individuals? Something you cannot explain in word form.

Some would call it chemistry, others would call it love at first sight. Both true as it is still undetermined, an unexplainable emotion which cannot be translated or put into words.

Let's not get confused on what chemistry is though, it's a simple yet complex emotion when two people share a special connection and it is not necessarily a sexual connection. Having chemistry with someone is still to this day an unsolved mystery. An unexpected mystery which many believe in different theories. As someone said before, "Chemistry has a purpose. It's not random, it's not a fluke." A strong attraction that many think is bad. But is it that bad?
Sure, if you want a quiet, simple life, having a strong attraction isn't for you. Wanting an uncomplicated love life is nearly impossible, it's something we all wish for, yet, we, humans are complex. Being easy doesn't seem to be on the program.
I can't talk to you about chemistry without giving you my own experience and what I've seen throughout the years.

To begin... Let's go back to the story of these two strangers on the street. If you haven't read the short, odd story, click here, http://onemorecupidtothelist.blogspot.com/2017/06/little-story.html

Like I said in the post, I felt secure with the guy. One specific person who happened to be a stranger.

As cheesy as it may seems, I had some type of attraction towards the person. Some type of chemistry, and all I could think about is "Will I ever see him again?", "Will we ever talk again?" It was an impulse which wouldn't leave me, still hasn't left.

To describe chemistry in a few words, it's a combination of basic psychological arousal combined with a feeling of pleasure. Rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, and sensations of excitement that are often similar to sensations associated with danger. It's a sensation you cannot control, like the uncontrollable smile whenever you are thinking about that person... I think I'm officially making a fool of myself trying to explain what chemistry is all about. 
Having this emotion is an amazing experience, something that makes you happy, but it is also an emotion I wish no one had to deal with. Chemistry doesn't necessarily guarantee a chance of you seeing the person or talk to them again. Don't expect that, not many get this lucky. It's an emotion which may turn into a nightmare, living nightmare. I would know about it, trust me, I'm currently living this nightmare myself and ... Sadly, I cannot stop thinking or do something without thinking about a particular person... Cherry on top, I hadn't had to deal with chemistry with one stranger but two. Again, not a happy feeling as now, I'm stuck looking at people passing me by on the streets or looking at motorcycles like a kid on Christmas wishing it was the person. My thoughts are going wild, and instead of my being like my friend, I talked about it, I speak my mind. 
If you experience chemistry with someone go for it, you may be lucky, but remember that if the person has no intention calling you, texting you or anything, chemistry was only felt on your part and not on their part. 

"There is something beautiful about unforced bonds; the energy is real." 
~Bella

Labels, Obligations, and the Obvious...

How would you describe a relationship?

Simple yet complex question to answer. There's no right or wrong response as we are all free to think whatever we wish. A relationship may have similarities as well as differences. Each person is different making each relationship different! 

To conclude this short paragraph, there isn't a right answer to such question, and I certainly won't be the most experienced on the subject. Yet... With my own poor experiences, seeing my mother's relationships, her friends as well as mine, I can tell you a lot about it! 

Relationships may have a frightening side which may affect many of us and resulting in people not wanted to go forth with relationships.
It means commitment towards another human being and sadly, some of us aren't ready for such a situation. Thinking about two people instead of yourself, telling them whenever you have a meeting or trip, making sacrifices in order to make sure the other's happiness is on track... I mean I could go on like this, listing everything that a relationship needs, but I won't for everyone's sake.

Even though there are multiple factors against relationships, I still believe, hope (mostly), those relationships are more than obligations towards the partner/ lover. Yes, it may seem like you are obligated towards them, to hang out, to listen to them complain about their day, or obligated to tell them about your coming business trip. But when you have feelings when you let them approach you, fill you with warm loving sentiments, these so-called obligations pass as completely normal behaviors.
When you let feelings come along, respect comes along as well. Being respectful towards another human being is what society expects, so relationships expect some manners. Telling your loved one, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your wife/husband, or your partner is simply a respectful act. We are all entitled to know what's going on in our partner's life. Imagine if nothing was said to one another, catastrophic relationships would be ending every single day. Its simple communication and not obligations.
Now, hanging out or spending time with the loved one may be demanding, again, sounds like you could be obligated to see the person that you are in a relationship with. To my knowledge, when you catch feelings for someone, you do want to spend some times with the person so you don't feel like it's an obligation towards the partner, it's more normal than anything else. You feel content whenever you see the person so why not hanging out with them, make the best out of it. It can't always whenever you feel like, it's more about the two of you.
I mean, let's jump ten years from now, you are married, you have to live with another person, someone you love, do you still think it's an obligation? Does any married couple look like they are obligated? Yes, they do sacrifice quite plenty, but again, they do it out of love, pure love, nothing talks about obligations.

Then, there is the label situation, the issue that many of us, human being fear the most. Labels tend to show and tell someone else about the relationship to one another. For example, a mother and her son, they are labels and use labels. Imagine you are having breakfast and you see a woman, looking young enough, and a young male, they could be on a date for all you know, but having labels help understand who they are to one another, acquaintances or family. In this case, it's obvious that they are family, but some people either look rather young while others look quite older. We can't always establish a connection towards people, so being in a relationship means labels. In my opinion, they are just words to identify a situation that you are both ultimately in. You can't run away from labels all your life. We all have one, being the son or daughter to someone is one common label, is it obligated? No, it's just how it comes out!
We all have labels, throughout our lives, we encounter many titles that describe us. We are the child of two parents, we are students to a school, an employee, a husband or wife, a mother or a father, grandparents... Labels are just a word that describes our relationship towards another human being or a way to know what we are in the job life. It's only a word, yes, a word that we most of the time fear when it comes to love because that will mean that it is a commitment towards someone else... But I don't believe labels, obligations or anything of the sort are what we don't like, what we fear most.

Relationships aren't based on obligations, sacrifices, but on love. Either you do something out of love and respect or for obligations but if it happens, no feelings are involved!
Commitment is important, serious, and it does mark an end to the player that you may be. You can't run around, fool around, do whatever you want whenever you want so commitment can be quite difficult for some people. It's frightening to be a serious relationship, pay taxes, bills, groceries, no parents around, being an adult as well as being responsible for someone else, even if they are independent. Even with all these factors, it shouldn't be a bother to anyone because when you let your feelings carry you into a loving state of mind, nothing should bother you to the point of not committed yourself to someone else. 

Let your feelings out, it won't be killing you! Obligations are there, but the way you see it is rather different, you do it because it is respectful and "normal". They aren't there to annoy you, they're there to keep things in order. 

"You can't just give up on someone because the situation's not ideal. Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems. They're great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work." 

~Bella

Does Your Taste of Music Should Matter? (5)

Music... Music... Music...

I cannot stand the idea of not listening to music. I need it when I get sad, happy, anxious, doing the laundry or cooking. 

When I get into a relationship I want to know about the music taste of the partner because....

I. No arguments! 

That's right! No need to get into a fight on who's music is going to be played, or how long it should be on. Every couple will disagree on at least two things or more, but at least no matter what happens, music will stay the same. It could be a way to get both of you back in a calmer zone. No needs for talks, songs are going to be there for you! 

II. Concerts/ Festivals

You will always have someone to go with you. The fun part of it all is that they will always find a way to tag along because you both have the same taste in music.

III. No complaining when money is spent!

When you talk about concerts and festivals, money comes in, expensive tickets, but let's be honest, when the both of you are on the same page... Money spent on tickets don't matter as much anymore. Remember that time when your girlfriend started complaining about your football tickets? Well, this time it will be different because music makes it different! Half of the time you'll be more interested in taking your other half with you to the festival or concert! 

IV. Car trips

Long road trips are beyond boring when both of you are fighting one another. Not only they could get heated and annoying, but it could be dangerous especially when you are driving. So why fighting for hours on who will be able to get that music on. No more stressful situation, kick back and take the whole trip in. 

V. Memory sharing!

It's like the first song you danced to or the song that made you cry on your engagement day. Songs hold memories, important ones, sad and happy ones. Memories will stay with you forever!

VI. Mixtapes/ Playlists... Easy!

Do you go on your iTunes and make some playlists for bath times, reading times, homework, cooking... I know I do. When your partner has the same taste in music, making playlists will be easy as pie. It will become a hobby, and mixtapes will be just as easy as these playlists. 

VII. Present/ Gifts

No more headaches, no more stress, only too many ideas! When you need to buy a present for someone, the ideas don't show up easily, it will be a headache that doesn't go away easily. I know I've always had some issues concerning gifts, could be hard to buy for someone... It's over! Now, since he/she likes the same music as you, t-shirts, tickets, albums, or posters are there. 

VIII. Fashion style!
You both won't have to worry about how your partner looks like because it's about their music style. Band shirts will be completely alright because it is a band that you also love to listen to.

Music may seem unimportant, but if you look at all the people that listen to their music, it turns out to be much more important... So when you have a relationship with someone who ends up having the same music taste, life gets better. 

"Music is essentially an emotional language, so you want to feel something from the relationships and build music based on those feelings." - Howard Shore

~Bella 

Does Size Should Matter? (1)

Last month, I talked about starting a series of " Should It Matter?", and today is the first day! 
I'm excited to actually start something big like this, well for me is! 

Size! Don't start thinking about the dirty part of the size... We all know that somewhere along the way, the size of a man's private is quite important to women; now many will refuse on telling the truth as it could be disappointing to many people, men to be exact. Sadly, it is not what I'm talking about... 

Size as in someone's height. 

Have you ever come across a couple where the woman is slightly taller than the man? I know I have, frequently, and I always wondered how and why would a man prefer a taller woman? But when it comes to having the man being taller than the woman, it seems as it is just "normal", almost commonly known to be completely "normal". Usually, we see the woman being shorter than her man, but the opposite happens!
It shouldn't annoy or bother anyone, height shouldn't determine a relationship status. Commonly known, women are trained to see that taller men are more respected, more of everything, yet it's entirely false, but that could be an "agree to disagree" type of subject! 
Short men had to deal with bullying, got insulted, and humiliated by how short they are... Come on now, should we categorize short men as just shorties who aren't protective enough. 

Everyone is entitled to their opinions and preferences, I personally prefer a taller man, not that it would be hard because I believe everyone is taller than me. Tall men usually attract me more than shorter guys because somewhere along the way, they seem more protective, and most likely to be a little more respected. It is quite wrong, but unconsciously our society subconsciously made women believe that taller men are more respected, more attractive and rewarded. Untrue, indeed, yet, women still believe it... 
Can't judge anyone for being sexually attracted to taller people and preferring a certain height. 


Women seem to be more concentrated on height while men don't care much! After all, sexually, no matter the height of someone, it works! However, size matter to some people! 
After a few studies that were made, it may seem that physical features such as height are not the dominant rule, especially with females. 
Some data suggest that the main reason females prefer a tall partner are for protection and feminity. 
It's just like I said above, protection, and when you can wear heels and still be shorter, it's quite the advantage for many women. 

Usually, people go for similar height so it would be easy to kiss, hold hand and do other activities with the partner. 

Many studies happened, yet each time, women prefer taller men and men prefer to be in a relationship with shorter women. It proves that society encourages men to be dominant and women to be submissive, having the image fo tall men hovering over short women reinforced this value. The masculine ability to offer physical protection is clearly connected to the gender stereotype. We all heard about men being the one hunting and protecting the family while the woman is here to get birth. It's a traditional societal expectation! We can't do much about it, but we can stop embarrassing shorter people especially men! 

In my opinion, height, size shouldn't matter especially when it comes to love. But it seems like I've always been drawn to taller guys, I feel more secure in their arms... Even though I could feel totally protected with a shorter man, yet, taller is more attractive to me. Again, if a woman is taller than her man, the relationship isn't worse or better, as long as if they are both happy, the height doesn't to any of them! 

Let's stop judging, and let's love continue its course! Let's everyone go with whoever they are attracted to. 

"It doesn't matter what size or shape you are. Burlesque is about feeling positive about who you are, about knowing how to shake what you have and being proud of it." -Baby Doe

~Bella

Benefits you may gain from being single...

I'm sure most of us are single and unhappy... But have you ever thought about the good that being single may procure?

From what I've seen, read, experience, I can tell you some benefits of being single are around! The idea of being "alone" might have gotten as far as boring, and pretty lonely, you might be mistaken, slightly mistaken!

It's about finding your true self, what you are all about, the good, the bad, the unexplained, the confusion that surrounds you, what are your weaknesses, strengths, insecurities. We know what our physical appearances are all about, but do we know what's hidden behind our tough shell? Being single gives you the opportunity to have some solitude, so embrace it, learn and discover who your true self is.

It's about discovering what you want in your future. Job, family, friends... Dreams exist, but how many people can say they arrived at that dream destination? When you are in a relationship you have new responsibilities, you can't just take a job opportunity all across the ocean because you know that
your other half won't be able to make it out there with you, and it's a charge. Don't get me wrong, don't assume I would prefer to be single, but sometimes it helps you build what you want around you.

It's about these little-forgotten skills that are showing up again! We all forget what we are truly capable of doing, and being single makes you look at life differently than while being in a relationship. Your confidence builds up, and your journey of self-discovery makes you gain some talents, or hidden skill appears again!

It's about loving ourselves! Being by yourself makes you see that you also deserve to be loved. There is a saying "Love yourself before you can love anyone else..." You certainly can love someone else, even if you are going through a nightmare, but you obviously won't love with a pure heart, and won't be able to love without low self-esteem getting in the way.  Loving ourselves is important! Don't forget that! 

It's about being you and flirt without fear! We all flirt, don't try and deny it, even the person who flirts the worst, still does it! Flirting is an innocent little gesture, but it can be quite dangerous, someone may end up developing feeling. If you love flirting, I suggest you get back to your single state to prevent a disaster with your partner, obviously, if you are in a relationship.

It's about saving time and money! Let's face the fact, when you are in a relationship you love to spend on your other half. You try to please the other party, spend your free time with them instead of something for yourself. Some couples need a certain amount of time on the phone, over text, and without knowing it, the hours you spend on the phone takes most of your day! 

It's about staying and growing your friend circle. When you are in a relationship, you have less time for your friends, and that happens to everyone almost. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you have to let your friends go, but we see them less. Single people focus on siblings, friends more. 

Being single as its perks, don't be ashamed, feeling lonely or act like you will die alone! It won't get you anywhere, and I promise you, being alone is refreshing, you need it sometimes. You need some alone time to resource yourself, relax and think about yourself. 

"Being single doesn't mean that you know nothing about love. Sometimes, being solo is wiser than being in a false relationship." 

~Bella