It has arrived! FINALLY!
As many of us have resolutions, goals, or already made a calendar with plenty activities on, I'm starting to get all my things back together, slowly...
No, I won't be going back to school, yet, and no, I'm positive on the driving, my phobia is staying a little longer... Till I finally accept the fact that Californians can't drive and that won't be a piece of cake, sorry!
At least, I'm trying to make an effort with the resolutions, and a few more goals that I've been trying to accomplish throughout the years, but never got my head around it all. For example, each year, I let my hopeless romantic self -come up and bring me to the conclusion that it will be the year I meet the guy, the one that will be able to stay... I'm young, yet, each year I have this slight wish, goal that it will be the year. I sound extremely desperate, please don't judge, it won't do anything. Pathetic would be a great way to describe me right this moment. The other little "goal" that I've been trying to work on for quite a while now is accepting the change in my accent. As many of you know, I've got that accent. At the beginning it sounded French, I hated it, then it became less of an obvious this, but still there was that hint of European that would back it up from time to time. Now, it sounds like I'm speaking with a British/Scottish/Irish accent that to be fairly honest I appreciate more, even though no one can tell where I actually come from. Many thinks I'm part British, not going to lie, I like it... You see when you live in a different country, from an European background, listening to British or German music, watch movies in Italian, or even put on some of these British YouTubers on, talk to the owner of Pickles and Swiss (who by the way has the same problem as me with his British accent, he's British though), and speak French at home or even at work... The accent has to change, switch as the language does, and so on. After a while, you speak with a slightly odd accent that makes people wonder where you are from. It's quite fun to lie to tourist on where exactly where in the world you're from. I take pride of laughing at them afterward. But, it's difficult to accept the fact that your accent is odd, and not sexy whatsoever! I'm going to start working on that goal again this year to fully accept the change in this terrible accent of mine.
Then this year, I made a new type of goal that I only thought off a couple of hours ago!
You know those excuses you use whenever you don't want to go to a special dinner so you invent some type of excuse for not going... Stop lying to yourself, we've all done it, plenty times! Excuses are part of our life, no matter what, even if you try, we make excuses for about EVERYTHING, from not going to dinners to why you were late to work. We are humans, no shame for it, don't blame yourself for any excuses, after all, they will stay!To me, excuses are part of each human being, but I would like to try on working on the making excuses for everyone else's behaviors, saying, or even actions, thoughts, or beliefs, emotions, and feelings. I want to slow down on making excuses for everyone. Sounds simple, right? Well, it's not!
I've always tried to make sense of everything, of everyone's behaviors or emotions. It's insane how much I want to blame the reality on some fake, lame excuses. If someone doesn't respond, I'll just be like, "Oh, something came up and they had to go" or "They never received my texts". When in reality, they don't like me and won't talk, end of story. Instead of seeing the truth and getting hurt, I blame things around the situation. I may be right at times, though, sometimes people happen to be busy or they saw your text and started writing back but forgot to send. Stupid, but it does happen. Don't lose hope, not every excuse you make will be thrown out, some are real!
Everyone deserves a second chance, the benefit of the doubt, once or twice to say the least. But there comes a time when you cannot keep making excuses for people, over and over again. Some people don't deserve your excuses, your time, your emotions! There are times when people need to grow up and take chances, stop ignoring and start speaking up. Stop using the "What if" so much because it doesn't help anyone, doesn't chance the course of life!
Making excuses for your family member who always finds a way to skip Christmas dinner with the rest of the family, or the guy that you meet a couple weeks ago hasn't called yet... It doesn't help you, it hurts you, and instead of moving on with your life, you're stuck with the unbearable fact that you are trying to make something happy when it's the complete opposite! To summarize this whole post, the new year has arrived, and somehow this means new goals, or in my case, old goals back again!
"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." - Chinese Proverb
~Bella
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