How can you write for so long?

When someone asks me about my writing, my heart skips a beat, I become vulnerable enough to lose my words. Giving me the opportunity to talk about my passion is a gift, an occasion to develop my love for writing to people, make them understand where I'm coming from.
I can write for a long time and people have been asking for an explanation... So hopefully this will help you understand me a little more, don't get your hopes up, I ain't easy to comprehend, I ain't the easiest person out there.
Let's start with the obvious...

"I don't have time to write."

"My writing is awful so why start?"

"Being a writer means being published."

We always have time to write, there is no such thing as bad writing, and everyone is a writer.
All these phrases people have to express are wrong, myths of a sort and people believe these sayings.
Before being a good writer, we are"bad writers" who jots down ideas to make it a whole new story later on.

So let's back up a little to you imagining a pizza, one you bought on the corner of the street. Too crusty in your opinion, but flavour is still here as well as the little Italian taste. The pizza may have some defaults such as too crusty in your taste, the amount of tomato sauce, cheese makes it delicious enough to make you forget about the crust.

Now think about yourself facing a blank page; you are starting to write ideas, but you think it's bad... Remember the pizza! Defaults, sure, there's always going to be them, but there's always something underneath, looking to come out. Your piece of writing needs work, and you can delete to rewrite it all, all over again. Chasing perfection will get you nowhere, so why chase something nearly impossible, something without depth?
So when someone asks me about my writing, my thoughts go straight to different places! There's so much to talk about.

Like I can write for hours. Yes, everyone is capable of writing, if I can, anyone can! I have two jobs, family issues to attend to, editing a novel, a blog to keep track of, housemates who aren't capable of paying rent on time or doing their dishes. I sound like a whiny child, I apologize for it, sadly, it's all true. Even with a busy life, I manage to get some time to write. After all, I shouldn't complain, people have it worse than me, some go to school even with two jobs, if you are one of these people, you should be proud of yourself.

Having two jobs is tough, and if you are in this situation you will know what I'm talking about, goodbye long nights out, and parties, welcome showers, bedtime, unsocial life. Yet, I manage to write, still. I don't wait around for time to show up at my door, knock, "Hey are you ready to hang out?"

Instead, I steal away some time.

Have you ever heard, " If they are in love with you, they will find time for you. If they don't then their love may not be that existent." Well, surprise, it's the same for writing. If you adore writing as much as you claim, you find time for it just like you find time for someone. You always see me with a pen in my hand, in my hair, a notebook in my purse, at one of my job, receipts with notes on, napkins full of writing on... Because no matter where I am if I've got some idea, I have to write it down. 
I live through my writing, and despite the fact that it is a passion, it's starting to feel more like a way of living. For instance, right now, I'm sitting down at my favourite coffee shop, having a warm cappuccino, a chocolate twist, and a notebook, pen, and a book. 
A man sitting across from me, a couple of tables away, have been writing as well. Looking out the window at times, drinking his coffee at others. Two empty cups next to him already, and a ring around his finger which can only mean, married. He is grabbing my intention not because of how good looking he is but because he is writing down on a notebook with a pen. As far as I see it, it's rare, usually, people are typing away on their laptops not writing with a pen on a notebook, welcome sore wrist. 
He hasn't stopped writing except to look out the window on his right, probably daydreaming like most of us in the coffee shop. Re reading past pages. He does interest me, surprise me. I don't see many men writing away in a notebook, drinking coffee after coffee, at least not in my favourite coffee shop. Or they are around when I'm not around. That's also a possibility. 
I could watch this stranger for hours without getting bored. Between his facial expressions, his hand on his notebook, and his concentration... He's the perfect person to draw some character ideas from. 

See... I'm writing about my private moment with my thoughts, proves that it's not that complex to write. After this, anyone can write if you stop trying to chase perfection. Writing a draft, something "bad", something you came up with is a start, a draft to a better art piece. Anyone can find the time if one give themselves a chance. 
What I find funny in this situation is the fact that I didn't feel like writing today! I forced myself to do so and that's the magic with writers. You give them a notebook or piece of paper, a pen and some tea or coffee next to them... SURPRISE! A couple of minutes later, they are writing away from a piece of art. No need for a certain mood to come and sweep you off the floor to write away what comes to mind. Magic no? 
It's a luxury to want to write, and yet, you don't need to have this specific mood. A simple sentence may throw you right back into something much more deeper, developed than just an idea in the back of your head. In certain cases, it won't work, but the bribe is on. Yes, like you do with children, I do it to myself. " If you write for at least 30 minutes or write a least one article, you will be able to go eat dinner!" 
Sounds stupid right? Guess what though... It works! Cause, believe me, or not when I miss a day of writing my mood switch off to kind of good to run away far from me. I'll be irritable, almost annoying ( I'm already am but double it up). 
Being able to sit down at your favourite spot, enjoying a cup of cappuccino or tea, writing down whatever comes to mind is a satisfying feeling. Like many writers say, you need a room, your space to write. For me, it's my favourite coffee shop or train station despite the fact that I mostly work at one of y job between customers. They are sort of a creative poison, feeding me drama to write about. Mix my own vivid imagination and facts of the day, the idiotic comments of customers. After all, writers need some source of inspiration no matter what or who it is. 

The 'why' I write for so long is only because it keeps me sane, keeps me from doing something wrong. It keeps me on track, daily. Writing gives me a sense of becoming who I truly am. Sounds completely lunatic and yet... 
The more I write, the easier it gets, and I finally know what I'm doing. It's becoming obvious, simple to approach. But 'how' can I write for so long, constantly writing? Let me be straightforward with you... I don't constantly write or else you wouldn't see me doing much. I would constantly have my nose stuck to my laptop, phone or notebook. I write when I can find the time and I force myself to do so. What keeps me going is walking. You might be confused by my answer and I apologize. I walk pretty much EVERYWHERE. From home to work to bars to friends' place to grocery shopping. When I walk, my earphones are in and songs are playing. If I lived in a bigger city, I would continue walking because it makes me think about everything, makes me analyze situations. And by letting me breathe some "fresh" air, it keeps my thoughts, ideas flowing. 
So yes, instead of parties or doing whatever kids my age would be doing, I read, watch football (soccer) games, help my friends in need, and write. Go figure, I'm an odd individual. 

When you don't make writing a big idea, it becomes a way of living and not some task that you are forced to do. It becomes your long lost love, one who will never cheat on you, one you will always count on to make your crappy day a delightful one. 
Thinking of it, my own writing is pretty much my boyfriend. An Italian flirty, lovable one who's also part Irish making him the most loyal and protective one out there. 
That also helps me recognize the fact that writing is just like a relationship! You have to make time, steal away some time to make memories, to make the relationship flourish. You have to work for it, with it. 

"A writer is simply a photographer of thoughts." 
~ Bella

That one question that pops up every time...

So far everyone asked me if I miss my home country, Europe... All I could respond was " Sure, sometimes I do miss it."
Despite family issues, terrorist attacks, and maybe the weather that may be terrible at times, I miss a lot of things. 

Being away from what you are used to can be challenging. The funny thing is that whenever I used to go back, I didn't feel home, just like I don't feel at home in California. Almost everything is different, and it took a while to get used to everything. I don't think I'm entirely acclimated to every single difference. 
Back home, kids are allowed in bars, can't drink until the appropriate age, but they are allowed in the bar. Orange juice or hot cocoa doesn't break any rules. While here you have to wait until you are 21 years of age to enter a bar, I understand that it's the drinking age but it's exaggerating! Since I have to wait another year to go drink in a bar, I can only drink at home or with people that don't care about me drinking. That my friend is very irritating! 
The portions, food wise and the large cups? In America, the large cups are large, while back in Europe the large cup would be called a small or medium for Americans... And food portions, back home, we have smaller portions, here, the plate could be for two or three people. I'm still aren't used to it yet, maybe one day...
The humor, Santa Cleopatra, this one gets on my nerves! See I can understand and laugh at the British humor all right, but the American one, still don't quite get it. For example, I went to the movies with a friend to watch Spy with Melissa McCarthy. It was funny, no doubt about that, but while the parts that everyone laughed at, I didn't, and I laughed when no one was laughing. Pretty embarrassing if I say the least. If I drink there'll be no problem laughing at your jokes, but other than that, I either don't get them or don't find them funny. Then people think I'm weird and have no sense of humor, b****, please. 
I like eating burgers, good ones, I don't mind them at all, but I can't eat multiple ones in a month. I'm more the European type of food, you know the ones that don't really get you fat much. I prefer cooking at home anyways, but the food is rather different. Like here, I can't eat red meat, or too much of it or else I have lower back pain. The first time that happened, I didn't think of the meat, and then I saw a pattern later on, plus my dear mother has the same issue so, not fun. 
Sports as you can already tell with my past posts, FOOTBALL is soccer, but we don't call it soccer, that's weird for us! Plus we have rugby to replace American football... Which in my opinion is probably worse cause there is no helmets or real protection so you see more blood, broken nose and pass on the rest. On the positive side, while Americans love your football, we love ours. I still need a partner that knows about football or at least played or something related because, to be honest, I can't stand watching baseball, American football or even basketball. I do ice hockey pretty well, but then again the best teams are Canadian teams hahaha. 
You know the sweet that you chew on for hours, the one you call "GUM", well Europeans even BRITISH people call it "chewing gum". No, you guys had to cut the word in half to be different! I was born in a country where chewing gum would be used, so I have a hard time just not say chewing gum. 
My point of view when it comes to love and life can be quite different, and misunderstood by many people. If I want to be friends or being in a relationship with someone, I need to either find someone open minded who traveled around, or a European so I can talk about everything without fighting or being judged. This one has some exceptions! I've got out with Americans before and it usually goes fine, but it's true, I have a harder time with them. Don't ask why, it's just a different culture, values, and point of views. 
Since I was on the topic of friends, let's talk about that for a little... I can count the real ones on my hand. Very few will be Americans... :( When you first come into a foreign country, you tend to shy away from everyone since you don't know how to act around them. That's what happened to me the first two years, first the language barrier, then I was "different". I would hang out with guys without any problems, then would come back to the girls, but it wasn't liked. They disagree on the fact that I could be friend with everyone and made me choose... That is not cool! Then you meet new people, nice and warm is the first impression you get. Most the time! Americans are quite warm people at the beginning, it's rather welcoming, I love it, it was the opposite back in my home country. In Europe, some countries, people are more on their guard, less warm or welcoming, they don't trust easily. Could be seen rude, I think French people hold that title... Anyways, Europeans tend to take their time in making friends because they want real friendships, the one that you can count on in any situation, while here, from what I've seen... They want friends, tons of them, they want to be acknowledged, will say 'Let's go out again soon' but then nothing, they disappear on you. That's just very odd for me, and that I ain't used to. Don't think I'm against Americans, far from it! My best friend is an American and I have an amazing friend who is also American!

The others are either European or have some European origins. 
The last point I want to make is me being brutally honest. I keep a lot to myself nowadays, though, it is sometimes hard to keep it in! I've always been honest, it started back when I was 3 or so years old. I had a grand-grandfather who smoked a lot and had tubes in his throat, he couldn't talk much, and for me, it was just disturbing. Whenever I would see someone with a cigarette in their hand or be smoking it, I would come up to them, stand tall (ok laugh, I wasn't tall, but I felt tall), and would finally tell them, "You are going to have a hole in your throat like my grand-grandfather." Imagine a little 3 years old going up to you, telling you that you will end up with a hole in your throat? Sounds funny, but people would look at me like  "What the ..." Pretty embarrassing time for my mother. I'm sorry she had to deal with me and still dealing with me. I feel bad for them, but hey, I was young and told the truth! When I came here, I realized that people would prefer to keep their mouth shut instead of saying what they have in their mind, they prefer to be hypocrites. They don't like to hear the truth! For some odd reason, I find it easier, to be honest in front of someone European. I ain't complaining and I comprehend why Americans are like that, but I wasn't raised around that. I'm getting used to it, though, keep things to myself, but if I don't like, you will either see it on my face or I'll just tell you directly... And I still don't care if you like it or not! Seems easier to make enemies here. It's like when we talk about politics, they want to hear my point of view, but they won't like it and tell me I'm wrong and that I shouldn't answer. First of all, I hate politics, the government sucks almost everywhere, it's corrupted. A bunch of lies is made up to make the citizens go vote for you, and I prefer to not even talk or mention it. Sometimes, people are curious, so I tag along, but I fail each time, being honest isn't appreciated, especially in politics. Well, at least I know I'll never make it as a president or senator hahaha... 

To conclude this answer, I do miss Europe in certain cases, but sometimes I don't. It's a love/hate relationship. In the future, if Europe is still standing, I'm planning on going back, but for now, I'm good where I am, unless something like Trump comes along and destroy my "ok second home", then I'm screwed! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, I'll be happy to answer, but don't expect my answers to be exactly what you are hoping for. 
On the bright side, America has lots to give, it's a pretty generous country that is open minded and "new" compare to Europe. Now I won't talk about that yet since it wasn't the question of the day, but I wanted to clear things up before I pack this post! America is great, no doubts, it's welcoming and amazingly nice. There will always be some pros and cons in each country so ... 

"Being a foreigner is not a disease." -Alden Nowlan
~Bella