The Book of Symbols 4...

Shell

From time immemorial, we have held conch shells to our ears to hear the surflike sound - the eternal tides of life that engrave their markings upon us. The human ear resembles a shell, gathering vibrations of air in its outer cavity called the "conch," and directing them through the winding passages of its shell-like inner ear as sound, symbolically evoking an interior listening. "He who has ears to hear let him hear," said Jesus of the hidden meaning of his parables. Images of the Buddha with elongated ears suggest that listening with the inner ear includes keeping silent, meditating on what has been said and opening ourselves to the resonance of the source. 

Shell-shaped and oversized, the ear of the Grand

Buddha suggests wise listening. Detail from a carved

cliff face, 713 C.E., Leshan, China

We have also raised the conch shell to our lips, trumpeting as gods of the sea might have, for the sound of the conch was said to lull the tumultuous waves of the sea.That the conch comes from the deep associates it with the underworld. The Mayan deity Quetzalcoatl mythically descends to Mictlan, the abode of the skeletons, as a dead conch that has fallen silent, so that worms may bore into him in order that he come to life again inside (Moctezuma, 138-9).

Figure, perhaps a deity, emerging from a shell,

showing whorls a growth. Effigy vase, painted

terra-cotta, Mayan, 600-800 C.E.

Shells are mysterious sea treasure, in beautiful shapes, sometimes symmetrical, often ridged and whorled, reflecting stages of growth. The recesses of a shell are reminiscent of the sacred spiral, labyrinth, and center. The intimation of marine life is also an allusion to the hidden life of our interior world, sometimes surfacing, leaving its evidence in consciousness, sometimes not. A shell is an exoskeleton serving to protect the vulnerable creature that dwells within. But shells are also delicate, easily broken, not the tough carapace of defensiveness. We speak of coming out of, or going into, one's "shell," suggesting a gradual, tenuous exposure to the world, or of retreat from it, in privacy, refuge or withdrawal.

As if incised by the waters of eternity- a stone conch 

shell. Aztec, ca. 1486-1502, Temple Mayor, Mexico.

The shape and depth of some shells, the lush pink of their coloring, brings to mind the female vulva, associating the shell with the allure and mystery of the feminine, and with incarnation and fertility. Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love (to the Roman Venus), materializing out of the ocean's foam, is borne ashore on a seashell. In his celebrated painting, Odilon Redon depicts the open, vulva-shaped shell, its soft opalescence infusing the sky and the goddess lying, yet standing, asleep and yet waking, as in a vision. We adorn ourselves with shells, remembering the goddess and her beauty, her seductions. The shell and its evocation of the uterine salt-sea, the moon, tidal ebb, and flow imparts a sense of birth and rebirth; early Christian art made the empty shell an image of the soul's departure to immortality. 

The Birth of Venus, by Odilon Redon, oil on canvas,

ca. 1912, France. 

~Bella

Little note: I won't be able to post on Friday so I'm going to post tomorrow instead. Sorry about that, but you'll still get a post :) 

Watch out for the wall...

As you already know if you read my very early on posts, I'm a hopeless romantic...
http://onemorecupidtothelist.blogspot.com/2016/05/do-you-have-twin-because-i-technically.html

Sadly, I've been keeping all my feelings away, locked behind walls to protect myself from outside pain, love. The internal pain has been eating me alive, but I'm dealing with it... Hopefully.

That protection wall you build after many heartaches or just a single one... The one that keeps you from getting attached too quickly, feeling all these emotions too easily, deeply falling in love with someone before knowing them a bit more than after just a few questions. I've learned to keep a lot to myself instead of letting myself go completely!
You would think it's smart, and it is, indeed. Instead of getting attached to someone who is here to play around, you move on quickly! It's just slightly annoying and frustrating, especially when you have an extraordinary person in front of you, proving you every day that he didn't come into your life to hurt you, but to make you happy!

We often mistake the wall around us, thinking it's there to guard us, to keep the pain away, but all it does it keep love away! You don't want to let your true self out, the wall keeps who you are away from others, it has nothing to do with your heart! Sadly, keeping up a wall doesn't do much good, in order to start liking, loving someone, you need to take down some bricks. 

In order to take this wall, brick by brick, you have to know what YOU want! You can be shy, guarded, have low self-esteem, but you have desires. Don't be scared of asking for what you truly want! Take the risk of becoming who you truly want! For instance, to make it more clear, you WANT to be courageous, you like that person, but you keep your distance away, it's understandable, you're shy and you probably already have that rejection scenario in your head, but what you want is to get courageous enough to go out there and tell the girl you like her! Take that risk, if you don't go out there, you will never know if it could work! 
Look at me, I want a relationship, but I don't let go and tell them, I back away, afraid... I don't let my desires come up to the surface, and I'm missing out on the opportunity of something beyond amazing! 

We believe that things will never change and that our past predicts our future. We think we will be rejected because it happened once or twice before. We are wrong! Sorry, but we are, people change, people grow up, each person is different, so don't think that every situation will end the same way! 
I have the same issue! I've been so afraid of guys becoming my father's image, that each time I see something they do or say that my father has said or did in the past, I back away and think they will be just like him. I don't want to compare anyone to him, but I do it unconsciously. Indeed, we have similarities, but each human being is different, act, think, say things differently. One similarity doesn't make everyone the same! I understand how each one of us is unique, but somehow I manage to overlook this important fact and let my past control my present and future at the same time. Don't make the same mistake as I am doing right now. 

In order to let go of that wall, start saying NO! 
In relationships, I used to give details to each of my answers, I would talk in circles, but ended up losing my partner in the middle of the conversation. The NO and YES answers are easier to answer, and it gets your point across a lot quicker! Walls protects us from sharing back stories. You don't want to share just say, "No" or "Yes". You never have to explain something to someone if you don't feel like it! Walls are here to hide who we are away from other people. We are afraid to answer straightforward questions so we push or avoid getting too close to anyone who might ask questions like these...
"Do you like me?"
"Do you want a relationship?"
"Why are you still single?"
Start saying these simple two words instead of sharing things you don't want to share at the moment, it's destroying you slowly, hurting you. Not healthy if you ask me! You may have had a traumatic experience in the past and you don't want to share, it's understandable, so say," No, I don't want to answer at the moment." Less painful, trust me! And if you are the person who asks these questions, don't try and force someone to answer in more details, you will end up making them run away!

Start choosing love over fear! 
Seeing someone as dating can be scary, and love... Terrifying! 
After my breakup, I was shattered, completely numb, empty from feelings. I did put all my walls back up because I gave all of myself to my ex, and he did hurt me. In my head, I was like, "I gave every bit of me to a person who destroyed me in a matter of a second, why should I take the risk of getting hurt again?"
A lot has come my way since then! Now, I have an amazing, wonderful, understanding, patient, loving person in front of me, trying to tell me he wants to take the risk of loving me, and I'm backing away, choosing fear over love! I became creative in order to keep that person away, I was brutally honest, spoke my mind freely instead of watching out for what I

was saying, I even became mean (when I'm the opposite)! He stuck around, though... Surprisingly! I did everything I could think of to get this guy to run away... And he was managing on staying! I don't know how he stayed, honestly, I wouldn't have! Funny thing is... I had two sides in my head, one saying he needs to back off, run away, and the other was saying, please let this guy in, let him love you like you want to love him... I'm difficult! 
In order to feel love, and be in love, you need to stop running away from pain, you need to let people in. Just because someone did hurt you before doesn't mean this one will hurt you the same way or even hurt you at all. Pursue pleasure, pure pleasure and only give yourself completely to the people that you think can give that pleasure to you. And anyone who can give that pleasure should be welcomed! 

To conclude, putting walls is smart, but if you have that one little voice in your head telling you, "Let him [her] in", open up, and let yourself go bit by bit! If you don't, you might regret it later on. Passing by a great love story and have that happy ending is a choice, you have to choose love over fear! 

Don't be like me! I think I don't deserve to be happy, to have a love story because I didn't do anything to get that! So I'm passing by opportunities, one by one, choosing to keep these walls around, not letting all my feelings out... And instead of being happy, I'm destroying myself. I keep telling myself how stupid I am for believing an amazing guy, like the one in front of me, will ever be interested in someone as idiotic, destructive as me. The painful part of it all is the fact that all the feelings that I have for the guy is beyond anything I experienced before. I always thought I did love the other people, but I never truly did, and I feel it now... It's scary, indeed, but I shouldn't let that fear rule me. I should start loving and be completely myself because what I'm feeling is actual love. 

"Sometimes all you need is one person that shows you that it's okay to let your guard down, be yourself, and love with no regrets."

~Bella

What Would Jane Do? (3)

Welcome back for more wisdom from Jane Austen! 

It's rather amazing how we can learn so much from a British author! I'm amazed! 
At her time a female writer wouldn't be consider writing at all, but her father helped the best he could for his bright daughter's success. Without him we wouldn't be here, today, reading her wonderful work! 

III. Mistress of myself
No one can think more highly of the understanding of women than I do... Nature has given them so much that they never find it necessary to use more than half. - Northanger Abbey (1817)
You were disgusted with the women who were always speaking and looking, and thinking for your approbation alone. I roused and interested you because I was so unlike them. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain for the first fifteen years of her life than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive. - Northanger Abbey (1817)
You must try not to mind growing up into a pretty woman. - Mansfield Park (1814)
As for admiration, it was always very welcome when it came, but she did not depend on it. - Northanger Abbey (1817)
Her own thoughts and reflections were habitually her best companions. - Mansfield Park (1814)
I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. - Emma (1815)
Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
There are people who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. - Emma (1815)
It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do. - Sense and Sensibility (1811)
If I could not be persuaded into doing what I thought wrong, I will never be tricked into it. - Northanger Abbey (1817)
I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
We all have our best guides within us, if only we would listen. - Mansfield Park (1814)
I speak what appears to me the general opinion; and where an opinion is general, it is usually correct. - Mansfield Park (1814)
There is hardly any personal defect which an agreeable manner might not gradually reconcile one to. - Northanger Abbey (1817)
If I could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful,  I should not be shy. - Sense and Sensibility (1811)
Those who have not more must be satisfied with what they have. - Mansfield Park (1814)
I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
Let your conduct be the only harangue. - Mansfield Park (1814)
My being charming... Is not quite enough to induce me to marry; I must find other people charming- one other person at least. - Emma (1815)
Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away... Till this moment I never knew myself. - Pride and Prejudice (1813)
I will be calm. I will be mistress of myself. -Sense and Sensibility (1811)
Run mad as often as you choose, but do not faint. - Mansfield Park (1814)

Chapter IV will be for everybody, so keep up with me as I read along the little book given to me by my mum. 
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to love one of my favorite authors much more everytime I read her piece of work. 


" There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. " 

~Bella

Benefits you may gain from being single...

I'm sure most of us are single and unhappy... But have you ever thought about the good that being single may procure?

From what I've seen, read, experience, I can tell you some benefits of being single are around! The idea of being "alone" might have gotten as far as boring, and pretty lonely, you might be mistaken, slightly mistaken!

It's about finding your true self, what you are all about, the good, the bad, the unexplained, the confusion that surrounds you, what are your weaknesses, strengths, insecurities. We know what our physical appearances are all about, but do we know what's hidden behind our tough shell? Being single gives you the opportunity to have some solitude, so embrace it, learn and discover who your true self is.

It's about discovering what you want in your future. Job, family, friends... Dreams exist, but how many people can say they arrived at that dream destination? When you are in a relationship you have new responsibilities, you can't just take a job opportunity all across the ocean because you know that
your other half won't be able to make it out there with you, and it's a charge. Don't get me wrong, don't assume I would prefer to be single, but sometimes it helps you build what you want around you.

It's about these little-forgotten skills that are showing up again! We all forget what we are truly capable of doing, and being single makes you look at life differently than while being in a relationship. Your confidence builds up, and your journey of self-discovery makes you gain some talents, or hidden skill appears again!

It's about loving ourselves! Being by yourself makes you see that you also deserve to be loved. There is a saying "Love yourself before you can love anyone else..." You certainly can love someone else, even if you are going through a nightmare, but you obviously won't love with a pure heart, and won't be able to love without low self-esteem getting in the way.  Loving ourselves is important! Don't forget that! 

It's about being you and flirt without fear! We all flirt, don't try and deny it, even the person who flirts the worst, still does it! Flirting is an innocent little gesture, but it can be quite dangerous, someone may end up developing feeling. If you love flirting, I suggest you get back to your single state to prevent a disaster with your partner, obviously, if you are in a relationship.

It's about saving time and money! Let's face the fact, when you are in a relationship you love to spend on your other half. You try to please the other party, spend your free time with them instead of something for yourself. Some couples need a certain amount of time on the phone, over text, and without knowing it, the hours you spend on the phone takes most of your day! 

It's about staying and growing your friend circle. When you are in a relationship, you have less time for your friends, and that happens to everyone almost. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you have to let your friends go, but we see them less. Single people focus on siblings, friends more. 

Being single as its perks, don't be ashamed, feeling lonely or act like you will die alone! It won't get you anywhere, and I promise you, being alone is refreshing, you need it sometimes. You need some alone time to resource yourself, relax and think about yourself. 

"Being single doesn't mean that you know nothing about love. Sometimes, being solo is wiser than being in a false relationship." 

~Bella

Short indeed...

Last time I had long hair, a couple of weeks ago. My dear mum decided to play around with my hair, trying to do something different, she succeeded, but sadly, it failed on letting my long hair be. I wanted to keep my beautiful, wavy hair at the same length. It's all short NOW!

I don't remember the time when my hair was that short, I must have been in my toddler years. 

Come on now, long hair has been my little thing, not short hair! Never have been and never will! 

Long, wavy hair has been a part of me since I could remember. 

So let's get into the juicy details. After feeling like I should cut my hair, I asked my mum like always, and let her cut them. I could feel something different, I could feel the air on my back, that wasn't normal! Not at all! I began to tear up, to the point where I was feeling guilty for asking a haircut. Breaking down completely, thinking of the worse possible outcome. In other words, I was in shock. You have to know what it feels to understand how difficult and shocking it was for me. A disaster, the world ending... To make it quicker I broke down crying, making my mum feel bad, guilty for playing around and make it short. She was feeling so horribly for it, I couldn't keep on being mad, but I was frustrated to the point of not talking to her or even let her kiss my head. I wanted her to feel terrible, but she is still my mum and I can't stay mad at her forever. 

I've been living with the short hair for a while now, and to be fair I'm getting used to it, slowly but surely! Baby steps into the short hair world! I do miss my braid, long ponytail, or even messy bump I would have on most the time, I can't lie about that! Although, I miss all these little things, having short hair is amazingly nice! Less time on washing it, dry fast, easy to brush (I don't bother brushing it), and no need of a ponytail just have clips and you are good to go! 

They needed to be cut to grow faster, stronger, healthier! It's always good to cut them short once in a while. So I've heard! Now it's your choice if you want to believe it or not, suit yourself to your own opinion! It's my first time, but I'll make sure to keep you posted about my terrible short hair experience. I'm exaggerating! It's not that terrible. Many people have liked it, and complimented me on it. Compliments are appreciated and build me some confidence about the hair style. Then I think about how Rapunzel had the longest hair, difficult to keep it healthy, and when she cut them, she looked cute! No need to worry after all!


It's a "new me", a new beginning, a new chapter of my life. I actually feel a little more mature with shorter hair making my face look normal size as I do have a small face. Can't hide it much anymore! 
I feel like you can see my back shoulder tattoo a bit more, and I'm proud of it! 
The only little issue is the bed hair in the morning. It exists, and it's the first time I'm experiencing it! Not a joy! Simple to fix, though, throw a bit of water and pat.




"When you have short hair, there's just a feeling of here I am. What you see what you get. And there's a confidence that comes with wearing short hair and I like the way that makes me feel." -Halle Berry


~Bella

PS: I will post something tomorrow so don't forget to come read! 

Will I defeat you?

After watching a few YouTubers play this Akinator game online...
http://en.akinator.com/

I decided to mind control the little genie!

First I thought of Claudio Marchisio, my favorite football player who plays for my favorite football team, Juventus. Now, he plays at a midfielder, and he isn't THAT famous compare to Messi or Ronaldo or even Buffon (goalkeeper). I thought I was going to get him lost, and I did, he missed up! He guessed a random Spanish football player, and no he was wrong, so I decided to keep him playing and guessing, after another series of questions, 46 questions later, he guessed Claudio Marchisio... After 46 questions! I felt proud, he usually guesses rather quickly, this time... It was AMAZING!

Second guess... I'm thinking of Miniminter, my favorite YouTuber...
The little genie was on the right track until he guessed Comedyshortsgamer which is the brother of KSI, not at all Simon Minter! Guess what? I kept him going... After 50 questions he guesses, once more, and got it wrong AGAIN! Haha, this time, he came up with Icrazy Teddy / Icrazyteddy. I've never even heard of him. Who is that kid? Honestly? Really? So I went again, continued making him feel bad... and his face was just RED!

Alright, after 78 questions, he comes back with a completely different guess, not even a YouTuber anymore, it's Jade Dernbach, a cricketer, I don't even watch cricket. I was laughing my bumps off! 

After all... 

Hell YES!!!! Take that in your face! 

The third attempt, just for fun and see if he was going to go faster on guessing...

I'm thinking of Benito Mussolini because he was famous for being a horrible person and a fascist.

After only 12 questions he came up with an answer and the correct one!

Honestly, the one I didn't expect to win so quickly was the dictator, how weird!

Anyways, I was proud of myself and you should try to defeat that little weirdo!

~Bella

Psych 101... Social Learning Theory...

I was reading a few pages from my Psych 101 little book and came across an interesting social learning theory. I thought I would share it with you...

" One of the most influential learning theories in psychology, Albert Bandura's social learning theory of 1977 states that instead of acquired behavior being strictly a matter of rewards or reinforcements, it can be brought about through observational learning. He states that people grasp how to behave based on the behavior of the people around them. 
People are surrounded by models that can be observed, be it a person's parents, peers, teachers, or even characters on a TV show. These models provide both masculine and feminine behaviors that can be observed or encoded, and then later imitated or copied. A person will be more likely to imitate a behavior of someone who he or she feels more similar to. Often, this means a person of the same sex. There are three main concepts to Bandura's social learning theory:

1. A person can learn behavior through observation: This can be from a live model (an actual person performing the behavior), a verbal model that provides instructions (an explanation or description of a particular behavior), or a symbolic model (behaviors portrayed in books, television, and film).

2. The mental state is an important aspect to learning: While environmental reinforcement is one aspect of learning a behavior, it is not the only one. Satisfaction, pride, and feelings of accomplishment are examples of what Bandura called intrinsic or internal reinforcement. In other words, internal thoughts can play an important role in learning a behavior. 

3. Learning does not mean that a behavior will necessarily change: Behaviorists believed that learning a behavior led to a permanent change in the individual's behavior, but Bandura shows that with observational learning, a person can learn the new information without having to demonstrate this behavior. Conversely, just because a behavior is observed does not mean it will be learned. For social learning to be a success, there are certain requirements: 

• Attention: To learn, one must pay attention, and anything that diminishes attention will negatively affect observational learning.
• Retention: One must be able to store the information, and hen at a later time be able to pull it back up and use it.
• Reproduction: After paying attention and retaining information, the observed behavior has to be performed. Practice can lead to improvement of the behavior.
• Motivation: The last part to successfully learning an observed behavior is that a person must be motivated to imitate the behavior. It is here where reinforcement and punishment come into play. If an observed behavior is reinforced, one might wish to duplicate that response; while if an observed behavior is punished, one might be motivated to not do such an action.

THE BOBO DOLL EXPERIMENT

To show that children observe and imitate behaviors around them, Bandura created the famous Bobo doll experiment. In conducting his experiment, Bandura found that children who watched the aggressive models generally imitated a good deal more of the responses toward the bobo doll that the children in the control or the children in the group who watched the nonaggressive models. He also found that girls who watched the aggressive model expressed more verbally aggressive responses when the model was the woman, and more physically aggressive responses when the model was the man. The boys imitated physically aggressive acts more than the girls did, and they imitated the same-sex model more often than the girls did. Through the Bobo doll experiment, Bandura was able to successfully show that the children learned a social behavior, in this case, aggression, by watching the behavior of someone else. With the Bobo doll experiment, Bandura was able to disprove a key notion of behaviorism that stated that all behavior is the result of rewards and reinforcement. 

EXPERIMENT                           Conducting the Bobo doll 

                                                     experiment

1.This experiment utilizes thirty-six boys and thirty-six girls ranging from three to six years old.

2.The control for the experiment is a sub-group of twelve boys and twelve girls.

3.The role models in the experiment are one adult man and one adult woman. 

4.Twenty-four boys and girls are allowed to watch as the man or woman aggressively attack a toy called the "Bobo doll." Among other things, they hit it with a hammer and throw it in the air while screaming things like, "Pow, boom," and "Sock him in the nose."

5.Another group of twenty-four boys and girls are exposed to a model who is nonaggressive toward the Bobo doll. 

6.Lastly, the control group is not exposed to any model.

"Studying psychology is fun because you're always looking for the same things I think a writer should be looking for, which is the story behind the story." - Chris Cleave

~Bella