Does your favourite food should matter? (10)

Favourite food or not, this shouldn't matter in any circumstances.

In what world would your favourite food should matter in a relationship? You aren't having a life with the food but the person. This should work for everything from a political point of view to your favourite color.
You are thinking about marriage, sure, but who are you marrying? The slice of pizza or the woman/ man? You are thinking about children, sure, but who are you going to be pregnant with? The bowl of cereal or the woman/ man?
Don't get me wrong, I wish we could marry anything we wanted like a jar of Nutella, but it wouldn't sound correct, it would sound wrong!

Favourite food is important, in my opinion, your significant other should know what type of dish you like when sad, angry, or depressed. They should know in case they need to cheer you up or apologize for the idiot thing they have said to you. Food doesn't fix everything, but at least if your partner makes the effort to cook your favourite dish, they deserve a chance to explain themselves, to forgive them for their horrible behavior. It shouldn't happen all the time, it may get old and boring after a while, but once in a while being served your type of food to cheer you up is nice, quite pleasant. Can't say no to food.

Now, remember this:  relationships aren't based on what you like and dislike! Yes, it is a plus to know what your partner eat, but it is necessary? Will you marry the person because they adore pasta or chocolate cake just like you? I don't think so! 

"Don't put a ban on your favourite foods. Enjoy the food you love in moderation, getting fit isn't a punishment." 

~Bella

Time Apart...

Little side note to my dear mother who's birthday was yesterday, Happy Birthday!

Can spending time away from your partner help your relationship, save it from destroying itself?

A question which doesn't have a concrete answer, nothing to prove it will fix a relationship, everyone deals with important situations differently. 
Throughout the little experience I had and seeing lots of relationships fail, I can consider myself lucky enough to have seen how taking time for ourselves may help fix a few issues that you may have in your relationship. 

Taking a break doesn't mean go back on a hunting ground, sleep with others. If you want to look for someone else, it will be a breakup and not a break. Wanting to sleep somewhere else, not wanting to take some time off to gather around your mind just means you want to break away from the relationship, so now it's up to you either you want to end the relationship or take some time off. 

I would personally take some time off the relationship when the apologies, sweet words, compliments don't work anymore. We all make mistakes and apologizing is a big deal, not many of us can take responsibility for their actions. If my partner wouldn't take it in consideration then, it's time for a break. 
Next, the "miss" emotion that you once had is gone. The things you used to do, cute messages before bedtime, the few moments spent together before going back home to deal with other things. When you live with your partner, the "miss" feeling fades away, and sometimes we need to miss the other person to understand how much they mean to you!
Obviously, there is that moment when arguments are louder than your apologies. Fights take over your life, and you two no longer hear each other talk. Arguments happen, we can't always be on the same page, but when the only thing you do is fight, constantly point the finger on the other, making them feel horrible, take a break. No need for a breakup, but let some time to pass by, get your calm back, focus on what really matters may help. Not hearing your partner is a sign of a bigger issue. 

Taking some time off is helpful! Having some alone time is appreciated, but we forget how much we need this special time because we have been with our partner for so long. In order to gather around our train of thoughts, our feelings back together can only be done when you are far from your relationship. Being away from your partner could end up being beneficial. I ain't telling you to move on and sleep around, party all night long! I'm telling you to go out, take some time off, be with yourself, ask yourself questions such as "Do I miss him/her?", see your flaws, your wrongs, and what you can do to make the relationship better. 
It sounds simple when I put it down on a blank page, but on the contrary. 
Taking time off from a relationship, from your loved one is harder than it seems. It takes courage to tell them that you need to gather yourself for a bit, away from the relationship. 

Have you ever looked at your partner and felt tired, bored? It does happen after a long time, especially if you let the routine run your life. It will most likely ruin the fun you once had. Boredom is a sign of getting tired of either your partner's behaviors or the situation which keeps happening. So when I think about a break, I think about the set of new fresh eyes, the new perspective to give to the relationship. 

Now, the issue about taking breaks is being on the same page, being understandable, and making sure that a break doesn't mean a breakup. Establishing some ground rules, making sure that's what you really want and not just a way to escape the reality. And you have to accept the fact that taking a break may take you a step closer to an actual breakup. It may seem like it could help bring a couple closer, but in fact, it can do the opposite especially now with our society and the temptations which keep coming at us. 
Make sure you communicate the boundaries, what the next step will be, and be determined to stay together. 

If you are both on the same page, communication happen, there is a pretty good chance that the break will do a lot more good than bad. 

"Let there be spaces in your togetherness." - Khalil Gibran

~Bella

Roommates situation!

Story short, I decided to move out from my mum's place when she moved into a new place herself!

No, I'm not trying to stay away from anyone, especially family members, but the opportunity came along, might as well catch it while it's there. 

I moved out to move in with roommates, close enough to work as well as downtown. Perfect for me as I love to walk places. 

Now, before moving in, the room search was beyond stressful, and I cannot describe it to you. If you have been in this situation, where you have to look for a place, you will understand what I mean. 

Looking for a place to move into is one of the most stressful time. I actually hated it, made me anxious half the time, frustrated all the time, and the lack of sleep became frequent! Don't get me wrong, I do worry, get anxious most of the time, but this situation was highly different, made me think about it all, about my decisions! 

The frustration part of it all is the obvious lack of response that many decided to ignore! Responding to people is a respectful, honorable act. I will have the benefit of the doubt when I know that sometimes, it happens, emails get thrown into the spam section, and we don't always look in the box, and again the internet may malfunction. 

After a month or two, I started feeling hopeless, out of energy, stressing over the little things, procrastinating on cleaning everything, making boxes, clearing my room, finding a home for my kittens... Then I receive a message from one person explaining how I could come visit! You can't imagine how happy I was until I actually saw the place, saw what it was all about. Nothing great, on the contrary, it was a catastrophe. There was no way I would have moved in with so many people in the same room (only one girl, the rest of them were guys). Depression came quickly after, making me even more anxious about the situation. I had no answers after that one except a young girl telling me about her moving out of the apartment where she was sharing it with other girls. No option, but to go, meet her and see the place.
It was cute from outside, smelled like someone was smoking inside the living room, but cute rooms, messy but cute. It had its charm so I kept in touch and got the room, but wanted to be all good with paperwork. Sadly, the office isn't the perfect place to get paperwork done. I waited for three weeks in order to move in the place, and yet, I don't have anything when it comes paperwork. How fancy, right? I still can't believe I'm off track with my file.

At the end, I live in a cute place, big enough to have lots of people live in, and not too far from my work which is perfect for me. I get along with most of the people living around, and half of the time, I'm rather too busy doing my own things to even talk to many of them, sadly. There is also a kitten which manages to come along and snuggle to wake you up or to annoy you! 

Having found a place to live, even if it's temporary, is hard, complex to say the least,  but when you arrive at the point in your life where you are with amazing roommates then everything is fine!

"What I love most about my home is who I share it with." 

~Bella

Does your family should matter? (9)

Are you in a serious relationship and your parents don't agree with the person you are dating?
Are your parents disagreeing on your love choices?

These situations do happen a lot more than what you can imagine. Parents know best, but do they try to control your love life, not letting you go live your life?
Parents do know what you may deserve but I believe we are entitled to choose our destiny, make our mistakes, learn from poor experiences.

Now, I understand you don't want to disappoint your parents, but I don't think you should just end your relationship because of their opinions on your partner.
Here are a few things that helped me get through a few awkward situations...

I. 
If you are in a serious relationship and you want your parents to meet the person, you are going to have to talk about them. Showing up to your parents with a new partner without talking about them may not be such a good idea and I suggest you stay on your guards. Do NOT complain to your parents about your partner, it will give them one more reason to dislike them. So positive details! 

II.
It's time to introduce your loved one to your dear parents. You may not feel comfortable doing so because you know exactly how your parents are, so why not staying away from certain conversations, and play board games to keep everyone occupied. 

III.
Let your parents see who your loved one is like, then listen to what they thought. Don't take anything too personal because parents always believe you will deserve much better. Listen to their advice, listen to what they have to say. Next thing you could do is agree with them as well as telling them your opinion. 

IV.
Understand your parents' role! They are here to protect you, and if they don't like your partner there must be a good reason why. Look at their point of view! 

V. 
Make sure you make compromises. If they have issues with the way they dress or speak, do a little effort making them more proper in order to make your parents appreciate the effort! 

Lastly, if your parents disagree on your relationship, your choice of partner, the only way you could change their beliefs is to talk. Communication fixes quite plenty, but you have to understand that if you wish to talk to one another, one must be ready to listen and try to comprehend what the other person says! It's not easy and arguments may end up coming your way... Remember though... You are the one in a relationship, if you make a mistake it's in your hands, not your parents, if you wishes to not listen to them, it's your responsibility!

"I want a relationship where they know of us, but nothing about us."

~Bella

Asparagi al cartoccio...

Asparagi al cartoccio

Asparagus in parchment

Ingredients:

2 1/4 pounds aparagus, trimmed

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

2 tablespoons unbleached all-purpose flour

1 1/4 cups whole milk, heated to a simmer

Pinch freshly grated nutmeg

Fine sea salt to taste

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

2 ounces Emmental cheese, thinly sliced

3 1/2 ounces thinly sliced prosciutto, cut into 1-inch pieces

1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese

Directions: 

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F with racks positioned in the upper and lower thirds. Cut 8 pieces of parchment paper into rectangles measuring 12 by 14 inches.

2. Steam the asparagus, covered, in a steamer set over boiling water or using an asparagus pot until crisp-tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Transfer the stalks with a slotted spoon to a bowl of ice and cold water to stop cooking, then drain and pat them dry. 

3. Put one-quarter of the asparagus in the center of piece of parchment paper. Repeat with the remaining asparagus, using 4 of the 8 pieces of parchment all together. Reserve the remaining paper.

4. To make a béchamel, heat 2 tablespoons of the butter in a 2-quart heavy saucepan over medium-low heat until melted, then add the flour and cook over low heat, whisking, for 3 minutes. Add the hot milk little by little, whisking to incorporate between additions, then bring the mixture to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer, whisking, until the béchamel is thickened, 3 to 4 minutes more. Add the nutmeg and season with salt and pepper.

5. Spoon the béchamel over the asparagus, then top with the Emmental and prosciutto; cut the remaining 1 tablespoon butter into small pieces and scatter them over the asparagus; sprinkle Parmigiano Reggiano over all. Top each portion with one of the reserved parchment pieces, then crimp the edges to form sealed packets. Put the packets on baking sheets and bake until heated through, 12 to 15 minutes. Transfer the packets to plates, cut them open, and serve immediately. 

Serve 4   Cooking Time: 20 minutes

~Bella

Oh, what are those? ..... JOKES!

Jokes! Stand-up comedies.... 

I can't explain the joy I have when I watch a stand-up comedy. It makes your day a lot better, you smile, you laugh, cry of laughter, and at the end, all you can think about are the jokes or stories the comedian has said throughout the show. 

Each one of us has some type of comedy and mine happens to be slightly odd... My very first comedian, one that got me to laugh from the beginning till the end has to be Peter Kay! A British comedian who's sense of humor is beyond hilarious. He knows how to keep the audience on a high level of laughter, and the best part of his shows are the fact that he seems like he is completely serious. 

So I thought I'd share a few videos which make me laugh all the time. 

When you are having a bad day, listening to someone making fun of themselves or society itself, your day brightens up. The small things can brighten up someone's day in a flash, for example, a good cup of coffee, a warm shower after a long day at work... To me, the small things are made up of stand-up comedy, usually from this British comedian, Peter Kay.

Stand-up comedy  
When you think about stand-up comedy and the comedians on stage, you don't think about a headache they have to go through, the stress of not making anyone laugh. I mean, let's be honest, it's not just one person listening to their jokes, it's thousands. Not only they have to make sure they can remember every line, but they have to make sure the people will laugh at your jokes. Everyone will laugh at different things, different moments or not laugh at all while you will be cracking up. So when a comedian is standing on a stage, see many people, it's a stressful, difficult situation.

So when I watch a stand-up comedy, I try my best to look positively, have the respect they deserve for the work they provide. Not everyone can stand on stage, talk and keep everyone entertained.  I know I couldn't! 
Don't get me wrong, I don't laugh at every comedian. I will laugh at some jokes they will throw at us, but the comedians themselves, no. It takes a whole lot to keep me laughing from beginning to end. Can't laugh all the time, but at least if a comedian catches my eyes, I will continue laughing.  

Don't over underestimate a comedian's work, they try their best to make everyone laugh. 

"Doing stand-up comedy is in the middle of a traffic jam getting everybody moving again."- Jon Stewart

~Bella

Does your feelings should matter? (8)

"Feelings? "You ask?

Feelings are these emotional states which make you react a certain way. We all experience feelings at some point, every day we feel emotions, so why should feelings matter? Well here is my opinion on the subject! 

To me, when you are in a serious relationship, showing feelings, talking about them is as important as sex can be. Yes, many of you think that sex is the most important thing about relationships, as far as I see it, sex is just another reason to make a relationship grow. To my own belief, talking about what's going on with you is another important part which somehow falls off the grid half of the time.
When was the last time you talked to your partner about your feelings?
When was the last time you had a decent conversation about the feelings you are experiencing?

It is quite difficult to be open minded, to be comfortable enough with the other person, talk about sensitive subjects...

Talking about feelings is not a sign of weakness and it surely shouldn't give you a reason to be afraid of rejection! You are terrified of rejection, living alone, swallowing all these feelings because of phobias. Come on now, feelings aren't going to kill you, open up to the person you love and don't be afraid of talking. If they judge you, don't try to understand your feelings, they are most likely not the right person for you! Remember feelings do matter, anything could happen, but don't be fooled by your fears. 

While all relationships must be built around positivity, love, respect, and kindness, these emotions can go sideways quickly enough if both person doesn't let the other talk, listen, help. Anger, sadness, frustration and other emotions may give the chance for your partner to talk about the feelings, approach them, try to understand your concerns. It's intimacy and it's important in every relationship. If you let your fears, phobias take over, intimacy is nearly impossible and the chance of you opening up, letting your love go wild is thrown out the door. 

Holding up some feelings such as anger may result in a vicious cycle which could potentially lead to a possible breakup. 

As far as I'm concerned, you should be talking to your partner, talk about your feelings!

"I'm a simple person who hides a thousand feelings behind the happiest smile." 

~Bella