Coffee addiction...

A few months ago, I went through a couple of addictions that I described such as YouTube. The most "normal" addiction that I currently struggle with is COFFEE. Many of you suffer from the addiction.

When you hear addiction, you go straight to drugs, alcohol, but we forget the other little things which keep us from living right. Doesn't matter if they hit your health or sleep or the ability to socialize with others. Addictions are a part of every human being, it's part of society. Playing video games all day long can be an addiction, keeps you from going outside and socialize, physically socialize!

Coffe...

What a long story! It's a love/hate relationship that grew stronger throughout tough and sleepy times, but also made me more anxious, more vulnerable to the disorder. One cup of strong coffee, no sugar, no cream, just black coffee will wake me right up. Yet, even after a cup, I want another one later on... Then, the anxiety kicks in out of the blue, worse than ever, and still, I want that cup of coffee, that cappuccino, that espresso.

As it may affect my anxiety in a terrible way, drinking coffee have some benefits!

#1. Coffee can help people feel less tired and increase energy level. Caffeine is the most commonly consumed psychoactive substance in the world. Many trials in humans show that coffee improves various aspects of brain function. This includes memory, mood, vigilance, energy levels, reaction times and general cognitive function.
( I've seen that after drinking a cup of coffee, I wake up, feel energetic enough to start a day)

#2. Coffee has some essential nutrients. For example, in a single cup of coffee contains Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5), Manganese and Potassium, Magnesium and Niacin (Vitamin B3). May not seem a lot but some people drink more than one single cup, I know I can go up to three cups a day before 16:00 or 4:00 P.M.

#3. Coffee seems to want to protect the liver. We all know how important our liver is, it is an amazing organ that carries out hundreds of important functions in our bodies.  Somehow, coffee may protect against cirrhosis which is a condition that may be lead by several diseases such as hepatitis, fatty liver disease, and others. People who drink 4 or more cups per day have up to an 80% lower risk.

#4. Depressed? Drink coffee. Depression is a serious mental disorder that may cause a significantly reduced quality of life. It's becoming more common at this period of time. A Harvard study published a couple years ago, women who drank 4 or more cups per day had a 20% lower risk of becoming depressed.
(I had to go through depression, and I can tell that coffee did help me out with the happiness that wasn't around anymore)

Coffee may affect us in a negative way, but we forget the good that may also give us. It's quite an addiction, don't worry if you are one of these people who can't go a day without drinking a cup of this magical drink. I was reading an article from last year in "The Huffington Post", British, very interesting! They stated; " ...if you suspect that you're going overboard with your coffee addiction, you're certainly not alone. In fact, some of the most successful and acclaimed human beings to ever walk the planet were totally, sometimes painfully, nuts for coffee. Just ask these guys:

1. Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a short opera about coffee obsession.
2. Ludwig Van Beethoven took his coffee with exactly 60 beans per cup.
3. Benjamin Franklin hung out at coffee shops before it was cliche.
4.Voltaire is said to have drunk 40-50 cups of coffee a day.
5. Søren Kierkegaard took his coffee with approximately 30 sugar cubes, give or take a giant scoop.
6. Teddy Roosevelt drank a gallon of coffee a day. 
7. L. Frank Baum had four or five cups of coffee with cream and sugar each morning. 
8. Margaret Atwood has her own coffee line. 
9. David Lynch has anywhere from four to seven cups of coffee a day- with plenty of sugar.  "


Don't worry you aren't alone to be nuts over coffee... I know I am, even with my anxiety! 

"Coffee doesn't ask silly questions. Coffee understands." 

~Bella

That crossing line...

When people come in the store, I say "Hello" out of courtesy. Expecting a "hello" back, but most of the time I have to wait until the father, husband or another male person to come in and say "Hello" back. For some odd reason, women got a hard time being polite.
On a Saturday morning, early, a father and little girl came in the shop. Discussing the raspberry macaron, but no "Hello" back, no observation, no nothing.  What a great way to come in a shop! The mother came in five minutes after with a large smile on her face and a very sweet "Hello". I responded and followed her to what macaron she wanted. Getting 8 macarons, I was almost sure they would leave without any tip, seeing how the father was reacting.  When they left I look down at the receipt, by a miracle, a tip was on. The mother had given me her credit card and paid herself. No surprise there, but something was definitely wrong in their relationship.
It's my first time a mother actually give me a tip and says "Hello" instead of the husband. It's either both, who are very polite or just the male model.
Made me happy to see that the mother was in a happy mood and generous to top it all off. I don't know how it is for you if you work around people, do they say "Hello" out of courtesy or not?
I don't understand why so many people aren't polite, it doesn't kill anyone to say "Hello", "Please", or "Thank you". It makes our day so much better, us as employees behind the counter. Everyone has bad days, where we don't want to talk to anyone, but it's still pleasant to hear a little "Hello".
I don't always say it, but I try my best to almost always stay polite by smiling.

The funniest part of all the customers I met are the kids with their parents. Some will look over to the chocolates, ask me if they are eatable, and I'll look at them with a weird look. It happened to me, last time, a young around 15 years of age girl, came in with her father and older sister. She asked about the chocolates, and I couldn't help keep the sarcasm away.
"It's just for decoration," I replied with a stupid smile.
Her father stared her down, laughing, telling her, "Did you hear what you just asked? You couldn't ask a stupider question than this."
He looked back at me and apologized for his daughter's idiotic question that made all of us laugh.
I managed to get a tip, but bloody hell, these stupid questions will get very exhausting to hear.

The next family that came later in the week, was both parents and a daughter, around 17 years of age. I could tell she was getting everything she desired. Her mother politely asked for a box of 6, which I made after waiting 10 minutes or a bit more with the daughter's choice of macarons. Indeed, there are quite a lot of choices, but when you see that behind you there are more customers, you try to go a little faster! No smile, nothing came out of that girl's facial expressions. The plain expression she gave me like it was normal that her parents were spending money on her. I felt horrible serving the young lady that it was written all over my face. Her father felt horrible as were behavior. I thanked him, but I told myself that they would have to pay for their daughter's things until they cannot anymore. I didn't even hear any "Thank you" when I gave them the box, only from the parents who looked quite embarrassed.
I can't to this day believe parents have no respect from their children. I would understand not thanking me, but her parents paid a box of macarons to please her. The "Thank you" should be automatic, but no! So the parents apologize but don't do anything with their children. They will have it worse later on, and we can't say anything to them, just watch the situation play its course. When I have these people come in with ungrateful children, I just feel terrible for the parents.
Luckily, they are exceptions... Some kids are so polite and determined to stick with one or two macarons that I get these samples out for them to try. It's quite adorable to see a little kid come in the store, walk up to you and ask you, "Can I, please get a green cookie?" How can you not melt away?
I'm actually surprised to see and hear a little kid being polite instead of their parents. Yes, this situation, this amazing case does happen. Sometimes, the kids are more polite than the parents, sad, but true!
Then, you've got the very sweet guy that come in, alone, each time, to get one macaron,  smile big, pays and leaves, but to always come back to get another one. Honestly, that guy must be in love with macarons. Sadly, he is around just to visit his parents...Won't see this one very often.

It's just hilarious to see so many different faces come and go. You've got all types of people... The elderly who happen to always have a hard time hearing. Sorry, my voice isn't as loud as others, it's more quiet, softer to be fairly honest.
Then, I've got the impossible teenagers who think they are better than everyone else. These ones are just painful to work with! Can't get enough of their unpleasant behaviors. They come in, keep talking about their exes or gossip around. What a perk!

Now, we have amazing customers, who are always in a positive mood, great vibes, always smiling, polite and always for the most time give tips! It's pleasant to be able to communicate and rely on these valuable customers! 
I remember when a woman, one morning, came in with a little shy smile. She had lost her voice maybe after been sick, she asked in a very low voice if she could get a box of 6. A couple and their daughter came in seconds after. They heard how difficult it was for the woman to talk, so respectfully talked quietly enough so I could hear what the woman was saying. It was pleasant to see how respectful they were to the poor woman who made me sad. I ended up giving her an advice on trying to get her voice back. Usually, hot milk with honey helps! 
Not being the best social person out there, I can tell you that being communicative isn't always easy! The struggle of listening to people who come in, reply when needed, it takes a lot! But this job is helping me realize that they are amazing people out there, and sadly, some people who are less amazing! 

"Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing." - Rollo May.

~Bella

Little once, little forever...

I didn't know how to start this post, it is quite personal but people don't know half of what makes me, me... Not many will know what I had to go through at a young age and what I still have to deal with at my age. Yes, I'll be talking about ten year or more ago. Yes, it's going to be about me, but also how it may affect others as well. I know there's worse people than me who have to go through a lot more at a younger age. Everyone deals with situations differently, and this is how I've dealt with a few things. 

To make you understand a few things, I never really lived with my father as he worked the entire week, and would come back only on weekends. I never had a father at home like most of my peers from school, and I was alright with that. I still had my mother and brother with me! Second, my parents divorced when I was about ten years of age, leaving my brother being six. 
Children don't comprehend why their parents separate until the day one or both parents talk about the subject, calmly with plenty of explanation that the child will understand. It will be a stressful time for everyone, and many children react badly, abandonment, violence will be present, verbally or physically. Other kids will just be shut off, introverted, depressed, will ignore everyone and everything. And some will just live their life, leaving their parents to deal with the problem themselves. 

Now, most parents will talk in front of the children, and this will be the end of the beautiful, innocence that children have as they mature up quicker. It's a fault, but not talking, telling the truth doesn't help either. Kids need some reassurance, confidence, as well as space to process what's going on, and the parents need to be open minded to the possibility of responding to questions, without being evil about the other parent. 

My parents had violent fights as well as dishes being thrown, hits from my father to my mother, bloody hands, and yelling, lots of yelling especially from my father. Treats and revengeful words were thrown as well as death treats from my father to my mother. 
When you hear about guns and killing your mother, trust me, you will start being afraid of the consequence, the future, what your father is capable of doing. 
People don't understand why I don't trust men, why I have such a hard time being able to act "normally" around them and why I'm so distant at times. It's not a hatred against men, it's more a cautious side that shows up more often than what I anticipate. Imagine this...

You are about ten, you had your first kiss, you have a younger brother, you are finishing elementary school (In France, 6th grade is in junior high and not elementary). You play piano and teach your cat an easy song. You are a bookworm with earplugs almost all the time... Have amazing grades in literature and history, bad grades in math. You spend hours trying to fix issues with friends, listening to their problems as well as ignoring your own. Then one day, your mother decides to leave your father. That one doesn't take it slightly, making treats, being even more violent than he usually is, hits more than before, and yells all the time. You see, your mother sleep upstairs in the spare bed while your father is downstairs in the bedroom which happen to be below yours. You wake up suddenly in the middle of the night just to hear him cry or yell or making noises as he search wardrobes for whatever. 
This is just a passage as you leave a few months later to live in another city, another school, and you go see your father one or two weekends each month. You feel a little better, your mother explains why she left, but  you are living in fear that your father comes around to kill you and your mother, brother. Whenever you go back to his place, all he does is complain, breaks photo frame, shows you the blood that runs down his hand, even if he knows you can't see it because you either faint or throw up. He barely makes dinner so you are stuck doing it yourself, makes grocery shopping lists for the next day, you are stuck with telling your brother to go shower before dinner time. Putting your brother to bed and play with him. Stuck with the responsibility of dealing with a father that only cries, complains and pretends to be the good guy when it's the opposite. Stuck with the responsibility of protecting your brother by getting the hits yourself, by telling him to go back upstairs and lock the door in case something goes wrong...

How would you deal with all that? 
How would you feel about all this? 
How would you behave in this situation?
Would you still trust a man? Talk to your father? 

My mother helped me a lot, supported me, but I still felt alone, and I had to mature up quicker than everyone my age. None of my friends would understand and I barely talked because, let's be honest, it's embarrassing. It's like a woman who is dealing with domestic violence, will she speak up? Will she leave? Most the time, they are too scared to do that. So a ten years old girl isn't capable of much. 
I'm turning twenty-one in a couple months from now, and no, I've never really talked about it all to someone except a few things to some people who I thought would understand and listen. Sadly, people still manage to tell me that I have a problem, that I don't trust enough people, that I'm too honest, that I shut down quickly, I judge people too fast. After my teenage years, I had to deal with liars, manipulators, a father that rejected me, and you expect me to be all trusting? I don't think so.  You can't expect me to not trust my gusts when I'm usually right about someone. Over the years, I learned that not every man is the same, that some are actually lovable and sweet, the opposite of my father. But, still, do not expect me to trust you, to not be cold at first, and behave differently than I am. 

Traumas don't go away, they stay, heal over time, but they stay. Just like you forgive, but never forget! In my case, I won't be able to forgive a man that insulting me, hit me, proved that I was nothing to him for years, that doesn't try to explain or apologize for his action! Before you judge the way I am, try and comprehend why I became the way I am today. Instead of putting me down by insulting me, my behavior, or telling me to change, try and listen to my story. 
Everyone doesn't get the chance to have a happy childhood, joyful teenage years, being the little princess or prince. Some have to deal with screams, violence, and others. We may be strong, we may strive and let the past be the past, move on, but the trauma is still here, it may affect us in a way that we cannot always control!

"It's not the future that you're afraid of. It's repeating the past that makes you anxious. "

~Bella

Let's get together...

Inauguration day... Donald Trump Jr. became president of the USA. The entire world watched from Great Britain to Australia. People from everywhere either crying, trying to realize what's going on, or some are just beyond joyful about the news. Everyone has their opinion on the subject. I know I do, and as an European, it's not that great of a news. It's actually a complete nightmare. The past is the past, we cannot change it but we can learn, sadly, humans tend to not learn much throughout the years, let's be honest, we see it with the last election!

The day after Tump's inauguration, people across the world started marching. Marching you ask, yes marching as in walking throughout streets to protest against what Trump have been saying against women. The mass majority is the women walking for their rights, but also men who happen to agree. Women have fought for their rights, so why is Trump going to just disregard that? The question struck me! No idea, if you have a clue, please tell me! 

When you hear women, you think of a mature girl who is independent, strong, and determined to succeed in whatever she wishes. For me, a woman is a mature person who can be a mother as well as a wife and a business woman. It's a human being who is capable of being kind but stubborn when needed, understandable, compassionate, respectful but not too much that she is overly arrogant! A woman is capable of being herself, disregarding comments that may be thrown her way! 
So when women are once again treated as garbage by men who have women around them, it makes me a little upset, more than usual. I can understand why men would be slightly underestimating women, but having a president who doesn't comprehend the fact that women have fought for centuries about their rights, about EVERYTHING, it makes the country go very low. 

Trump may have qualities, he may be an amazing, but I wouldn't think so at all, not after hearing his speeches, or the way he acts around his beloved wife. Let's look how Obama treated his wife with much more respect than most men would with their wives. He proved us that behind a man there is a woman! Besides the husband there's a wife, supporting him, loving him, being proud of who they became. It doesn't matter if you are married to another man, being homosexual, there's a woman behind them as well, mothers. 
Who had to go throw labor to give you life? Who had to give up hours of beauty sleep to breast feed you? Who had to spend hours cleaning you, change your diapers, change the bedsheets because you had accidents? Who had to deal with sticky underwears? Who taught you how to talk, read, eat properly? Who took the time to listen to you when you were not happy or having issues? Who spent hours in the kitchen, making you healthy food to eat so you do not starve? 
I can go on, I see it every day with my mum, I had to deal with it when I was with my father when they divorced. I had to deal woman chores at a young age, and being a mother is a job, underrated job which isn't recognized by anyone. 
When you hear Trump talk about women in such a manner, it proves that he doesn't care, appreciate his own mother, so how could he appreciate any woman? 

Make America great again? It had to be in a horrible position in order to make it great again. It's being beyond great since Obama took office since he tried to repair the mistake that was done before. Now Trump will just destroy everything that Obama have done for this country. Instead of having his own people under health insurance so they don't die because there's no money to get help, HE WILL LET THEM DIE WITH NO MONEY! Yet, let's make America great again... 

Marching may seem like nothing to a lot, but it shows that we are alive, we are here and we are strong enough to stay where we belong or not more... Many women have fought for countries, for equal rights, and now they want to take them away like they never happened? I don't think so. Women may not be as physically strong than men, but women are determined, stubborn and mentally strong to take down anyone who may treat them like garbage. If we fight together (peaceful, mental fight), we are capable of succeeded! Achieve what we want! 

Let's not forget the strong women who fought for our rights, for us! 

"We have talked long enough in this country about equal rights. We have talked for one hundred years or more. It is time now to write the next chapter, and to write it in the books of law." - Lyndon B. Johnson

~Bella

The Book of Symbols 8...

Star

It does not prevent me from having a terrible need of, shall I say the word- of religion- then I go outside in the night to paint the stars... Vincent van Gogh, in a letter to his brother Theo, Arles, September 1888.

Twinkling in the more than 100 billion galaxies in the universe, the sheer numbers of stars are almost unimaginable. The stars of deep space that we see through telescopes on a clear, dark night are so ancient and so far away that their light has taken millions, even billions of years to travel to us. There are no people in the world who have not projected into the starry heavens the preeminent forces and myths of their cosmos. The great goddess- Inanna, Ishtar, Aphrodite- was everywhere the radiant evening- and- morning star, the arc of the mysteries of sleep, dream, death, and regeneration. We watch and wish on stars, pray to stars and see in them the phosphors of our psychic firmament. For thousands of years, stars have oriented the wanderer, sailor, and pilgrim just as consciousness navigating its unknown darkness takes its bearings from the scintillations of psyche's imaginal forms. Stars tell us of the infinite, the visionary, of something in ourselves that is starlike, star stuff. In the loss, we look up and find in the beckoning incandescence of a single star the longed- for soul of the departed.

Starry Night, Arsles, by Vincent van Gogh,

oil on canvas, 1888, France.

Out of galactic clouds of gas and dust, a star forms over millions of years into an immense ball, self-luminous with radiation from trillions of nuclear reactions at its core, and is held intact and bound to other stars and planets within its galaxy by the gravitational pull of dark matter (Greene, 295). Though Plato described it as " the moving likeness of eternity,"  a star eventually implodes under its own weight when its nuclear fuel is exhausted. If it is a massive star, its death can create a supernova, a series of explosions that blow off the star's outer layers in a radioactive cloud that causes a brilliance equal to a billion suns and finally ends as a black hole where the gravity is so strong that even light cannot escape it. 

Long before we knew the phenomenal nature of a star, it suggested a nuclear, enigmatic "point" or " monad" whose source of gravity was mysterious and abysmal. Egyptian Nut, the lovely goddess of the night sky, was depicted as giving birth to the stars and talking them up against her dark belly (Clark, 50), the way unconscious gives birth to consciousness and darkly encompasses the luster of its individual spark. In the Pyramid Texts, the deceased was directed to become an "imperishable star" and so live forever (Quirke,50). Alchemy adopted the theme in its goal of bringing the conflicting "many" of the self into a luminous and unified "one." Evocative of the magnetic "center" and its capacity to order and synthesize, the pole star, in Egypt known as "that place" or "the great city," was perceived as the node of the universe, the center of its regulation and the seat of the high god who presides over the cosmic circuit of stars (Clark, 58). In unmoving solitude in the midst of the heavens as at the center of a mandala, the pole star appeared to the Chinese as the stillness of an emperor surrounded by his glittering court, and alchemy described it as the fiery heart of its spirit Mercurius.

Five-pointed stars as emblem of gods and immortal souls.

Painting from the tomb of Iry-nufer, 1305-1200 B.C.E.

Theban Necropolis, Egypt.

Stars are also felt as ambivalent; we speak of our good stars and evil stars. The ancients discovered in the "wheel of the stars" a divinatory map, or zodiac, based on the orbits of the sun, moon, and planets in relation to the fixed star constellations. Astrology brought the outer heavens into correspondence with the inner by calculating the position of the heavenly bodies at the moment of an individual's birth. The "writing in the heavens" could seem fated, however. Heimarmene, the " compulsion of the stars," referred to unconscious patterns of behavior that felt unalterable and determinative; it was a goal of religious rites and of healing process even in their oldest forms to bring these patterns under a conscious agency, thereby breaking their compulsive power.

Stars continue to stir us at the deepest levels. the black hole has been compared to alchemy's "black blacker than black" of psychic fragmentation and absolute despair. M.L. von Franz thought of it as an image of the soul outside the "event horizon" of space and time- existing beyond death in a state of unextended intensity, or "specifications" (p.139). Alchemists called the imagination a celestial or super-celestial star because of its ability to shed light on, transform and transcend the fetters of existence ( CW 12:394). Paracelsus used the term for the numinous "light of nature," which he believed was innate uniquely in each individual and also in animals an inborn spirit. Only self-knowledge, he believed, can teach us of this "quintessence," and the learning is unconventional, engaging intuition, feeling, fantasy and dreams: "As the light of nature cannot speak, it buildeth shapes in sleep" (CW 8:90-391). These, too, are like stars, reflections of eternity in the dark pool of our being.

~Bella

Let's take some responsibilities...

Next stop... 

RESPONSIBILITY

Helping our children take ownership of their lives

WHAT IS IT?

Responsibility is the ability to take ownership of both accomplishments and mistakes. 

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?

"The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life." - Hal Elrod

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

*Follows through on promises and commitments

* Is dependable

* Does what needs to be done without being asked

* Accepts blame (does not make excuses or blame others  for mistakes)

*Does the right thing, even when no one is watching

How you can help your child

1. Model it

The most powerful way to teach responsibility is to model responsibility for your child. If you make a promise to someone, keep it. If you make a commitment, stick to it until the end (even if you don't feel like it). Verbalize these situations for your child. You could say, "I'd really like to stay home today, but I promised our neighbors I would help them with their garden."

2. Let them help you

Young children often want nothing more than to help you (cook, clean, fold laundry). Even though it may take 3 times longer to get something done, let them help you. Letting them help you builds your child's confidence and self-worth and teaches them how to do chores. Be careful not to be overly critical they do the job-- this can undo the positive experience.

3. Chores, chores, chores
Age-appropriate chores are an important part of building responsibility. Before assigning chores, be sure to model each task for your child. Start small, and gradually add tasks as they get older. Make a visual list or chart so your child can see what needs to be done each day. 

4. Help them understand consequences
Each choice we make has a consequence- positive or negative. Being responsible means that we try to make choices that are going to give us the best consequences. Use examples from your life to help reinforce this. You could say, "I chose to pack my lunch last night, and now I don't feel rushed this morning." Give your child opportunities to make good choices, but don't rescue them when they forget their responsibilities. If they are responsible for bringing their band instrument to school and they forget, don't bring it to them. Let them pay the consequence this time and chances are, they will be more responsible the next time. 

We all have to deal with responsibilities, but how many of us take them seriously?
Children may have a difficult time taking them seriously, but adults have to deal with these important ones. Most of us don't even take them seriously, prefer to have others deal with their responsibilities. But at some point we are all responsible for someone or something!
Don't try and run away from them! 

"Responsibility is the price of freedom."- Elbert Hubbard.

~Bella 

Psych 101... PERSONALITY... What makes you... You?

When discussing personality, psychologists look at the thoughts, behaviors, and emotions that an individual has that make him or her unique- also known as a "mental system." Personality is individualized, and, for the most part, it will remain consistent throughout an individual's life. While there are many interpretations as to what constitutes personality, several key characteristics are

generally accepted in the field of study:

• In general, there is a consistency and noticeable order to behavior. People behave in the same or similar ways in different types of situations.
• Personality influences how a person behaves and responds to their environment, and is also the cause of behaving in particular ways.
• While personality is a psychological concept, biological processes have a large influence and impact on it.
• Behavior is not the only thing that displays personality. Personality can be seen in interactions with other people, relationships thoughts, and emotions.

TRAIT THEORIES

There are several theories and schools of thought that try to understand how personality develops, and many have already been discussed in depth. These include humanist theories (such as Maslow's hierarchy of needs), which emphasize the role of free will and the experience of the individual; psychoanalytic theories (like the work of Sigmund Freud) that emphasize early experiences and the unconscious); behavioral theories (like classical and operant conditioning), which suggest that the individual and his or her interaction with the environment lead to the development of personality; and trait theories, which are particularly noteworthy because of their emphasis on the difference between people. Trait theories, then, focus on finding and measuring the personality traits that comprise each individual. Throughout the history of psychology, there have been several trait theories. Among the most important are:

Allport's Trait Theory

In 1936, Harvard psychologist Gordon Allport, who also taught the very first personality psychology class in the United States, developed his trait theory of personality. Allport went through the dictionary and searched for every term he felt described a personality trait. With a list of over 4,500 words, Allport organized these traits into three categories:

1. Cardinal Traits: Traits that control and define the entire personality of an individual. As a result, these types of traits are often synonymous with the individual and are very rare. These traits include Christ-like, Narcissistic, and Machiavellian. 

2. Central Traits: Traits that are common. These include traits like friendliness, kindness, honesty, etc.

3. Secondary Traits: Traits that appear under particular conditions and circumstances. For example, becoming nervous prior to giving a speech in public. 

Cattell's Sixteen Personality Factors

Working off of Gordon Allport's theory, psychologist Raymond Cattell tookAllport's list of more than 4,200 personality traits and dwindled it down to 171 traits, by combining those that were similar to one another and removing traits that were uncommon. Cattell then created questionnaires that used these traits and tested a large population sample. Once Cattell had the results from the questionnaires, he identified any terms that were closely related and used a statistical process known as factor analysis to decrease the number of main personality traits even further. He concluded that a total of sixteen personality traits were the source of all personalities and that every single person had these traits to some degree. The sixteen personality factors Cattell identified are:

• Abstractedness: Being imaginative and abstract versus being grounded and practical.
• Apprehension: Being worried and insecure versus being confident and secure.
• Dominance: Being forceful and assertive versus being submissive and secure.
• Emotional stability: Being calm versus being emotionally unstable and high-strung.
• Liveliness: Being enthusiastic and spontaneous versus being restrained and serious.
• Openness to change: Being flexible and open versus being traditional and attached to the familiar. 
• Perfectionism: Being self-disciplined and controlling versus being undisciplined and flexible.
• Privateness: Being discreet and shrewd versus being open and unpretentious. 
• Reasoning: Thinking abstractly and being more intelligent versus thinking concretely and being less intelligent.
• Rule consciousness: Being conscientious and conforming versus being nonconforming and disregarding rules.
• Self-reliance: Being self-sufficient and individualistic versus being dependent.
• Sensitivity: Being sentimental and tender-hearted versus being unsentimental and tough-minded.
• Social boldness: Being uninhibited and venturesome versus being shy and timid.
• Vigilance: Being suspicious and skeptical versus being trusting and accepting.
• Warmth: Being outgoing and attentive to people versus being distant and reserved.

"If positive psychology teaches us anything, it is that all of us are a mixture of strengths and weaknesses. No one has it all, and no one lacks it all." - Christopher Peterson

~Bella