Joyful month...

Happy Holidays!

It is finally this time of the year away! Cannot get enough of the Christmas joy, the smell of all the candles or even the Christmas tree. Can't enough of all the decorations,the little cookies shaped like snowmen, the hot chocolates... Can't get enough of the beanies, the big sweaters, jumpers, scarves.
My season may have ended, all the autumn little pieces of joy may be gone, but let's be honest, a lot of people love winter! 
You've got the chilly cold days... You've got Christmas... You've got the new year that comes along quickly after Christmas!

December is such an amazing month for everyone, no matter where you are on the planet. I know I adore December! The decorations, the warm blankets are out again ( I always have them out no matter what...), the scented cinnamon candles, the big socks, and my wonderful beanies! 
It's that time of the year where the music is enjoyable enough to turn on the radio, the shopping mall has the fake snow little moments in the evening. Christmas parties all month long, little gifts, pastries, sweets... Shortbread! 
Can't get a single December day without joy! 


Now, it's also a stressful month as we all have to run everywhere to find Christmas presents!
I gave up trying to find the perfect mix of presents, to make everyone happy... It's hard! So this year I shared one of my brother's gift with my mum, and the youngest of my brothers... Well, I'm also his godmother, so each year he gets one or two gifts from me. It gets tougher each year!

So here are a few great Christmas gifts examples that I would absolutely love to receive, it's cheap and easy!





* Scented Candles (Can't go wrong with that one)








*A cookbook or a Q&A book
I love to cook (invent a lot of recipes but still cook)

*Socks, scarves or beanies (It's useful whenever it's cold, it's not lost)

*A notebook (I've got plenty but I can never have enough, everyone should have one in their bag)

*A jar full of candy or tea bags (Everyone deserves to have a jar of candy next to their beds)




*A LUSH product (You can find some amazing bubble bath products, cream)





*A photo album that you created yourself with quotes, photos that represent the relationship you have with the person! (Cheap, creative, and homemade gifts are usually the one that everyone love because you cannot say "No, I don't like it")

Buying for someone either it's a family member, a friend, a partner, or a coworker can be stressful. You may never know what they truly enjoy doing, or even like. I know that a gift card or a box of chocolates is an easy way to go, but sometimes we want to give something more. Don't get overboard with presents, don't take forever to find the right Christmas card... 

Enjoy the holiday spirit, the scented candles, the nice cold weather. 

"Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little more." - The Grinch

~Bella

Psych 101...The Psychology of Women

KAREN HORNEY'S THEORY OF NEUROSES

Karen Horney's theory of neuroses in one of the best-known theories on the topic. She believed that interpersonal relationships created basic anxiety and that neuroses developed as a method to deal with these relationships. Horney identified three categories that neurotic needs could be classified under.  If an individual is well-adjusted, he or she will be able to apply all three categories. A person only becomes neurotic when one or more of these are overused. The categories are:

Needs that move an individual towards other people

These are neurotic needs that will make an individual seek out the acceptance, help, or affirmation from others in order to feel worthy. These type of people need to be appreciated and liked by those around them and may come off as clingy or needy. 

Needs that move an individual against other people

In an effort to feel good about themselves, people will deal with their anxiety by trying to force their power onto other people and control those around them. People that express these needs are seen as unkind, selfish, bossy, and controlling. Horney stated that people would project their hostilities onto others in the process she referred to as externalization. The individual would then be able to use this as a justification for his or her sometimes cruel behavior. 

Needs that move an individual away from other people

These neurotic needs are responsible for antisocial behavior, and a person may appear indifferent to other people. The mentality behind this approach is if an individual does not get involved with other people, then other people cannot then hurt the individual. This can lead to feelings of emptiness and loneliness.

Horney then identified ten neurotic need within these categories:

* Moving Towards Other People

        1. The need for affection and approval: This is the desire to meet other people's expectations, make others happy, and be liked. Those that experience this need is afraid of hostility or anger from other people, and are very sensitive to any rejection or criticism. 

        2. An individual's need for a partner that will control his or her life: This need involves a strong fear of being abandoned, and the belief that having a partner in one's life can resolve any trouble or problems that he or she may be having.

* Moving Against Other People

       1. The need to have power: Individuals with this need control and dominate others because they hate weakness but admire, and are desperate for, strength.

       2. The need to exploit other people: Individual with this need are manipulative and believe people exist to be used. Associations with other people are only used to attain things such as control, sex, or money.

       3. The need for prestige: These are individuals that need acclaim and public recognition. Social status, material possessions, professional accomplishments, personality traits, and even loved ones are judged based on prestige, and there is a fear of public embarrassment. 

       4. The need for personal achievement: Pushing oneself to achieve is perfectly normal. However, neurotic individuals may become desperate to achieve, and push themselves as a result of their own insecurities. There is a fear of failure, and the need to always accomplish more than others.

       5. The need for personal admiration: These are individuals that are narcissistic and wish to be viewed based off of an ideal version of themselves, instead of who they actually are.

*Moving Away from Other People

       1. The need for perfection: An individual with this need will commonly be in fear of personal flaws, and will search for these flaws so that he or she can quickly conceal or change them. 

       2. The need for independence: In an effort to not depend on, or be tied down to, other people, an individual exhibiting this need might distance him or herself from others. This creates a "loner" mentality. 

       3. The need to limit one's life so that it remains within narrow borders: The preference for individuals with this need is to go unnoticed and remain inconspicuous. These individuals will often undervalue their own skills and talents, will not demand much, will not desire material objects, are content with very little, and regard their own needs as secondary.

Karen Horney was incredibly influential to the world of psychology. Her views on neuroses as a way to deal with interpersonal relationships and her identification of neurotic need were truly groundbreaking, and by breaking away from the male-dominant views set forth by Sigmund Freud, Horney established herself as a strong voice for woman and female psychology.

"Life itself remains a very effective therapist."- Karen Horney

~bella

Little pieces of joy...

To clarify one subject I do work in a little Macaron place... Indeed, the shop is all about the macarons, but we've got plenty more! Between the lemon pie, the eclairs, the gelatos but also chocolates!
My favorite little piece of joy has to be the gelato. It's rather better than ice cream, it's milkier which let's be honest is rich but delicious! 

So here is the list of gelatos that we offer! 

*Coconut/ dark chocolate
(There are bits of chocolate in the gelato making the coconut taste even more amazing!)
*Arabic Coffee
(This has to be one of my two favorites! I cannot explain how the coffee tastes in this gelato, you just have to come and try it for yourself.)
*Dark Chocolate
(Very rich, don't be surprised on wanting just a small cup of this gelato.)
*Violet
(The most popular one we've got! Everyone is curious because the light purple color is rather interesting!)
*Vanilla
(Classic, but that's my favorite gelato beside the coffee one! It is beyond delicious.)
*Pistachio
(Everyone wants this one, but it is quite good if you are into pistachio.)
*Tiramisu
( I love the dessert, the Italian dessert, and it makes kids wants some!)
*Mint Chocolate
(It went away quite fast! Popular!)
*Speculoos 
(A new arrival, soon coming, so be ready for a new flavor!)

Sobers

*Mango
(You can really taste the fruit as it is mango! If you are a fan, please do it and mix it up with a gelato! You won't be disappointed it!)
*Lemon
(Very lemony, very sour, but OH MY! Go for it! ) 

The chocolate list! They do look very candy like and beautiful but they are eatable!


*Salted Caramel
(Popular chocolate, thanks to my mum, they are going to be gone soon.)
*Lime Coconut
(Half macaron looking chocolate, green and pretty.) 
*Cranberry
(Do not be afraid, it doesn't have that strong cranberry taste, I'm usually not a fan of the fruit, but the chocolate is really good.)
*Dark Chocolate
(It's plain dark chocolate and many people love it!)
*Orange
(This one is one that looks like candy! The top shell is beyond colorful!) 
*Jasmine tea 
(You're a fan of tea, go for it!)
*Banana Rum
(Quite different, wonderful!)
*Raspberry
(Another looking half macaron shape chocolate, pink and deliciously amazing! It's my favorite fruit so I cannot ignore this little chocolate.)
*Pineapple 
(Another looking half macaron shape chocolate, yellow/orange, one that doesn't last long in a bag!)
*Red Berry/ Cherry
(Red look half circle which looks great, and taste great!)
*Passion Fruit
(My favorite! Go and get it!)

After these lists, you cannot ignore the fact that sweets are calling you!

"It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all."
~Bella

Don't be fooled!

If you have been on my blog before, reading for quite some times now, you already know I've got a bad case of anxiety. If you are rather new and didn't read previous posts... Well, I have bad anxiety.

On Saturday afternoon, my mum decided to come in a store with me, curious to see. It was fine with me, I don't complain, but this time, she observed my behavior. Next thing I know I get commented, telling me that I get too excited, that I show too much of excitment and it can be scary to people, to people who don't know me. Did she expecte me to be alright with such a comment, because let's be honest here, she didn't just say that, she went deeper, and I ain't the tough young woman who doesn't care about what people say, especially coming from her mother! I love her, don't get me wrong, I love how she is honest, but sometimes she forgets that behind my tough shell, there's a sensitive, emotional person! I took the comments in such a bad way that I just decided to ignore her and went back to work without saying anything to her.
When I'm angry, and don't want to say something I will regret later on, I just shut it, prefer to keep it all for myself.
That Saturday afternoon went on without me being bubbly and I even dropped something on the floor, out of anxiety ( I blame the customers that had just come in that day, long story short, bad experience with these ones a while back, and the guy recognized me...) I have no idea what happened in order to drop everything. After that, I felt sick in my stomach, I couldn't deal with it all.

I apparently appear all happy, bubbly, then drop back to being me, mature, the childish side goes away quickly.

My anxiety came a few weeks after my parents divorced, not a great time, if it was up to me, I would prefer to forget about that time and the following couple of years, but I can't. I didn't understand everything, didn't see everything clearly. Being ten years of age and trying to figure out adult words, arguements, it can be quite challenging. Every divorces may cause a trauma to the children, some kids grow up faster, others rebel against everyone and everything. I was in the growing up too fast category. I had to take on responsibilities that weren't mine to take, I had to learn how to be a "mother" before I knew what junior high was all about. I've always told myself, there's always worse than yourself on this planet. Some don't get to sleep in a bed, others can't even find food or fresh water. Complaining about it all didn't seem right, but I was still affected by the consequence of the divorce. A couple months after my mother separated my father, things turned into a living nightmare, my father isn't the best on the planet, sometimes I wish he wasn't my father, I actually don't even have contacts with him anymore, not that he tries anything or care about me either. My mother's divorce wasn't the cause, but the consequences following the procedure, my father's behavior made me have anxiety, panic attacks.

The very first panic attack was back at his home, in the kitchen, I was cooking something for my brother's lunch, when I saw my father from the window. I felt my heart race, my breathing got unsteady, almost out of breath, I fell down on the kitchen floor. My head was spinning like I was in a club, drunk. Couldn't get up, crying on my knees, not understanding what was going on with me. Since, then my anxiety has been coming and going as it pleases. I never wanted to take pills (medication), always afraid to get addicted to them.

So when my mum decided to be herself, honest, and slightly mean, teasing me about the way I was hyper a few seconds and the next mature serious one... The only answer I could give her is "Anxiety."
Instead of crying my eyes out, or saying something ridiculous, I start being a little jumpy bug. It sounds extremely ridiculous and I must look like an idiot! Thanks mum for giving me this low self esteem boost!
This is just a piece of the entire story, but having anxiety, dealing with it by yourself is a tough job. Anxiety is serious, it affects people's lives, it surely does to mine. Even my dear mother think it's because I act like a bloody idiot, childish even for one second and the next I'm more mature than a twenty eight years old woman, that I cannot get a man in my life and keep him. Thanks again for such a boost of optimism! Now, it surely does sound like I'll be alone for a long time... JK! Hopefully not, I'm still young, but I kow how anxiety works on me, and it does destroy a lot.

People don't need to always have anxiety either, I don't blame my disorder entirely for the quick bubbly to mature and serious behavior that I show people. It's a mechanism, a way of hiding the truth, hiding the fact that I'm hurting in order to keep people from thinking I'm just a sad person. Don't be fooled by bubbly people, some automatically have that personality to hide a lot more than you may expect. I'm not saying everyone does, there are some people that are just very hyper and talkative.
In my case and a friend's case, I know that our bubbly side, especially my friend's, it's to hide something darker than what he let others known. It seems like I'm doing the same, but adding that anxiety that ruins a part of it.

Next time you see a really happy person, smiley, or bubbly, don't just think it's their personality, it may be more than you may imagine! Keep your ears open in case you may hear a slight change in their voice. I know my voice gets shaky at times, and I lose my words as well...

"She's got the eyes of innocence; the face of an angel. A personality of a dreamer and a smile that hides more pain than you can ever imagine."

~Bella

The Book of Symbols 7...

Scarab

Through "scarab" applies to a whole family of stout-bodied beetles, it is the scarabeus sacer, the bung beetle of the Western Desert that has so captured the mythopoetic imagination. This "sacred scarab" embodied the Egyptian god Khepri who propels the sun out of the darkness of the underworld and across the sky in its diurnal journey (Quirke, 35-6). Here, in an illustration from the Egyptian Book of the Dead, Khepri encompasses the sun rising out of the night sea. Shu, the god of air, supports the solar barque, while Nut, the goddess of the sky, receives the brilliant orb to which she gives birth each day.

The dung beetle has the remarkable instinct of rolling balls of animal dung along the ground to its underground cache where the dung will be stored for food. Unlike the images of the scarab, however, it is not its front legs but its feathery-looking hind legs with which the beetle rolls the balls of dung. The ball is sometimes so large that the beetle is forced into an almost vertical position; yet, persistent and resolute, the scarab manages to negotiate obstacles in the way. 

Changing "heads" as the day progresses, the solar

deity is Khepri in the morning, while the noonday sun

at the zenith manifests as the falcon-headed Ra and the

sun of the evening as the ram-headed Khnum. Wall

painting form the tomb of Nefertari, 19th dynasty (ca. 

1270 B.C.E.), Valley of the Queens, Egypt. 

African cultures featured the dung beetle in myths of the beginning, as the creature able to bring up a piece of primordial earth from the watery abyss. But the scarab's pushing of its dung ball resonated especially in the imagination of the ancient Egyptians. Khepri, associated in particular with the sun of the morning, was depicted in lifelike forma as the black dung beetle, sometimes with its wings spread, or as the figure of a man with a scarab beetle head. Kheper, from which Khepri gets his name means "to take shape" or "to come into being," evoking the sun and solar consciousness taking visible shape with day. But Khepri's blackness also suggests that it is an invisible force that upholds solar energies, and unconscious that propels consciousness into its awakenings and discriminated forms, creativity and perpetual motion. 

The scarab's relation to the rising of the sun made it an emblem of rebirth. This symbolism was reinforced by the fact that besides the bung ball it rolls for food, the scarab fashions from sheep dung a pear-shaped ball in which to lay its eggs and feed its larvae. Pupae resembling tiny mummies, their wings and legs encased, rise out of the earth in which the dung ball containing the beetle's eggs was embedded, giving all the appearance of spontaneous self-creation. 

Transcending the boundaries of darkness and

underworld, the scarab god Khepri emerges with the 

rising sun. Illustration from The Book of the Dead of 

Anhai, 20th dynasty (ca. 1100 B.C.E.), Egypt.

So much did the scarab evoke the qualities of immortality, sublimation and transcendence that its dwelling, a subterranean, vertical shaft leading to a horizontal passage, may have been imitated in the architecture of Egyptian tombs (Andrews, 51). Hundreds of thousands of scarab amulets were crafted in Egypt out of precious and semiprecious stone, metal and glass. Their flat undersides were inscribed with images of animals, gods, kings and other designs, and they drew power to the living in the form of seals or jewelry (Andrews, 50), or were placed with the dead in the tomb as symbols of new life (Lurker, 105). Funerary texts illuminate the notion that at death the heart, seen as the center of life, feeling, action and memory, would be weighed against a feather of Maat, the goddess of order and proportion. If the heart failed to balance, it would be devoured by a monster, prohibiting entry into the afterworld. Heart scarabs were a magical means of preventing such an outcome, even, presumably, if the life lacked virtue (Andrews, 56). Attached or sewn to the mummy bindings over the chest, their purpose was "to bind the heart to silence during the weighing" (ibid.). Many were inscribed with pleas to the heart not to betray its owner: "Do not contradict me with the judges... do not make my name stink to the gods" (Wilkinson, 77). Here, the image of the scarab may be said to signify, on the one hand, a well-concealed defense against authenticity; and on the other, the balance and essence required for a "coming into being" as a linking of finite and infinite dimensions of self.

My Favorite Sport...

Alright, don't get me wrong it has to be football or soccer as you say in the US, but there is also another sport I really enjoy doing besides football...

People watching!

Oh, please laugh, feel free! No judgments, I'm laughing at myself as well! I'm sure you weren't ready for that one! Such an intriguing sport!

A few years ago, I was talking to an Italian who happened to introduce me to the sport. He had come to California for a couple of weeks, enjoying his time, himself as he was alone. 
I was sitting on the bench, next to him with a book in Italian. One that I actually love since the day someone special bought it for me! 
Curious, he asked me if I was Italian. I told him that I have Italian blood, but I was born elsewhere! We discussed my life in California as he was interested in knowing how different it is from the European lifestyle if I ever miss Europe, home! 

And we came to the subject of football. He was of football as well, not a Juventus fan but an A.C Milan one. Obviously, not my team, I knew about the team, though, so we discussed that for a good amount of time. Then, he asked me if I enjoyed watching other sports. I answered and he came out saying, "You know the people watching sport?"
I looked at him weirdly, wondering what he means by that so he continued, "You never like to sit down, somewhere and just watch people pass by, imagine what their lives are all about?"
When he is back home in Italy, he walks around his town and sees how many people are interested in other's lives. He watches them watch others as they walk by. It's rather funny to hear that type of thing, but it's apparently interesting and fun! Now, I can say that the second sport, Italians like to do is watch people talk, walk, run, have a life. Another hobbi that you should try sometimes, you will be surprised at how much you learn from just observing!

Funny thing is I do that quite often. Seriously, though!
You should try it, sit down at a coffee shop and look outside, observe people walking, passing by in a hurry to either get to work or a date!

You see so many different faces, various clothing style... Actually, the one that always surprises me is the way tourists dress! They can be spotted a mile away! Now, there is obviously the locals, the ones that don't care how they look. The hairstyle I see throughout the day is unbelievable, from green hair to purple hair to half shaved. Nothing crazy I would be able to do, but it's still working for other people. 

When you sit down at a coffee shop, you see students on their computers trying to get their studies done, you see some who are in a hurry to get to work, ones who are here to read the newspapers, the couples who kiss as they in the line... Sometimes, if you daydream, you'll see yourself in a movie "Café" starring Daniel Eric Gold, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Hubbel Palmer. It's an odd movie, surprising in many ways! You should see it, get to know a bit more about the movie... 

"I love people, watching people interact. It's a lot of psychology. We learn about ourselves by watching other people's lives on the screen."- Tatiana Maslany

~Bella

What are you? A Bookworm..

Welcome back to little me...

Last week was Thanksgiving, hopefully, everyone had a good time with their family.

As I've mentioned a week before, I needed a tiny break from posting, to gather some articles that may be enjoyable to read, and yesterday, out of the blue, before going to work, I had this idea!

If you do not know already I'm quite a bookworm. I love reading, I love escaping the real world to get into a completely imaginary one, not mine yet an amazing one! When I read, I tend to imagine some scenarios, the setting, the characters. Seeing them in my head makes me be a part of the story. 
I bought a few books, read all of their last paragraphs or sentences, and fell in love with the books... You would think nothing is wrong... But... Sadly, there is...

I cannot read any book! 

I've tried to get into books, I've tried, but I always end up putting each book down. This situation has been bugging me, giving me some issues for a couple of months now. My last book was a novel in French called "Le dernier voyage du Valentina" or "The Last Voyage of the Valentina" written by Santa Montefiore.
Amazing plot, wonderful character descriptions, extraordinary writing, and a full mind-blowing story! At least to me...

The setting is based in London, but later on in Italy where the protagonist has to learn about family secrets, mysteries involved in the whole plot. 

I'm not going to go into details, but I absolutely fell in love with the book, with the plots, with the characters! I couldn't get enough, read it in one setting, and when I finished the book, I didn't let go easily! Since then, I haven't read anything, no books, and it's not because of the lack of them, I've got plenty! No lack of books whatsoever, I just cannot get into one, and it's becoming a real issue! My hopeless romantic side always gets me, always make me feel like I've read an amazing unforgettable book, but this time, this novel hit me hard, very hard that it is always on my mind. I don't believe it's the story, it's more the characters that made me realize a lot about life, about human reactions and believes. Since then, I've got the issue of not getting into any books, even the ones I find interesting or the ones that intrigue me. 

Bookworms are people who are fans of reading, getting into someone's imagination, to learn about someone's point of view. They also have some issues, some problems that only book lovers can understand!
Here are some...

* When someone asks us what is our favorite book, we don't know... We've got plenty of them, don't ask, please. It's uncomfortable, I would know, I never really give an answer. 

*When books become movies and the plot changes from the novel. When they get everything wrong, it's just awful! Get it right!

*When you start liking someone and they tell you they don't like to read, don't like books. It makes you think about starting a relationship twice! 

* You forget to eat or drink, go to the bathroom or ignore everything and everyone around. If you are reading a novel in one setting, you forget your real life, you are involved in the book, you live in it, so the rest comes after. 

*That moment when you thought your favorite character will live forever and dies on you all the sudden and you pretend that they are still alive, but obviously it's not the same... Hate that moment, the box of tissue is needed! 

*Reading these bloody awful reviews on the novel you love gets you mad, your happy smile disappears! 

*When you finish the first book of a sequel but you have to wait another year to get it... It's frustrating. But it could be worse, some authors just stop the series and then it's just not frustrating anymore, it's murder! Finish the bloody series, don't let us hang! 

*When someone looks at you and says "You read too much." Well at least I'm getting smarter, I'm making my neurons work not like the others who don't even pick up a book! 

Anyways, hopefully, I will get into a book that I enjoy reading soon because I miss having my alone time with a good novel. 

"Books are a uniquely portable magic." -Stephen King

~Bella