This situation had sadly happened to me a few times, and even though I'm quite headstrong, when it's your boyfriend asking you this, you change your clothes immediately! It starts like this, little comments, then it becomes like this:
"Oh, your opinion doesn't count, you aren't a professional, you don't know what you're talking about. You should just stay quiet!"
This happened to me many times... I lost count after 11... To tell the truth, I would have rather have forgotten about how many times these types of comments affected me dearly.
I don't want to generalize everyone so do NOT take it personally! If you do, though, maybe you should take a good look at yourself...
To debut, I have to say that it affects women and men! Both gender not just women, but since I'm one, obviously my experience might slightly be different than what a guy might experience!
I've done this once, only once...
I have been in a relationship with a sweet guy, who were complimenting me enough and made me smile. At first, everything seems perfect (don't try and deny it, we all know that's true), then slowly, both people open up, are more themselves... In my case, I was always myself, I didn't try to hide or fake something. But after a couple months, little comments like the first phrase began to come up a lot more than usual. It would be casual, but still, it was there. So I did what others in love young woman would do, change the way I was dressed or how I put my hair up or down... Started as little... Then the comments would be more around my personality. " You should be quiet..." or " I didn't like how you smiled at the waiter, it was too flirty..." Like really?
Comments like these are just annoying, and it shows that the other person wants to change you. It's not right, and no one should try to change another human being!
I'm not trying to tell you to just be quiet, not tell the other person that something bothers you, but there are ways to say these things! Don't aggress, or make the person feel terrible for what they may have done!
I'm not trying to tell you to just be quiet, not tell the other person that something bothers you, but there are ways to say these things! Don't aggress, or make the person feel terrible for what they may have done!
Tell them calmly, don't try to push anything, you can't change anyone, but if that person wants to ameliorate their ways of doing things, they will under their own time, not yours. Don't push it or else you will ending pushing them away, losing them. We wouldn't want that to happen! Communication is key, yes, but don't try and control the other person, they aren't your property to rule over, there are no laws in love, so don't make any!
For example:
If you have trouble with the way the other person is dressed, don't say, "Don't wear that" or " You look like a sl**" Don't insult, just be like, "Honey, I don't think this fits well, do you have anything you can wear. I don't think it's appropriate for the occasion."
It's that simple, but don't overdo it either, after all, people are free to say and do as they want!
Now, there are some good changes in life and relationships!
You can change into someone better, ameliorate your ways of expressing yourself (that's a big issue of mine). When you are changing your way of living, leaving the past behind you and concentrate on your future. Or even when you change the way you view ideas... These are the good changes, and it's wonderful. The more you grow up, mature up, we all evolve in our ways and time. We change perspective, change our views, change our destiny in a way! Just don't try and change your partner because you don't like something! They aren't yours, they aren't your property, you have no rights to try to change or even help someone change without approval.
Just be yourself and let them be, accept and keep growing as a couple! We all deserve to be happy so don't destroy something beautiful because you have a clear idea of how you want your other half to be like. There is no one like you imagine, take the good instead of trying to find perfection.
For example:
If you have trouble with the way the other person is dressed, don't say, "Don't wear that" or " You look like a sl**" Don't insult, just be like, "Honey, I don't think this fits well, do you have anything you can wear. I don't think it's appropriate for the occasion."
It's that simple, but don't overdo it either, after all, people are free to say and do as they want!
Now, there are some good changes in life and relationships!
You can change into someone better, ameliorate your ways of expressing yourself (that's a big issue of mine). When you are changing your way of living, leaving the past behind you and concentrate on your future. Or even when you change the way you view ideas... These are the good changes, and it's wonderful. The more you grow up, mature up, we all evolve in our ways and time. We change perspective, change our views, change our destiny in a way! Just don't try and change your partner because you don't like something! They aren't yours, they aren't your property, you have no rights to try to change or even help someone change without approval.
Just be yourself and let them be, accept and keep growing as a couple! We all deserve to be happy so don't destroy something beautiful because you have a clear idea of how you want your other half to be like. There is no one like you imagine, take the good instead of trying to find perfection.
"Don't let anyone change who you are, to become what they need." - Margott
~Bella
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