Does your family should matter? (9)

Are you in a serious relationship and your parents don't agree with the person you are dating?
Are your parents disagreeing on your love choices?

These situations do happen a lot more than what you can imagine. Parents know best, but do they try to control your love life, not letting you go live your life?
Parents do know what you may deserve but I believe we are entitled to choose our destiny, make our mistakes, learn from poor experiences.

Now, I understand you don't want to disappoint your parents, but I don't think you should just end your relationship because of their opinions on your partner.
Here are a few things that helped me get through a few awkward situations...

I. 
If you are in a serious relationship and you want your parents to meet the person, you are going to have to talk about them. Showing up to your parents with a new partner without talking about them may not be such a good idea and I suggest you stay on your guards. Do NOT complain to your parents about your partner, it will give them one more reason to dislike them. So positive details! 

II.
It's time to introduce your loved one to your dear parents. You may not feel comfortable doing so because you know exactly how your parents are, so why not staying away from certain conversations, and play board games to keep everyone occupied. 

III.
Let your parents see who your loved one is like, then listen to what they thought. Don't take anything too personal because parents always believe you will deserve much better. Listen to their advice, listen to what they have to say. Next thing you could do is agree with them as well as telling them your opinion. 

IV.
Understand your parents' role! They are here to protect you, and if they don't like your partner there must be a good reason why. Look at their point of view! 

V. 
Make sure you make compromises. If they have issues with the way they dress or speak, do a little effort making them more proper in order to make your parents appreciate the effort! 

Lastly, if your parents disagree on your relationship, your choice of partner, the only way you could change their beliefs is to talk. Communication fixes quite plenty, but you have to understand that if you wish to talk to one another, one must be ready to listen and try to comprehend what the other person says! It's not easy and arguments may end up coming your way... Remember though... You are the one in a relationship, if you make a mistake it's in your hands, not your parents, if you wishes to not listen to them, it's your responsibility!

"I want a relationship where they know of us, but nothing about us."

~Bella

Asparagi al cartoccio...

Asparagi al cartoccio

Asparagus in parchment

Ingredients:

2 1/4 pounds aparagus, trimmed

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

2 tablespoons unbleached all-purpose flour

1 1/4 cups whole milk, heated to a simmer

Pinch freshly grated nutmeg

Fine sea salt to taste

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

2 ounces Emmental cheese, thinly sliced

3 1/2 ounces thinly sliced prosciutto, cut into 1-inch pieces

1/2 cup freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese

Directions: 

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F with racks positioned in the upper and lower thirds. Cut 8 pieces of parchment paper into rectangles measuring 12 by 14 inches.

2. Steam the asparagus, covered, in a steamer set over boiling water or using an asparagus pot until crisp-tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Transfer the stalks with a slotted spoon to a bowl of ice and cold water to stop cooking, then drain and pat them dry. 

3. Put one-quarter of the asparagus in the center of piece of parchment paper. Repeat with the remaining asparagus, using 4 of the 8 pieces of parchment all together. Reserve the remaining paper.

4. To make a béchamel, heat 2 tablespoons of the butter in a 2-quart heavy saucepan over medium-low heat until melted, then add the flour and cook over low heat, whisking, for 3 minutes. Add the hot milk little by little, whisking to incorporate between additions, then bring the mixture to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer, whisking, until the béchamel is thickened, 3 to 4 minutes more. Add the nutmeg and season with salt and pepper.

5. Spoon the béchamel over the asparagus, then top with the Emmental and prosciutto; cut the remaining 1 tablespoon butter into small pieces and scatter them over the asparagus; sprinkle Parmigiano Reggiano over all. Top each portion with one of the reserved parchment pieces, then crimp the edges to form sealed packets. Put the packets on baking sheets and bake until heated through, 12 to 15 minutes. Transfer the packets to plates, cut them open, and serve immediately. 

Serve 4   Cooking Time: 20 minutes

~Bella

Oh, what are those? ..... JOKES!

Jokes! Stand-up comedies.... 

I can't explain the joy I have when I watch a stand-up comedy. It makes your day a lot better, you smile, you laugh, cry of laughter, and at the end, all you can think about are the jokes or stories the comedian has said throughout the show. 

Each one of us has some type of comedy and mine happens to be slightly odd... My very first comedian, one that got me to laugh from the beginning till the end has to be Peter Kay! A British comedian who's sense of humor is beyond hilarious. He knows how to keep the audience on a high level of laughter, and the best part of his shows are the fact that he seems like he is completely serious. 

So I thought I'd share a few videos which make me laugh all the time. 

When you are having a bad day, listening to someone making fun of themselves or society itself, your day brightens up. The small things can brighten up someone's day in a flash, for example, a good cup of coffee, a warm shower after a long day at work... To me, the small things are made up of stand-up comedy, usually from this British comedian, Peter Kay.

Stand-up comedy  
When you think about stand-up comedy and the comedians on stage, you don't think about a headache they have to go through, the stress of not making anyone laugh. I mean, let's be honest, it's not just one person listening to their jokes, it's thousands. Not only they have to make sure they can remember every line, but they have to make sure the people will laugh at your jokes. Everyone will laugh at different things, different moments or not laugh at all while you will be cracking up. So when a comedian is standing on a stage, see many people, it's a stressful, difficult situation.

So when I watch a stand-up comedy, I try my best to look positively, have the respect they deserve for the work they provide. Not everyone can stand on stage, talk and keep everyone entertained.  I know I couldn't! 
Don't get me wrong, I don't laugh at every comedian. I will laugh at some jokes they will throw at us, but the comedians themselves, no. It takes a whole lot to keep me laughing from beginning to end. Can't laugh all the time, but at least if a comedian catches my eyes, I will continue laughing.  

Don't over underestimate a comedian's work, they try their best to make everyone laugh. 

"Doing stand-up comedy is in the middle of a traffic jam getting everybody moving again."- Jon Stewart

~Bella

Does your feelings should matter? (8)

"Feelings? "You ask?

Feelings are these emotional states which make you react a certain way. We all experience feelings at some point, every day we feel emotions, so why should feelings matter? Well here is my opinion on the subject! 

To me, when you are in a serious relationship, showing feelings, talking about them is as important as sex can be. Yes, many of you think that sex is the most important thing about relationships, as far as I see it, sex is just another reason to make a relationship grow. To my own belief, talking about what's going on with you is another important part which somehow falls off the grid half of the time.
When was the last time you talked to your partner about your feelings?
When was the last time you had a decent conversation about the feelings you are experiencing?

It is quite difficult to be open minded, to be comfortable enough with the other person, talk about sensitive subjects...

Talking about feelings is not a sign of weakness and it surely shouldn't give you a reason to be afraid of rejection! You are terrified of rejection, living alone, swallowing all these feelings because of phobias. Come on now, feelings aren't going to kill you, open up to the person you love and don't be afraid of talking. If they judge you, don't try to understand your feelings, they are most likely not the right person for you! Remember feelings do matter, anything could happen, but don't be fooled by your fears. 

While all relationships must be built around positivity, love, respect, and kindness, these emotions can go sideways quickly enough if both person doesn't let the other talk, listen, help. Anger, sadness, frustration and other emotions may give the chance for your partner to talk about the feelings, approach them, try to understand your concerns. It's intimacy and it's important in every relationship. If you let your fears, phobias take over, intimacy is nearly impossible and the chance of you opening up, letting your love go wild is thrown out the door. 

Holding up some feelings such as anger may result in a vicious cycle which could potentially lead to a possible breakup. 

As far as I'm concerned, you should be talking to your partner, talk about your feelings!

"I'm a simple person who hides a thousand feelings behind the happiest smile." 

~Bella

Should we still do it?

As you already know, I've written a novel for the past two years and a half. One year of research and a few chapters; the second year was managing life and finding time to write the rest of the story.

I've been waiting for the day I would finish the first draft, and this day has come on May 19th, 2017.
On a Friday, before I started my shift, I ended up finishing writing my novel. An odd feeling came rush in as soon as I hit the last word, the sense of loss rushed in and I started feeling different emotions. I had finished a novel which I had come to get attached to the characters who felt more real than people around me. Then suddenly everything came to an end. In a split second, I felt my little imaginary world fall apart.

DO NOT get me wrong, I'm beyond excited about the fact that I finished writing over three hundred pages, but at the same time, I feel like my little world is over, poof into the wind. The world I would escape to has come to an end. Obviously, it's only my imagination, and maybe I shouldn't have let the novel be my escape world, but it's too late for that now! 

Two years and a half for a novel...
A long time to write a story, yes, but it's my very first time finishing something this big and time-consuming. I had written before but never took the courage to finish anything. So when I saw my novel finishing, I saw a part of my life ending. I had the sense of non-existence all the sudden. Melodramatic to say the least...

Two years and a half for a novel...
It may take a while to write especially when life gets in the way. When obstacles come along and keep you from thinking about the novel, the characters, you can't find time, and you are not inspired to even begin writing anything. I may have had two years and a half to complete a novel, but let's be honest, I didn't write every single day on the book. I had other writing, other things to do.

Two years and a half for a novel...
I did spend hours staring at a blank page, waiting for an idea to pop up. Spent hours looking at people passing by the coffee shop's window thinking about my characters. Spent a lot of time mumbling to myself, searching for the right word, phrase, thought. Spent a lot of moments looking up my ceiling for some inspiration, I eventually knew dust spot was on it.

Two years and a half for a novel...
Imaginary friends do exist! I can vouch for it, I can finally say that I had an "imaginary friend". I'm sure you've heard of writer's block before, right? Well, I can say that for a fact when you come across writer's block, it does feel like your imaginary friend is gone for good.

Today, I'm in the process of editing the story, the characters, the plot, the setting... I'm in the process of making my very first draft better, less repetitive, more interesting to the reader which to this day is me and my high school sophomore year history, teacher. 
I proved myself I could do anything I wanted if I took the patience and kept the determination going. For the first time in a long time, I believe I'm a good enough writer because, for the little editing I recently did, my writing has progressed a lot. My writing is slightly more mature than my first chapters, you can tell I was afraid of letting my imagination run wild. 
Despite my first draft finished, I know I have a long way to go before I see it in bookstores if in fact, makes it to the publication stage. 

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin 

~Bella

The Book of Symbol 11...

Olive Tree

Able to root, grow, bear fruit and sustain itself in the dry, rocky soil of the Mediterranean landscape to which it is native, the olive tree evokes the resilience, regeneration and fertility that establish, and succeed, whole civilizations. Van Gogh's painting expresses the spirit of the olive tree, the gnarled trunks that exist for centuries, even a thousand years or more, and their branches that over time are buffered and twisted by the wind until they resemble waves on hillsides above bustling societies and ancient ruins. 

Olive trees perpetually renew themselves from their roots (Psilakis, 209). They resurrect after fire by sprouting new shoots and are able to grow back even if their tops and trunks decay. Cultivated olive strains cannot grow by themselves from seed by must be grafted onto wild olive trees. Saint Paul employed the image in reverse as a metaphor, reminding the Gentile Christians that they were shoots of the wild olive tree, which, contrary to nature, had been grafted on the cultivated olive tree of Jewish Christian believers, whose roots and branches were Israel (Romans 11:13-24). The olive was the Tree of Life for the ancient peoples of Greece and Rome, the Biblical Hebrews and the Muslims. Its fruit, processed with lye or salt, its rich, delectable oil and its wood provided food, light, medicine, fuel and building materials. Evergreen olive branches, their shapely leaves green on one side and silvery gray on the other so that they shimmered in the sun, crowned brides, war heroes and athletic victors who embodied the immortals. Olive oil anointed kings, holy objects for ritual and sacred spaces, and lighted the lamps of home and temple for centuries. Those who approached the Asclepian sanctuary of healing at Epidaurus came "crowned with the wreath of the pure olive," signifying transcendence of destructive forces and rebirth. Before going to Crete to slay the Minotaur, the legendary Theseus dedicated to Apollo an offering with branches form the holy olive tree on the Acropolis (Psilakis, 164ff). Olive garlands and branches were common in the worship of the god Zeus and at the Panathenaea, the games honoring Zeus' daughter Athena, warrior-goddess of the city-state. 

Gnarled, swirling, silvery, Van Gogh's olive trees

seemingly draw together earth and sky in timeless

witness to successions of human endeavor. Landscape

with Olive Trees, oil on canvas, 1889, France.

So essential to the religious, practical and economic life of Greece was the olive that in the sixth century B.C.E., the ruler Solon introduced strict laws for its protection (ibid.)/. Mythically, however, it was Athena who face the olive as a gift to the Greeks, who were cultivating it in Crete as long as 3500 B.C.E. or earlier (Enc.Brit. 8:917). Athena and Poseidon, the divine lord of the seas, held a contest to determine  who would rule Attica. Poseidon struck the rock of the Acropolis with his trident, causing a saltwater spring to burst forth. Athena planted an olive tree beside the rock and her gift was deemed of the greater value; she won Attica and Athens was named in her honor.

Athena's militant aspect primarily served the defense of Athens and its perpetuation as the thriving center of Greek culture. The olive tree's association with life made it the emblem not only of Athena but also of the Roman goddess Pax, or Peace. Messengers seeking truce or asylum would carry an olive branch wrapped in wool (Biedermann, 245). In the biblical story of Genesis, it was an olive branch that the dove brought back to Noah, signifying the recession of the floodwaters and the restoration of harmony between human and divine. That is the olive- symbol of the quintessence that survives the dissolution of the old forms and renews itself from the roots up. 

Biedermann, Hans. Dictionary of Symbolism.

NY, 1994.

Psilakis, Nikos. The Olive Wreath: The Wreaths 

of the Olympic Winners, Symbolic and Moral Background.

 Heraklion [Crete], 2003.

~Bella

Does your tattoos should matter? (7)

Tattoos....

Quite an important deal to some and just another creative pieces of body art for others. For me, tattoos are stories, meaningful stories that one chooses to expose on their bodies.

Judging someone for their choice of tattoo isn't going to help out, and it will only make it worse if you are trying to build a relationship.
People will get tattoos out of reasons, either because of a tough time they had to go through, a souvenir they want to remember, a date, someone's name... Anything they want to keep forever on their body as a reminder. 

Nowadays, tattoos are acceptable, to a certain level, obviously, you can't always expect to show your body art to everyone especially at certain jobs, but for now, let's talk about relationship wise though! 

When you fall in love, you are supposed to accept their faults as well their qualities. Accept their past, their issues as well as sharing beautiful moments with one another. This means you also need to accept what they wanted to do with their bodies. Getting a tattoo isn't a crime, it's not something that should label you as a "bad" person, a "punk", or a criminal. Yes, some tattoos mean some criminal gangs related drawing, symbols, but remember... Today, tattoos are more considered art than anything else, nothing much, nothing less. 

In my opinion, if you love someone, try to understand their tattoos! 
Now, when I think about tattoos and relationships, I automatically think about my own tattoos! Many of you remember the name on my chest, others won't, but I do have a name on my chest, covered but there... Under a second tattoo. I might have covered it, but to me, it's still a tattoo that is on me, forever! 
Relationships and tattoos are complex. In fact, it is quite difficult to accept some tattoos that one may have from their past. Remember though, not only they have decided to put something on them, but they have to accept them themselves. And sometimes... Some tattoos are regretful. So when I came across this video a few months back, I laughed away!

The funny thing about this video is that they are actual couples, who trust one another... So when I think about tattoos and relationships, I think about trust, about acceptance, about the complicity of one another! 

"If you fight like a married couple, talk like best friends, flirt like first love, protect each other like siblings, it's meant to be." 

~Bella