The Phone Anxiety...

The phone anxiety... I'm not entirely positive on the existence of such an anxiety, but it does to me...

Phone stress, when you feel uncomfortable waiting at the end of the line for multiple seconds for the others to respond, pick up the phone. That moment when you are on the phone but feel like you are talking to a robot because the other's person's voice changed. Sad truth! Kind of!
You know when you call the water district or even the electric company because you are having issues paying online, you have to call them. They don't let a representative respond automatically, you have to go through robotic voices and information before getting someone on the phone if they let you get one! What an amazing, wonderful, productive experience! The stressful situation if you have a difficult time on the phone. Not the best, but it's useful to have a phone nowaday!

Before saying you have phone anxiety, check if you have any of these symptoms:

- You feel extremely anxious when making or receiving calls?
- You push all the calls away?
- You worry about calling people because you think you going to bother them?
- You always think about when the person will say?
- You avoid making calls or have others call you?

Then when you are on the phone:

- You shake uncontrollably?
- You have a hard time concentrating?
- You feel your heart racing?

Overcoming Phone Phobia/Anxiety is not as easy as it may be, but there are steps to overcoming...

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) as cognitive restructuring and exposure training can help your thoughts and practice feared behaviors. If you are more a self-help type of person...

- Remember pauses are a normal part of conversations.
-Remember yourself businesses want you to call. (service lines).
- Know you're not expected to be perfect.
-Recall successful past phone calls.
- Set goal, baby steps.



Don't be afraid of answering the phone, call people if you want to... Technology can be scary, but people are worse...

"It's a phobia. It has no logic. You can't talk me out of it, so just go away." -Anita Blake

~Bella

Shiver- Lucy Rose

New favorite song, a sad one, but can't get enough of it! I've always been more attracted to British music, but this is beyond anything I've listened to! I think you'll have to deal with her for a while cause I'm planning on posting one of her songs once in a while... But let's start with the one I absolutely love! 

Shiver by Lucy Rose 

We broke

Everything that was right

We both enjoyed a good fight

And we sewed 

All the holes we had to breathe

To make the other one leave

And I loved the way you looked at me

And I miss the way you made me feel

When we were alone 

When we were alone

And I'll shiver like I used to 

And I'll leave him just for you

And I'll shiver like I used to

Just for you

And we stole

Every moment we had to make the other one feel bad

And we hoped that we could be what we knew 

It never turn out to be real

And I loved the way you looked at me

And I miss the way you made me feel

When we were alone 

When we were alone

And I'll shiver like I used to 

And I'll leave him just for you

And I'll shiver like I used to 

Just for you

And if we turn back time 

Could we learn to live right

And if we turn back time 

Could we learn to live right

And if we turn back time 

Could we learn to live right

And if we turn back time 

Could we learn 

And I'll shiver like I used to 

And I'll leave him just for you

And I'll shiver like used to

Just for you

Like I used to

-Fin

~Bella

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It has arrived! FINALLY!

As many of us have resolutions, goals, or already made a calendar with plenty activities on, I'm starting to get all my things back together, slowly...
No, I won't be going back to school, yet, and no, I'm positive on the driving, my phobia is staying a little longer... Till I finally accept the fact that Californians can't drive and that won't be a piece of cake, sorry!
At least, I'm trying to make an effort with the resolutions, and a few more goals that I've been trying to accomplish throughout the years, but never got my head around it all. For example, each year, I let my hopeless romantic self -come up and bring me to the conclusion that it will be the year I meet the guy, the one that will be able to stay... I'm young, yet, each year I have this slight wish, goal that it will be the year. I sound extremely desperate, please don't judge, it won't do anything. Pathetic would be a great way to describe me right this moment. The other little "goal" that I've been trying to work on for quite a while now is accepting the change in my accent. As many of you know, I've got that accent. At the beginning it sounded French, I hated it, then it became less of an obvious this, but still there was that hint of European that would back it up from time to time. Now, it sounds like I'm speaking with a British/Scottish/Irish accent that to be fairly honest I appreciate more, even though no one can tell where I actually come from. Many thinks I'm part British, not going to lie, I like it... You see when you live in a different country, from an European background, listening to British or German music, watch movies in Italian, or even put on some of these British YouTubers on, talk to the owner of Pickles and Swiss (who by the way has the same problem as me with his British accent, he's British though), and speak French at home or even at work... The accent has to change, switch as the language does, and so on. After a while, you speak with a slightly odd accent that makes people wonder where you are from. It's quite fun to lie to tourist on where exactly where in the world you're from. I take pride of laughing at them afterward. But, it's difficult to accept the fact that your accent is odd, and not sexy whatsoever! I'm going to start working on that goal again this year to fully accept the change in this terrible accent of mine.

Then this year, I made a new type of goal that I only thought off a couple of hours ago!

You know those excuses you use whenever you don't want to go to a special dinner so you invent some type of excuse for not going... Stop lying to yourself, we've all done it, plenty times! Excuses are part of our life, no matter what, even if you try, we make excuses for about EVERYTHING, from not going to dinners to why you were late to work. We are humans, no shame for it, don't blame yourself for any excuses, after all, they will stay!
To me, excuses are part of each human being, but I would like to try on working on the making excuses for everyone else's behaviors, saying, or even actions, thoughts, or beliefs, emotions, and feelings. I want to slow down on making excuses for everyone. Sounds simple, right? Well, it's not!

I've always tried to make sense of everything, of everyone's behaviors or emotions. It's insane how much I want to blame the reality on some fake, lame excuses. If someone doesn't respond, I'll just be like, "Oh, something came up and they had to go" or "They never received my texts". When in reality, they don't like me and won't talk, end of story. Instead of seeing the truth and getting hurt, I blame things around the situation. I may be right at times, though, sometimes people happen to be busy or they saw your text and started writing back but forgot to send. Stupid, but it does happen. Don't lose hope, not every excuse you make will be thrown out, some are real! 

Everyone deserves a second chance, the benefit of the doubt, once or twice to say the least. But there comes a time when you cannot keep making excuses for people, over and over again. Some people don't deserve your excuses, your time, your emotions! There are times when people need to grow up and take chances, stop ignoring and start speaking up. Stop using the "What if" so much because it doesn't help anyone, doesn't chance the course of life! 
Making excuses for your family member who always finds a way to skip Christmas dinner with the rest of the family, or the guy that you meet a couple weeks ago hasn't called yet... It doesn't help you, it hurts you, and instead of moving on with your life, you're stuck with the unbearable fact that you are trying to make something happy when it's the complete opposite! 

To summarize this whole post, the new year has arrived, and somehow this means new goals, or in my case, old goals back again! 

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." - Chinese Proverb

~Bella

Welcoming the new year with such a big smile...

Happy Early New Year... 

Saturday is our last day of 2016... Such a terrible nightmare of a year it was for about almost everyone. We are all happy to know it's over soon! Hopefully, 2017 will be a better year, cause somehow without any doubt it was a quite inventful year!

The New Year, what a time to get all your projects on, start getting those specific goals set for the upcoming year! I know I've got my list already, in my head, but there are a few things that really needs to be done... Somehow these few things make a single goal...
Finish this novel of mine to end these ten years of constant pain, heal from these scars, make my mum proud. 

As many of you know already, I have been writing a novel, a fictional novel which consists of a family secret, mafia, and a young determined, stubborn young lady who is in search of the truth behind her mother's past. That past that no one ever mentioned! 

I've started this project about two years ago. The first year was mostly research, a lot of character development, and a lot of notes taken down as I was concentrating on read about Sicilian mafia or watching movies, documentaries. You may find it boring, I always thought it was entertaining and full of interest! The second year was an on and off writing course. Juggling family issues and trying to develop my novel; I'm talking as if this famous year is over... My novel isn't finished, I'm still writing chapters while writing articles for this blog. Talk to me about boring, I sound like a morbid already old person who doesn't live her life to the fullest. When I'm talking about all this, I sound insane about an unfinished story. No wonders why I'm single... 

A few people, who got interested in my novel, have asked me a ton of questions, where was the inspiration came from, why start writing about the Sicilian Mafia, what made you write in the first place... And the list goes on! 
I'm a writer just like my mother, it's in my genes, can't do anything about it. I've always kept a journal /diary since I can write, and today, I keep a blog, journal, and writing a book with another one on my mind. These questions make me think quite a lot, I never thought about them before being asked to answer. I usually respond briefly, not thinking much about it, but then, later on, they stab me in the back, hard. Why did I write, why did choose such an ending... 

Well, here's more details! 
Writing, for me, has always been a way to escape the real world just like reading, also a good reason why I'm such a bookworm! Writing has always helped me keep up with my thoughts, desires, wishes, my pain, breakups, and a lot more. So when I decided to write a novel, it was mostly to escape the reality that at the time was unbearable. I was going through a lot more than I could deal with and seized the opportunity to write a novel, which now sounds cool to some people. But, let's be honest, deep down, I started a novel, a fictional story based on real characters was to end my own story. To end what is now ten years of my life that I have to heal from, let go and move on. I took the chance of writing a fictional story based on me to help me realize how in pain I was. Don't judge that too quickly, I'm alright, honest, and I'm quite happy with life, but there's a part of me that has been hurt for a very long time, and I've always pushed the memories deep down inside instead of letting them go so I could move on. My back tattoo which is my quote in Italian, give me another reason why I needed to write a novel in the first place. "Writing is giving someone else an opportunity." It pretty much means that when someone writes a character based on a real person, the writer is giving an opportunity for that person to be a better one or just a monster, to give that real person the chance to become someone else, to re-live. 

Every writer has some issues, either it's family problems, breakups, anxiety, or even because they lost someone close, they write for a reason. And when people say writers are sad people who drink, it's not half way false, there's a part of truth behind it!
Writers are people who can sit in front of a blank page for hours, staring at it and think about the next adventure they will write. Writers will talk to their characters like they are real people. No matter who the writer is, whatever they write will have some part of the truth, part of experience behind the story, the plot, behind the characters. No matter what, writers always find a way to express themselves through stories just like a painter who take their anger out on canvas to express how they feel. 
So this new year, 2017, hopefully, will bring me to terms with some people, start new adventures with new exciting friends or even more... 

"Writers aren't people exactly. Or, if they're any good, they're a whole lot of people trying so hard to be one person." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

~Bella

It couldn't get any worse...

Let's keep in mind that Christmas has ended, indeed, but it's still around the time when people decide that it's time to meet the parents! 

In any serious relationship, meeting the parents is part of the engagement, it shows both partners how much you care and deeply love them. As happy it may sound, meeting parents isn't easy as pie! 
Somehow the holiday season is well known for being the moment to finally meet your partner's family for the first time. 

If you've already encounter this type of scenario, you already know that making a good first impression is key, sadly, a slight wrong turn may lead to a real disaster! No one wants to make the unfortunate mistake, especially if you are truly thinking about building, growing and nurturing your relationship with your beloved one! 

Little one, don't be shy! Last time I checked, awkward silence isn't anyone's cup of tea. Try to make conversation, keep similar interest flowing around, don't let silence break in or else awkwardness becomes part of the moment spent with his or her parents. 

Little two, don't try and talk about sensitive subjects such as politics or religions! Not everyone is open minded, not everyone can talk about these subjects without yelling or proving their opinion is the right one. There's nothing wrong debating, on the contrary, I believe it's always fun if the other person doesn't get offended. Obviously, if you are meeting anyone for the first time, keep your opinion to yourself, no need to make their parents hate you because you have different beliefs. 

Little three, don't get wasted. No one wants to meet a drunk person, talk or even seen one, not the first or second or third time! It's purely disrespectful for the family, and playing it safe is usually key.

Little four, if you don't know it already... It's always polite to bring a bottle, flowers, something to someone's house when invited, especially if they are strangers or important people. When you are going to meet your beloved's family bring with you a small gift. It will bring a little plus on your side. It could honestly be a box of chocolate, a bottle of red wine, a scented candle, a bouquet... It doesn't just show you appreciate the effort they put in by accepting to meet you, and out of respect, but it also shows you put the effort as well.

Little five, be yourself and have fun. Don't take yourself too seriously! No one likes to see stuck up people sitting across from them. It's just awkward in any situation, unless the parents are stuck up people as well then you are good to go. Usually, you are just putting yourself a lot of pressure, stress and anxiety for nothing cause half the time no matter what happens, you aren't in a relationship with them but their child so... Don't forget to show your loved one you love them, don't forget to be polite but not too stuck up, and beyond everything, don't forget that you are good enough for their child so they can only love you! 


Now, obviously, you have to know that no matter what happens, no matter who the family is, if you are the guy be careful of her father and if you are the woman be careful of his mother! But still, enjoy the time! 

"That nervous feeling when you're about to meet his parents for the first time."

~Bella

Christmas Miracle... Did it happen?

Christmas is over, our stomachs are full, and the excitement of the last few days is slowly calming down as the New Year approaching fast... 

I'm a fan of Christmas in general, the food, the decorations, the Christmas tree, the music, the films, the moments spent with loved ones... And that Christmas miracle, the one I wait impatiently each single year! 
Since I was little, I was a bit too excited over Christmas, the cold weather, the warm hot chocolate, the movies, and that famous Christmas Miracle. Each year, a few Christmas Miracles happens throughout the world, between a family rescue, a couple adopting a child or even as finding a shelter to a lost kitten. Hearing about Christmas Miracle always made me think about my own Christmas Miracle... And as a hopeless romantic that I am, always watching these Christmas Romantic movies who always happen to have that Christmas Miracle that surrounds love, I wanted to have my own. Since then, each year, I wish to get that miracle, the love that may happen on that day! But I always get my hopes up for no reason. Each year is a lost cause! Which now, I laugh at. I don't take it as seriously as before, good news on that point, but it's still a little pain that grows inside of me. Being a hopeless romantic kind of sucks! I'm sure there's plenty of you that had that Christmas Miracle happen in your life either it was receiving a puppy for Christmas or getting rescued from a crash or even finally seeing your grandparents on Christmas Eve... 

This year's Christmas Miracles have been coming through quickly, one by one. 
A sheriff's official rescued a family near the Grand Canyon who had being lost in the forest, caught in a snowy blizzard. The family was separated, but the rescue was done smoothly enough to get the family back together, getting everyone treated for cold hands injuries and others. One story that people call a Christmas Miracle! Driving in the snow is quite dangerous and each year, we hear stories about family getting stuck in blizzard not finding their way back... This time the family made is all alive, back together as a family! 
Another story that touched me was when I read that "Santa" came in a classroom close to Christmas and asked a boy what he wanted for Christmas. The little boy responded by an X-Box and his dad who had left on Easter day for a mission in Kuwait. His father is a marine, and the little boy wanted to see his father for Christmas. Next thing you know, the "Santa" started taking off the beard, the hat, the costume. The little boy realized that it was his father and not a stranger. "Santa" had let the Marine come home early and surprise his son at school. A Christmas Miracle for this little boy who will be able to hug his father on Christmas day! 
A sweet caring story between a couple made me realize that life may be short. The couple, not too young, were feeding their horses when the husband falls with a massive heart attack. The wife runs on her broken foot to do CPR on her poor husband until the paramedics arrive. They come 17 minutes later to take the husband to the nearest hospital when the husband get taken care of. Coma, bruised eye from hitting his elbow as he fell, memory loss for sure... He survived. They said it was because of the fact that his wife did CPR on him increasing his chance of survival. A Christmas Miracle! They got to see most of their children who flew to see their father alive! 

Miracles happen, no matter how small or big they are. I know that somehow I did receive a Christmas Miracle, I had my little brother on the phone on Christmas morning! My brother had flown back to Europe for Christmas to see our father, and usually, he cannot calls or get the internet making our connection being almost inexistent! I'm quite the worry type of person so when my brother leaves to Europe, I worry, constantly, making me lose a great amount of sleep each time! This time, I got to hear his voice and a smile was brought back to my face! Siblings fight, have a love/hate relationship, but you can't deny the love that surrounds them. I know I can't deny the love I have for my brother, I'm his rock and his just my annoying taller bug that I love to annoy. I may have not got that love miracle, but I got my brother on the phone. I got to hear him say I love you when he barely tells it to me. It may seem small, but it's a huge deal for me! 

"A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn't get into a single argument all day."- Melanie White

~Bella

A few more days till it's here...

WARNING: There are a few long videos that I absolutely loved watching for a couple of years now, and somehow they are very helpful during Christmas Holiday!

Christmas is arriving fast, faster than ever before. 

It's only a few days away, and many of us are still struggling to get the wrapping and shopping altogether. Let's be honest, there is always some type of issues concerning who will come where, and how the Christmas Eve dinner will go. 


On Christmas time, I love to make some treats, and I'm sure I ain't the only one, sadly, this year, I'm not up for cooking or baking myself. On the other note, though, I must say I was beyond happy when Zoella a YouTuber that I love to watch, made a video about simple Christmas treats. It's quite helpful when you don't have the patience to make anything that may take a while. You should watch it if you are interested in knowing more about little treats. 

Wrapping issues! I ain't the best at wrapping presents, somehow I manage to be rather boring each year! I'm not the best at being gift decorative, so when Zoella, a couple years ago, made a video of gift wrapping ideas, I went all the way on being decorative myself especially when it comes to Christmas and Birthdays! 

Last Minute Christmas Gifts! 

A couple of days ago, I made a post about little cheap gifts for family or friends, but there's always a few little gifts that we don't always find ourselves. Gifts aren't always a big "deal" some people would just prefer something small but useful. We always look for big and unique, but the little ones can be as unique as anything else. 

These videos may be long and may take you a bit of time to go through them, but with complete honesty, it made it so much easier for me each time I had to go through presents ideas, that now I've got a long list in my head. 

Christmas isn't all about presents, the gift wrapping, the decorations (that may be discussed because I love decorations), the big dinner around the beautiful dinner table, the Christmas tree all light up! It's about enjoying time with close family, friends! Enjoying the big of time with people you love, to reunite a family all together, to enjoy unforgettable moments shared playing around. 

Enjoy this Christmas, stop worrying about gifts or how the wrapping goes, if it means a lot to you then it will mean a lot to the other person. If you take the time to decorate, people will appreciate the hard work that you put in to make a unique Christmas moment! 

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful." - Norman Vincent Peale

~Bella