So today's post has a personal twist in it, and questions that I've been having for years, unanswered questions, obviously or else it wouldn't be fun.
Curse- to use a word or expression that is not polite and shows that you are very angry.
Curse- magic words that are intended to bring bad luck to someone.
Curse- a cause of trouble and unhappiness.
As you may have guessed it, today's post is about a curse, one specific curse which is getting all the women in my family in trouble especially from my grandmother to my mother to me. Three generations of unpleasant love stories, and I'm only starting my life... So start imagining the worse for me. ( I'm currently laughing as I'm writing this, but trust me, deep down, I'm crying an ocean).
Don't get me wrong, I have a hard time believing in curses especially love curses. When I hear the word curse, I automatically go for witches and magic spells, the stuff that are in fairytales. Laugh all you want cause I'm laughing at this idiotic thing myself. But when I look at the love experience between my grandmother, my mother and a few other women in my family and how embarrassing their love lives are... You can only believe a curse is upon the women of the family. There is obviously some couples who are doing great, but most are beyond sad and the women fall for the wrong guys. Talk about bad luck!
It started with my grandmother who passed away a few years back. After that, my mother talked to me a bit more about the woman who I had never seen in my life and won't ever be able to. My grandmother had no luck when it came to love, to find the right man and to be a strong independent woman. Love makes you blind and she was the best example for it! Little side note: French guys, especially back in the 1970's until 2000, were known to be a little too "superior" compare to woman who were to believed to be in the kitchen taking care of the household and the kids. Somehow, even after the woman got more power, the men are still known to act like jerks to their women. Old fashion style to make it simpler. That is also the reason why I try my hardest to stay away from French guys, plus after seeing the world and living in a different country makes me realize that no matter what, I will never really get along with a French guy.
So to go back to my grandmother, she had no luck, and her choice was poor concerning her life style as well as her love life. From walking away type of guys to physically/emotionally violent guys. Well, I'm sure you can imagine these types of guys.
Choosing or falling in love with the right person seems to be nearly impossible for us, and even if I only started, I'm afraid to fall into the same cycle as my grandmother as well as my own mother. They both endure sad moments, no luck with guys, and both never gave me a good example, so being scared of falling for the wrong guys in obviously there!
Despite the fact that we have no luck in love, I don't want to get through the same bullocks of my grandmother nor my mother's. It would be too hurtful, and last time I check I was far from being my mother, not that strong.
Is it because we have no positive male figure around us? Is it because we trust too much (can't be right for me since I don't trust people)? Are we too nice (maybe yes for my mother)?
Too many thoughts, too many ideas to keep up with. Is the curse even real? Because all I know is that it's just some bad luck that is running through family members.
"It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply."
~Bella
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