She's always a woman to me...

Not long ago, I discover this kid on YouTube, Britain's Got Talent... He was so talented that it brought me to tears. I knew the song, She's Always A Woman To Me from Billy Joel, but it never affected me as much as this kid did! I'm not personally the only one who thought this kid had talent, everyone did!

She's Always A Woman To Me

She can kill with a smile

She can wound with her eyes

She can ruin your faith with her casual lies

And she only reveals what she wants you to see

She hides like a child

But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love

She can take you or leave you

She can ask for the truth

But she'll never believe

And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free

Yeah, she steals like a thief

But she's always a woman to me

Chorus: 

Oh, she takes care of herself

She can wait if she wants

She's ahead of her time

Oh, and hse never gives out

And she never gives in

She just changes her mind

She will promise you more

Than the Garden of Eden

Then she'll carelessly cut you

And laugh while you're bleedin'

But she'll bring out the best

And the worst you can be

Blame it all on yourself

Cause she's always a woman to me

Chorus

She is frequently kind

And she's suddenly cruel

She can do as she pleases

She's nobody's fool

But she can't be convicted 

She's earned her degree

And the most she will do

Is throw shadows at you

But she's always a woman to me.

"I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music." -Billy Joel

~Bella

Sorry, not a happy one...

I apologize but I don't know if I'm going to be writing much this week, I'll try to keep on posting things that I wrote in advance, though. 

You know when you think everything goes well, but then somehow everything crashes down, everything gets thrown out like nothing happened... It is a horrible feeling. It's an empty feeling which consumes you entirely without explanation. It kills you slowly, makes you cry like never before, and it makes you realize how stupid you are for believing something could be good, ever good enough. That throwing up feeling you get from anxiety and crying too much that keeps coming back without warning... 
I don't know how people go through so much heartbreak and still stand up, I can't move, frozen, numb and destroyed. Barely breathing under these giant tears that are running down my face. I don't even know how to explain myself, I'm so ... I don't know. 
It's like that song "Give Me Love" from Ed Sheeran, I just want to hold on, but just like the song, I can't have love, it's not possible! That song is just going to repeat itself for a while, a long time cause honestly I can't do anything right now. Cupid can give love to others, but can't receive it. Cupid can make others be happy, make them feel loved, but he can't get it for himself. 

Why are we ready to go through hell and back for someone who doesn't want that to happen and prefers to leave? Why do we keep suffering? What's the catch? Are we suppose to feel this pain forever? 
Funny thing is I'm actually realizing that I'm a complete mess, worse than ever before, I don't even know who I am anymore. I gave myself away and now it's over in an instant. Now I'm supposed to trust people? How can someone go through this? I applause them, if you can stand tall in this situation, you are brave and strong! All I'll be doing is drink up, cry, fall back into depression, watch 50 First Dates, and listen to the same sad song... No more sleep, no more eating.... 

If you are one of these people that manage to get through a painful situation without falling into a deep depression, I admire you! You are beyond courageous! You have a strong personality, the level of emotion is under your control, that's amazing! Mine are all over the place, completely out the door, 

Anyways, sorry about this short post, and a sad one! It wasn't expected at all. This week might be boring :/ I apologize. I don't know when I'll be posting happy ones as I am entirely off track. If you are in the same situation right now, please keep in mind that it won't happen all the time (hopefully), that next time keep these walls up, don't give in, sex can wait, and don't develop feelings at all. Or just don't fall in love at all! The pain is beyond unbearable. I can't tolerate at all, being dumped isn't fun. 

~ Bella