Break is over and reality hits you!

Hello back...

As you can tell, I'm back and running again! 
Lots have happened since my last post back in June... From quitting both my jobs, getting an online job and moving back to Europe! I spent a little over a month in Ireland, mostly in Waterford and I'm currently in France living at my friend's place until things calm down... 

What I mean by calm down... I started my new job not too long ago, so financially I'm unstable as I had to pay my friend back for my flight to France and other things... Europe is cheaper than America but when things don't turn out for the best, money runs away from you! It hides into the shadows and disappears fast! 
A dream came to an end for multiple personal reasons, if you want to read more about it, here is a blog post which I wrote not too long ago https://wander.media/what-i-want-and-what-happened
Not too long but it does talk about how my dream came to an end and what's going on at the moment. Nothing too excited but a small depression is sneaking around the corner, waiting for me to crack into millions of pieces... Not looking forward to it at all. 
Not the best came out of my situation but I truly wanted to make that dream of mine work, maybe one day. For now, I'm in France, I'm enjoying some time with my friend and her friends. Much older, mature and responsible despite the partying and the alcohol, but we always make it home... I never thought I would come back to France and here I am!

I have my whole life in two suitcases, books for days and notebooks... I ain't sure where everything is leading me, every day is a new day... But not knowing what's the next step or where to go isn't easy. I'm still waiting for me to cry my eyes out on the whole situation, still haven't. Still, haven't gone through much to say the list. 

So I'm back, not sure if I'm going to post every week, but I will try to share some of my time in Ireland with you as well as France... Share the last bits of me next time...

~Bella

The joys are real!

Living situation: 

I have a roommate and a few housemates who shares the house with me. 

Mental situation: 

I'm alright with the living situation, but being around younger girls even if it's only a year or three years younger, the maturity isn't always on point. Tough when you are the only one buying alcohol. 

As far as I know, I'm the type of person that needs to live around people or at least one other person. Living by myself will give me the creeps and yet... I'm thinking about it nonstop! 

I can't stop thinking about all the joys I would have living by myself if the rent wasn't so expensive. Welcome to California, almost everything cost you an entire arm. 

Little one, welcome silence, peaceful alone time. 

Little two, more time to day dream without interruptions. 

Little three, do whatever comes to mind at any time. 

Little four, drinking tea/coffee/hot chocolate as you watch the rain pour down, or simply gaze at the night sky full of stars. 

Little five, being lazy all day long without being judged! Welcome back undies and shirts! 

Little six, dancing around, singing as loud as you want like no one is watching cause no one is anyways. 

Little seven, have anyone over and share the same bed with them without being afraid for the next morning. 

Little eight, cook whenever you want, however you want even if that means in undies at times. 

Little nine, having little trips to the fridge whenever even in the middle of the night. 

Little ten, melting away your troubles with an amazing bath/candles and some red wine. 

Little eleven, taking your time in the morning, a peaceful morning without rushing to get to the shower. 

Little twelve, play music as loud as you wish and listen to whatever you feel like. 

Little thirteen, being able to go to bed at a reasonable time and not worry about lights or people being loud. 

Despite the fact that I already do whatever I feel like it even with roommates or housemates around, I know I would have much more freedom by myself or with just one other person. Living with people means being respectful to everyone in the house. Different time schedule, different personalities, different living style... Having housemates isn't always fun! 

Summer is coming to an end, new roommates, new lifestyle, new memories, new adventures... Even though living with younger people can be tough at times, at least I can feel like I can be myself and it seems like I'm more respected which feels nice. Don't blame me for liking the respect that my housemates give me even though the immaturity isn't always around. And I still have the "Mum" reputation, can't argue and disagree with them. 

"Everyone has this universal understanding of roommate drama." -Leighton Meester

~Bella