Showing posts with label passion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label passion. Show all posts

Tuesday, 5 September 2017

How can you write for so long?

When someone asks me about my writing, my heart skips a beat, I become vulnerable enough to lose my words. Giving me the opportunity to talk about my passion is a gift, an occasion to develop my love for writing to people, make them understand where I'm coming from.
I can write for a long time and people have been asking for an explanation... So hopefully this will help you understand me a little more, don't get your hopes up, I ain't easy to comprehend, I ain't the easiest person out there.
Let's start with the obvious...

"I don't have time to write."

"My writing is awful so why start?"

"Being a writer means being published."


We always have time to write, there is no such thing as bad writing, and everyone is a writer.
All these phrases people have to express are wrong, myths of a sort and people believe these sayings.
Before being a good writer, we are"bad writers" who jots down ideas to make it a whole new story later on.


So let's back up a little to you imagining a pizza, one you bought on the corner of the street. Too crusty in your opinion, but flavour is still here as well as the little Italian taste. The pizza may have some defaults such as too crusty in your taste, the amount of tomato sauce, cheese makes it delicious enough to make you forget about the crust.

Now think about yourself facing a blank page; you are starting to write ideas, but you think it's bad... Remember the pizza! Defaults, sure, there's always going to be them, but there's always something underneath, looking to come out. Your piece of writing needs work, and you can delete to rewrite it all, all over again. Chasing perfection will get you nowhere, so why chase something nearly impossible, something without depth?

So when someone asks me about my writing, my thoughts go straight to different places! There's so much to talk about.

Like I can write for hours. Yes, everyone is capable of writing, if I can, anyone can! I have two jobs, family issues to attend to, editing a novel, a blog to keep track of, housemates who aren't capable of paying rent on time or doing their dishes. I sound like a whiny child, I apologize for it, sadly, it's all true. Even with a busy life, I manage to get some time to write. After all, I shouldn't complain, people have it worse than me, some go to school even with two jobs, if you are one of these people, you should be proud of yourself.

Having two jobs is tough, and if you are in this situation you will know what I'm talking about, goodbye long nights out, and parties, welcome showers, bedtime, unsocial life. Yet, I manage to write, still. I don't wait around for time to show up at my door, knock, "Hey are you ready to hang out?"

Instead, I steal away some time.

Have you ever heard, " If they are in love with you, they will find time for you. If they don't then their love may not be that existent." Well, surprise, it's the same for writing. If you adore writing as much as you claim, you find time for it just like you find time for someone. You always see me with a pen in my hand, in my hair, a notebook in my purse, at one of my job, receipts with notes on, napkins full of writing on... Because no matter where I am if I've got some idea, I have to write it down. 

I live through my writing, and despite the fact that it is a passion, it's starting to feel more like a way of living. For instance, right now, I'm sitting down at my favourite coffee shop, having a warm cappuccino, a chocolate twist, and a notebook, pen, and a book. 
A man sitting across from me, a couple of tables away, have been writing as well. Looking out the window at times, drinking his coffee at others. Two empty cups next to him already, and a ring around his finger which can only mean, married. He is grabbing my intention not because of how good looking he is but because he is writing down on a notebook with a pen. As far as I see it, it's rare, usually, people are typing away on their laptops not writing with a pen on a notebook, welcome sore wrist. 
He hasn't stopped writing except to look out the window on his right, probably daydreaming like most of us in the coffee shop. Re reading past pages. He does interest me, surprise me. I don't see many men writing away in a notebook, drinking coffee after coffee, at least not in my favourite coffee shop. Or they are around when I'm not around. That's also a possibility. 
I could watch this stranger for hours without getting bored. Between his facial expressions, his hand on his notebook, and his concentration... He's the perfect person to draw some character ideas from. 

See... I'm writing about my private moment with my thoughts, proves that it's not that complex to write. After this, anyone can write if you stop trying to chase perfection. Writing a draft, something "bad", something you came up with is a start, a draft to a better art piece. Anyone can find the time if one give themselves a chance. 
What I find funny in this situation is the fact that I didn't feel like writing today! I forced myself to do so and that's the magic with writers. You give them a notebook or piece of paper, a pen and some tea or coffee next to them... SURPRISE! A couple of minutes later, they are writing away from a piece of art. No need for a certain mood to come and sweep you off the floor to write away what comes to mind. Magic no? 
It's a luxury to want to write, and yet, you don't need to have this specific mood. A simple sentence may throw you right back into something much more deeper, developed than just an idea in the back of your head. In certain cases, it won't work, but the bribe is on. Yes, like you do with children, I do it to myself. " If you write for at least 30 minutes or write a least one article, you will be able to go eat dinner!" 
Sounds stupid right? Guess what though... It works! Cause, believe me, or not when I miss a day of writing my mood switch off to kind of good to run away far from me. I'll be irritable, almost annoying ( I'm already am but double it up). 
Being able to sit down at your favourite spot, enjoying a cup of cappuccino or tea, writing down whatever comes to mind is a satisfying feeling. Like many writers say, you need a room, your space to write. For me, it's my favourite coffee shop or train station despite the fact that I mostly work at one of y job between customers. They are sort of a creative poison, feeding me drama to write about. Mix my own vivid imagination and facts of the day, the idiotic comments of customers. After all, writers need some source of inspiration no matter what or who it is. 

The 'why' I write for so long is only because it keeps me sane, keeps me from doing something wrong. It keeps me on track, daily. Writing gives me a sense of becoming who I truly am. Sounds completely lunatic and yet... 
The more I write, the easier it gets, and I finally know what I'm doing. It's becoming obvious, simple to approach. But 'how' can I write for so long, constantly writing? Let me be straightforward with you... I don't constantly write or else you wouldn't see me doing much. I would constantly have my nose stuck to my laptop, phone or notebook. I write when I can find the time and I force myself to do so. What keeps me going is walking. You might be confused by my answer and I apologize. I walk pretty much EVERYWHERE. From home to work to bars to friends' place to grocery shopping. When I walk, my earphones are in and songs are playing. If I lived in a bigger city, I would continue walking because it makes me think about everything, makes me analyze situations. And by letting me breathe some "fresh" air, it keeps my thoughts, ideas flowing. 
So yes, instead of parties or doing whatever kids my age would be doing, I read, watch football (soccer) games, help my friends in need, and write. Go figure, I'm an odd individual. 

When you don't make writing a big idea, it becomes a way of living and not some task that you are forced to do. It becomes your long lost love, one who will never cheat on you, one you will always count on to make your crappy day a delightful one. 
Thinking of it, my own writing is pretty much my boyfriend. An Italian flirty, lovable one who's also part Irish making him the most loyal and protective one out there. 
That also helps me recognize the fact that writing is just like a relationship! You have to make time, steal away some time to make memories, to make the relationship flourish. You have to work for it, with it. 

"A writer is simply a photographer of thoughts." 
~ Bella

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

Coffee addiction...

A few months ago, I went through a couple of addictions that I described such as YouTube. The most "normal" addiction that I currently struggle with is COFFEE. Many of you suffer from the addiction.


When you hear addiction, you go straight to drugs, alcohol, but we forget the other little things which keep us from living right. Doesn't matter if they hit your health or sleep or the ability to socialize with others. Addictions are a part of every human being, it's part of society. Playing video games all day long can be an addiction, keeps you from going outside and socialize, physically socialize!

Coffe...

What a long story! It's a love/hate relationship that grew stronger throughout tough and sleepy times, but also made me more anxious, more vulnerable to the disorder. One cup of strong coffee, no sugar, no cream, just black coffee will wake me right up. Yet, even after a cup, I want another one later on... Then, the anxiety kicks in out of the blue, worse than ever, and still, I want that cup of coffee, that cappuccino, that espresso.

As it may affect my anxiety in a terrible way, drinking coffee have some benefits!

#1. Coffee can help people feel less tired and increase energy level. Caffeine is the most commonly consumed psychoactive substance in the world. Many trials in humans show that coffee improves various aspects of brain function. This includes memory, mood, vigilance, energy levels, reaction times and general cognitive function.
( I've seen that after drinking a cup of coffee, I wake up, feel energetic enough to start a day)

#2. Coffee has some essential nutrients. For example, in a single cup of coffee contains Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5), Manganese and Potassium, Magnesium and Niacin (Vitamin B3). May not seem a lot but some people drink more than one single cup, I know I can go up to three cups a day before 16:00 or 4:00 P.M.
#3. Coffee seems to want to protect the liver. We all know how important our liver is, it is an amazing organ that carries out hundreds of important functions in our bodies.  Somehow, coffee may protect against cirrhosis which is a condition that may be lead by several diseases such as hepatitis, fatty liver disease, and others. People who drink 4 or more cups per day have up to an 80% lower risk.

#4. Depressed? Drink coffee. Depression is a serious mental disorder that may cause a significantly reduced quality of life. It's becoming more common at this period of time. A Harvard study published a couple years ago, women who drank 4 or more cups per day had a 20% lower risk of becoming depressed.
(I had to go through depression, and I can tell that coffee did help me out with the happiness that wasn't around anymore)

Coffee may affect us in a negative way, but we forget the good that may also give us. It's quite an addiction, don't worry if you are one of these people who can't go a day without drinking a cup of this magical drink. I was reading an article from last year in "The Huffington Post", British, very interesting! They stated; " ...if you suspect that you're going overboard with your coffee addiction, you're certainly not alone. In fact, some of the most successful and acclaimed human beings to ever walk the planet were totally, sometimes painfully, nuts for coffee. Just ask these guys:

1. Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a short opera about coffee obsession.
2. Ludwig Van Beethoven took his coffee with exactly 60 beans per cup.
3. Benjamin Franklin hung out at coffee shops before it was cliche.
4.Voltaire is said to have drunk 40-50 cups of coffee a day.
5. Søren Kierkegaard took his coffee with approximately 30 sugar cubes, give or take a giant scoop.
6. Teddy Roosevelt drank a gallon of coffee a day. 
7. L. Frank Baum had four or five cups of coffee with cream and sugar each morning. 
8. Margaret Atwood has her own coffee line. 
9. David Lynch has anywhere from four to seven cups of coffee a day- with plenty of sugar.  "


Don't worry you aren't alone to be nuts over coffee... I know I am, even with my anxiety! 

"Coffee doesn't ask silly questions. Coffee understands." 

~Bella

Monday, 26 September 2016

Psych 101... Love, Listening to your heart, continue...

JOHN LEE'S SIX STYLES OF LOVE


John Lee believed the different styles of love were similar to the rules of a color wheel. Much like the way a color wheel features three primary colors, Lee believed that love could be broken down into three basic primary styles. These are:

  • Eros: Loving the ideal of a person both physically and emotionally.
  • Ludos: A type of love that is played like a game or conquest (and might result in many partners at one time). 
  • Storge: Love that stems from a friendship over time.
Just like the primary colors of a color wheel can be combined and create complimentary colors, so too can the primary love styles. The result is three secondary styles of love:
  • Mania: A combination of Eros and Ludos, Mania is a style of love that is obsessive. This includes emotional highs and lows, jealousy, and very possessive feelings. 
  • Pragma: A combination of Ludos and Storge, Pragma is a love that is practical. Lovers go into the situation with the hopes of reaching their final goal. Expectations of the relationship are thought about practically and realistically. 
  • Agape: A combination of Eros and Storge, Agape is a love that is all-encompassing and selfless 
ROBERT STERNBERG'S TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE

In this 2004 theory, Robert Sternberg proposed that love could be broken down into three parts: intimacy, passion, and commitment.
  • Intimacy: Closeness, supporting one another, sharing with one another, and feeling loved.
  • Passion: Feelings of sexual arousal and attraction, and euphoria. This is what drives two individuals together.
  • Commitment: The desire to remain loyal to another person and stay in a long-term relationship.
From these three components, seven different combinations can be created. The easiest way to understand this is by looking at it as a triangle. In the triangle, intimacy, passion, and commitment are the vertices, and the seven combinations are the connections between these vertices. 
Alternatively, here is another way to look at it: 



  • Liking or Friendship: This represents a friendship where there are closeness and a strong bond, but there is not any passion or commitment present. 
  • Infatuation or Limerance: This is what a person feels when he or she experiences "love at first sight." Because there is no commitment or intimacy, infatuation can be fleeting. 
  • Empty Love: This is when a love has lost intimacy and passion, but there is still a strong commitment between the two people. 
  • Romantic Love: Romantic love features intimacy and passion, meaning there are sexual arousal and an emotional bond, but there is a lack of commitment.
  • Companionate Love: This is a type of love where passion does not exist or no longer exists, but there is still a great commitment and deep affection for one another. This type of love is found among family members, close friends, and can even be found in marriages.
  • Fatuous Love: This is a type of love that only features passion and commitment, but lacks intimacy. An example of fatuous love is a brief or impulsive marriage. 
  • Consummate Love: This is the ideal form of love, and it features intimacy, passion, and commitment. Sternberg claimed that once consummate love was achieved, it would be even harder to maintain and that it may not be permanent. If for example, passion becomes lost with the passage of time, then the consummate love would turn into companionate love. 
During the lifespan of a relationship, Sternberg believed that the balance between intimacy, passion, and commitment would shift. Understanding the three components of love and the seven types can help couples recognize what they need to improve upon, what they should avoid, and even when it might be time to end the relationship. 

" The purpose of psychology is to give us a completely different idea of the things we know best." - Paul Valery

~Bella

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

The Book of Symbols 5...

Kiss

Over the doorjamb of the womb-chamber of the Konārak temple in Southern India, and among the images in niches on its facade, are small, erotic sculptures of ardent couples, or mithuni. Their flowing bodies melt together in a passionate embrace, evoking the sexual play of both gods and mortals, and, paradoxically, the release from it in the union of the self and Supreme Self within a single being. Rapturously, the figures kiss. And here, under the arched brows and interlocked noses of two who are one, the lips merge in a state of bliss that knows nothing of a within or without, and in which there is no longer separation, desire or grief (Brhadaranyaka Upanishad IV:3:21; ARAS, 7Ao.044)


A kiss of passionate longing may be shunned on the 
chaste movie screens of contemporary India, but it is
openly depicted in the sacred temple sculpture of the 
13th century. Sandstone, Surya Temple, Konārak, 
Orissa, India. 

Behind sealed lips, we protect one of the most personal spaces of the body; we part our lips to draw in the breath of inspiration or to speak intimate feelings into the beloved's ear, finally surrendering the private self in the loving convergence of one's own lips with the lips of the other. Even when not romantic, the kiss implies affection, blessing, recognition and reconciliation. Thus the psalmist intones, "Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other" (Psalm 85:10). The comparable climax of the Muslim hajj to the Grand Mosque in Mecca is the pilgrim's kiss upon the Black Stone of the Kaaba, an act of reverence first performed by Muhammad. In these religious traditions, kissing is a ceremonial act, a sign of the bond between kin, or respect to holy relics, prayer shawls or altars or homage to one's ruler (kissing his feet) or to one's conqueror (licking the dust beneath his feet). With the bridal kiss, Western culture bridged the sacred and the romantic, although such European fairy tales as "Sleeping Beauty" or "Snow White" mark the approach of true love by a kiss that awakens the soul, rather than kindles sexual libido. 


Through the identity and meaning of many of the 
characters in Bronzino's mannerist allegory are still
debated, this detail is unequivocally of Venus and her 
adolescent son Cupid engaged in an amorous, 
incestuous kiss. Venus, Cupid, Folly, and Time, detail, 
oil on panel, 1544-5, Italy.

However, the sensuous, unseemly kiss between Bronzino's Cupid and Venus, his mother-  slipping the tip of the tongue into her son's lips- portrays a sly, incestuous carnality. To some cultures, the public display of kissing is considered scandalous, for its signals the opening act of coitus, and casual, devouring tongue-kissing has even suggested cannibalism. Jung, in fact, disagreeing with Freud that all libido was sexual, noted the pleasure infants take in sucking and observed that "kissing derives much more from nutrition than from sexuality" (CW 5:652). The empty "air-kisses" of celebrities or the shallow "spit-swapping" of teenagers can seem to cancel out any encounter between two halves of a single soul that we can still feel in the secular sculpture of Rodin's The Kiss. The songbirds whose crossed wings surrounded Aengus, the Celtic god of love, deteriorated into the banal "x's" that close sentimental love letters. Modern Valentines- whose puckering smooches even use kisses to veil hostility- anticipate the chilling intentions of such phrases as "kiss off" (to dismiss a stale lover), "kiss up" (to display shameless obsequiousness) and "kiss and tell" (to betray matters shared in confidence). More stunning is the submissive "kiss of shame" upon the devil's anus (or that of his masked proxy). Here, the disciple kisses the "nether-lips" at the opposite end of the body than the mouth, a practice of medieval Satanists at their black Sabbaths, which often inverted conventional ritual. Similarly, the "kiss of death," such as Judas kissing Jesus, reverses, in the perfidious intimacy of betrayal, all that is signified by the kiss of love. The kiss can also convey a different kind of reversal. Francis of Assisi placed squarely on the lips of a fearsome leper the "kiss of peace," communicating a spiritual love that drew the most reviled being of the age into the saint's most personal interior. 

~Bella