March's Favourite...

Since I've started to work from home and at my favourite little coffee shop in town, I've been listening to a lot more music... Maybe a little much since sometimes I don't even hear the songs after a while.

Anyways... I've gathered a few songs, few of my favourites as well as an album that will be coming up soon! 

So let's start with FUR. A band from Brighton, indie and not too popular which makes me want to listen to them more. Came across this band by accident via YouTube and since then it's been playing around. There's something about the band that is catchy... So if you enjoy Indie go for it...

Next stop will be Banners. A musician from Liverpool who only started a few years ago. I first heard "Shine A Light" and then heard another song from a tv series "The Good Doctor" on episode 17. Since then I've been enjoying listening to this musician who I believe has a talent. 

Catfish and the Bottlemen is a Welsh indie rock band who I've fallen in love with. I cannot get enough of their songs, between the music as well as the lyrics. Got to first hear them back in 2007 when their first album came out, but since then, I've come across amazing songs... 

Another band which have been playing for a while now is The Wombats which is an indie rock band from Liverpool. "Kill the Director" was the first song that made me like the band as it is quite different from what I used to listen to. Still active and still going strong...

One of my 'lover boy' as to be Tom Grennan. Singer based in London caught my attention with one song ' This Is the Age' and then multiple songs followed. His voice definitely gives you chills... Plus I can't deny how handsome he is, what a bonus...

My recent discovery got me back 'home', Ireland. A young Dubliner, Dermot Kennedy, inspired a lot of my current creative writing. Calm but yet powerful voice, amazing songs got me to think a lot. His music is a blend of a whole lot got me intrigued and since then, I haven't got tired of listening to him. Homesick...

The album which is supposed to come out on the 5th of April is called "What's It Like Over There?" from my favourite band, Circa Waves. If you haven't heard from them it's an indie rock band from Liverpool. Despite being my favourite band, I truly believe they deserve a lot more credit for their music as well as their videos... Cannot wait for the new album but for now, I've got a little peak on what's coming up... 

Music has always been my cup of tea but I've recently listened to many more songs, and I cannot get over them all! 

~Bella

"What should I do?"

Take it slow, or just go for it...

I recently crossed a small issue... A small unexpected heartache, nothing special, but special for me to make it a big deal out of it. When am I not making a big deal out of a love story or love issue?  It might actually be my hopeless romantic side of me kicking in each time something is happening, each time I get attention from a guy, a sweet guy.

To get back on track of the post, it's about this person who doesn't have the best reputation around town, not the best past when it comes to relationships, nor have the best current health. Sadly, when you hear things from friends, you tend to back off a little which doesn't give a good impression to the other person. Listening to everyone doesn't give you everything on the person you are interested in, and even if you know it yourself, your friends' judgments are important as well as your own because you want to trust them.
In my case, I'm still trying to make my own judgment, my own thoughts, and even if I see good in him, I have my friends around with their own sayings. Despite the fact that I adore learning more about someone by myself, I like to have some background on the person, knowing some dirt, and this time the dirt isn't that bad. And yet...

Should I listen to everyone? Should I listen to every bad comment? Every little thing everyone has to say about the person when I know my own reputation isn't the best either?
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Everyone is entitled to share them with you, but the good news is that it is up to you if you want to take everything or not. Opinions are based on interpretations, people's interpretations. So why do we listen to them, why do we take them into consideration? Why do we care this much? Because humans care, humans need other's approbation and even if you try to ignore it, deep down you know you want to please others as well.
I personally try not to please everyone as I know I won't be able to do so, can't be liked by every single person on the planet, but what my friends say have to affect me in some ways. I get affected because I put some kind of trust in them, trust that wasn't easy to gain in the first place as I don't trust anyone. If you are one who takes it personally, please don't, it's unnecessary as I don't even trust my own mother, well, not entirely. 

Hard to make your own opinion when you hear, listen to people, when you are living in a small town where everyone, almost everyone knows each other. When half of the population love to gossip around. My little issue is knowing that the guy who I appreciate and trust enough, isn't liked by my friends, isn't understood and somehow, despite the fact that everything is against him, my mother nor one of my bartender don't seem to have something against him at all. Well, to be fairly honest, it's my bartender who introduced me to him. Yes, my bartender, the one who doesn't want to see me leave the country, doesn't want me to go back home. The same bartender who is looking for my future husband, the same one who is always asking "When are you getting married?"
It is his fault if this guy and myself are always trying to see each other when we are at certain bars. It's the same bartender who has to tease me and the guy when we are sitting next to each other, telling us how a perfect couple we are in front of other customers. Talk about intimacy and friendship... That's nearly impossible when your bartender has to come in the way, teasing us nonstop about our relationship, the one which isn't there yet!

Indeed, my mother met the guy, (let's call him Connor even though it's completely different). My mother never saw anything bad about Connor, thought a good shave and a good haircut would make him look more handsome, his posture needs some improvement, but other than that, she saw something else... Something much deeper than appearance. My mother always needs to see what's behind the appearance. See what's makes the person themselves. The sweetness, the gentle way he had to look at me and her, the charming little smile he gave her as he shook her hand, shy and a bit sad. All she saw was the pain he had to endure. Not sure how she got that from seeing him for thirty minutes. I guess body language is more powerful than words. The entire time, my mother was sitting across from me, next to my friend, observing Connor, observing his every move, seeing how he was, how he observed back at us at certain moments. My mother doesn't come off as easy, just nice, too nice and trustworthy. She trusts too easily as well that's why I tend to not show her anyone, never make her meet that many people especially around my group of friends. But this time, she took all her energy not to trust Connor, to have a harder opinion of him, harder first impression.

Now, my opinion, my thoughts are in between two chairs. On one side, my friends who are harder to impress, harder on Connor, and then, the others who try to see the 'why' behind his actions, the more understandable ones. I'm between two different opinions, different views, and mine just happen to be blurry. Completely blurry. Making it difficult to see the right and the wrong. 

Then again, you can't rely on anyone's judgements except yours as you will have to live with your own choice, not anyone else. 

"A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follow the public opinion." 

~Bella

Now she's gone... So is he...

A few weeks later, the post is back... Sorry for not posting for a while, busy life has being in the way making it difficult to write, especially when the inspiration isn't around. Can't force it... So welcome back! 


Have you ever dreamed of becoming famous? Be a wealthy lawyer? Have a pool in your home? Own a Ferrari? Dreamed of becoming the next best world dancer? Have a family with a dog? Own your own company? 

A dream? A simple dream?
I sure had lots of them as a kid, and despite obstacles that life threw at me, I still have them to this day. My mother always told me to believe in them, to do whatever it takes to make them a reality, to believe in myself, but sadly, I never truly thought I was capable of much. Even my teachers, on my school year report card, "B... needs to believe in herself a bit more. She is capable of a lot, but lack of self-confidence is making her be in the back more often than the front..." And I will pass on the details of what they all thought of me. Apparently, I was doing acceptable work, but since I was lacking such self-esteem, my teachers always had something to say on the subject. It never helped me, I always took it as a bad comment for myself. The more they said it, the more they had to comment on the view I had on myself, the more they made it seem like something was wrong with me, the less I was going to think good things about myself... I never grew out of this insane loop, the twist is the more they would talk about my low-self-esteem, the more I was going to have it. It never helped.
Not only I had to read comments from teachers, but my father never truly supported my decisions, supported my dreams... Supported me in general. One could say "He did, what are you talking about? When you were playing piano, he was forcing you, putting you down as soon as you made a slight mistake, he was pushing you to do better." Not sure if that would be supporting me. To me, it felt more like a "need to be better" than " if you want to be better". 

I can't argue with this, but you have to be in my shoes for just a second, and for that to happen, let me tell you a short story.
Once upon a time... 
Just kidding, I won't start with the most common beginning.
"I can hear the mistake you just made, start from the beginning!" My father would tell me when my finger slipped on the wrong note. Yes, it would happen, a slight slide towards another note would be fatal, but I was careful, and still learning so I had excuses. For my father, it was a whole different story! I started piano when I was young, feeling the keys under my fingertips, being in control of what I was playing was quite a nice feeling altogether. I was a fast learning, and my piano teacher saw the opportunity to write new piano sheets for me, between the pop rock and the unbearable indie, alternative songs that I would love to listen to, he had work to do. My piano teacher was an amazing pianist, and he always managed to write music sheets according to my level. I think he was one of those people who sent me higher, telling me I was talented and if I continued I would do much more. But life got in the way, and once again a dream was cut short. Today, I don't own a piano, but still play around on hard surfaces, having melodies playing in my head, melodies which I haven't played in years, but only with my fingers playing around. The ones I would enjoy singing along to as they were famous pop-rock songs from an old French band. Yes, even at a young age, I was fascinated with oldies. I was never one for lessons, but if I had the chance to play something I loved, I would go right ahead. Going to school for piano wasn't a desire, but I could have got the chance to go if I desired, but that again, is one more lost cause. The day I change my mind on something set, it will be snowing in Santa Barbara, and let's be honest, I don't see that coming soon.

To get back to the short story, my father made my life a living nightmare when it came to practising. He would force me, put me down whenever he had the chance to, and even if I was performing well, no applause,  no reactions just, "Continue" or "Start again". Talk about dictatorship... Playing piano was never a dream but it slowly became one. I dreamed of playing and owning my own grand piano, the long black ones. To play for hours even if I was awful at it, I would keep going. I lost a lot of my capacity over the years of non-playing. Each time I touch a piano, my mind goes directly to the bad comments that my father would say on each occasion.
Owning my own black long piano is a dream, and it could potentially happen, I'm not on my deathbed yet, I've got time, I hope I do, so I can make this dream come true..."

Dreams may sound like the wishes that are nearly impossible to do, to have, that's why they are called dreams. The things you wish you had, the things you could do, could say. The things that are in the back of your head, waiting for you to fall asleep to surface and send you to dreamland, the land of every possibility.

Tonight, my mother decided to message me, to tell me how she wants to see me happy even if that means not seeing me as much. As for the past few months now, I want to go to back to Europe, live there and not come back to the States. To finalise my stay back in Ireland where I belong. It's difficult when you don't belong in a country you don't understand others' life views. A country where half of the population is ignorant enough to make you think twice about why you started talking to them in the first place. Tough times, tough life, tough situations, it's only getting worse... The more I see and talk to people in Santa Barbara, the more I miss home, I miss Europe in general. 
Even though I live in California, my mind is elsewhere, somewhere where I feel like home, feel like I belong there without asking myself questions. And with this, I started developing a dream, a goal of a sort. Own my little pub where there'll be books to read in the back of the little pub, sort of like a tea shop/ library. Combining three of my favourites, tea, pub, and books. 

What my mother hasn't realised is my mind has set, and I won't change it, I will leave this country, this state and even if it doesn't make her happy, I know deep down, she'll understand. Not sure how I'll break the news to her, but I will... Somehow...

To conclude this post, if you have a dream, don't let anyone make you think twice about it. Just go for it, fight for it, believe in it and never give up because everything is possible if you set your mind to it. 
Dreams are here for reasons, to give you hope, faith in yourself. Just don't let yourself down, don't cut yourself short because an obstacle is in the way. You never know what may come around, because if you haven't succeeded it just means it's still on its way to you. A little more time is required, that's all. 

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Roosevelt

~Bella

Ghostly Feelings

What do I mean by Ghostly Feelings?

I mean the little flashbacks, the memories, the odd feeling that brings you back to a certain moment of your life. I mean seeing someone next to you when you know they aren't really there! I mean seeing something which isn't right in front of you... That one feeling you cannot fully describe but know is around, still cannot explain it to anyone who wants to understand what you are going through.

I personally couldn't get away from the feeling when my friends from Europe came to Santa Barbara back in November 2017. That year wasn't easy for me, between searching a new place to stay, starting two jobs, juggling bars, and work, personal time as well as friend time. Editing a novel and trying to keep track of my blog. The list could go on but I believe you know where I'm going with it.
So when I see friends, meet people from Europe in California, I feel like "home" again, I feel like I'm with real people, real friends. I can't think of anything bad to say about them except my friends... They didn't stay as long I would have hoped so, as they do have their lives back in either London or Edinburgh. Yes, Britain and Scotland, far away land... Still "home" to me because as a European, I know that no matter where I go in Europe, I will feel like "home". Our views on life and what is respectable as a society is the same, we all can relate, our education, our role in society. In the States, everyone has a different perspective on life, different laws from state to state, so when someone from Europe come, they don't relate to anyone.

Point made, my ghostly feeling, at the moment is concerning my friends, the ones who left back home. Sounds pathetic and yet, I cannot help myself have this feeling. I cannot help myself think about every piece of memory I have with them. It's like a missing feeling.

Here are some thoughts about the feeling...

Material things become important!
I ain't-a material person, I wouldn't mind not having a bed (I've done it before, I have indeed slept on a mattress and nothing more, it works well enough), but when it comes to memories... There's a whole new story to write. I have a bench, a simple, bus bench along side of the main street of Santa Barbara. A simple bench that holds long nights talks, long conversations about everything and anything. Sounds like nothing to many of you, but when these conversations went deeper than just small talks, you become aware of everything, little as it may sound or look. Each time I pass by that bench, everything comes to mind, little or not.
A pack of cigarettes in my bag just to remind me of a certain thing...

Every sad song or movie coming up will be a reminder...
When we are sad, we tend to push ourselves closer to sad songs, dramatic movies, things that will make us cry. It's human of us, instead of watching a comedy or listening to happy songs, we just pull ourselves to everything sad, similar to what we are feeling at that moment.

You go to places and all the sudden you think of them...
I have two bars where I still see them around playing pool, drinking old fashions, or smoking cigarettes outside on the patio. I still see my friend getting along with my bartender, the one who hates everyone. Go figure, my bartender finally approved of one guy, and that same guy had to leave. Deep down I know he wasn't fully accepting him, the day he will accept a guy it will be snowy in downtown Santa Barbara.

Think about other people? Forget about it...
Not as easy to do when all you can think of is their voices in the background. Yes, when I'm around in my bar, I still look for a sign that they are around, still looking for another Guinness next to mine (despite the fact that some of my friends do drink the same thing I do). 

Not sure how to describe such a feeling without explaining my own experiences, my own thoughts on the subject. Not entirely sure how to express myself without pouring my feelings down, without crying on my keyboard, on the book which currently sits on my laps. You have to feel it yourself before understanding where I'm coming, but if you have indeed come across such a feeling, just know you are far from alone in this situation. Tricky situation. I know the pain of not putting words into my feelings, so if you are having issues with it, talk to someone! 


"Ghost
It happens. they forget the sound of your voice, the shape of
your eyes, and the curve of your smile. When you left, you
tried to leave traces of yourself behind. But your smell on their
sweater eventually fades, and your things in their drawers get
pushed to the back, and suddenly you aren't real anymore.
So you are replaced with someone who is. You are a ghost, a
shadow, only a memory. So much that you wonder if you even
existed to them at all." - Courtney Peppernell

~Bella

Lisa Hannigan

I know it's been a while since I posted about songs. But I've been going back to my roots, my Celtic music, the one I used to danced to at festivals with my mum. Nothing anyone would want to listen so I waited to finally get something anyone can appreciate either it's the instrumental part or simply the lyrics...

Let's begin by telling you a little bit of where I came across the singer in the first place...

Ondine... A romantic Irish movie about a woman who got caught in a fishnet, a drunk fisherman who is divorced, has a beautiful daughter who turned out to be sick (saddest thing ever), and the mystery brought by the famous selkies. 

Side note: Selkies are said to live as seals in the sea but shed their skin (coat) to become human on land. The legend plays an important role in Scandinavian, Irish and Scottish mythology. Their myths are romantic tragedies, a common theme for land/sea romances, however, it is the Selkies who suffer rather than their human lovers and spouses. 

In the movie, the young woman fished out of the sea in Ireland, sings to the fish, and gives much luck to her fisherman... But like every romantic story, there's a pitch of sadness... And that is up to you to find more by watching the movie yourself.

I quite loved it, it brought me back "HOME".

And that is the backstory of where I came into listening to Lisa Hannigan. One of her song, the one right below, came at a good part... 

Lille- 

Sea Song- 

Fall- 

Snow-

Lisa Hannigan is an Irish singer, songwriter, and musician. Bright in every way, I fell in love with her songs, the way she writes, and how peaceful it is... Compare to everything else I may have on my Itunes, this is by far what I would listen if I want to fall asleep to "home" or read a book. 

Now, I don't expect everyone to love it, like it or even bare with it, but I just thought I would share what I have been in love for a couple of days now. 

Next time, you may have to deal with what I grew up with, and trust me it won't be as peaceful or English for that matter...  Irish Gaelic, Scottish Gaelic, and Breton are old languages which usually brings me back home no matter where I am... So until next time! 

" My music will tell you more about me than I ever will." 

~Bella

February? Love is in the air?

I don't remember a time when I had a real Valentine's Day if that even exists...

Valentine's Day may be the best day in someone's life or the worst. For me... It's just another day at work... Sounds pathetic but trust me, it is just another day! Quite nice of a day, but then again, I don't believe you need to show someone you love them only one day a year! Can't you just go to the movie, the restaurant or the massage place on any day of the week?

Alright, I'm a bit negative towards the whole Valentine's Day, but I have reasons to be one.

Despite this negative side and how much people spend that day... It has its perks such as movies, flowers, candles,  and obviously the classic chocolates...

And TODAY, chocolate made it to the blog! No need to discuss or explain the reason behind such an obvious day.

So CHOCOLATE...

Dangerous addiction, trust me on this one!  It's supposed to be a girl's best friend right after diamonds, and in my case, it's my number 1 addiction, my first love... First, white chocolate, then milk and now I'm turning into the dark chocolate... I'm turning into the dark side, and I appreciate it a lot.
It's supposed to be healthier, and I just think it's another piece of heaven. I hated it growing up, and now, I'm all about the dark chocolate. Bitter and healthier. Okay, I'm half describing myself, I'm pretty bitter!

Enough about this, and let's start with the juicy things...

Since it's Valentine's Day, I want people to understand that there is more bad chocolate than good ones! And trust me, it's hard to find the right ones, the ones that don't give you a stomach ache.
Being born in Europe, I know that you either love Belgium or Swiss chocolate, and it is quite a debate! Everyone wants to be right, no matter what may be the reason.

First, I believe everyone has either ate some or either heard of it... Ferrero Rocher, Fine Hazelnut.
Originated from Italy, this a chocolate which consists of a whole hazelnut (roasted) covered in a thin wafer shell filled with hazelnut chocolate, and then covered in milk chocolate and chopped hazelnut. Quite the hazelnut chocolate, so if you are a hazelnut lover, go for this one... It's a favourite!

Second, Lindt has to be another favourite. The brand is top number one for Swiss chocolate and despite the fact that it is a company, they make the best chocolate, amazing chocolate! So if you want some decent amazing chocolate, this brand will give you some pleasure!

Third, Milka... Alright, I was raised with this brand, and the chocolates are quite special. Many types of chocolate with the milk bar, it's for every milk chocolate lovers! I still don't know where to get it in California, but I'm searching!

Fourth, Nestlé, Quality Street which is a selection of individual tinned toffees, chocolates, and sweets... First created in England! Each bite is a surprise! Obviously, this box was given during the holiday, and everyone knew which colour to take and not to take.

Fifth, also my favourite... Kinder Bueno... My personal favourite, the one I always went for as a kid, and still to this day, I will go for this chocolate bar, hazelnut cream filled wafer with chocolate covering... Once more made by the Italian confectionery maker Ferrero.

Valentine's Day may not be the best holiday for everyone, but let's enjoy the fun of receiving some extra love and intentions coming from our partners!  

"Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, Chocolate understands."

~Bella

Happy Birthday little Brother!

~Bella

February's list...

February started last week and believe it or not, I bought multiple books since 2018 has started... I have started a few and just bought the others just because I wanted! Not sure how I am going to make it to Ireland with the cases of books, between the weight and the amount I currently have and the ones I'm planning on getting... Anyways, it's not, for now, I have time to figure it out!

February, the shortest month of the year, also means my brother's birthday which is coming tomorrow! Come back the 8th for a special quick post on him!

The list isn't going to be long, only five good books, I had to buy just because I didn't feel like I could walk away from them!

Little one... At Swim-Two-Birds from Flann O'Brien (Brian O'Nolan)
"A wildly comic send-up of Irish literature and culture, At Swim-Two-Birds, is the story of a young, lazy, and frequently drunk Irish college student who lives with his curmudgeonly uncle in Dublin. When not in bed (where he seems to spend most of his time) or reading, he is composing a mischief-filled novel about Dermot Trellis, a second-rate author whose characters ultimately rebel against him and seek vengeance. From drugging him as he sleeps to dropping the ceiling on his head, these figures of Irish myth makes Trellis pay dearly for his bad writing."

Everyone has either read or heard about the story, the novel, and the author... If you haven't, I would tell you to go check it out because this is a great book no matter how famous or unfamous it may be!

The next three novels were written by Anne Enright, I got into her writing, giving me the urge to read more from her.

Little two... The Gathering
"A dazzling writer of international stature, Anne Enright is one of Ireland's most singular voices. Now she delivers The Gathering, a moving, evocative portrait of a large Irish family haunted by the past.
The nine surviving children of the Hegarty clan are gathering in Dublin for the wake of their wayward brother, Liam, drowned in the sea. His sister, Veronica, collects the body and keeps the dead man company, guarding the secret she shares with him- something that happened in their grandmother's house in the winter of 1968. As Enright traces the line of betrayal and redemption through three generations, she shows how memories warp and secrets fester. As in all Enright's work, her distinctive intelligence twists the world a fraction, and gives it back to us in a new and unforgettable light."

I read the first page and it captured me fast... Quickly fell in love with the way she writes!

Little three... Yesterday's Weather
"Enright's characters are haunted by the ghosts of the lives they might have led- lit by new flames, old flames, and flames that are guttering out. A woman's one-night stand is illuminated by dreams of a young boy on a cliff road, another's is thwarted by a swarm of somnolent bees. A pregnant woman is stuck in a slow lift with a tactile American stranger, a naked mother changes a nappy in a hotel bedroom, and waits for her husband to come back from the bar. This collection includes some of Enright's best love stories as well as her latest works."

It's something different, something dark and yet brilliant. It's something you rather not get into, but still, do cause you are drawn to every story.

Little four... The Green Road
"The children of Rosaleen Madigan leave the west of Ireland for lives they ever could have imagined, in Dublin. New York and various third-world towns. In her early old age their difficult, wonderful mother announces that she's decided to sell the house and divide the proceeds. Her adult children come back for a last Christmas, with the feeling that their childhoods are being erased, their personal history bought and sold."

It says that Anne Enright is addicted to the truth and it shows in every sentence. And that makes every detail more important than anything!

Little five... Ghosting from Jennie Erdal
"Ghosting moves from startlingly vivid evocations of an austere Scottish upbringing in Fife to superbly rendered portraits of the people- the young and beautiful, the titled, and the eccentric- with whom Erdal worked at a London- based publishing house. None is more affectionately or intriguingly drawn than that of Tiger himself. In temperament, Tiger and Erdal couldn't have been more different. Yet their relationship weathered storms of all kinds, from temper tantrums to serious financial reversals, with a tenacious bond that is both a wonder and an enigma."

Despite the fact that I love reading, and despite the fact that I don't set myself a specific schedule when it comes to reading, I read whenever I can, which is not too much lately... But hopefully, 2018 will be your year. The year where you will be escaping real life...

"Fairy Tales are more than true not because they tell us that dragons exist but because they tell us that dragon can be beaten." - Neil Gaiman

~Bella

That's the crazy thing you put me through...

Being a Celt!

More pros than cons if you are one like me!  We are quite mysterious, aren't we?

Can't stay away from what you are, where you are from and where you were raised into... Cause let's be honest between the music, the tales, and the festivals, the food and old languages you are supposed to know, I have lots to tell you about being a Celt!

Depending on which part you are from and being from different countries, everyone is highly similar, look at the Irish and the Scottish with the kilt. No judgments here, I was born around that so I can't say anything bad about it or be judgmental!

I'm sure you have heard about Celtics, the way they are, what they believe in, what they listen to and drink... Wear and talk... I mean Gaelic is quite popular and guess what, there are multiple old languages like this one!

I'm sure you also heard about druids? Oh these badasses people who might have done sacrifices, they did some pretty neat stuff too, such as advising chiefs with new laws, got to judge people for their crimes... They were considered the wisest people out there, so twenty years in training to get to their position was needed! If you don't know anything about druids, you should go and learn a bit more cause it's actually pretty interesting!

You know the roads? The ones that are EVERYWHERE, well we always thought Romans made this idea come true... Think again cause the Celts did it first and they were amazing at developing the great idea.
And gender didn't matter! Women could become warriors, chiefs, druids and thinking how Celts are, I'm not surprised, I don't understand why not everyone took this great situation, our world would be so much more equal by now! But sadly not because everyone else thought Celts were just like the Vikings, uneducated and barbarians. Not true, but that's how it turned out! Can't change what people thought and still may think about these people.

Now, despite what they may have done or not in the past, it is in the past. Today, being a celt means you are from either Ireland, Scotland, Brittany, Wales, Cornwall and Isle of man. Six nations to show that the 'Celtic nations' are still here even after much history to separate even destroy it all.
And somehow this makes me proud to be Celtic!
We are a tough crowd, may seem cold, lack of trust in others, but loyal friends who can drink for days and party all night long without worries.

When I talk about partying all night, I'm talking about the festivals!
Festivals...
Ireland has Fleadh Cheoil (and Gaelic Céilidh)
Scotland has Mod
Brittany has Fest Noz
Cornwall has Troy
and Wales has Eisteddfod.

Festivals show everyone who goes the music, the traditional clothes, the language, the food, drinks, and dances. The Celtic Media Festival is one of the biggest festivals which is an annual three-day event that promotes everything and it's been running since 1980. Quite a festival if you ask me. It's like the birthdays of the most important Celtic Saints... We either celebrate Saint Patrick's Day in Ireland, Saint David's Day in Wales, Saint Andrew's Day in Scotland, Saint Piran's Day in Cornwall, Saint Maughold's Day in Isle of Man and Fete de la St-Yves and Grand Pardon of Sainte-Anne-d'Auray in Brittany. Le pardon, being one of the popular celebrations in where I grew up, I had to see my mother dress like the old times, making me wants to participate and trust me... It's not easy to wear what they had to, we have it rather easy now.
A funny side note is even though it's all about celebrating, drink, dance around, it's also about religion. Born and raised Celtic isn't always easy...

You may drink a lot, but church is part of it all as well. The legends, the mythology, literature, the fantasy behind leprechauns or korrigans... Fairies... Magical forests... I mean you name it, we are full of mystery. Full of legends, stories to keep you up at night because you want to learn more about it all. I sure stayed long nights watching movies, reading books on the subject, and despite never seeing a magical creature, it's part of the Celtic ways... And just because you are Celtic doesn't mean you have a pot of gold waiting for you in your garden!


Despite the fact that Celtics were around years ago, it is still alive, and we are proof! 

"May you always find three welcomes...  In a garden in the summer, at a fireside during winter and, whatever the day or season, in the kind eyes of a friend." 

~Bella

Cartoons? Hell yes!

Little Throwback number I... 

CARTOONS!

If you didn't know, I was raised in Europe, specifically in France, and to be fairly honest, I was quite good at watching TV, cartoons during breakfast, lunchtime (cause I went back home for lunch), and right after homework! So you can imagine I had quite the knowledge of what was good at what time! 

Despite the love I once had for these cartoons, I don't personally watch them anymore, but I do remember the soundtrack of each one of them! They stick to you like glue, like phone numbers you had to remember and somehow still remember after years... 

I wanted to share a little about the cartoons I loved as a child and hope my future "children" will have the chance to watch themselves...

Let's get started...

*Il était une fois la vie*  or *Once upon a time... Life*
A French-Italian-Japanese-Spanish-Swiss animated series about the human body! Alright, doesn't sound appealing, but trust me despite the fact that the first episode was on the air in 1987, the series went on and on for generations! It was funny, cute, and educational! You would learn a lot more than any other cartoons. I mean I learned about vaccines, flue, and so much more. Now, this series had many other ones such as Once upon a time... Space or Once upon a time... Man and so on. You would learn about life in general by watching something funny on TV. Plus the generic is catchy to the point where it will get stuck in your head for hours. 

*Les Malheurs de Sophie* or * Sophie's Misfortunes*

Cartoon based on a French children's book that I had to read as a child. Since I was a cheeky child (probably still is), I loved the series! I loved watching and making my little brother watch it with me despite the fact that he hated it! I might have traumatized my dear brother with it, but it was worth it all! Every little girl loved the song and every story, every misfortune! It was full of love, passion, sadness. If I have a girl, she will be watching it! 

*Scooby-Doo*

I believe Scooby-Doo is INTERNATIONAL! If you don't know about it, something is wrong with you, you lived under a rock! It's old, amazing and the soundtrack is AWESOME! You get monsters, laughs, spies, mysteries, crime. One of my favourite cartoon! I don't think I need to go into details about this one or else I will talk about my crush of Fred...

*Pokemon*

Just like Scooby-Doo, it's INTERNATIONAL! Somehow, the French version of the cartoon, each Pokemon had their own new name. Sorry, they didn't have the same name as the English ones! Not sure how many of us had either the cards or the karaoke down, but we all knew about it. Recess had become wonderful. 

* Titi et Grosminet* or *Tweety and Sylvester*

Old TV show, first episode aired in 1942. I loved this show between the little side stories of the bird and the cat, there was the old woman who would spend her time investigating crimes. I couldn't stop laughing or watching the show no matter how many times my mother had to say "Beli, it's time." 

*Tintin* or *The Adventures of Tintin*

Based on a series of 24 Belgium comic albums which was most popular in Europe! Comic books first then the show! And trust me the mysteries, the background stories, the history and the fun you have by trying to solve the mystery yourself will make you love this show. I know what I'm talking about and it doesn't matter what your age is, or where you are from. Tintin is by far one of the favourites! 

Nonetheless, all the other good shows that were on the air growing up, my mum always made us watch Disney movies. And I have to admit she was right to make us watch them because to this day, I will surely watch the Lion King if I'm sad, Mulan if I want to remember that everything is possible and rules are meant to be broken, Tarzan to remind me that you don't need to be blood to have a family, Peter Pan to make dream of a far away land that you don't have to be a grown-up, Mary Poppins to sing along cause let's be honest they are amazing songs... And Pixar's are just as good as Anastasia! 

When I think about my childhood, I think about what my mother let me watch, made me watch, and I'm grateful now, thinking about doing the same in the future if I ever have children. TV might not be good for kids, that too much of it makes them stupid, but you can't go wrong with a good show! 

If you have recognized a few shows or even heard of them, I'm glad I got to let you go back in time for a short moment! Hopefully, good souvenirs emerged. 

"My Grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel."

~Bella

Pillow Thoughts - Courtney Peppernell

Christmas 2017...

A remarkable one which gave me the opportunity to have amazing friends who apparently knows me a little too well... Thank you to my really good friend T, I received an unexpected gift, a really cute book called "Pillow Thoughts" by Courtney Peppernell. 

At first, it was intriguing to read, and then it became more and more interesting that I have to read at least a page or two every day. 
So despite the fact that this little book is one of my favourites and I do not want to share it with anyone, I thought it would be nice to share a few lines or a few pages!

Here it goes... Hope you enjoy! 

*If you are Dreaming of Someone*

"You're covered in all these broken promises
from people who said they would never leave. 
Sometimes afraid of your own skin
and the scars that run deep in your veins. 
Are you ready
Are you ready
for someone who could turn you inside out?
No one dares to peel back all the layers of your skin
All this damage,
you're a mess.
Are you ready
Are you ready
Because I want your damaged skin. "

"We cannot all be artists
and I must admit I do not know how to paint
But if I were to take a palette
all my colors would be of you"

*If you are in Love*

"You remind me of home, 
of all the simple things in life, 
of light and love and the reasons, I am not alone.
You remind me of hope,
of the sea and the sky,
every hug and every kiss from your lips to your thighs, 
I have flown around the world and met no one like you
because you are all the things I keep coming back to."

"You know sometimes it's the little details 
that take up the most room in your heart.
How nervous they get
when you tell them you think they're beautiful,
the way they laugh
even if it's not supposed to be funny,
the way they reach for you and they find you through the dark
even if their eyes are 
closed."

"It's the last day of the year
and I still lose myself
in good books
and warm tea,
those quiet nights
and writing your name
on my windshield."

*If you are heartbroken*

"Perhaps it's just easier to smile and predent everything is 

fine, rather than admit my heart's a little swollen from losing

something that wasn't even mine. "

"You didn't have to say anything that night; you did everything

with your body and your eyes. The way you sat next to me, you

were close enough to reach but too far to touch. And your eyes,

those eyes that once said you'd love me forever, now spilled 

tears that this wasn't worth the fight anymore.

When did you become so tired of us?"

*If you are lonely*

"she's the type of girl

that has a place in her heart

for all the lonely people to go

with their forgotten footprints

in the snow"

"There are little pieces of happiness and they are scattered 

through your day. So take a basket with you as you step outside,

fill it up with all the little pieces, and bring it back inside. Take

a moment, just by yourself, take out all the pieces, and place

them on your shelf."

*If you are sad*

"It's exhausting to be locked in your head with all these thoughts

that tie you down. Just for one moment, try with all your might

to let go of all the things that stop you from being you."

"My soul is numb, and I am desperate to feel. In times of distress

and sadness, mornings are no longer forgivable and waking up

isn't ideal."

"Even sadness needs someone in its corner."

*If you are missing someone*

"We are standing at the edge of the world and yet we still do not

meet. You are soaked in daylight and I am covered in the night.

My heart yearns for our eclipse."

"You were always miles away. Maybe you were just always meant 

to be miles away. The distance saw us together in a dream and 

though we were better off without all the mess."

*If you need encouragement*

"emotional and messy

sometimes lost and confused

but if you only realized

the wisdom behind those eyes

with a heart that never lies

would you storm the world

like you haven't a thing to lose?"

"Maybe you're running scared because running is better than

letting someone else in. But the truth is, you can't spend your

whole life running. It's exhausting living in fear. Slow down. 

Chances and risks keep life interesting."

"You just have to surround yourself with people who have the 

same heart as you."

*If you are soul-searching*

"But I am so deeply lost in my own soul, how can I expect

anyone else to understand me?"

"They always say that transitions happen with big events. Like

a wedding, your birthday, or your graduation. But maybe it's

really in the smaller moments, like when you look at yourself 

in the mirror and realize how far you've come or how far you

still, have to go."

"It's so hard to know what to say

To someone who feels so lost,

So I'll stand here for you

In the wind and the rain

And I'll be the lighthouse you need.

Take my hand and breathe again

And I will guide you home."

*If you need a reason to stay*

"Things might not get better tomorrow. You may have many

tomorrows and nothing changes. But that is not the point. The

point of moving through all these tomorrows is to get to the 

one tomorrow that finally does get better."

*These are for you*

"I can't remember what it was like not to know you. I am not

sure if this is because we have met before. As though we have

seen each other in a different time and life and maybe your

soul is the one soul I keep running into. Or maybe it's just

because my life before you wasn't nearly as exciting. All I know

is when we met, we spent the afternoon in front of a beautiful

view, and yet all I could do was look at you."

"I wish there were a better way to tell you how much I love you.

To write it in the sky or dip all my feelings in gold. But the

truth is, it's much simpler than all of those things. All I know is 

is that I wake up each morning and I can never find the words

to explain how much I feel for you."

Hope you enjoyed a few lines from each chapter... Each chapter for a special moment in life! 

I know a little thought like these always makes me think twice about my own self. 

" Make a cup of tea and let yourself feel."- Courtney Peppernell

~Bella