Happy Birthday little Brother!

~Bella

Top Summer Favourites...

Summer, summer, summer...

Best time to get a tan on, relax, and obviously read (if you are like me, you won't tan but read, yes you will)... 
I don't tan, but I read, a whole lot, and buying books, well that's my thing! So I've gathered a list of books that I enjoyed reading or I'm in the process of reading or buying depending on the novel. Note that all the writers I will be mentioning are writers I either appreciate or adore. 

I. Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella. 
British writer whose writing is easy to read and get into. This novel is about a young teenager who suffers from a certain type of anxiety which keeps her from doing what other kids her age do. 
If you have anxiety and want to read something easy and different, go for it! I encourage you to read it. Now, this writer would be more for teenagers, but I believe that books, stories, any of them are meant for everyone including adults. Somehow this book changed my view on social anxiety, made me understand how people suffer around you can suffer from your disorder. It's quite frankly an inspiring book. 

II. The Bookshop On The Corner by Jenny Colgan. 
Scottish writer who's passion shine through each book, story. It's about a young woman who loses her job and travels to Scotland expecting something and instead a whole new life awaits her. 
One novel I'll read again as it is quite inspiring for young writers as well as readers. Her style of reading is very British, very pleasant to read, and easy enough to jump into the story, become the character itself. 

III. Meet Me At The Cupcake Cafe by Jenny Colgan. 
Yes, another novel from her... This story is about a young woman who's talent are put to the test... 
I think what captivated me is how Jenny shows that life isn't always what we expect even if we are "good" at what we do. But there is a bright side to every downfall. Now, I'm still in the process of reading it and it seems like I cannot put the book down, not one bit. 

The last one is actually three books as it is a trilogy. I will put the British edition as well as the US edition. I always get the British one but oh well... The author being Santa Montefiore and one of my favourite author! She always managed to capture the right feeling, the right word to make you feel all types of emotions.   

IV. Song Of Love And War (UK edition) The Irish Girl (US edition) if you cannot find this one another title came for the US edition, The Girl In The Castle.  BOOK I
Daughters Of The Castle Deverill  ( UK edition) The Daughters Of Ireland (US edition which is coming out in mid-August in the US). BOOK II 
The Last Secret Of The Deverill (UK edition) The US edition hasn't come out yet but I'm sure you can find the novel anyways. BOOK III
I won't be explaining much about these books as I'm still in the process of buying them. I want the original version so it's taking a bit more time than expected. Each one of her books has been taking a part of me into another world, leaving the reality behind. 

It is quite the original list of books but these ones are the ones I've been into this summer. They are worth the time and money, haven't been disappointed in any of choice yet, and hopefully, you will found my list as captivating as I was. 

"I do believe something very magical can happen when you read a good book." - J.K. Rowling 

~Bella

Crespelle di ceci...

Crespelle di ceci

Chickpea flour crespelle

Ingredients:

Crespelle:

3/4 cup unbleached all-purpose flour

1/2 cup chickpea flour

3/4 cup whole milk, plus more if needed

2 large eggs, lightly beaten

1/4 cup heavy cream

Fine sea salt to taste

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

Filling and sauce:

1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

3 to 4 small zucchini, sliced into thin rounds

3 tablespoons minced fresh herbs, such as thyme, parsley, and marjoram, plus more for garnish

1/4 cup diced mozzarella cheese

1 cup ricotta cheese

Fine sea salt to taste

Freshly ground black pepper to taste

1 1/2 pounds ripe tomatoes

Yellow bell pepper strips for garnish

A few leaves of butter lettuce for garnish

Directions:

1. To make the crespelle, sift together the all-purpose flour and the chickpea flour into a large bowl. Whisk in the milk until smooth, then whisk in the eggs, cream, salt, and pepper. (The mixture should have a pourable consistency. If not, whisk in a little additional milk until it does.) Cover and set aside to rest for 1 hour, then whisk in the oil. 

2. Heat a 10-inche nonstick pan or cast-iron skillet and coat it very lightly with oil by rubbing a dab of oil over the surface with a paper towel, wiping away any excess. Pour in a sixth of the batter, about 1/2 cup. Roll the pan in all directions to cat the surface, and then place it over medium heat until the batter has cooked into a thin crepe. Use a spatula to remove it from the pan and repeat the process, very lightly oiling the pan with the piece of paper towel each time. Set the crepes aside: do not stack them.

3. For the filling, heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil and cook the zucchini until tender, then sprinkle on the minced herbs.

4. Combine the zucchini mixture with the mozzarella and ricotta, and season to taste with salt and pepper.

5. Make a tomato sauce by first peeling the tomatoes (see page 205), then seeding and pureeing them in a blender or through a food mill with the remaining 3 tablespoons oil. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

6. Distribute the cheese filling equally onto the centers of the crespelle, then roll them up jelly roll style and cut them into 1 1/4- inch pinwheel slices. Serve them at room temperature with the tomato sauce and garnish them with additional minced herbs, bell pepper strips, and a few lettuce leaves.

Serve 6   Cooking Time: 1 hour

~Bella


Ps: I won't be posting Friday, or next week as I'm in a moving process. I don't think I'll be able to post anything. 

Beautiful names and their meanings...

We all have a name, some love it, others would have preferred to be named something else... My name, as many have told me is either Germanic or Italian, it means beautiful but also a beautiful serpent. Sadly, names originate from a certain place, but over time, other meanings take place, other countries to it for their own, and well, nowaday, it is difficult to know where our name come from and what it means. Names are given to us by our parents, grandparents, family members, another person. We don't choose it, and curiosity may happen, completely normal if you are quite the curious one as myself. You may dislike your name, dislike the fact that you have been given a family name, generation after generation, but a name is personal, it's us, it has a meaning. Our name comes from somewhere, the person that named you had reasons to name you the way they did. Sadly,

they don't always make the best choice, sometimes names just happen to be given because of a popular celebrity, a professional athlete, a song, a movie character... I, personally, rarely use my name, usually, my nickname comes up more often, Bella is just a nickname that I got when I was at the airport by two Italians who called me, Bella. Since that day at the airport, I used it, simple enough for people to say and remember. I like it better than my name but I ain't going to change it even if I had the chance to do so.
Since I've been writing my novel, I've been into names, looking to get the best names for novel characters.
I went through many lists, many books, went back in past family names. Took a while to go through them all, but I fell in love with a few names. I thought I would share the list in case you need name ideas for future kids or if you need to write an essay and cannot write the personal name.

Let's start with the boy names...

Owen-  Irish
Young, warrior, well-born, noble... This wonderful, intriguing name is becoming very popular... One of my favourite names, actually...
Matteo- Italian 
A variation of Matthew which means Gift of God. My mother's friend actually named her son, Matteo, written differently, but it really got me interested in seeing the name spelled in different countries. Matteo is a common name back in Italy, which also happens to be one of my favourite countries! 
Mattia- Italian 
Another variation of Matteo... Italians love their "A". Also, means Gift of God. 
Shawn-Irish
Derived from Sean, an Irish cognate of John, the name means God is gracious. 
Luca- Italian
I know another Italian names but can't get enough of them. Many forms of Luca came up, but this one seems to catch my eye a bit more. It means Light. 
Alexander- Swedish/ Greek
This name as many origins making it difficult to choose one country, the name means, "Defender of Man", "Tough". I'm in love with the name, got it from a Swedish actor who plays in True Blood. 
Damon-Greek
According to Greek legend, Damon and Pythias were friends who lived in Syracuse in the 4th century B.C.
The story goes on about Pythias being sentenced to death, but he was allowed to temporarily go free if Damon took his place in prison. Damon means "To Tame". 
Espen- Norwegian (Scandinavian)
God Bear... Strong and unusual name that many of us misspell... No, it has nothing to do with the sports network, ESPN. 
Mark- English/ British with Latin roots
"Consecrated to the God Mars" or "God of War".
Common derived name from Marcus which was one of the three most common given name in Ancient Rome. 
Conor- Irish
Anglicized form of the Gaelic name Conchobhar which means "dog lover" or "wolf lover". Use in Ireland for centuries, kings got the privilege to be called that way. Many legends have the Gaelic name in, but when Conor came into the place, Ireland adopted it. 

Girls names...

Valentina- Italian
Feminine form of Valentine, a saint's name. The meaning of this name is, "strength", "health". The Latin root Valentinus which is derived from Valens (strong, vigorous, powerful). 
Gwendolyn- Celtic/Welsh/ Breton
A variation of Gwendolen. A quite popular name in the United Sates even though it is pretty Celtic. 
Elowen- Irish/Cornish
Meaning "ELM"
The name is pronounced ehl-OWWaaN or EHL-owWehN. Can be used for girls and boys, but I prefer it for a girl. It wasn't given much before the twentieth century, and I still haven't met anyone with this name...
Rose- Norman/ Germanic
Latin roots "rosa", the original form of a German name, "Hrodheid", composed of the words Hrod (fame) and Heid (kind). When I think of this name I go straight to the movie Titanic, bad idea, but yet I still do it. But many will go for the flower. 
Elaina-Greek
Elaine which is the Old French form of Helen, the name of the famous beauty of the Trojan War story in Greek mythology. There are many forms of Elaina throughout the world, but this one stands out most. 
Thyra-Norwegian (Scandinavian)
Feminine name in honor of the Norse god of War, Tyr. Pretty uncommon name, but it's original, unique and you fall for it...
Davina-Scottish
Beloved or friend, it is the feminine name of David, adopted from the Hebrew. It has some kind of love into the name... 
Klara- Czech
Clear, bright, famous... Many derived names, many forms, and I opted for this one, thought about my favourite Disney movie... 
Alena-Celtic
The name of Alena is, Fair, good-looking. Feminine of Allen or variant of Helen.
Colleen-Irish
From the Irish Cailin meaning "girl" and used by the Irish in the USA and Australia as a way of connecting to their Irish roots. 

Every name is special in their own ways, it may not be original, but it's yours and you make it special, unique! Don't be like me and disliking your name, always going for the nickname, make your name stand out! 

"Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any languages."- Dale Carnegie

~Bella
Ps: I won't stop myself from writing the British way, I have a few things that I like to spell that way, so please do not judge! 

Circa Waves...

Everyone who wants to know me wants to know what I listen to, which one is my favorite song...

Please stop asking! I don't know my favorite song, all I know is I'm addicted to a few singers and bands. One of them happens to be indie and British... It happens to also be one of my favorite bands, one I can listen whenever I want to dance around in my undies and want to listen when I'm sad...

Circa Waves is a British Indie Rock band formed in Liverpool back in 2013.  The band consists of frontman Kieran Shudall who is the singer as well as a guitarist, Sam Rourke, bassist, Colin Jones, drummer and Joe Falconer, who is also a guitarist. 
I heard about the band when I was looking through similar bands to the Artic Monkeys. I've always loved British bands, British singers, their songs, lyrics are usually more profound than anyone else's. Their music is more appealing to me than anything else, and when I first listened to Circa Waves, I fell in love, completely in love. The way their songs move me, I couldn't just leave it be. Quite unbelievable if I may say, the first song that caught my ears was, "Young Chasers", amazing song! 

Then, I went through a lot more than the song and fell instantly in love with this song....

And then... This year, 2017, as I was looking through the last songs they recorded, both songs, "Fire That Burns" and " Wake Up"... 

The band made a successful appearance after the determination of the lead singer, who almost gave up on the career. The music business isn't an easy one, and the competition is beyond unimaginable. But they are quite the band with their new album, Different Creatures. 

The songs:

1. 'Wake Up'

2. 'Fire That Burns'

3. 'Goodbye'

4. 'Out On My Own'

5. 'Different Creatures'

6. 'Crying Shame'

7. ' Love's Run Out'

8. 'Stuck'

9. 'A Night Out On the Broken Tiles'

10. ' Without You'

11. 'Old Friends'

I'm beyond excited to listen to each one of these songs and love each one of them just like the others... 

"I'm a little too young with not enough time."- Circa Waves

~Bella

Middle of the Bed from Lucy Rose...

Middle of the Bed by Lucy Rose

I sleep in the middle of the bed

You don't know, is it fine to hold my hand?

I sleep in the middle of the bed

Sun slips through my cold hands

Do you really want me back?

Do you really want me back?

Cause I'm over it, over you

All over the town they say I love you

I'm over it, I'm over you

All over the town

They say I love you, yeah

They say I always will

They say I love you, yeah

These wounds, they won't heal

I talk to myself at night

Better still when the lights are turned out 

I talk inside my head

Better if nobody knows what I said

Do you really want me back?

Do you really want me back?

Cause I'm over it, over you

All over the town they say I love you

I'm over, I'm over you

All over the town

They say I love you, yeah

They say I always will

They say I love you, yeah

These wounds, they won't heal

It's all over the town

You're spreading the rumors

It's all over the town

You're spreading the rumors

If you knew me at all

You should all know my answers

(X4)

-Fin

~Bella

UPDATES: On These Two Adorable Little Ones

Sasha and Malia are finally getting used to the family and the place which is all new for them, still...

Yes, I know the names are like Obama's daughters, we didn't choose these names so no judgments. They are just names! It's actually cute, at least I find it adorable!

I thought I would share a little more photos than usual and less writing. There isn't much to explain except the fact that Sasha, the little gray one, happens to be the most annoying, scratchy little one, everyone in the family calls me the little Bella. We kind of are alike in similar ways, except that she is a kitten while I'm a human being. Strange enough, I don't find it insulting, after all, Sasha is my favorite! Malia on the other side is quieter, less active, more into hiding space like under beds or even couch. Smart and not as social as Sasha which is alright, I mean different personalities. Tougher to hold, and a little more bashful in a way. Amazingly pretty, even a friend of mine has been asking to give up her to him. Right, like it will happen.... Hahaha

So here are some photos of the little ones, trying to get Malia on pictures, but it's quite a task that I haven't perfected yet. It will happen, not now, though. Sorry...

"Behind every great person, there is a great cat."

~Bella

Let's just laugh at this...

You know that moment when a young man hugs you whenever he sees you and throws some mixed messages, some vibes? You know that moment when you come into someone's life and it just had to be at the wrong time but get attached either way?

Funny thing is that these situations had happened to me during the same time, or around the same time. A couple of days difference. When I'm writing about it, all I want to do is throw up and forget about it all, but I can't! Humans can't forget that easily especially when love gets in the way. The more I see it, the more I'm growing up, the more I express myself, the more I get hurt, the more I see that humans aren't at all nice. Either we use people for interest or just because we are in need of just love itself. 
We accept the love we think we deserve but do we really end up being in a healthy relationship? Do we end up in love with the person? Are we actually always happy? Sometimes, we deserve a whole lot more than what we may believe. Love blinds us, literally, we can't see the flaws, the horrible facts that the other person is just dragging us down completely. We look for ways to believe in the relationship, we try to make excuses and try and try until we are too tired to even bother anymore. Yet, when will that tired day come? When will we realize that this isn't for us? It may take weeks, months, years. All the time you are spending trying to fix something that isn't capable of changing, you are missing out on the opportunity of real, deep love, the one that is innocent, sweet, caring, and beyond wonderful, all this because you believe you can fix what's unfixable. We look too much when really, it's right behind you, ready to catch you before you fall, but instead, we trust the girl instead of the woman! 

There's a quote that I came across earlier this year,  "The problem is women think he will change, he won't. And men make the mistake of thinking she will never leave, she will." I'm a young woman, I had been in relationships before, long lasting and not so long ones. The quote is true, as a woman, I've assumed that I could make the guy change his mind on a few things, it failed quickly, and the guy never changed. You can't change anyone even if you try your hardest, I wouldn't change for your pretty eyes (unless it's an amelioration of my personality for ex: less caring or less annoying)... It takes two to tango, in a relationship, there are two people. If one of you sacrifice your love for cats and the other doesn't sacrifice anything at all; if one listens to your issues and the other don't bother helping you out with anything, then why are you still trying to save something? Give me some explanation to this catastrophe! I want to understand why people keep fighting for a lost cause, keep fighting for someone who wants to play around while you want to be stable! Why? Why is this always the case? Why do we go for what we know instead of the unknown which will be better anyways...? We are afraid of repeating the past, it's not the future that is scary, it's the past, it's the mistakes, but you are in control of your own destiny so why not take the chance to have something real instead of fighting, constantly with someone who isn't worth your time, your love?! And for the man believing she won't leave, dude, give up on that! A woman can leave you! We are stronger than you think, there's plenty fish in the water, you aren't the only one, and if you are too arrogant to see it, you may end up losing her. I know I can leave a guy, so can my mother even for love. So watch out instead of being too confident, you may lose something worth your while by wasting your time on someone who doesn't deserve you or because you play around too much that she will get tired and leave you helpless! 

My last breakup was painful like most of them. I saw it coming and I kept telling myself 'It's going to be over, start getting rid of these feelings before it's too late before you will get hurt a little too much. Handle it before you lose your entire self.' I prepared myself because I saw it coming, it was too much to bare at first, and I cried a bit. No feelings came rushing in, it felt like I was empty, numb, like I was no one, anyone. Terrible way of dealing with this situation. When you breakup you are supposed to cry to let your frustration out, or drink away, party, but crying is part of the process. Yet, all I had was that emptiness that wouldn't leave. It took a good month to feel again, it's not like I was over the guy, tough when you've got his name on you, tattooed. I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't cry much, that I would be empty instead of experiencing every feeling. I'm over him now, I learned a lesson, and I'm better. At the time, I thought he was the one, that my feelings were real, but when I look back when I met this new guy, I realized that I was wrong all this time. I never knew what love felt like until that one person opened my eyes. It only took me one simple phrase for me to get attached. One simple thing. Yet, I'm still here writing about how painful love can be. The breakup did a lot more damage than I could ever think. My self-esteem when down hill quickly, faster than anything else. Today, I'm lucky enough to work in front of amazing guys that boost me up, hug me and let me annoy them. Seems like it's nothing but to me, it means the world. They may all be married or in a relationship, but they are still here trying to make me feel all good about myself, make me believe that I am worth a lot more than what I get. Deserve a lot more than I can think. 

 "When you love someone more than they deserve, you will always end up with more pain than you deserve."

Imagine you have met a great person with amazing qualities. Knows how to talk, and yet seems innocent as well. That person may or may not be taken, you are unsure of it, so you go along, and see what happens. This person, on the other hand, ends up hurting you anyways... They choose the wrong person to play around with, they choose you instead of someone else. 

Don't start blaming anyone in this situation, it's no one's fault. Love happens, feelings come around and don't leave this easily. This position that you put yourself into isn't one to be proud of, to be ashamed of either. It could be simple, yet it's complex! If you are a hopeless romantic like me, there is no way in hell that you will control these feelings that kept rushing in as soon as you heard that one phrase, the one you've been wishing someone has said for a long, long time! Mixed messages happened, affection happened, and you fell for it like always. I don't believe I've learned anything from my past relationship because I still hope, have faith in love when all it has done for me is putting me into this horrible situations. I shouldn't be all lovey anymore, yet here I am believing in love, the real love. Why? Well because this time it actually felt real instead of a crush. Somehow, I messed it all up once again and lost everything because that's me. I'm starting to really believe in this family curse on the women. None of the women in my family deserve any deep love with amazing guys except a few, but if you look at my mother or even my deceased grandmother (she didn't have much luck either). It looks like there is a circle between us three that keeps us from getting the one real love. Sounds nuts when I'm typing this all down, I sound pathetic, to be honest... Sorry! 

Love is something that no one will entirely comprehend. It's not something that can be touched, it can only be feel. We believe we know how it feels, but we aren't 100% sure until the day you actually feel it yourself. It's not something I can personally describe, I did feel something different from the others, I'm positive of it, a rush in my stomach, couldn't keep my anxiety in control, it was just perfect yet, here I am typing how destructive a hopeless romantic is. We make up scenarios in our heads, we believe it's the one, then get hurt! We put everything for that person, we could give up literally anything for that person, yet the pain comes around anyways because there are two people in a relationship, not just one! Instead of letting go, we are too busy holding on to the things we aren't supposed to hold on to, so we end up thinking that's what we deserve; when in reality what you deserve is right behind you or just in front of you just hiding behind the one that keeps you from looking straight ahead. 

Throughout the relationships I had, there's one thing that keeps popping up to me, almost every day. 
You could be with someone, sleep next to someone, but don't talk to each other anymore like the two of you are just strangers now. Sometimes, we are afraid of letting go, make the first move, to give up something familiar to get better, to be happy. You can be determined, stubborn like me. I'm a little too stubborn, determined, and I do not forgive people, yet I learned that without giving up, be flexible or open-minded, and forgive at times, the relationship is lost! Without you being in control of your own emotions or beliefs, the relationship is just a lost cause. Being a couple takes work, from both parties, not just one, and if you see that you've been trying but they don't, give up. You aren't going to be a loser, they aren't going be hurt that much, and you'll be much happier because then you'll be able to experience real love instead of fake love! 
There is a song that describes this in the most beautiful way possible, and somehow I always end up crying like a baby on it. I would recommend you watch it, listen to the lyrics and try to understand because you'll see that without communication, trust, or anything, the relationship becomes a living nightmare! 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUWrcFpmI5U

If you see that the relationship won't go anywhere, break up, move on to better. What's a couple of days of crying when you can have years of full on happiness with someone else? 

"Often it is the most deserving people who cannot help loving those who destroy them."- Hermann Hesse

~Bella

Short indeed...

Last time I had long hair, a couple of weeks ago. My dear mum decided to play around with my hair, trying to do something different, she succeeded, but sadly, it failed on letting my long hair be. I wanted to keep my beautiful, wavy hair at the same length. It's all short NOW!

I don't remember the time when my hair was that short, I must have been in my toddler years. 

Come on now, long hair has been my little thing, not short hair! Never have been and never will! 

Long, wavy hair has been a part of me since I could remember. 

So let's get into the juicy details. After feeling like I should cut my hair, I asked my mum like always, and let her cut them. I could feel something different, I could feel the air on my back, that wasn't normal! Not at all! I began to tear up, to the point where I was feeling guilty for asking a haircut. Breaking down completely, thinking of the worse possible outcome. In other words, I was in shock. You have to know what it feels to understand how difficult and shocking it was for me. A disaster, the world ending... To make it quicker I broke down crying, making my mum feel bad, guilty for playing around and make it short. She was feeling so horribly for it, I couldn't keep on being mad, but I was frustrated to the point of not talking to her or even let her kiss my head. I wanted her to feel terrible, but she is still my mum and I can't stay mad at her forever. 

I've been living with the short hair for a while now, and to be fair I'm getting used to it, slowly but surely! Baby steps into the short hair world! I do miss my braid, long ponytail, or even messy bump I would have on most the time, I can't lie about that! Although, I miss all these little things, having short hair is amazingly nice! Less time on washing it, dry fast, easy to brush (I don't bother brushing it), and no need of a ponytail just have clips and you are good to go! 

They needed to be cut to grow faster, stronger, healthier! It's always good to cut them short once in a while. So I've heard! Now it's your choice if you want to believe it or not, suit yourself to your own opinion! It's my first time, but I'll make sure to keep you posted about my terrible short hair experience. I'm exaggerating! It's not that terrible. Many people have liked it, and complimented me on it. Compliments are appreciated and build me some confidence about the hair style. Then I think about how Rapunzel had the longest hair, difficult to keep it healthy, and when she cut them, she looked cute! No need to worry after all!


It's a "new me", a new beginning, a new chapter of my life. I actually feel a little more mature with shorter hair making my face look normal size as I do have a small face. Can't hide it much anymore! 
I feel like you can see my back shoulder tattoo a bit more, and I'm proud of it! 
The only little issue is the bed hair in the morning. It exists, and it's the first time I'm experiencing it! Not a joy! Simple to fix, though, throw a bit of water and pat.




"When you have short hair, there's just a feeling of here I am. What you see what you get. And there's a confidence that comes with wearing short hair and I like the way that makes me feel." -Halle Berry


~Bella

PS: I will post something tomorrow so don't forget to come read! 

First love...

Who remembers their first love?

First loves are the most special love!
The one you'll never forget, the one that made your world turn upside down...
Our first love happens when we are still young, innocent, pure, and it makes the relationship just as more powerful as your real love!
It's that one love that isn't picture perfect (oh no, far from it),that may end up in heartbreaks you'll never forget about, even after years away from that person! Your feelings will be there, somewhere, hiding away, but each you'll think of your first love, these feelings come rushing out... The one you "let slip" through your fingers!

When we say first love we refer to the first time you actually felt love running through your body. The one that you cared a lot more than most people, the one that made you feel butterflies in your tummy each time they would look into your eyes...
The one that made your excitement feel more powerful than ever before!
It's the first time you don't know what you are actually doing, the one that you have no control whatsoever! The first time when you feel lost because you don't know how to not fall in love! It's that one love that you want to spend your entire life with, every moment with that one person!
First love is innocent, pure, silly, crazy, unrealistic, But then they walked away, talking all your first times with them, away. It becomes an adventure, a crazy ride through feelings, emotions,
You may be happy today, thinking you completely forgot about that person, that it is just a memory, a long lost souvenir, yet it is haunting you. Trying to recreate that powerful first love is nearly impossible, that's why it's such an amazing and yet saddest moment, feeling! No matter what you may try to do to make it happen once again, it doesn't work. What's gone is gone! Love will never feel as excited as your first one!

Now when you "look" for love , you are more cautious, trust less, become almost untouchable. The uncertainty of belonging in a love like your first made you feel like is now just a feeling of losing yourself in a cautious path. That first love made you fall, fall hard. It turned you to into this pragmatic being who weighs every possibility,

analyses every situation, believing in only what you see, thinking a million times before letting your feelings come out. It might actually end up making you wiser than you were already! More careful to what might come ahead of you! It created a hole in your sole, and it won't fill it again! 

No matter how much you want that love back it just won't come around again, it will haunt you forever. Don't try to recreate that love, look ahead, stop thinking that you find that other half! If it was meant to be you would still be in that relationship! 

Look ahead :)

"Your first love will always have that special place in your heart!"

~Bella

Is it true or just a crush?

It's been a while since my last love advice post, I know I haven't been giving much advice, too preoccupied with other "things". So... Today, I decided to write and express my feelings towards a question that popped up really often, and it happened to me as well...

How do you know if you are in love with someone? 

Sounds difficult to know, but trust me, there're a few ways you can tell that it isn't just a crush!
Falling in love is one of the greatest, exciting but also scary thing out there. 
Loving someone is different for everybody. We love a certain way like for your family members you may love them a different way then you may love your best friend.We love

people in different ways at different times!  

So here is some ways that helped me and a few of my friends to really know if we loved or just had a simple crush on the person. 

When you wake up, it's the first person you think about! It's the first person that pops into your head when something good happens to you; you have to go tell them the news. When something terrible has happened, you seek support and comfort from that same person! 

These quotes about love being selfless and putting the love of your life above yourself?! Well, it's true, look at what Olaf from Frozen said, "Some people are worth melting for." Take this example into consideration: you are both sick in bed, but instead of leaving her/him do everything, you take charge into helping or doing everything for her/ him. Their needs become a priority, take a more important place than your own needs. 

Human beings are far from perfect, we all have flaws, look in the mirror! I, myself, have tons of flaws, being over caring is one of them! When you are in love, your lover's imperfections become qualities. You look above these little flaws, but when you are in love you accept the person's flaws and qualities. Love is the ability to accept and learn how to love imperfections (unique flaws). 

The best part of your day is when you hear from them (your special someone), and you look forward to that part of the day! They bring a smile on your face! Seeing them is better than being alone, and you prefer being with them than anyone else. 

You stay closer to the person you love when around others. You don't back away from cuddles or kisses, public affection. When in a group of people, you may go ahead and talk to someone across the room, far from your partner, but you check up on them in the corner of your eye and go back directly to them as soon. 

And finally imagine a future where the person you "love" isn't around! How will you react? Will you cry yourself to sleep at night, and dream of having them around, or will you just say, "Wasn't meant to be, there's plenty fish in the water." ? 
That simple question may answer a lot! Ask yourself questions like: 
- If something happens to them, they are at the hospital, will you rush out there or wait the next or couple days to go see how things are going?
- Do you see yourself with that person for the next year or so?
- Can you be yourself around them? (If you are yourself it means you aren't afraid to show your true self, and it means a lot more than just a crush).
- Can you go on days without talking to them or can't at all?

Don't assume these are just the ways to know, I'm sure there are other ways, don't jump to any conclusion! I'm interested in knowing what are your ways, I'm always open to opinions! 

Loving someone isn't a game, it's your feelings, emotions that are attached to that one single person! You can just not talk to them, can't just ignore them and pretend they don't exist! When you love, you do everything in your power to be there for them, to love them unconditionally, to protect them from the bad things. Now, we are humans and humans are rather stupid and blind when in love... If I were you, I would be careful on who you say I love you to...

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

~Bella