It's never too late to realize...

A couple of years ago, my whole perspective of life was different from now. You may think to yourself, "Well people mature up, develop, think differently over the years."
Not everyone will agree with this, but I do because my views on life have changed. I grew up in a couple of years...
Experiences, life events, issues that I had to cope with... They may change your mind on a few things, I know they did for me. 

Here's a little story, without too many details! 

Since I could remember, my relationship with my father hasn't been the best. He was always away at work and would come home during the weekend just to work in the garden or on the house. To be fairly honest, he wouldn't spend much time with me, a little more with my brother, though! Not something I minded since I had my mother, brother, and friends around. But then things started to become horrific, out of control after my mother talked about divorce. I don't think anyone will jump up and down, joyful nor excited about such a news. Yet, 'some respect is supposed to be socially acceptable. It didn't happen though. My father took it awfully badly which led to many terrible events and non-acceptable comments. To this day, my father hates my mother, despise to the point of making her sick, emotionally sick. Hating her with a passion even after rebuilding a new life with a new woman and a new child. 
I haven't talked or seen him for over 4 years now, quite a while to be fairly honest. Didn't occur to me to forgive him for what he had done, until just a couple of weeks ago. No, I'm still not ready to forgive him, I'm just ready to move on from him, from my own father. 
I'm finally accepting the fact that my dear father doesn't want anything to do with me. Accepting the fact that my father will never want to apologize for his past and recent actions, or will let see my half sister. Hopefully not never...
This said, even if I'm ready to move on, I'm far from believing I will ever be able to forgive my father's actions, sayings, behaviors. 
How can you forgive someone when that same person doesn't give you any explanations, no reasons behind their actions? 
I don't think anyone would be able to forgive my father, even if he was apologizing because saying, "sorry" hurts him too much. 
My father has a big mouth,  but when it comes to saying the right thing, he shut his mouth. No actions, nothing. It's sad but true! 

Moving forward means saying goodbye to the past and saying hello to the now. It's a new adventure that awaits you! Indeed it is scary as we do not know what the future holds, but remember that without today and a tomorrow, you get stuck in the past, the already written past, the one who is supposed to teach you a valuable lesson. 
My childhood isn't the greatest one, and I had to mature up faster than most kids, but at the end of the day, I'm still here, growing up every day. So you may feel like you are alone, but you aren't, many of us are just like you with difficult childhoods. My story may not have had such a happy beginning, but I will make sure to have a happy ending! Just like in Disney movies... 

"Confine yourself to the present." - Marcus Aurelius

~Bella