Does Religion Should Matter? (3)

Debates... Agree to disagree once again...

The should it matter is another way to start giving our opinions, and this one isn't easy!

As you may alright know, some subjects are far from easy-going nor pleasant to converse such as politics but as well as religion!

When I think about religion I think about my own, I was born Catholic even though I do not practice or have a difficult time believe in it all, it's still part of who I am. Now, it never came as an issue to anyone nor my ex-boyfriends. None of them asked or been bothered by what I believe in, which is technically not a specific religion.

Being in love with someone who read a different religious book than you, may affect the way you may want to raise your children in, later in life. But, if you both know how to manage both religions, I believe there is a great future for you and the family.
Now, before jumping into the future conclusion of the difficulties of what should your children believe in, let's start at the beginning of the story!

Falling in love is easy! Falling in love with someone who's religion is the opposite of yours is possible! A happy relationship will happen, religion doesn't make you sadder or happier, it's what you believe in. It could lead to lots of arguments especially if you are not open-minded and accept your partner's religion. It takes a lot to accept someone's flaws so religion wise, it could be difficult especially when you practice your religion to the letter.
Members of one religion could value the same things, so how could partners get along when they have different morals, believes... Arguing, being closed-minded, stubborn enough to not let go of your determination of what people should believe in. It's similar to a couple who are fighting on either they will go out for dinner or stay home to dine. Fixing issues or disagreements is easy when you both talk,  so why should it be otherwise with religion? Why can't we talk and see what's best to do instead of raising our voices? Why should we get into violent arguments over the subject?

Religions have been, in fact, one of the reasons for wars. Wars need reasons to happen, money and religion are usually the cause of it. Today, we see it with Muslims. Because of a few of the religion (so they say they believe in), we have to think they are all bad. Should we start defining who a person is by what they believe in? If that's the case then Christianity has done a lot more, how many did we kill for the Christ? How many people fought for what they believed in? Plenty, but is there any writing saying you should kill for what you believe in? Is there any Bible, Quran or any other religious books that state you should kill another human being? People who use their religion to explain their behaviors, saying or actions are not everybody. These people are in fact not religious or else they wouldn't do what they do. 
Faith isn't murder, it might be a difficult subject to talk about, but that's only human beings aren't open-minded. People are now determined to stick with their own story, not wanting to hear anyone's opinion, and then you complain about wars, well maybe if we listened more, things would differ! 
Relationships are exactly the same. If two people don't communicate, don't listen to one another, how will the relationship grow, how will you be happy? Without communicating no one can understand what the other person think. If you live with each other, discussing religions, carefully, is one way to avoid arguments. Surely, being open-minded to another alternative would make a relationship grown instead of letting if fall apart. 

As Orin, a YouTuber said: 

It doesn't matter what you believe in, it's about the person you are. 

In a relationship, the only way to figure it all out, you both have to talk to find the right way to let the relation grow. Religion isn't politic, isn't a crime, and it's only the faith you put into someone or something, it's what makes you, you. No one should judge you for what you believe in if they do... Maybe you should revise the situation.... No one wants to have an unhappy relationship where both people have to hide who they are, what they believe in. 

"In every religion, there is love, yet love has no religion."

~Bella

Little once, little forever...

I didn't know how to start this post, it is quite personal but people don't know half of what makes me, me... Not many will know what I had to go through at a young age and what I still have to deal with at my age. Yes, I'll be talking about ten year or more ago. Yes, it's going to be about me, but also how it may affect others as well. I know there's worse people than me who have to go through a lot more at a younger age. Everyone deals with situations differently, and this is how I've dealt with a few things. 

To make you understand a few things, I never really lived with my father as he worked the entire week, and would come back only on weekends. I never had a father at home like most of my peers from school, and I was alright with that. I still had my mother and brother with me! Second, my parents divorced when I was about ten years of age, leaving my brother being six. 
Children don't comprehend why their parents separate until the day one or both parents talk about the subject, calmly with plenty of explanation that the child will understand. It will be a stressful time for everyone, and many children react badly, abandonment, violence will be present, verbally or physically. Other kids will just be shut off, introverted, depressed, will ignore everyone and everything. And some will just live their life, leaving their parents to deal with the problem themselves. 

Now, most parents will talk in front of the children, and this will be the end of the beautiful, innocence that children have as they mature up quicker. It's a fault, but not talking, telling the truth doesn't help either. Kids need some reassurance, confidence, as well as space to process what's going on, and the parents need to be open minded to the possibility of responding to questions, without being evil about the other parent. 

My parents had violent fights as well as dishes being thrown, hits from my father to my mother, bloody hands, and yelling, lots of yelling especially from my father. Treats and revengeful words were thrown as well as death treats from my father to my mother. 
When you hear about guns and killing your mother, trust me, you will start being afraid of the consequence, the future, what your father is capable of doing. 
People don't understand why I don't trust men, why I have such a hard time being able to act "normally" around them and why I'm so distant at times. It's not a hatred against men, it's more a cautious side that shows up more often than what I anticipate. Imagine this...

You are about ten, you had your first kiss, you have a younger brother, you are finishing elementary school (In France, 6th grade is in junior high and not elementary). You play piano and teach your cat an easy song. You are a bookworm with earplugs almost all the time... Have amazing grades in literature and history, bad grades in math. You spend hours trying to fix issues with friends, listening to their problems as well as ignoring your own. Then one day, your mother decides to leave your father. That one doesn't take it slightly, making treats, being even more violent than he usually is, hits more than before, and yells all the time. You see, your mother sleep upstairs in the spare bed while your father is downstairs in the bedroom which happen to be below yours. You wake up suddenly in the middle of the night just to hear him cry or yell or making noises as he search wardrobes for whatever. 
This is just a passage as you leave a few months later to live in another city, another school, and you go see your father one or two weekends each month. You feel a little better, your mother explains why she left, but  you are living in fear that your father comes around to kill you and your mother, brother. Whenever you go back to his place, all he does is complain, breaks photo frame, shows you the blood that runs down his hand, even if he knows you can't see it because you either faint or throw up. He barely makes dinner so you are stuck doing it yourself, makes grocery shopping lists for the next day, you are stuck with telling your brother to go shower before dinner time. Putting your brother to bed and play with him. Stuck with the responsibility of dealing with a father that only cries, complains and pretends to be the good guy when it's the opposite. Stuck with the responsibility of protecting your brother by getting the hits yourself, by telling him to go back upstairs and lock the door in case something goes wrong...

How would you deal with all that? 
How would you feel about all this? 
How would you behave in this situation?
Would you still trust a man? Talk to your father? 

My mother helped me a lot, supported me, but I still felt alone, and I had to mature up quicker than everyone my age. None of my friends would understand and I barely talked because, let's be honest, it's embarrassing. It's like a woman who is dealing with domestic violence, will she speak up? Will she leave? Most the time, they are too scared to do that. So a ten years old girl isn't capable of much. 
I'm turning twenty-one in a couple months from now, and no, I've never really talked about it all to someone except a few things to some people who I thought would understand and listen. Sadly, people still manage to tell me that I have a problem, that I don't trust enough people, that I'm too honest, that I shut down quickly, I judge people too fast. After my teenage years, I had to deal with liars, manipulators, a father that rejected me, and you expect me to be all trusting? I don't think so.  You can't expect me to not trust my gusts when I'm usually right about someone. Over the years, I learned that not every man is the same, that some are actually lovable and sweet, the opposite of my father. But, still, do not expect me to trust you, to not be cold at first, and behave differently than I am. 

Traumas don't go away, they stay, heal over time, but they stay. Just like you forgive, but never forget! In my case, I won't be able to forgive a man that insulting me, hit me, proved that I was nothing to him for years, that doesn't try to explain or apologize for his action! Before you judge the way I am, try and comprehend why I became the way I am today. Instead of putting me down by insulting me, my behavior, or telling me to change, try and listen to my story. 
Everyone doesn't get the chance to have a happy childhood, joyful teenage years, being the little princess or prince. Some have to deal with screams, violence, and others. We may be strong, we may strive and let the past be the past, move on, but the trauma is still here, it may affect us in a way that we cannot always control!

"It's not the future that you're afraid of. It's repeating the past that makes you anxious. "

~Bella

The Book of Symbols 4...

Shell

From time immemorial, we have held conch shells to our ears to hear the surflike sound - the eternal tides of life that engrave their markings upon us. The human ear resembles a shell, gathering vibrations of air in its outer cavity called the "conch," and directing them through the winding passages of its shell-like inner ear as sound, symbolically evoking an interior listening. "He who has ears to hear let him hear," said Jesus of the hidden meaning of his parables. Images of the Buddha with elongated ears suggest that listening with the inner ear includes keeping silent, meditating on what has been said and opening ourselves to the resonance of the source. 

Shell-shaped and oversized, the ear of the Grand

Buddha suggests wise listening. Detail from a carved

cliff face, 713 C.E., Leshan, China

We have also raised the conch shell to our lips, trumpeting as gods of the sea might have, for the sound of the conch was said to lull the tumultuous waves of the sea.That the conch comes from the deep associates it with the underworld. The Mayan deity Quetzalcoatl mythically descends to Mictlan, the abode of the skeletons, as a dead conch that has fallen silent, so that worms may bore into him in order that he come to life again inside (Moctezuma, 138-9).

Figure, perhaps a deity, emerging from a shell,

showing whorls a growth. Effigy vase, painted

terra-cotta, Mayan, 600-800 C.E.

Shells are mysterious sea treasure, in beautiful shapes, sometimes symmetrical, often ridged and whorled, reflecting stages of growth. The recesses of a shell are reminiscent of the sacred spiral, labyrinth, and center. The intimation of marine life is also an allusion to the hidden life of our interior world, sometimes surfacing, leaving its evidence in consciousness, sometimes not. A shell is an exoskeleton serving to protect the vulnerable creature that dwells within. But shells are also delicate, easily broken, not the tough carapace of defensiveness. We speak of coming out of, or going into, one's "shell," suggesting a gradual, tenuous exposure to the world, or of retreat from it, in privacy, refuge or withdrawal.

As if incised by the waters of eternity- a stone conch 

shell. Aztec, ca. 1486-1502, Temple Mayor, Mexico.

The shape and depth of some shells, the lush pink of their coloring, brings to mind the female vulva, associating the shell with the allure and mystery of the feminine, and with incarnation and fertility. Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love (to the Roman Venus), materializing out of the ocean's foam, is borne ashore on a seashell. In his celebrated painting, Odilon Redon depicts the open, vulva-shaped shell, its soft opalescence infusing the sky and the goddess lying, yet standing, asleep and yet waking, as in a vision. We adorn ourselves with shells, remembering the goddess and her beauty, her seductions. The shell and its evocation of the uterine salt-sea, the moon, tidal ebb, and flow imparts a sense of birth and rebirth; early Christian art made the empty shell an image of the soul's departure to immortality. 

The Birth of Venus, by Odilon Redon, oil on canvas,

ca. 1912, France. 

~Bella

Little note: I won't be able to post on Friday so I'm going to post tomorrow instead. Sorry about that, but you'll still get a post :)