A week or so ago, I wrote about my own ways of dealing with a broken heart and how I'm very unsocial. Now, these things may help me at the moment, but I know that everything I do doesn't work for everybody, and it won't help me forever. It won't work eternally, sadly. I know I will explode, one day, destroy my own self and people who I love at the same time.
So after talking to friends I came up with a few things that work best for people, and no, I'm just talking to girls but guys as well. I don't believe heartaches only affect women.
Big one~ Be social! No matter what you may feel, or look like, go out and enjoy the world. When you have a broken heart, being social will keep you from drowning yourself in sad movies, music. Dress up a little even if it's to get groceries, you never know if someone may catch your eyes... Be pretty or handsome for yourself! Even if it sounds stupid, you will feel better. Small gestures count.
Big two~ Take the time to review yourself! What I mean by that is simply, take some time for yourself, treat yourself right! I do NOT mean shopping! I'm talking to most girls out there or guys who love to go shopping, getting that wallet empty. I don't mean go shopping and spend every penny on stuff you won't even use, wear or even need. Treating yourself with a massage, a road trip somewhere nice with a friend or two, going to concerts may help you a lot more than spending money in shops.
Big three~ Don't be afraid of others approaching you. Sounds odd when you read it like this, but usually, after a breakup or a simple heartache, you tend to avoid any contact with people, and you don't believe any compliments as you are still hurting from a previous person. Letting others compliment you, approach you, talk to you and flirt with you gives you a boost of self-esteem that you need, especially during that time. After a breakup, the best you could possibly do is let people treat you well.
Big four~ Cry away every bad feeling because it's healthy! Do not believe it's a sign of weakness, on the contrary, be proud it makes you human! Crying will help you take away the negativity that has been storing in you.
Big five~ Catch up on things you have been postponing. You remember the projects, the passions you couldn't do during your time with your ex... Well, I've got great news for you, you can finally do them! Not the things you have been procrastinating, but the ones you couldn't do because your ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend wasn't into it. The good thing about doing these things is that it keeps your mind busy, busy from thinking about what had happened.
Big six~ Drink! Alright, do not drink like a maniac, but responsibly! What will a glass of red wine do to you? Maybe get you tipsy for a bit but that will be it. Drinking responsibly will make you tipsy enough to be in a happy mood. I'm just pointing out how I am on this one... Don't go out, get wasted, jump on whoever is moving. That walk of shame will give you a headache the next morning. I wouldn't know much about that but from what I've heard, it's not pretty.
Big seven~ Give love to people who deserve it. Despite the fact that you are hurt and don't want to give anything to anyone, giving out some of your love is something that will make you think twice about being sad! Instead of desperately searching for someone else, give some love. Instead of spreading some hate, spread some love.
Big eight~ Live in the present and future instead of the past. Being nostalgic is a thing that everyone has to live through at least once either via listening to a song or eating something your deceased grandmother used to cook, but do you have to live every day in the past? It's already written and cannot be re-written. The best you can do in this situation is to think about the present and the future as it is happening and you have the power to change the future as it hasn't happened yet. Why bother going back to the past, knowing it was awful?
Being heartbroken isn't something fun to deal with, easy to manage and despite how much stuff you will do to keep that mind of yours busy, only time can repair a broken heart. There are ways to help such as the ones I listed above but it won't cure a broken heart. The only thing that has worked is when I fell in love with someone else. I had completely forgotten my ex but this time... I'm still in the process of repairing my broken heart!
Having your heart broken isn't something meant to be pleasant, and it hurts. Now, the way you deal with it is up to you! Either stay in bed, depressed, listening to sad music, watching romantic movies, and crying an ocean or you pick yourself up. Get that ass out of bed, drag yourself outside if necessary but do not sob yourself away because you are better than the person who hurt you!
Hopefully, you have better luck than me!
"If it's real, it'll hurt like hell."
~Bella
Alright, don't imagine some crazy post about a story gone wrong... It's about what I do when I get my heart shattered into millions of pieces, broken down, hurt. I came up with the idea as I was scrolling down Instagram... Sounds a little pathetic when I write it down.
Anyways,
As I was saying I'm an odd person when it comes to my own broken heart. I don't sit down with a jar of ice cream and listen to sad songs all day/night long. At least I'm not doing that anymore. I evaluate to the next level, jumped into something different. I don't watch the same movie as I usually would do even though 50 first dates is an amazing movie and I continue to watch it every four month or so. And I surely don't cry like a baby anymore I cry rivers instead of oceans. But now what I do is quite ... Well, I'll let you judge for yourself!
~ Let's ignore the fact that I'm currently hurting, emotionally hurting. Why bother with all these unwanted feelings, emotions? Why deal with them when you know that it will only make you hurt? They could potentially destroy you.
~Instagram fanatic! As many of you I have Instagram, andI post almost everyday, and go on there whenever I've got time to do so! I scroll down and I like photos like everyone else. Now, when I have a broken heart, the photos go more for attractive tattooed guys. I start to fantasize on good looking guys, ones I'll never have, at least I know so it's keeping me sane, kind of sane. It keeps me away from thinking about the boy who broke my heart into million of pieces.
~Go to coffee shops or bookstore! Safe heaven for me as I'm a bookworm who prefers to be left alone. Great places to ignore everyone around me. Also a great place to get some writing done even though I'm people watching half of the time. Going to grab a coffee, sitting down with a book, a notebook, a pen, and phone on the side just in case, makes me feel better because I'm alone without being alone as there's people around.
~Read to escape reality. I'm into every type of books, but when I'm heartbroken a good thriller, crime, mystery novel keeps me from thinking about love, so I stay away from romantic, cheesy stories. A hint of mystery is always nice, it keeps your mind occupied on what's coming next!
~Baileys Irish Cream on rocks at my favourite bar. If you have never heard of this alcohol it's technically an Irish whiskey and cream based liqueur which only has 17% alcohol so you can have plenty of it without getting drunk. In my case, I never get drunk out of it and I do get teased for drinking it. People either look at me and wonder what my drink is as many are drinking tequila or vodka or my friends are work there are calling it the adult chocolate milk. Just because it doesn't have much alcohol doesn't mean it's bad. It actually taste amazing and you should try it.
Despite the fun I have ignoring my emotions, lying to myself on how great I'm feeling, focusing my thoughts on either work or writing or on someone else, the broken heart is still there. Appearing on certain occasions. Instead of dealing with the feelings, I bottle all them up and close it tight enough until the day I explode. That day hasn't come yet, but I can feel it coming as my anxiety has been quite tough to deal with. Each couple I see on the street makes me want to vomit or on the contrary makes me wonder if I'll ever have that again. Sadly, I ain't the positive type of person when it comes to myself and negativity takes over my entire self. Destroying each chance of happiness.
As you can tell, I don't or barely socialize, probably not the best thing you could be doing in this situation but that's what I do and it's working fine for now. I close up entirely which makes me feel lonely after a while, but I prefer to feel this way instead of being around a bunch of people who are fake enough to lie straight to my face saying things such as, " He wasn't cute anyways." or " Girl, you will find a new guy in no time." We all know these white lies that our friends tell us to make us feel better, but deep down we know it ain't true. So I highly prefer the "unsocial me" over the "social me".
Over the course of a year, my ideas, my views of life, love, and everything else have changed, dramatically changed. I'm not into the same things, I mature up in ways I wouldn't thought I would even though I'm still the same person, I don't do what I would do a couple years back when I had a broken heart, and on the contrary, now, it's difficult to get over someone, to find someone new, to trust again. Not that I trust easily in the first place. I'm more distant than I already was. That's all.
I'm the type of person who destroys herself without the help of anyone. I'm the type of young woman who's vivid imagination make up scenarios who aren't pleasant which usually lead to a slight depression, a mini depression. I suggest you don't let your brain control too much of your thoughts and let your imagination derive too much either in case you drown into your own despair.
"Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser."
~Bella
