Want to go at the party?

If you don't know me or want to learn a little about me this might just do the trick!

You know what an introvert is? Right? Well if you aren't sure here is the definition (in my own words and what I think it is, based on myself)...
A shy person who prefers to spend time alone away from the crowd doing their own thing.

The online definition, in my opinion, wasn't right! My only concern isn't my own thoughts or feelings, it's actually the opposite! I don't care much about myself, I'm more the over caring about others type of person! So the definition is wrong for my part! It will teach me to always look up definitions online...


I'm an introvert! Alright, to be more precise I'm in between the introvert and extrovert... I'm mostly made up of introvert "genes".

Let's say that instead of going to parties or go drink at a local bar (I ain't 21 yet so I can't do that in the US), I will just stay cozy at home or with a person or two having fun outside or something. The idea of being around more than five people is considered a crowd to me and anxiety builds up quickly, I feel uncomfortable... But then again, I can totally make it work. I went to Las Vegas last summer for a convention with my "big sister" and I was alone with a bunch of strangers for the most part of the day and I felt completely fine! So I guess it depends on my mood as well... If I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, don't blame me just blame the bed...

Being an introvert has its perks, though, we will make fewer insults, make less social gaffes... Obviously, if you are with someone that doesn't know you, you will be judged and they won't try to understand you. That's far from being a perk, but they can't read your mind so just tell them that you don't feel comfortable around too many people. 

The first time I realized that I was more the introvert type of girl is when back in high school I decided to leave and do homeschooling. I would do better by myself than listening to people teach me and work with others. It was an eye-opening, and then I saw that there was plenty more situation that could have led me to realize it sooner. I would always or most the time, decline a party invite when I knew there was going to be lots of people. Or when I would lock myself in my room without the outside world, I was more on my computer (I still kind of do that at times, I miss being by myself and prefer to lock myself in). My experience of growing up wasn't at all like most kids, I had to grow up faster, mature quicker than most people my age. I didn't do crazy things, rebel on my parents, or anything a young teenager would do. In my opinion, I became introvert when I came in California, not speaking the language, feeling alone not understood by anyone. It made my teenage years quite different... I had family issues to deal with and I couldn't concentrate on friends. It's not like I was a loner, far from it, but I wasn't spending as much time as I should have. Now I regret it a little. Sometimes,  I want to do it all over again and mature up just like the others... But time traveling hasn't been a success to anyone yet, so I'm quite glad I mature up it makes me talk to older people more. That's pretty nice :)
The funny thing is I still have my extrovert side that shows up once in a while. I talk to people more, and I can meet new acquaintance easily. That side isn't really put in front, though, you may get lucky if I choose to talk to you. I tend to be careful on who I talk to in general.

Just because I can be unsocial doesn't mean I can't party and talk to people normally. It doesn't mean I never go outside, I actually try my best to get out (even though right now it's more the hiding from the sun part that keeps me inside, ha-ha), and it certainly not mean I can't live a normal life. It's not a disease or disorder! So stop judging! There's plenty of us on this planet, and even though not everyone understands us, we make the best out of it.

"Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe." -Susan Cain

~Bella